


you get me through every dark night

by baeconandeggs, mychogiway



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Original Characters - Freeform, War, graphic depiction of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 15:23:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 159,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15003764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychogiway/pseuds/mychogiway
Summary: It's quite ironic; how Baekhyun feels safe only when he's lying in the arms of a man whom he is supposed to think of as an enemy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** BAE593  
>  **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> **Author's Note:** jesus that was quite a long ride, i think i’m dead. my social life was destroyed because of this fic lol but i’m so happy i joined this fest. it was fun. i want to thank the mods for being so nice to me, then I want to thank H. for being there from the very start (we created this fic together boi), and then I want to thank my beta aka chaos creator so, so much. you are a sweetheart and i love you so much thanks for putting up with me lol (get ready because there is more to come now J ). also, i'm very thankful to my prompter to having such an amazing idea, and i hope you'll like it even tho it's so angsty. I don’t want to make this too long, but I feel the need to state a few things - > I don’t study history so I tried my best with limited knowledge, same with medical stuff, so pls don’t be too bad to me haha. I know there will be some questions regarding this fic (I can already see some of them) so don’t hesitate to ask and I will answer them gladly for you as anon. well, I guess that’s it. enjoy reading I guess lol
> 
> ALSO MODUCK I LOVE YOU SWEET SWEET PERSON

_September 1950, Pohang_

"I'm sorry, it will hurt now," Baekhyun tells his patient, voice compassionate as he brings the gauze pad soaked in saline closer to the wound, locking his eyes with the soldier's for a second and making sure that the man lying on the bed has heard the warning before the paramedic continues in his treatment. When the soldier nods in understanding, grabbing the bed sheets for support so tightly that his knuckles turn white, Baekhyun finally presses the gauze pad on the biggest of the cuts and wipes the damaged skin with it as tenderly as possible, his ears catching every hiss and pained gasp that escapes the soldier's mouth while he's cleaning the wound thoroughly. The injury isn't severe by any means and isn't as bad as it might seem at the first glance too, but Baekhyun can imagine the treatment being still quite painful since there is surely nothing pleasant about the mixture of salt and water making contact with a fresh and open wound.

From the information he has gotten from his patient, the man had stepped into some nasty trap on the battlefield which caused the cuts all around his ankle, some small and superficial while others are bigger and deeper too. Today, Baekhyun has already treated two men whose leg had gotten stuck in a hidden trap, coincidentally both of them having their right leg injured. He had told the two soldiers that they should watch their step more, even though Baekhyun knows that it's hardly possible to be careful about everything when danger is everywhere around them, and not even thirty minutes later, another man with the same problem appeared.

After cleaning the wound, Baekhyun pats the area dry using a clean cloth and wraps the man's leg in a bandage, his slender fingers working quick but careful. He can already hear his name being called from distance just as he's finishing the knot on the bandage, the nurse announcing that another soldier needs immediate medical treatment and that Baekhyun is needed elsewhere yet again.

"Here, all done," the paramedic says, throwing the used pads into trash and the now-dirty cloth into the box with used supplies that will need washing before they can be used again. "I'll change the bandages tomorrow in the morning, but until then you can't walk and put pressure on the leg because the cuts are fresh and might start to bleed, understood?" Baekhyun asks, and when the soldier nods silently, he adds, "The nurse will take care of you now."

"Thank you," the man's words are simple, nothing special, but Baekhyun can see the gratitude in his eyes clearly, and he smiles before turning away and leaving without glancing back, another person in need waiting for him already at the other side of the tent. There is no time to waste, every second being important during the times of war when people are dying and being injured left and right.

As he speed-walks through the large tent, Baekhyun hears screams of pain, curses, loud cries, commands from the medic staff and even far-away gunshots, all blending together and creating the most miserable symphony. Ever since the Korean war started, this noise of doom has become part of Baekhyun's everyday life once again, much like many others', accompanying him everywhere he goes from the moment he opens his eyes. However, there are times when the sounds of someone screaming or crying come to him in his sleep as well, turning his what-could-be-a-peaceful dream into yet another nightmare, as if the reality isn't cruel enough already, as if it is such a crime to want to run away from the real world and let himself be momentarily sucked into a sweet, painless fantasy.

When Baekhyun decided that he wants to become a doctor all these years ago, wishing to save people and help them, he certainly didn't have this in mind. He imagined working in a local hospital, taking care of as many people as possible and hopefully helping them get better. However, his little dream about working in a small hospital had become just an unreachable fantasy after the Second World War started in 1939, and Baekhyun's whole family was shipped off to Japan - his mother becoming a part of medical forces while his father became a soldier. Baekhyun, being a mere eight-year-old at that time, couldn't do much and so, he became a helper in medical tents alongside his mother, educating himself along the way during the war throughout the years.

Unfortunately, only Baekhyun and his father had survived the Second World War, being able to return back to their home in South Korea, now free of Japanese rule. For five years, their life was as calm as it could be, but the hell broke loose yet again when the Korean war started, sucking both of them into the world full of death and weapons, this time Baekhyun being an educated paramedic and his father a respectable general.

It would be right to say that Baekhyun spent a big part of his life participating in a war, but he has never gotten used to the atmosphere of it, or to how things are in general; he has never gotten used to seeing people so gravely injured so many times a day.

As a proof of his thought process, Baekhyun's stomach turns uncomfortably when he sees a man lying on bed just a few feet away from him, breathing heavily and holding his bleeding arm with pained expression. Even though the sight is all too familiar - and even better than most of what he sees every single day - Baekhyun just can't stay unaffected.

"Baekhyun!" a nurse calls for him loud enough to be heard through the noise, and the said-man turns around, eyes searching for the girl. However, he doesn't have to look around for long to locate her, since the nurse is right in front of him in a second, almost knocking the paramedic down as she practically crashes into him, taking a hold of his arm and shaking with it frantically. Her eyes are wide and expression alarmed, just like her voice when she says, "There is a man dying in the back, and he refuses to be treated by anybody who isn't you!"

"What?" Baekhyun asks, brows furrowed in confusion.

"I have no time for explaining, you just need to go," the nurse starts dragging Baekhyun away and the man follows obediently, still trying to process what's going on. There is a man who is dying but still refuses to be treated unless the one giving him the medical treatment is Baekhyun? There is no way it could be true. Right now, the man's first concern should be staying alive, right? No matter how weird it seems to Baekhyun though, the man doesn't protest as he's being led to his next patient. He only asks about the soldier's injuries so he knows what he's dealing with, to which the nurse's response is, "He's been shot two times - in the right arm and in right part of abdomen - and he's bleeding too much. The bullet that hit his abdomen is still inside of his body."

"Have you tried to stop the bleeding?" Baekhyun asks, knowing very well that gunshots to the abdomen could be fatal if they hit an important blood vessel or one of the major organs. If the person shot doesn't die because of the loss of blood, there is a high chance that the infection could spread and infect the body if the wound is not treated quickly enough.

"He won't let us!" she exclaims, clearly frustrated. "He just kept asking about you, and when I tried to touch him, he would start thrashing around. Since I didn't want him to injure himself more, I decided to get you."

Just as the nurse is done talking, they stop in front of a bed at the very end of the tent where the wounded soldier is lying, and Baekhyun quickly scans the man's face. He thought fleetingly that the reason the soldier wanted to see Baekhyun and be treated by him only could be because he knew Baekhyun personally and trusted him, but Baekhyun is sure that they have never seen each other before, the man's face completely unfamiliar. Besides finding out that he certainly doesn't know this soldier, Baekhyun also notices how young the man - the boy - is, certainly not older than eighteen. It makes his heart hurt to see a person who is so young wasting their life away in a war.

"I'm leaving him in your care," the nurse tells him, but Baekhyun isn't really listening to her anymore as he hurries over to the soldier, immediately inspecting the wound on his abdomen and paying it way more attention than the other gunshot on his arm, since the injury that could be possibly fatal should be treated first.

The nurse was right, the soldier is indeed losing a lot of blood, and Baekhyun doesn't wait another second before he puts pressure on the wound after taking a clean cloth from the side table, attempting to stop the bleeding. His patient hisses in pain but doesn't push Baekhyun away like he did with the nurse from before, and instead he lies rather calmly on the bed, letting Baekhyun do his job. He is sure that the boy is staring at him, because he can feel the intensity of the gaze, but Baekhyun doesn't look up to see for himself, focusing on the treatment instead.

By now, the paramedic is sure that the bullet must have hit a major organ, and he starts to panic because there is not much he can do, the soldier's fate already more-or-less decided unless a miracle happens. But Baekhyun cannot just say that to the boy, can he? Besides, he has to at least try his best before giving up on the boy's life. There must be something Baekhyun can do to save him, right? First things first though, stopping the bleeding is the most important thing right now.

Calming down after realizing that panic won't solve anything, Baekhyun thinks about what can be done. However, after going through all of the possibilities in his mind quickly, the paramedic feels his heart falling into a black abyss; there is no way to help the soldier. One thing is stopping the bleeding, but then what? Since the bullet has seemingly hit a major organ or a big vessel, pulling it out would be fatal because it would only cause a more intense bleeding. On the other hand, leaving the bullet inside of the body wouldn't do any good either, since it's very probable that the infection would spread and kill the patient slowly.

What should he do?

Baekhyun is pulled out of his thought when the soldier speaks up, voice quiet and strained, "You don't have to try, I'm going to die anyway."

The words shock Baekhyun utterly, and he finds himself averting his gaze from the injury at last, locking his eyes with the soldier's right away. The boy's face is sweaty and his bangs are sticking to his forehead, eyes tired as he holds eye-contact with Baekhyun. Baekhyun can read the soldier's expression perfectly, not seeing it for the first time, and he feels a familiar, painful pang in his chest because this expression means only one thing - that the boy in front of him has already given up on his life, and he is content with the idea of him dying soon.

But Baekhyun isn't having that.

"You don't know that," the paramedic says, returning the soldier's gaze with fire in his eyes. Not seeing any hint of will to live in a soul so young makes Baekhyun depressed, even though it's by far not the first time he has seen a person who has given up on their life completely when being in a situation similar to this one, not even wanting to try and fight anymore. Honestly, after seeing so many people choosing dying over living, Baekhyun doesn't know if it makes him want to stay alive that much more, or if it's breaking him little by little.

"Then, am I going to live?" the boy asks, raising his brows slightly. The action isn't supposed to be mocking in any way, although it might look that way. "Are you going to save me?"

"I'm going to try, but you need to be willing to stay alive for that," Baekhyun tells him, still determined to find a way to keep the soldier alive. "Don't you have anyone you want to live for, if it isn't for yourself?"

Chuckling humorlessly, the boy answers Baekhyun in a quiet voice, "Everyone is dead." These three words are enough to make the soldier's eyes well up with tears in just a few short seconds, and Baekhyun wants to take the question back so badly, seeing that it has only caused more damage. "My family, my friends... they are all dead. I don't have anyone here anymore."

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun averts his gaze, since it's suddenly too hard to keep eye-contact with his patient. He can't help but feel guilty for asking that question, even though he certainly didn't aim to hurt the boy. Baekhyun just wanted to motivate the soldier to keep on fighting, but he has only made it worse. Gripping the cloth in his hand tighter as he desperately tries to stop the bleeding, Baekhyun presses his lips together in a straight line, biting the insides of his cheeks. _Just stop talking and do your job instead_ , Baekhyun tells himself, forbidding himself to talk - this way, he won’t be able to embarrass himself further.

The boy must have noticed the way Baekhyun became hesitant to say anything more, because it's only a few seconds later that he speaks up again, voice raspy and quiet, a gentle, small smile playing on his lips, "Aren't you curious why I wanted you especially to come?"

Honestly, Baekhyun had forgotten about it completely and remembered it only when it was mentioned just now, putting all of his effort into keeping the boy alive rather than thinking about why it was Baekhyun the soldier had requested. Baekhyun might be a little curious, but it's the least of his concern right now when the boy's face is getting paler and paler with every passing second, blood flowing out of the wound on his abdomen and coloring the previously white cloth in dark red.

Cursing, Baekhyun takes another cloth into his hand and puts it on the top of the already-blooded one, panic starting to rise in his gut again. His hands begin to tremble slightly as well as he continues to put pressure on the wound, ignoring the fact that it just isn't working. Baekhyun has never been the kind of person that knows how to give up, even though the evidence provided would be clearly against him. He just can't give up, not when someone's life is in his hands, not when-

Suddenly, Baekhyun feels a light, cold touch on the top of his hand, and he looks up in shock just to see the boy looking directly at him, staring into his eyes while squeezing his hand slightly, using the last bits of his strength. The message is clear, the silent _it's okay_ more than loud enough, but Baekhyun still feels like he has failed, like he hasn't done enough.

"Everyone talks about you," the young soldier starts, his tone gentle and voice even quieter than before. It's obvious that he's having a hard time speaking, but he still seems determined to tell Baekhyun some things before passing away and so, the paramedic listens closely to every word, "People who were in your care just for a moment, they all talk about how great you are... They talk about you so much that I would actually start to get annoyed," he pauses, a small, bittersweet smile finding its way to his face before he continues, "But then you saved my brother, and when he came back all healed, he started talking about you as well. He told me that after opening his eyes and seeing you hovering over him, he thought he was in heaven because you looked like an angel - beautiful face and pretty blue eyes, he said. And he was right, indeed."

Baekhyun averts his gaze in shame when his eyes are mentioned, feeling a painful pang in his chest. He knows it was meant as a compliment, it always is, but Baekhyun somehow can appreciate it or be thankful for it, since his hatred for his eyes is much bigger than the gratitude he should feel. If he could, he would get rid of his blue orbs at any given moment, no matter how strange it may sound to someone.

People don't understand his struggle, always saying something along the lines of _But why?They are so beautiful and unique_ or _You should treasure them instead of hating them_. They always praise the spectacular ocean blue color of his eyes without knowing the tiniest thing about how many problems have these eyes caused Baekhyun, admiring how pretty they are in contrast to Baekhyun's dark, black hair. And Baekhyun doesn't blame them, definitely not; after all, how could they know about how much of a curse these eyes are, right?

Not many people know that Byun Baekhyun is not the biological son of his father, one of the most respectable generals in South Korea. Not many people know that Baekhyun's mother had Baekhyun with someone that certainly wasn't her husband, since her husband, she, nor any member of both families had ever had blue eyes. Not many people know that since he was young, people have been looking at him with judgement, sometimes even calling him names as if it was his fault that his mother had been unfaithful. And then, only a handful of people know that out of all people that looked at Baekhyun through their fingers, it was Baekhyun's own father who judged him the most, hating him to the core, because no matter what Baekhyun accomplished or how smart he was, it could never compensate with the fact that Baekhyun wasn't his.

His eyes are the reason why so many people made his life a living hell when he was younger, the reason why his father never loved him. They might look aesthetically pleasing, unique and beautiful as people like to call them, but they brought Baekhyun so much pain that he just can't come to love them.

However, he can't just pull them out of his head and switch them for a pair of brown, dark eyes that a big majority of the people in this part of the world have, and thus he has to live with them for the rest of his life whether he likes it or not, collecting compliments at least twice a day for something that he hates with his whole soul.

"I don't care about dying... not anymore," the soldier continues. "I just wanted to thank you in person for saving my brother before I follow him to the other side. You had given him extra ten days to live, for which I'll be forever grateful," by now, the boy's voice is barely audible and his breathing is getting slower, his chest heaving and falling with much difficulty. He is looking at Baekhyun through half-lidded eyes, keeping them open only thanks to his strong will, and the grip on the paramedic's hand is barely even there. "So, thank you, Byun Baekhyun. I hope life will treat you kindly."

Saying that, the corners of the soldier's lips are tugged upwards the tiniest bit, forming a small smile. As if on cue, Baekhyun's eyes water in a speed of light, and the first salty tears roll down his cheeks not even a second later, mixing with the boy's blood as they fall on their hands. Baekhyun feels a dull pain torturing him from inside, and despite not wanting to cry, the tears just keep flowing without stopping. It's been a long time since he cried for the last time, but the boy's speech and that small smile at the end was just what was needed to make Baekhyun's wall crumble like a house of cards.

Baekhyun can't even get one word out, slowly watching as the soldier's eyes flutter shut, his chest heaving for the last time before it falls down and stays like that for good, the grip on Baekhyun's hand now completely gone. The noise in the background is all blurred as the words said to him repeat in his head over and over again, and Baekhyun has to bite into his trembling, lower lip to stop himself from letting out a sob upon the realization that the young soldier has truly died, and that his last words were meant for Baekhyun only.

There is a light tap on his shoulder, but Baekhyun doesn't react all, his eyes trained on the boy's now-peaceful face. It's not the first time he saw someone dying, but Baekhyun just can't get used to it no matter how much he tries. Many people die every day because of the raging war, and at least one fourth of them dies right in front of the paramedic's eyes after being brought here to get medical treatment, but even that doesn't make it any easier for Baekhyun to watch someone exhaling for the last time before passing away.

So many people have died already, and even more will die today, tomorrow, and so on. Some young, some old. Some with lovers, some already with families of their own. In a war, these things don't matter at all though, because in the end everyone is just a part of everyday statistics - the young soldier who has died a minute ago too. The boy will be just one of the many soldiers that didn't survive, but that's it. Nobody will care about him specifically, and he will be just another person adding up the number of deaths.

The truth of Baekhyun's thoughts is proven just a second later when the nurse that has been impatiently tapping on his shoulder for a while now asks the paramedic to step away already because the corpse has to be moved over to the rest in order to make space for other people who need help. It sounds so morbid, making Baekhyun's heart twist in distaste at the wording, but he knows there is no other way to phrase it. While Baekhyun ponders about the cruel times that the war brings and the worth of thousands of extinguished lives, his thought process triggered by the young soldier's death, there are others in a need of help that Baekhyun should provide as a part of the medic forces. He can't waste time in his own little world.

And so, Baekhyun steps aside as requested, slowly pulling away his hand from where it's lying under the boy's cold one. He glances at the young soldier's face briefly before averting his gaze to the ground, looking at his hands that are covered in blood, a sight so familiar yet still as horrible as for the first time. Baekhyun can't get used to many things that come with the war, and one of them is definitely having his hands covered in the crimson-colored liquid so many times a day.

He must have unconsciously stared at his palms for some time, because the nurse notices that something's going on with him. Sighing, she says, "Go rest for a while. You haven't slept for more than five hours for two days now, it's not doing you any good."

Baekhyun wants to say that sleep deprivation is something that bothers him the least, but instead he just shakes his head and reaches for the tissues on the small side-table, replying with something less bitter while getting rid of the blood that's making him feel uneasy, "I'm alright, I don't need to rest right now."

"You do," she insists. "Take at least a one-hour nap."

"People are dying, how can I just peacefully go to sleep in the meantime?" Baekhyun asks, his eyes falling on the dead body of the young boy momentarily. He can't simply take a nap when there are people needing treatment, needing to be saved. They don't have time as it is, with Baekhyun being gone it'll be even harder to give medical attention to as many wounded soldiers as needed. Besides, would he be able to fall asleep with his thoughts haunting him, anyway?

"We can do one hour without you. We must," she tells Baekhyun with all seriousness. "If you don't have enough sleep - or have even less than now - there is a possibility of you fainting, which would definitely be worse than having to manage one hour without you."

"But-"

"Baekhyun, go."

In the end, Baekhyun listens. Not because he wants to, but because he is literally pushed into the bed and wrapped in blankets by the nurse who whispers, "Nothing much will happen in only sixty minutes, anyway," before leaving him alone.

Despite what Baekhyun thought, it takes him only five minutes to fall asleep.

  
  
  
  


_"C'mon, Baek!" one of his classmates throws an arm around his shoulders, leading him to the small podium while others cheer from behind. "You are the only one in our class that can sing! We have to win the competition!"_

_"I can't sing!" Baekhyun protests, trying to pry his classmate's arm off. It's of no use though, and Baekhyun is dragged to the small, wooden stage anyway, left alone in the middle of it a second later. His classmates are gone immediately, and Baekhyun feels anxiety bubbling in the pit of his stomach as he stands there alone, the whole school looking at him with anticipation. At this moment, Baekhyun wishes he stayed at home today, skipping the yearly school festival. That way, he wouldn't have to sing in front of everyone to assure the class' first place in the competition, even though he can't sing at all._

_"I-I don't even know what to sing," Baekhyun says to his teacher who is standing in the first row, voice trembling. The teacher smiles at him kindly and tells him to sing his favorite song, which doesn't really help, to be honest. However, her smile is so soothing that Baekhyun calms down a little, nodding slightly. He glances at his audience nervously, small eyes jumping from one person to another until he makes eye-contact with his best friend who gifts him with a wide grin and thumbs up, mouthing_ you can do it _encouragingly. Somehow, Baekhyun's anxiety reduces when he sees the way Sehun supports him, and after gulping down the lump in his throat, Baekhyun starts to sing._

_He decides for a song his mother keeps singing while cooking, because it has a nice melody and it's easy to sing, without any high notes that Baekhyun would have trouble hitting. Plus, Baekhyun has the words engraved in his mind from how many times he has heard it already, so there is no way he would get the lyrics wrong._

_At first, he has a lot of questions swirling in his head, thousands of worries accompanying them. Does everyone hear me good enough? Do I sound alright? Are they whispering things about me? Baekhyun keeps asking himself, but he is afraid to look up from the ground and find the answers himself. And so, he continues singing without changing anything, hoping that it's loud enough and that he sounds at least okay. The song isn't that long anyway, so if it's bad, nobody's ears will be tortured for more than another minute._

_Soon, he finishes, bowing a little right after and looking up hesitantly, afraid of the reactions. Panic seizes his heart when everyone is just silently looking at him, a complete silence in the room, and Baekhyun immediately looks for Sehun in the crowd of people, needing some anchor so he won't have a mental break down right here and now. When Sehun's and his eyes meet, Sehun smiles at him once again and starts clapping with enthusiasm, screaming Baekhyun's name embarrassingly loudly, causing Baekhyun to blush._

_What's shocking though, is that others slowly join Sehun, clapping and cheering along. It takes Baekhyun by surprise, the boy surely not expecting this kind of positive feedback for his crappy performance. With wide eyes, he stares at the cheering audience, not knowing if he's dreaming or not. He can't help but smile widely when different versions of_ it was amazing _and_ so great _reach his ears, his blush getting more vibrant with every compliment._

_He opens his mouth to thank everyone, but weirdly enough, no words fall out of his mouth._

_Baekhyun frowns, trying to speak again, but to no avail. No sound comes, and Baekhyun looks like a gaping fish, unable to talk. Fear wraps around his heart and he quickly jumps down from the podium, running to his teacher. He reaches his hand out to touch her, but his hand doesn't come into contact with her; instead, it goes through her as if she was a ghost. Scared, Baekhyun jumps back and looks up at her face, finding out that she isn't even looking at him and that she is only mindlessly staring into distance while clapping automatically. When he chances to glance at the others, Baekhyun sees that everyone looks the same as his teacher, not paying Baekhyun any attention as he frantically looks around._

_It's a sight too terrifying for such a young boy, but what's more terrifying is that he can't even scream for help, destined to fight this surreal situation all alone. However, then Baekhyun remembers that somewhere in the crowd is his best friend and thinking that Sehun will surely help him, he starts running in the direction where he thinks Sehun is._

_There are tears in Baekhyun's eyes, caused by how scared he is upon the realization that he can just freely walk through every person as if they weren't there at all, and his heartbeat gets dangerously faster. Baekhyun swears that he can hear it in his ears as he runs through the crowd, searching for Sehun in distress._

_He finds his friend a few seconds later and fortunately, Sehun isn't following others' suit and is instead looking directly at Baekhyun, a small, gentle smile on his lips. Sighing in relief and wiping the tears away from his face, Baekhyun stops when he sees Sehun, feeling like there is nothing to be afraid of as long as his best friend is here, seemingly alright._

_Baekhyun is ready to call Sehun's name even though he fears that the outcome would be the same, but then a loud gunshot is heard from somewhere in the distance, and Sehun falls to the ground a second later. Baekhyun watches with horror in his eyes as blood starts flowing out of the wound on Sehun's forehead, and when he screams this time, it is loud and clear, Baekhyun finally finding his voice. Immediately, he runs to Sehun and falls to his knees by the boy's motionless body, cradling his best friend in his arms as tears fall down his cheeks._

_"Help, please help!" Baekhyun continues screaming, shaking Sehun in his arms desperately. "Please help him!"_

_When he looks up to see if someone has heard his call for help, Baekhyun freezes on spot when he finds out that nobody is in the room; it's just him and Sehun there, and it's too quiet for Baekhyun's liking. In panic, Baekhyun cranes his neck to look behind his shoulder in hope that someone could be there, but the moment he turns around he almost gets a heart attack, another scream fighting its way out of his mouth when his gaze falls on a person whose eyes are missing, the face of said person just a millimeter away from Baekhyun's._

_Before he can do anything, the person pushes him and Baekhyun tumbles forward, but instead of hitting the ground with his body, he starts falling into a seemingly endless abyss, Sehun nowhere to be seen. The falling makes Baekhyun feel like choking, and he helplessly tries to inhale some oxygen into his lungs, but fails miserably. Luckily for him, it doesn't take long before he hits the bottom of the pit, surprisingly not feeling any pain in the process. He doesn't think he is physically hurt, but he still doesn't feel like getting up._

_However, that soon changes when a way too familiar voice reaches his ears, and Baekhyun strings up to a sitting position right away, wide eyes scanning the new, unfamiliar surroundings. Suddenly, the voice is no longer audible, everything becoming silent again as if on cue._

_Baekhyun finds himself sitting on a dirty ground in a large tent, and there are two long rows of simple-looking beds on each side. They are all empty; in fact, the whole tent is empty, Baekhyun being the only one here. It's quiet, the same kind of quiet like a moment before, and fearing that there is another creepy person behind him, Baekhyun gets to his feet and speed-walks through the tent without looking behind his shoulder. His legs are wobbly as he walks, but Baekhyun doesn't care and just continues going forward without stopping, trying to get to the end of the seemingly endless tent as fast as possible, hoping that something good waits for him there._

_Out of blue, the voice Baekhyun has heard before pierces the air, echoing. Immediately, Baekhyun stops in his tracks despite his promise to never stop walking, and he focuses on the melody of the song the person is singing in the distance. It's familiar, way too familiar, and Baekhyun feels panic enveloping him._

No, it can't be _, Baekhyun thinks, eyes wide upon the realization of whom the voice belongs to._

_It's his own voice. More mature, but definitely his own, singing a Japanese song._

_Baekhyun starts running again, passing hundreds of empty beds and following the singing voice, not believing that it could really be his. After running for a while, his legs moving fast like never before, Baekhyun sees something in the distance; more specifically, he sees a person standing by one of the beds, this one bed in particular occupied by someone. Slowing down, Baekhyun tries to focus his vision in order to make out the identity of the two people without having to get too close, afraid that they would hurt him._

_Stopping completely a few meters away from them, Baekhyun's heart drops to his stomach when he realizes who the people are._

_It indeed is him singing... to his mother, who is slowly but surely dying on the mentioned bed._

_He starts running toward the two people again, but when he is close enough to reach his hand out and touch his mother, his mother and the older-version of himself disappears, and Baekhyun is left alone again. It's only a second later that the tent catches fire, the flames everywhere around him, blood-curdling cries and screams filling Baekhyun's ears._

_Falling to his knees, Baekhyun starts crying as he covers his ears in hope of muting the screams, repeating, "No, no, no," over and over again._

Opening his eyes, Baekhyun sits up right away, clutching at his chest as he breathes heavily, heart beating dangerously fast. His bangs are plastered to his forehead because of the sweat, and he feels strangely uncomfortable in his own body, even questioning if it's really his. To be honest, Baekhyun isn't even sure if he is truly awake now or if this is just another nightmare, since he can still hear the same, horrible screams and cries of people as in his dream.

At first, Baekhyun thinks it's just his mind still being stuck in the horrible nightmare, but when he looks around himself, he is proven wrong.

From what Baekhyun can see through the open entrance of the tent, everything is on fire, people running in all directions. Gunshots are heard as well as the screams, and Baekhyun panics yet again, immediately getting to his feet. His head spins a little as he does that, and for a few seconds Baekhyun just stands there, holding onto the bed while waiting for his vision to clear itself again. When he is alright again, Baekhyun runs out of the tent as quickly as possible, not wanting to believe that the last part of his dream wasn't just a dream.

Before he can fully grasp what's going on, some person points a finger directly at him, yelling, "That's him! Quickly catch him before he tries to escape!"

Baekhyun doesn't really have time to react - or flee, for that matter - before another person comes out of nowhere and grabs both of his hands, pushing him down on his knees mercilessly. "Wha-" Baekhyun tries saying, but he doesn't get to finish his sentence before someone hits him in the temple, causing him to lose consciousness.

As Baekhyun's vision starts fading, the last thing he sees before his eyelids fall shut is the nurse that made him go to sleep, the girl lying on the ground motionlessly, her throat slit and eyes wide open, no hint of life left in them.

_Sempteber 1950, Hyesan_

"Is everything understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Chanyeol answers right away, bowing deeply after he is dismissed a second later. Straightening up, he makes his way towards the exit of the room, briefly eyeing the guards that are standing outside. Both of them are looking at Chanyeol in distaste, and it doesn't take much to understand why - after all, Chanyeol practically snatched the job away from them. Chanyeol, in all honesty, isn't the least bit sorry for snatching the special position away from them.

Gifting the two guards with a subtle smirk, Chanyeol walks away from the building, feeling like he accomplished something by getting assigned for the job that is said to be a very big deal - or at least that's what the general implied. Chanyeol can only guess by the little his supervisor said though, since not a lot of information was given to him. However, the small amount of information that Chanyeol possesses is still much more than what the ninety-nine percent of the whole unit in this camp could wish for, and that should be enough for now.

But somehow, it isn't, not for Chanyeol. Of course, he can't simply pry and ask the general for more - because that's honestly the same as asking for punishment for disrespecting his supervisor - but Chanyeol would lie if he said that he isn't curious about the mysterious prisoner that is going to be put under his care. Yes, he has gotten a list of duties and exact times for when he has to do every one of them, but there is very little Chanyeol knows about the actual South Korean prisoner. The soldier's only knowledge about the person he is going to be watching over is that it's someone very important who has to be kept alive, that he is male and quite young, and that he could be a key to defeating South Korea, but that's it. Chanyeol doesn't even know the name or exact age of the guy, nothing. And it's truly stressing him out.

That aside, Chanyeol is glad about getting the job instead of that two assholes whom he completely hates, because it means that he doesn't have to be on the battlefield. It's not like Chanyeol is afraid to be killed or something similar to it, certainly not, because he isn't afraid of dying. Chanyeol will fight to keep himself alive, but if he has to die, he isn't afraid. He just wants to die for a good cause.

There are other reasons why he is - let's say - happy about not having to be on the fronts and be on a guard duty for the upcoming weeks instead, and both of those reasons could be possibly considered bad in the eyes of North Korean citizens who are fighting for their country in this war, for the country's ideals and beliefs.

Firstly, Chanyeol won't have to kill or hurt anyone anymore.

And secondly, he won't have to fight for something he doesn't entirely agree with.

He hides these two thoughts deeply in his mind, knowing that if just one of them got out, it would be Chanyeol's end. There are strict rules in North Korea, and people here don't have mercy with those who disobey. After all, the rules are pretty easy, and there are not too many of them as well, big part of them basically having the same meaning.

Long story short, Chanyeol, as a North Korean soldier or just a citizen in general, can't question their leader and can't have mercy with those who disagree with the said leader even in the slightest - that is, if he doesn't want to end as badly as them. Their leader is absolute, and he knows what's best for all of them, so questioning him is like questioning higher powers - and is punished by worse things than death. That's why nobody dares to go against what their leader says, afraid to voice out their doubts in a fear that a cruel fate would await them.

Chanyeol, too, is one of those people who are scared beyond belief to speak up about any uncertainty about their leader's actions or decisions, carrying those doubts in his mind without ever planning to reveal them to another person because there is high chance that the person he talks to about his thoughts would tell everything to their supervisors, and Chanyeol would end up dead if he is lucky, tortured for the rest of his life if he is not. Voicing his thoughts isn't exactly worth it, especially when Chanyeol is aware that it wouldn't change anything.

And so, Chanyeol pretends to be thrilled to get the job of watching over the South Korean prisoner because this way he doesn't have to participate in the war directly and possibly get himself killed in the process, and not because he doesn't have to kill any more people and fight for, in his opinion, the wrong cause.

  
  


It's two hours later when Chanyeol finally meets the prisoner.

He's been waiting for a few minutes next to the open door of the cell, just lazily leaning against the wall when the entrance door to the small building opened, three people entering. Two of them are guards - the exact same who are most likely still bitter about not getting Chanyeol's job, if their expressions are anything to go by - and between them is a short male, dressed in some old-looking, grey long-sleeved shirt that is obviously too big for him and black, long pants with small holes in them. His feet are bare and dirty, completely unshielded from the biting cold of early-September night.

He looks too tiny in the hands of these two tall guards that are, unlike him, dressed appropriately for the weather.

Chanyeol barely greets his comrades with a slight bow of his head, to which one of the assholes immediately reacts, "Can't even greet us properly?" he chuckles as the three of them move forward after closing the main door with a kick. "You really know how to respect your elders, Park."

Rolling his eyes in a not exactly subtly manner, Chanyeol moves away from the wall and straightens up, opening his mouth to retort something back, the words that are already on his tongue eager to be let out. However, in the end, Chanyeol says nothing and only gapes like a fish when the boy looks up from the ground for the first time upon hearing the guards talking to someone new, Chanyeol's and his eyes meeting as he does so. There are so many things that take Chanyeol by surprise all at once when he sees the male's face, and it leaves him with his mind completely blank for a second before thoughts start swirling in his head furiously, creating one big mess.

Realizing that he must look stupid with his mouth slightly open, Chanyeol is quick to close it again. He swallows, gulping down the hostile words that he was ready to utter at the fellow soldiers, suddenly not caring about the two assholes as he stares into the prisoner's eyes, everything else around just one big, unimportant blur.

The boy's eyes are the most beautiful thing Chanyeol has seen in his entire life. Truly, he isn't exaggerating at all, not a spark of doubt in his thoughts.

His eyes are blue, but not just an ordinary shade of blue, no. It's mixed with light green, creating a breathtaking turquoise color that shines bright even in the poor lightning of the narrow hall. It's such a contrast to his dark, black hair, and it makes those unique orbs stand out so much more, like a light dot in the endless pitch black sea. They are so attention-catching that Chanyeol simply can't look away for a while, holding the eye-contact like his life depends on it.

"He's a pretty little thing, right?" one of his comrades, Woohyun, says with a chuckle when they stop in front of Chanyeol, and just then Chanyeol breaks out of his trance, blinking a few times before he averts his gaze from those entrancing eyes and looks up at Woohyun. The man is sporting such a cocky expression that it makes Chanyeol feel uneasy, especially after a devil-like smile forms on Woohyun's lips the exact moment he moves his hand and tangles it into the boy's hair, tugging at it so hard that the tiny prisoner lets out a painted exhale. It seems to be exactly what Woohyun wanted to hear, and he and his friend laugh as the boy whimpers, sharing an amused glance.

Chanyeol is disgusted by the two of them, by how much they enjoy hurting other people.

Not being able to keep looking at the entertained faces of these two assholes, Chanyeol decides to lower his eyes again and let them scan the prisoner's face instead. He finds out that not only the boy's eyes are beautiful, but also their owner.

Before, Chanyeol only focused on the prisoner's blue orbs, but now when he focuses on his whole face, Chanyeol has to say that the boy is truly a masterpiece. His features are soft, lips thin and pinkish with a unique shape, and his hair is falling into his small, droopy, entrancing eyes in a lazy fashion, effortlessly adding to the boy's charm. Indeed, he is pretty. But he also looks very young... innocent even.

"Let go of him," Chanyeol says, finally deciding to put a stop to Woohyun's playing, voice stern. "He should not be harmed, as far as I know. And you two shouldn't be here, too, so if you could just..." trailing off, Chanyeol glances at both of them, hoping that they will get the message and leave already. The general wouldn't be too glad to hear that his two favorite minions are wasting their time in a place they shouldn't be at. As of now, only Chanyeol can spend his time here.

"You're no fun," the other soldier, Heojoon, rolls his eyes, but in the end tells Woohyun to let go of the prisoner, saying that they have more important things to do than to waste their time here. Chanyeol can only scoff because he can totally imagine what these better things are - doing completely nothing just because they can - but he is still glad that they are going to be gone in a minute.

Woohyun lets go of the boy's hair at last, but of course he can't just disappear like he was kindly asked to, no. He has to entertain himself for the last time before he leaves, and his entertainment includes throwing the prisoner into the cell as harshly as possible, the poor boy tripping over his own feet in the process and falling to the ground with another pained whimper, which causes another wave of amusement to wash over both Woohyun and Heojoon.

Their laughing only reminds Chanyeol of how much he really hates them; with his entire being, without doubt. They are so... cruel and sadistic and fucking disgusting. Who even enjoys hurting other people as much as those two? It makes him want to throw up - preferably at them.

"Was this necessary?" Chanyeol can't help but ask, glaring at both of them wholeheartedly. It makes his skin crawl, the way they are so ruthless, especially when the boy did nothing wrong. He could accept such behavior on battlefield, since they are fighting not only for the country but also for their life and they ought to have no mercy if they want to survive, but this... the boy was barely standing before they threw him on the ground, this was just them stupidly showing off their power.

"Definitely was," Heojoon says smugly as he turns to leave, dragging Woohyun along with him. They laugh on their way to the entrance door of the building, not sparing Chanyeol another glance before they walk out and shut the door loudly behind them, their voices fading away.

When they are gone, the silence in the air is pierced only by the prisoner's ragged breathing, and Chanyeol turns away from the door in order to look at the boy. The moment his eyes fall on the tiny person dejectedly sitting on the floor his heart clenches painfully, and even though Chanyeol knows he shouldn't feel bad for prisoners, shouldn't feel bad for people from South because they are enemies, he can't help it. It's impossible for Chanyeol not to feel pity for someone whose freedom has been taken away in such a crude way though, especially when according to the general the boy is imprisoned just because they need to trade him for information, but he himself has done nothing wrong.

It's so unfair, Chanyeol thinks.

The prisoner looks up from where he is sitting on the floor then, most likely feeling the intensity of Chanyeol's gaze on him, and when their eyes meet, the soldier feels another invisible arrow impaling his heart, cutting in deep.

Until now, Chanyeol only admired those unique orbs and didn't bother to actually look past the superficial beauty, but now when he is staring deeply into them, he can easily see the fear in the boy's eyes, so raw and crystal clear. The poor thing is scared out of his life, worrying his lower lip with his teeth while looking at Chanyeol so, so warily, as if Chanyeol was about to hurt him any time now. It's obvious that he considers the tall soldier towering above him a possible danger, the terror in his eyes enough of an indication, and while Chanyeol understands his fears completely, he can't help but dislike the fact that the boy is thinking of him as someone he should be afraid of.

Chanyeol is different from the soldiers around here; he hates violence, even more when innocent people are harmed. If it was up to him, he would never hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it, and this fragile-looking boy who is watching him cautiously with wide, scared eyes doesn't seem to be deserving of cruel treatment of any kind.

With the intention to assure the boy that Chanyeol isn't going to hurt him, the soldier takes a small step toward him and with the most gentle tone he can muster, he says, "Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you."

The prisoner flinches and tenses visibly when Chanyeol gets closer to him anyway, as if he didn't hear anything of what was said to him merely a second ago, his eyes widening even more. It seems that Chanyeol's words didn't help at all, the poor thing looking way more frightened than before, but Chanyeol can't really say that he is surprised. If he were the one imprisoned, he would most likely not believe to what his captor is saying either, especially not after being treated so badly by Chanyeol's comrades.

Sighing, the soldier squats down, thinking that the boy would be less scared if there wasn't a person towering over him with such a menacing height. However, when they are on the same eye-level a moment later, Chanyeol can hear the prisoner's breath hitching and can also see his mouth opening slightly, his lower lip red from how he's been biting on it the whole time.

Being so close to him, the boy seems even more beautiful to Chanyeol, but it's hard to focus on his beauty when all the soldier is able to see is how frightened the poor thing is. His eyes are blown so wide that Chanyeol is afraid they will fall out of his eye-sockets soon, and his lips are trembling ever so slightly the longer Chanyeol just keeps staring at him without saying or doing anything. The silence around them is deafening, as stupid as it sounds, and Chanyeol can feel how scared the prisoner is just by looking at him, by feeling the warmness of the prisoner's uneven breath on his face.

Chanyeol averts his gaze from the blue irises, trailing the boy's face with his eyes, taking in the smooth-looking albeit a little dirty skin and soft features. In the process, he notices a small but still visible bruise on the boy's cheek and catches a glimpse of a bloody wound near his right eyebrow, partly hidden behind the black hair. It doesn't look serious, but Chanyeol still wants to make sure.

He reaches out, wanting to see the injury fully, but the moment he moves his hand, the boy in front of him flinches once again and shuts his eyes tightly, as if he was expecting Chanyeol to hit him.

"I told you," Chanyeol whispers, brushing the boy's hair away gently and examining the wound. Just as he thought, it's nothing serious, just a small cut, but Chanyeol would still feel better if it was cleaned in the near future. Better be safe than sorry, after all. "I'm not going to hurt you."

However, the words fall on deaf ears once again, the boy trembling slightly under Chanyeol's touch instead of calming down even the tiniest bit. Seeing that his presence is not doing the boy any good no matter what he says, the soldier quickly retreats his hand after checking the wound, standing up and taking a step back afterwards. From where he's standing a few feet away, he observes the boy for a few seconds, feeling uneasy at the sight of the young prisoner being scared so much that he is still sitting frozen on the floor with tightly shut eyes, too frightened to move even after Chanyeol has given him space. It makes Chanyeol wonder; what has been done to the boy after he had been captured, who has hurt him so badly that he is now so, so afraid? Or is it the fear of the unknown? Chanyeol can imagine he would be already shitting himself if he were the one in the boy's place.

The orders are that Chanyeol should take the prisoner to wash himself after he is brought here and give him food and water afterwards, looking at the boy now though, Chanyeol isn't sure if it's a good idea to drag him somewhere and make him undress in front of eyes of a complete stranger, whom the boy thinks is dangerous, on the top of that. All that would only terrify the prisoner more, and Chanyeol doesn't want that.

And so, instead of forcing the boy to follow him to the bathroom, Chanyeol says, "If you are tired, get some sleep. I'll bring you another blanket in case you're cold."

Then, the soldier turns around and slowly walks out of the room, leaving some privacy to the boy, hoping it will make him understand that Chanyeol is not dangerous, and won't hurt him, despite what the boy thinks. Before closing the door though, Chanyeol can't help but glance at the prisoner briefly one last time, wanting to see if he is still in the same position with his eyes closed, not relaxing until he is completely alone, or if he has moved at least a little in the meantime.

Chanyeol finds out that the boy hasn't moved, but at least opened his eyes, which is a rather good sign even though it's not much.

Their gazes meet shortly, the blue eyes shining brightly in the dim-lighted room, and Chanyeol finds himself entranced by them yet again, as if it was the first time he is seeing them. Now, however, the boy isn't looking at him in fear, at least not entirely; he is looking at Chanyeol in something akin to shock, or confusion maybe.

If Chanyeol had to be honest, he would say that the boy looks... pitiful. Pitiful, but still so damn beautiful, even in those old clothes and dirt on his face, bare feet covered in dried mud and hair messy. He looks out of this world; frail-looking and young and innocent, with such a pretty face and soft features, shiny eyes lightening up the room more than the shitty light-bulb on the ceiling. He is breathtaking, yes, but he is also broken, misery written all over the beautiful face and sadness swimming in the ocean-like blue eyes.

To Chanyeol, he looks like a fallen angel.

  
  


The bathroom in the building is dirty. Utterly, completely dirty. It looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages, but Chanyeol isn't really shocked, considering that the whole building is in a rather bad condition - apart from the room the prisoner is staying at in the near future; that is rather clear, thank heavens. He wonders why hasn't the general told anyone to take care of other rooms too before the arrival of the prisoner, or why hasn't he told Chanyeol to do it if there wasn't anyone else - which is impossible, since there is always someone for things like that. However, there is no use in pondering about it now, and so Chanyeol lets it go and decides to do it himself.

After getting all the things needed, Chanyeol gets into work. He wipes the floor with a broom first and then cleans it with a wet rag afterwards, his face scrunching up in disgust when he sees how much dirt has piled up. He is hundred percent sure that if he was more precise with the cleaning, he would collect even more filth, but since Chanyeol doesn't really have time right now, he decides that he will perfect it tomorrow and leave it like that for today. It's better than before and that's what counts.

Next on the list are showers, but as Chanyeol inspects them further and spares them more than just a brief glance like he did before, his determination to clean the place starts disappearing slowly. He thought that nothing can be filthier than the floor in the room, but once he focuses on the showers - for real this time - he is proven wrong. Staring at the showers with newfound disgust, Chanyeol doesn't think he can get even half of them done soon enough. Plus, the shitty lighting which is provided by an incredible quantity of two whole light bulbs is not helping at all thanks to their poor positioning on the ceiling, making it hard for Chanyeol to see some parts of the shower.

As if to taunt Chanyeol, one of the light bulbs stops working and he groans loudly, throwing his head back in frustration. _Are you fucking kidding me?_ he questions inside of his head, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself. Fortunately, the light bulb comes back to life again when he opens his eyes a minute later, for which Chanyeol is endlessly grateful even though it flickers every five seconds and is far from working perfectly. Still better than nothing.

Chanyeol really, really doesn't want to clean the showers. His stomach gets upset quite easily, and he isn't sure that it would stay calm if he touched something disgusting while scrubbing off the dirt from the walls, the floor or corners he can't even see properly. By the smell of it, Chanyeol would go as far as saying something died in the third shower, and he is not all too ready to find out. Still, the prisoner needs to wash himself, and Chanyeol is sure as hell not letting the boy step into a shower so disgusting and filthy.

However, even if Chanyeol cleaned the showers, it doesn't seem like a good idea to let the boy wash there, now when he thinks about it more. The boiler isn't connected to showers, only to taps, so the poor thing would most likely freeze if he were to shower under cold water. Chanyeol doesn't feel exactly comfortable with the idea of throwing the prisoner under icy water, especially not when his clothes are so inappropriate for the weather; the boy must feel chilly as it is now.

And then, suddenly, an idea hits him.

"The bathtub," Chanyeol whispers to himself in the quietness of the room, his eyes going wide when he remembers that he saw a bathtub in the other room. He doesn't know why it was there and not in the bathroom where it belongs, but he could truly care less about it now. What's important here is that there is a bathtub, and hopefully it will be less dirty than the showers.

Chanyeol hurries over to the other room, his eyes falling on the bathtub in the corner as he turns the lights on. Quickly, he walks the distance with long steps and inspects the condition of the bathtub, letting out a relieved exhale when he sees that it's not too bad. It is indeed dirty, but not by far as dirty as the showers, and it will be definitely easier to clean, since it can be moved right under the lights in the bathroom. Nodding to himself, Chanyeol starts dragging the bathtub away, cringing at the noise he is causing in the process. His ears are sensitive, always have been, that's why the screeching sounds are a literal torture for him. However, it's better than having to clean the showers, and that fact only is easing the pain his ears are going through right now.

It takes just a short while for Chanyeol to get the bathtub where he wants it, but it takes much longer to actually make it presentable. Cleaning it is one hell of a job, since Chanyeol wants it to be as free of dirt as possible and puts a lot of effort in it, polishing every part of the bathtub to perfection. Chanyeol has never been fond of cleaning, but he wants the prisoner to enjoy the bath a little instead of being disgusted and scared of catching a disease while washing himself or something.

Roughly forty minutes later, the bathtub is as clean as it can be. Chanyeol is kind of sweaty from vigorously scrubbing the surface of the tub with a rather high speed, his hands and arms hurting from how much strength he had to use, but he feels strangely good despite having close to no energy, the feeling warming him up from inside and making his tired muscles more at ease. Maybe it's because the thought of the prisoner possibly relaxing while taking the bath is nice, considering that he has been put in such a harsh environment, treated as if he was not even a human being. The warm bath will be most likely the best part of his day... and his upcoming days.

Doing something good for others feels certainly better than hurting them.

Although the boiler is connected to the tap, it doesn't work perfectly, and the water is either completely hot or completely cold, nothing in-between. And so, Chanyeol pours buckets of hot water inside the tub first, adding cold water afterwards to create a perfect mix. It takes some time until Chanyeol thinks it's good enough, but after extra ten minutes, the bathtub is filled and the temperature seems alright as well, a little bit hotter than it should be but only because he is not sure how much time it will take him to actually get the boy in the bath, considering how frightened the prisoner was when Chanyeol as much as looked at him an hour ago.

Before getting the prisoner, Chanyeol takes away the used rugs, collecting the dirt in them and throwing everything outside in the bin. Then, he goes to the special storage room that only a few people have access to, now including Chanyeol too, and takes a soap from there, some that has a nice, flowery scent, and then the softest towel he can find in this hurry along with simple shoes after remembering that the boy doesn't have any. The size will probably be a bit bigger, but it shouldn't be by much - yes, Chanyeol trusts his instincts.

When he has what he needed, Chanyeol doesn't waste any more time and speed-walks back to the one floor building at the very back of the camp, making sure not to bump into anyone along the way. It's good that both the storage room and the prisoner's building are at the very back and almost nobody is allowed to go there, or Chanyeol would have to explain why is he bringing these things to a building that's supposed to be empty.

Once Chanyeol is back in the bathroom, he puts the towel and the soap on one of the two chairs here, leaving the other empty for the boy to sit on if he wanted to, and the new shoes are put on the ground beside the chairs. Then, he turns to the tub and checks if the water temperature is still alright, nodding to himself when it's still warm enough.

Now... the only thing needed is to bring the prisoner, which will probably be even harder than cleaning the mess here.

Heaving a sigh, Chanyeol straightens up and finds the keys in his pocket, walking through the hall until he stops in front of the metal door. He is strangely nervous, keys feeling heavy in his hands and thoughts a mess. How should he tell the boy to follow him somewhere when the poor thing was so scared before? There is no way he will just stand up and follow Chanyeol, much less undress willingly with Chanyeol in the same room.

When he accepted the offer to watch over the prisoner, Chanyeol never thought it would be so hard. Yes, he could be a brute and not care about the prisoner's mental state in the slightest, but Chanyeol is not that kind of person. He can't mute his sympathy, even though he should, and it is making his job that much harder. Looking into the eyes of a boy who is scared beyond belief because of being at enemy's mercy is much more difficult than Chanyeol expected, truly.

Gulping, Chanyeol puts the key in the lock and turns it, opening the door with a screech. His eyes fall on the boy's body that is curled into itself on bed in the corner of the room, and Chanyeol's heart swells painfully. The prisoner is wrapped in the single blanket that he was provided with, only his eyes popping out - eyes that are looking at Chanyeol with fear, pretty blue irises glistening with tears in dim lighted room. Suddenly, at the sight, Chanyeol's throat dries and the words he hastily prepared while opening the door disappear, just one sentence on his mind – _‘please don't be scared’._

It's a foolish thing to wish for, considering that the boy is alone in the enemy's territory, completely at mercy of someone he doesn't know and can't possibly trust, but the soldier still desperately wants to let the boy know that he isn't going to hurt him. Chanyeol can only begin to imagine how heavily is this constant fear the prisoner has to live with messing with his mentality, and he wants nothing more than to ease this mental pain the boy must be going through because such an innocent being like him doesn't deserve this, being a person that was brought here just because of his relation to someone important and nothing else.

Chanyeol truly feels sorry for him.

"Uhm.. You need to wash yourself," is what Chanyeol gets out of himself in the end, his tone gentle. He doesn't take a step closer to the boy and instead decides to just stand by the door, giving him as much space as possible. "I prepared a bath for you," Chanyeol adds after a few seconds of silence, opening the door further as an invitation when the boy doesn't move at all. However, the small gesture is completely overlooked, and the prisoner just continues to stare at Chanyeol pointedly from under his lashes. "Come on, the water will get cold," taking a step forward, Chanyeol realizes that it wasn't such a good idea upon seeing how the boy straightens his back and visibly tenses, looking at Chanyeol with cautious eyes.

Sighing, Chanyeol wonders what to do. He knew it was going to be difficult, but he didn't really have enough time to think about a plan. He can't simply drag the prisoner out of the blanket cocoon he made for himself and throw him in the bath forcefully - that's out of question - and threatening wouldn't help for sure either, so Chanyeol doesn't even dare trying it out, but what words should he use to make the boy go to the bathroom willingly?

"Look," Chanyeol starts again, deciding to go for honest approach. "I'm not going to hurt you, despite what you might think, because we need you alive and unharmed. I'm not a brute who takes pleasure in beating someone up for no reason either, so I surely wouldn't hit you just for the fun of it. All I'm asking of you is for you to follow me and take a bath, okay? I won't touch you even once," still though, the boy doesn't look all that convinced, and Chanyeol is slowly losing hope. Then, he remembers one thing that could help, "I won't look either, so you don't have to worry about that."

Another silence comes, and Chanyeol uses it to just stare into the boy's eyes, trying to look as sincere as possible. How does one even look sincere is a mystery to Chanyeol, to be honest, but he hopes his expression looks convincing enough because he truly doesn't know what to say or do anymore. Still, the soldier doesn't blame the boy for being this distrusting, nor does he dare feeling angry for the lack of trust the prisoner has in Chanyeol's words. He simply waits, standing by the door with keys dangling in his hand, eyes trained on the boy.

It proves to be a good tactic because after what seemed to Chanyeol like five minutes, the prisoner finally starts breaking out of his cocoon, putting the blanket down on the mattress and slowly throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, standing up carefully. His posture is wary, and when he takes the first few steps toward Chanyeol it's all but confident, understandably, but Chanyeol praises himself for being convincing enough and making the boy believe that he's not going to be hurt him. That's honestly one of the biggest victories in his life.

Stepping out of the room, Chanyeol waits for the boy here, feeling like the more space he gives him, the better. However, him making a move was enough to startle the poor thing, and now the boy has stopped in the middle of the room, his whole body tense and eyes watching the soldier in front of him timidly. Chanyeol wonders if he should continue to stare back or if it's better to look away - is his intense gaze, perhaps, frightening the boy?

Chanyeol decides to ease the prisoner's doubts about being in danger with talking again, seeing that it was exactly what made the tiny male believe him a few minutes ago, "I've also brought shoes for you, you can put them on after the bath. If you want to, I can also get you one more blanket if you'll cold afterwards, or socks. The water should be warm enough but since the weather is changing, you know, you'll maybe get cold."

Talking surely helps, Chanyeol notices, because the prisoner seems to relax more when there is not only deafening silence around them, and soon enough, he starts walking toward the exit of the room again with small steps. Chanyeol waits outside, patiently standing in the narrow hall and giving the boy all the time he needs, trying his best not to look menacing and like a possible danger. He even steps back when the boy is out of the room, only gesturing in the direction of the bathroom and letting the boy walk on his own.

"The bathroom is not exactly in the best shape, but I cleaned the floor, so you don't have to worry about stepping into something disgusting," Chanyeol continues talking, returning every glance that the boy throws over his shoulder while going to the bathroom at the end of the hall. "I hope you like flowery scents, because the soap smells a lot like lilies."

The boy doesn't respond, but Chanyeol knows he's listening, and that fact alone is enough for the soldier to not feel like an idiot. If it helps with easing the atmosphere, Chanyeol will gladly talk the boy's ears off.

Turning right, the prisoner walks into the bathroom with Chanyeol just one meter behind him, looking around the new surroundings. When he feels Chanyeol getting just the tiniest bit closer, he flinches and jumps to the side, eyes wide and fingers gripping the hem of his shirt. The boy doesn't say anything, keeping his mouth tightly shut, but with the way his eyes jump from Chanyeol to the bathtub, the soldier can make out what he's probably asking silently.

Somehow, the realization that this boy will get naked in the very near future makes Chanyeol feel flustered. He has seen a naked man before, of course he has - during a rather intimate time as well - but this situation feels more personal than all of his past experiences. Or maybe it's the boy's embarrassment rubbing off on Chanyeol? The soldier doesn't know the exact cause, but the heat that warms his body all of sudden is indicating that there indeed must be one.

"I- uhm, I have to be in the room - orders - but I swear I won't look," to support his words, Chanyeol quickly turns around and focuses his gaze on the wall in front of him. "The soap and towel are on the chair, and-... yeah. You don't have to hurry, just take your time." Then, after remembering that it took some time to get here, Chanyeol quickly adds, "If the water isn't warm enough, just say so and I will add some hot water into it."

Chanyeol gets no reply, but it's alright; he wasn't expecting one anyway. Now, all he has to do is wait.

  
  


He might have told the boy that it's alright to take his time, but now when Chanyeol thinks better of it, he realizes that it's not exactly true. According to his schedule, he should go to the kitchens for the prisoner's and his own dinner in about thirty minutes - maybe even less, since the last time he saw the clock was before he went to the storage room. Chanyeol wonders if he could get in trouble for being late with his schedule even when he says the true reason of why he was late in the first place.

It probably depends on how late he'll be, and judging by the fact that Chanyeol's ears haven't yet caught a sound of the prisoner undressing, it will be by quite a few minutes. He just hopes that the cooks in the kitchens will be nice enough and give him food even though it will be way past dinner time.

When the silence is already too along, Chanyeol has a fleeting thought the prisoner is maybe thinking about how to escape, but it quickly disappears when he finally hears the rustling of clothes and not so long after splashing of water. Judging by the soft sigh that escapes the prisoner's lips, Chanyeol would say that the temperature of the water in the bath is good enough, and it leaves him feeling not only relieved, but strangely happy as well. His effort got paid off.

While the boy baths, Chanyeol can only stand awkwardly in the room with his eyes glued to the wall in front of him, body warm and face pinkish. The soldier tries to compose himself, but it proves to be impossible as his mind keeps going back to the fact that merely two meters away from him there is a completely nude guy in the bathtub, very likely feeling ten thousand times more embarrassed by the situation than Chanyeol. The whole time, Chanyeol has not dared to turn around and break his promise, and yet the embarrassment of the boy is hanging in the air all around the room, making Chanyeol feel it as if it were his own emotions instead. He wonders what would the prisoner do if someone else were to guard him instead of Chanyeol, and he wouldn't get even as little privacy as Chanyeol is gifting him with.

Not being the best with guessing the time, Chanyeol has no idea how long he stands there like a statue while the boy washes himself. It could be ten minutes, or twenty - Chanyeol doesn't know. However, he is glad that after what seems like forever to him, the prisoner starts climbing out of the bathtub, the familiar sound of rustling of clothes heard a minute later. Chanyeol sighs in relief quietly because this saves him the trouble of asking the prisoner to hurry up, which would most likely only stress the boy, making him think that some sort of punishment would await him if he took even longer.

Suddenly, Chanyeol feels a light touch on his shoulder, and it startles him so much that he whips around in a speed of light, eyes wide and a yelp escaping his lips. A very similar sound comes out of the prisoner's mouth, and the tiny person jumps back with eyes equally wide as Chanyeol's, putting some distance between them. Just then, when they both stare at each other in the dim-lighted room for a while, does Chanyeol realize that the boy is fully dressed again and that it was him who touched the soldier's shoulder, wanting to let Chanyeol know that he's done bathing.

Relaxing and letting out a chuckle, Chanyeol tries not to feel like an idiot for getting startled like that. "Oh, uhm... okay, let's go back then," he says, gesturing to the door vaguely. The boy doesn't move for a few seconds, still a little scared if his blue wide orbs and timid stance are anything to go by, but eventually, he starts walking toward the exit of the bathroom again, glancing at Chanyeol from the corners of his eyes to make sure the soldier isn't getting ready to hurt him in any way.

They return to the room in similar fashion they left, and the boy hurries back to bed to hide under the blanket right away. Chanyeol doesn't know if it's because he's cold or if it's because he wants to get as far away from Chanyeol as possible, but the soldier still makes a mental note to bring one more blanket for the boy to make sure he won't feel cold during the night. The weather is not that warm anymore, after all.

"I have to go to the kitchens now to pick up dinner, but I'll be back in a few," Chanyeol announces, and he feels rather uncomfortable when he closes the door and locks it afterwards. It's like he has just put the boy in a cage, the keys to his freedom dangling between Chanyeol's fingers. It's a horrible feeling, Chanyeol decides as he puts the keys in his pocket and walks out of the building, trying to gulp down the uneasiness.

  
  


True to his words, Chanyeol is back a few minutes later, holding a tray with water and a plate with food in one hand as he opens the door to the boy's room with the other. Chanyeol's own dinner is already sitting on the table in his room, waiting to be eaten, and Chanyeol can't wait to get a taste of it, already being plenty hungry, but before that he needs to give food to the prisoner. He just hopes there won't be any trouble.

After entering the room, Chanyeol sees the boy in the exact same position as before - sitting on the bed in the corner of the room, wrapped in blanket. He is looking at Chanyeol with almost the same look, blue eyes cautious and fingers gripping the blanket tightly, wet strands of hair plastered to his forehead. He looks like a child, small and scared, and Chanyeol finds himself wondering about how old the prisoner is. Maybe he'll find out sometime in the future.

"It's nothing special, but at least you won't be hungry," Chanyeol comments and starts walking toward the bed with slow, careful steps, afraid that if he marched forward any faster, it would cause another wave of fear to wash over the boy.

Just as expected, the prisoner curls into himself when the soldier gets closer, and Chanyeol, even though he didn't do anything, feels somewhat guilty for scaring the boy with only his presence. Repeating that he isn't here to hurt the poor thing wouldn't be of any use, seeing that it didn't help at all the last time Chanyeol tried it, but what is there to do? How can he ease the boy's worries? Chanyeol could go crazy trying to find the answers to these questions.

Putting the tray on the floor beside the bed, Chanyeol steps back and puts some space between himself and the boy. The orders are that Chanyeol has to be there to see the prisoner eating, but with him there, the boy doesn't look like he will move any time soon, nor eat. "I have to be in the room while you eat," is what Chanyeol says, informing the boy in a hope to make any doubts about him being here for other reasons disappear. God knows what is on the boy's mind, worrying him.

Glancing at the food on the tray, the prisoner gives Chanyeol a skeptical look afterwards. He doesn't talk, doesn't even make a sound, but Chanyeol understands, hearing the silent question, seeing it clearly in the blue orbs. Chuckling slightly, Chanyeol answers, "It's not poisoned, or anything like that. Don't worry about it and just eat, or it'll get cold - even more so, I mean." The boy doesn't look all that convinced, still eyeing the food with distrust, but he must be hungry enough to be willing to take the risk, because the next second he is already taking the chopsticks in his hands and digging in.

Again, Chanyeol just stands there awkwardly, looking around the room and tapping his fingers against his pants. There is not much he can do though, aside from simply being here and waiting until the prisoner is done with his food. His stomach is already calling out for dinner, but orders are orders, and even though there is nobody to witness Chanyeol skipping this part of duty in order to go and fill his stomach, the soldier doesn't dare to do it. What if something happens? What if the prisoner chokes on his food or something? Chanyeol wouldn't be there to help and it would cause him unimaginable trouble.

And so, he just stands there, stomach grumbling every ten seconds. It's pretty audible in the otherwise silent room, and Chanyeol tries to act like it isn't his stomach making the sounds when the prisoner glances up questioningly, confusedly looking around and searching for the thing causing the noise. Soon though, he seems to understand what's going on, and Chanyeol is left feeling embarrassed every time his stomach makes a sound because every grumble is followed by the prisoner glancing at him from under his lashes.

However, the soldier lives through his embarrassment - not like he has any other choice - and when the boy puts down the chopsticks after eating everything, quickly returning to his safe blanket-cocoon afterwards, Chanyeol is quick to take the tray and leave the room, not even thinking about the uneasiness that comes to him when he locks the prisoner inside again because of the hunger. The dinner isn't anything special, just like other days, but Chanyeol still looks forward to it the same way he had looked forward to eating dinner before the war started because food is food, and at times like this, people ought to be grateful for being able to have a dinner to eat to begin with.

  
  


It's rather late, but Chanyeol can't bring himself to close his eyes and peacefully fall asleep just like that, even though he's already lying down in his bed, covered with a blanket. His stomach is as full as it can be too, his body clearly begging for a rest, but the soldier doesn't quite feel like closing his eyes for the day, something keeping him awake forcefully. More specifically, someone. Even more specifically, the boy in the room just across the hall.

Chanyeol left the boy quickly because of how hungry he was, momentarily caring only about eating and nothing else, but after filling his stomach, doing the evening hygiene and going to bed, Chanyeol's emotions were back again. Lying down in bed, the soldier wondered if the boy was alright in the other room, all alone and probably still scared in the dark. _Is he okay? Will he be able to fall asleep? Is he cold - should I bring him another blanket?_ Many questions started occupying Chanyeol's mind, and minutes later, they are still there, keeping him wide awake. He knows he shouldn't be that concerned about the well-being of a mere South Korean prisoner, but Chanyeol can't help it, worrying about the boy despite being aware that it's considered wrong, especially in times of war. As a person from North, a soldier fighting for his country, Chanyeol shouldn't feel an ounce of sympathy for an enemy - and yet, here he is, not being able to fall asleep because he is busy worrying about a complete stranger, about a person he doesn't even know the name of.

But... how is Chanyeol supposed to be unbothered by all of this? His heart has always been soft, maybe a little bit too soft, and seeing someone looking so damn out of it and scared shitless is something Chanyeol can't just push to the back of his mind. The boy's beautiful but frightened blue orbs are haunting him, and Chanyeol finds himself looking into them all over again every time he tries to close his eyes and go to sleep. It's horrible.

Groaning, Chanyeol kicks the blanket off and sits up, running a frustrated hand through his hair. _What to do_ , he sighs, staring into nothing in particular for a few seconds before deciding that with all of these thoughts swirling inside his head and making it too loud it's impossible to fall asleep. He has to do something, anything, and with that in mind, Chanyeol throws his legs over the edge of the bed, puts on his pants and boots, and stands up. He doesn't bother with a jacket as he grabs his keys from the table and practically runs out of his room and out of the building as well, making his way to the storage building.

The cold biting his skin is bad but not bad enough to be paid attention to, Chanyeol already rather immune to it thanks to having to sleep outside quite a few times in a weather worse than that since the war started. It's dark, but the faraway lamps are providing Chanyeol with enough light, the soldier being able to find a way to where he wants to go with the help of his memory, and it takes only a short while until he's standing in front of the storage building, unlocking the door quickly and stepping in - he's lucky that the key is much larger than any other one so it was easy to find, otherwise it would be a pain in the ass. Turning on the light would most likely catch the attention of soldiers who are on watching duty today - even though they are pretty far away - so Chanyeol counts on his memory once again as he goes to the back, steps careful and slow. He wasn't in there enough times to remember where every little thing is, but what he remembers is that the blankets are supposed to be at the very back and that if he goes just straight, he shouldn't trip over anything.

It seems like forever but in the end Chanyeol gets there, feeling the familiar fabric of blanket under his fingertips. With a relieved sigh, he takes one - or what should be one - in his hands and goes back just as slowly, locking the door again when he's out. From there, his steps are much quicker since there isn't a risk of tripping over and breaking something while he's at it, and before Chanyeol can truly register that he was outside in the cold, he's already back.

Without much thinking, Chanyeol finds the key to the prisoner's room - again, easy to distinguish since it's the smallest one for a change - and opens the heavy, metal door that screeches rather loudly in the process. Thanks to the moonlight that gets there through the small window high in the wall, Chanyeol can see the prisoner clearly enough when he steps in; the boy is still sitting in the exact same position as he was when Chanyeol left him, and his blue eyes are shining in the moonlight brightly like two diamonds. It's almost scary, to be honest. Or, it would be if the boy's gaze wasn't trembling like his whole body upon seeing Chanyeol enter.

"I'm sorry to scare you with coming in like this, it wasn't my intention," Chanyeol starts, voice gentle. "It's just that I thought you'd be cold, so I brought an extra blanket." With that said, Chanyeol slowly walks up to the bed and places the blanket on its edge before backing off again, adding, "I know it's probably impossible, but please try and get some sleep. You must be tired after... everything that has happened. I promise nothing will happen to you so just... try."

Chanyeol realizes how stupid it must sound - asking the boy to believe him of all people; his captor - but he had to say it to feel less guilty about partly being the reason the boy is scared out of his life. If he didn't say it, Chanyeol feels like he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. He already feels lighter after coming here and presenting the prisoner with a few words and an extra blanket, so maybe now it will be possible for Chanyeol to finally get some shut-eye.

With a whisper of goodnight, Chanyeol leaves again quietly. Locking the door, he goes back to his room, putting the keys on the table, kicking his shoes off along the way, taking off his pants, and climbing back into his bed that feels strangely more welcoming now. He lets out a sigh as he closes his eyes and makes himself comfortable, hoping that the sleep will come easier now.

It definitely does.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Every day kind of repeats itself, different in just the way the boy seems to be less scared every time Chanyeol is near, fulfilling his duties and taking care of the prisoner. However, everything else is exactly the same, from Chanyeol having to wake up in the morning at a specific time so he can bring the prisoner breakfast, to Chanyeol falling asleep late at night after making sure that the boy is asleep as well and doesn't need anything.

Chanyeol takes good care of the boy, or at least he thinks so. He always tries to be nice and talkative to ease the tension in the air after seeing that it worked in the past, his voice as gentle and calming as it can be and actions careful so he wouldn't startle the prisoner. It's a lot of effort, to be honest, to come off as someone who isn't here to cause pain when he's standing so tall and menacing in his uniform, but Chanyeol truly tries his best, wanting the fear in the boy's eyes to disappear.

The prisoner doesn't talk to him. Or more specifically, he doesn't talk to Chanyeol when the soldier tries to initiate a conversation and says something only when he is craving to go to toilet or when he desperately needs some water, but that's it. Chanyeol doesn't hold it against him at all, but he is a little sad and disappointed that he can't get more than three words per day out of the boy, seeing it as some kind of a personal failure in proving himself to the prisoner. It sure feels like failure when after eleven days, Chanyeol couldn't even get the boy's name.

On a more positive note though, Chanyeol's mood is slightly improved by the fact that he is extremely well-rested.

In the past few months, Chanyeol hadn't really gotten a lot of sleep - or rest in general - because of being thrown into the battlefield where it had been difficult to get more than a few short hours of a shut-eye, and even those few hours hadn't been exactly effective, given that Chanyeol's sleep had been interrupted by the tiniest sounds that his ears had caught. However, after being assigned to the job of the prisoner's guard days ago, Chanyeol has had lots of time that could be used for sleeping or simply lying in his bed and resting, since his duties take only a few minutes to fulfill.

Being rested is an amazing feeling, definitely, but Chanyeol feels a little guilty about it as well because he is aware that he could sleep so much only because he has a person to guard and take care of. He knows that it isn't his fault that the prisoner is here and that he was assigned to watch over him, but the knowledge that a completely innocent person was taken hostage and Chanyeol himself is the one that has to make sure they are kept on a lockdown is a horrible. Chanyeol tries not to dwell on it too much, being well aware that in a war there is no such thing as mercy, but the guilt always comes back anyway.

The terrible feeling of being one of those who are to be blamed for the scarring experience the boy must be going through is the strongest every time Chanyeol has to take out the keys and unlock or lock the door, because it feels as if though Chanyeol owned the keys to the prisoner's freedom, even though he knows it's not like that - there are other people pulling the strings, and Chanyeol is just one of the puppets that has to do as he is told, otherwise a punishment awaits him.

One of those times that Chanyeol has to gulp down the guilt and replace his sorrowful expression with a gentle smile comes now as Chanyeol opens the door and puts the keys back in his pocket, stepping into the room with the prisoner's lunch in his left hand.

"Hey there, angel," is what Chanyeol says in greeting when their eyes meet, coming closer to the bed and putting the tray on the ground before stepping away like usual, giving the boy some space.

After the prisoner had been silent every time Chanyeol had asked him about his name, the soldier decided to give him a nickname, not liking how he didn't have anything to call the boy with. Thanks to the blue eyes and ethereal face, angel was the first thing that came to Chanyeol's mind, and the soldier liked it so much that he started using it frequently. It seemed fitting.

When Chanyeol called the boy angel for the first time, the reaction was surprising.

The prisoner had looked up at him in shock, and for a moment, there had been no fear in his eyes - however, other emotions had been present, like... sadness. It's a nice nickname, why would he be so sad about it? Why would he look like it brings back bad memories? Chanyeol had asked himself, and decided afterwards that if the boy doesn't like the nickname for some reason, the soldier will keep on using it with the most tender tone until he replaces whatever nasty memories the boy has with the memories of Chanyeol saying it with utmost gentleness.

Eventually, it worked. It had taken four days, but after that, the boy seemed to start responding positively, if the smallest of smiles gracing his face was anything to go by. The change was easy to notice, considering that it was a huge accomplishment to make the boy who had been scared out of his life smile, even if the corners of his bow-shaped lips were tugged upwards just slightly.

"The dark-circles under your eyes are getting fainter," Chanyeol comments when the prisoner takes the tray from the ground and puts it on his thighs, careful not to spill the water. "It must mean you're getting more sleep. I'm glad," as usual, the boy doesn't say anything in response, but Chanyeol knows he's listening, the way his blue eyes glance up from time to time being enough of an indication.

It's silent again after that, Chanyeol leaning against the wall without a word while the boy eats, but it isn't uncomfortable. After eleven days of the same daily routine and Chanyeol's kind behavior, the prisoner has relaxed and doesn't look like he's feeling uneasy with Chanyeol in the room anymore, which is making Chanyeol feel slightly better about the whole situation as well. The tension in the air was making it all harder, both for the boy and for Chanyeol, so the soldier is glad that it has gotten better.

Ten minutes later, the prisoner is done with his lunch, putting the tray back on the ground and returning to his safe corner as he wraps himself in the blanket. Chanyeol chuckles inwardly upon seeing that, finding it quite... adorable. Even when the boy now seems to know that Chanyeol isn't going to hurt him, he always goes back to the corner of the bed and gets into the exact same position with only his eyes peeking out of the blanket, and it's rather cute, to be honest. Before, it caused slight pain to Chanyeol's heart to see the boy hiding away and covering himself with the blanket while he was staring at Chanyeol with scared eyes, but now when his blue orbs are looking at Chanyeol with something akin to curiosity and close to zero fear, the soldier's insides swell with new-found adoration.

"If you need something, just knock on the door and I'll come," Chanyeol says, and the boy just nods in understanding silently. He doesn't even need to be told, Chanyeol thinks, from how many times the soldier has already repeated it. Picking up the tray from the ground, Chanyeol adds after seeing the boy's eyelids fluttering close, "You should get some more sleep if you're tired, it'll only do you good."

Walking out of the room, Chanyeol can't help but glance at the prisoner one last time before closing the door. He is happy when he sees the boy sliding down to lie down on the bed, eyes closed and a peaceful expression on his face as he goes back to sleep, just like Chanyeol advised.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Because every day is very similar to the previous, Chanyeol somehow doesn't expect a change. The possibility that something could go significantly differently has escaped his mind, the daily routine which was drilled into his head over the past eleven days making the soldier foolishly think that it'll go on like that until the prisoner is freed.

That's why, the wake-up call he gets on the twelfth evening is not only sudden, but also a brutal slap back to reality that came literally out of nowhere and interrupted the easy flow of things. And what's worse than the actual wake-up call happening is the fact that none other than Woohyun and Heojoon are responsible for it.

It happens when Chanyeol is bringing the boy dinner, and he hears the trouble before he sees it, his ears catching a distant sound of screaming. He stops in his tracks with a confused frown on his face, looking around himself as he searches for the owner of the voice, but to no avail. Everything seems alright, nothing out of place- and then, Chanyeol notices it. The doors to the building the prisoner is in are open, and Chanyeol is damn sure he had closed it before he left to get dinner.

Panic seizes Chanyeol's heart immediately and his legs move on their own as he walks toward the building, heart beating rapidly and jaw clenched. _Everything's alright,_ he tells to himself as he tries to calm down. _You probably just forgot to close the door._ Thinking like this doesn't help though, because Chanyeol clearly remembers closing the damn door as he left, and this realization makes him walk ever faster, knuckles turning white from how tightly he's holding the tray with the prisoner's dinner.

It's only a second later that a desperate voice calls for help, the scream louder and more audible now, and if Chanyeol had any doubts about something bad happening, he has no doubts now. Dropping the tray as he starts running, all kinds of scenarios flash through his mind - all of them horrible, needless to say.

Thanks to his long legs, Chanyeol gets to the building in just a few short seconds, and while his heart was beating strongly against his ribcage until now, it stops beating altogether when his eyes process the sight in front of him. His mouth falls open in shock and his eyes go wide, words stuck in his throat as the air is knocked out of him upon seeing what's happening. Chanyeol's whole body is frozen, and he is unable to move as if his limbs weren't even his, panic that was bubbling in his stomach exploding.

It's only when a sob pierces the air that Chanyeol gets a hold of himself, making his body move. "The fuck are you doing?!" he yells loudly, startling the two soldiers in the room as well as the boy half-lying on the ground and half-leaning against the wall as he steps in. "Get away from him right now!" Chanyeol doesn't even wait for a response as he takes a hold of Woohyun's arm and yanks the man away from the prisoner, fire in his eyes along with the pure anger.

Woohyun is momentarily startled by Chanyeol's sudden appearance, but he doesn't dwell on it for long, yelling back at Chanyeol a second later, "Shut up! You're in no position to talk to me like that!"

"I don't care!" Chanyeol doesn't lower his voice, taking a hold of Woohyun's collar and shaking him, unable to keep himself collected and calm in such a situation. "It's you who shouldn't even be here, doing something that will cost you your pointless life-"

"The brat isn't under protection anymore," Heojoon cuts Chanyeol off harshly, forcefully pulling him away from Woohyun who curses under his breath and continues to throw daggers at Chanyeol.

"Have you gone crazy? Both of you?" Chanyeol asks, frustration lacing his voice. He opens his mouth to argue further, the urge to just scream at the two assholes so strong, but then he decides it isn't worth it. Instead, Chanyeol turns his back to them and kneels down, focusing on the boy with tears-streaked face as he inspects the damage that was done. The prisoner has a split lip and an already-forming bruise on the cheek under his left eye, accompanied by a nasty cut, and a red hand-mark on his other cheek, most likely caused by a strong slap. "Jesus..." Chanyeol mumbles to himself upon seeing this, his hands trembling slightly as he reaches out for the poor thing.

However, the boy just whimpers and turns his head away, making it clear that he doesn't want to be touched. That he is afraid.

"His father isn't going to trade information for the kid, have you not heard?" Woohyun utters bitterly. "He's fucking useless-"

"Shut the fuck up," Chanyeol interrupts in an angry whisper, turning his head to look at the two soldiers with threat in his eyes. Right now, he doesn't care about any of that, he doesn't want to hear it. He only cares about the boy, and about the possibility that his face wasn't the only part of the boy that had taken the hits. "Just... stop talking."

"You stop talking, and listen to what we're saying!" Heojoon says, clearly not happy with the fact that Chanyeol isn't listening to them at all. "Don't you understand that he's worthless? We had waited for his father's reply for so long, and what for? He refused. What kind of parent doesn't even try to negotiate and easily lets go of their kid like tha-"

Having enough, Chanyeol stands up in the speed of light and turns around, pushing Heojoon with so much force that the man stumbles. "And that's an excuse?!" Chanyeol yells, strong voice bouncing off the walls, echoing in the room. Woohyun attempts to defend his friend from the possible danger and steps in between the two men, but he is pushed to the side as if it was nothing a moment later, Chanyeol's strength not a joke when he's angry. "You beat him up - as if he was the one at blame - and this is your only excuse?!"

"Well, he's useless, so it's certainly his fault!" Heojoon counters, standing his ground. "We had been feeding him for so many days and he had had the best treatment, but in the end it all proved to be a waste because his father couldn’t care less about him."

"This doesn't mean you had to give him a beating, you idiot," Chanyeol fumes, fists still clenched and ready to gift the man in front of him with a hit. The fact that Heojoon acts like he didn't do anything wrong is riling Chanyeol up even more, and he wonders how long can he keep himself from punching the hell out of the fucker.

"You don't understand," whispering with venom, this time it's Heojoon who pushes Chanyeol. "Kidnapping the brat and demanding information in exchange was our idea," he starts explaining hotly, gesturing to Woohyun. "And because he is a useless piece of shit, we'll get in trouble!" continuing, Heojoon pushes Chanyeol again. "It was a perfect plan - bulletproof, even! That is," he pauses and looks down behind Chanyeol, fixing his eyes on the boy on the ground before bitterly spitting out the rest of his sentence, "If this bitch right here was of any worth."

Saying that, Heojoon attempts to get closer to the prisoner once again and hurt him further, venting his own failure out on the poor thing trembling with fear behind Chanyeol, but Chanyeol doesn't let him. He takes a step to the side to shield the boy completely, standing tall and menacing as he says, "You won't touch him." It sounds definite, and it also is, the doubtless voice making it as clear as a day. Chanyeol has no intention of letting neither of them get any closer. "If you step any closer, I will end you."

"Chanyeol-"

"I will end you," Chanyeol repeats gravely, looking deep into Heojoon's eyes until he sees understanding in them. Then, he glances to Woohyun to warn him with a fierce look also, gaze flickering between them until he is sure that both of the soldiers are aware that Chanyeol is not joking.

"We'll be back, I hope you know that," is all that Woohyun says as he grabs Heojoon by his forearm, tugging at it. "This doesn't end here, so don't think that for a second," Woohyun continues to threaten Chanyeol, using a seemingly calm tone through which Chanyeol sees immediately, the rough and angry edge to it being impossible to overhear.

"What do you think will happen now?" Heojoon questions, letting himself be dragged away but not before giving Chanyeol a piece of mind as well. Chanyeol doesn't really react, only standing there and glaring at both of them with his whole being while listening to their words. "Now when he doesn't have any value, what do you think will happen to him?"

Chanyeol, honestly, doesn't know the answer to this question. He didn't really have the time to worry about it, given that he only focused on how to protect the prisoner from being hurt any more by the two assholes. However, now when it's mentioned, he wonders too; what will happen? Chanyeol strongly doubts that they would just let the boy go - he's still an enemy, so there's no way he could be set free now even when he is proven to have no worth.

"Just leave already," is what Chanyeol says instead, deciding to worry about what will happen later. Now, he needs to focus on things at hand.

"You will regret picking up a fight with me," Heojoon utters, and Chanyeol can only chuckle bitterly. "Just wait."

And then, they are gone. Their steps fade away as the door to the building is loudly shut behind them, and Chanyeol lets out a sigh he didn't realize he was holding. Finally, he relaxes his hands, ignoring the slight pain that shoots from his palm; until now, he didn't even notice that his nails were digging into his skin while he had his hands balled in fists, but the sting he feels is enough of an indication. Running a hand through his hair, Chanyeol turns back to the boy and kneels down once again, his heart still racing because of how fired up he has gotten.

The prisoner doesn't look at him. He keeps staring down, not meeting Chanyeol's gaze as tears fall down his cheeks, glistening in the light. He is not shaking anymore, but his fingers are still gripping the fabric of his shirt so tightly that his knuckles are white, and Chanyeol's heart swells painfully at the sight when he focus on the damage that was done to the boy's face.

The soldier doesn't even know how to approach him, given that the boy flinches visibly when Chanyeol tries to reach out. The way the prisoner flinches away from Chanyeol's touch is different than the way he did back when they brought him here, though; that time, he was obviously afraid to be touched by Chanyeol, so tense and scared of getting hurt, but now it simply looks like he doesn't want to be touched not because he is fearing the possible danger, but because he simply doesn't want any skin to skin contact right now. At least, Chanyeol thinks so, since the way he flinched wasn't violent and quick, but very slow instead, giving off this calmish vibe.

Licking his lips, Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, but no words come to his mind. And so, he closes his mouth. And opens it again, just to close it once more. Frustrated with himself, Chanyeol brings his hands to his face and sighs into them, fingers tapping against his forehead. Think, think, think, he urges himself desperately, brows furrowed. What can he even tell the boy after what happened? "We need to get your wounds treated," Chanyeol mumbles in the end, letting his hands fall to his sides again. "Can you wait for me here for a second, I will get some... things."

The boy doesn't answer, but he nods the tiniest bit, and Chanyeol quickly gets up and hurries out of the room, making his way to the storage building where medical things should be, like everything else. As he runs there, he realizes what a stupid thing he said to the boy back there - asking someone who was beaten up and probably can't even stand up to wait for him somewhere, that's really something - but it's the least important thing occupying his mind, to be honest. Now, he only focuses on quickly finding all the things needed to treat the boy's wounds.

He has never been one to have much knowledge about medical treatment, but he knows the very basics and hopes that his beginner-skills will be enough, since nobody else is going to do it instead of him. With that in mind, Chanyeol lets go of the anger he feels when his mind goes back to the two assholes that have caused all of this, knowing that right now he needs to be as calm and collected as possible, and quickly grabs the essentials he needs before hurrying back to the prisoner.

When he is back, he finds the boy sitting in the exact same position on the exact same place, and there is this familiar painful sting in his heart once again as his eyes fall upon the poor thing with messed up face and tears-streaked face. Curled on the floor, the prisoner looks so small, so tiny in here that it gives off the impression that this is a royal chamber or the most spacious place on Earth, and not a room that's far from being even remotely big.

Walking in and dropping the gauze pads, towels, antibiotic ointment and a jar with saline on the bed, Chanyeol glances at the boy shortly before making his way to the bathroom where he fills two buckets with water; one with cold water and the other one with warm water. Then, he takes the buckets in his hands and goes to place them next to the prisoner's bed, disappearing for one more time to get a chair from his own room across the hall and placing in it near the bed. Looking over the things he has prepared, Chanyeol thinks that he has everything.

Turning around and going back to the boy, Chanyeol asks gently as he kneels down, "Can you stand?" silently, the blue-eyed angel tries to get up, pushing himself off the ground just to fall back on his bottom a second later with a pained whimper, hand immediately coming to touch his abdomen. It's a clear sign that not only his face was hurt, and Chanyeol tries really hard to ignore the anger bubbling in his stomach after seeing the boy's face morphing into a pained expression. "Let me help you," the soldier offers, not reaching out before getting a permission.

The boy doesn't seem to be happy about having to be touched or needing help in general, but eventually, he turns his whole body to Chanyeol and reaches out for support, his eyes meeting Chanyeol's for a second before he averts his gaze elsewhere again. "Here," Chanyeol says, slowly circling his fingers around the prisoner's wrist and placing the small hand on his shoulder. The tender touch takes the boy by surprise, and again, blue eyes focus on Chanyeol's own brown ones, the two sharing yet another eye-contact. Chanyeol's lips are tugged upwards in an awkward smile, but that strange grimace seems to be exactly what the boy needed to start trusting Chanyeol, at least a little.

When an arm is wrapped around Chanyeol's shoulders a second later, the soldier sighs internally in relief and starts standing up, helping the boy on his legs. He thought more talking and persuading would be needed, but the prisoner lets himself be walked and eventually seated on the chair with ease, probably not having enough power to fight any more. The soft whimpers that escape his lips

"Where did they hurt you?" Chanyeol asks, staring into the prisoner's eyes intensely. "Can you tell me where it hurts?" the answer comes in a form of the boy looking down, hand still on his abdomen. Chanyeol follows the line of sight and reaches out for the hem of the shirt, glancing up as if asking if it's alright to lift it up. When he gets a small nod in return, Chanyeol starts pulling the shirt up, revealing a nasty bruise just below the prisoner's ribs, and his breath hitches.

The bruise is huge and the color of it is creating a contrast to the otherwise rather-pale skin, making Chanyeol's eyes widen as a curse escapes his mouth. Pulling the shirt further up, the soldier inspects the bare upper-body for injuries, however, aside from the huge bruise on the abdomen, he sees nothing, which means that one of the assholes must have repeatedly hit the boy on the exact same place, venting out their anger with hits only there. _Disgusting_ , Chanyeol thinks and lets out a frustrated sigh, shaking his head as he lets the shirt fall back down.

Just then, as Chanyeol looks at the boy's face again and sees all the cuts and bruises there too, it hits him. _It's my fault_ , the realization is a slap to his face, and Chanyeol feels guilt nagging at him immediately, eating him from inside without mercy. _I had promised to protect him, and this happened. I failed, even though it was my only task._ Every beat of his heart seems to cause him pain after the sudden realization, and Chanyeol averts his gaze to the ground, feeling ashamed on top of everything.

There is no time for self-pity though, and Chanyeol tries to push the negative feelings to the back of his mind for the time being so he can focus on the treatment, not wanting to have thoughts all over the place, since when he is unfocused, the soldier tends to screw up even the easiest of the tasks. However, it's hard not to think about how this is all his fault when the reminder of his failure is right in front of him, sitting on a chair and looking so messed up, whimpering softly every time Chanyeol brings the gauze pad dipped in saline to the cuts on his face. Those pained sounds and the way the pale skin is turning rather colorful at some places are proofs that he fucked up so badly-

"Baekhyun," a quiet voice whispers into the silence and Chanyeol looks up in a speed of light, eyes wide because of surprise and then confusion a second later.

"What?"

"My name," now, after seeing the boy's lips moving with his own two eyes, Chanyeol is assured that the voice indeed belongs to the prisoner. "It's Baekhyun," the boy - Baekhyun - repeats his name again, adding the tiniest of smiles to his words, leaving Chanyeol in a state of complete shock, eyes so wide that one would be sure they are going to fall out of his eye-sockets.

He is being spoken to by the prisoner, by Baekhyun. This has never happened before, or to be more specific, not like this. Chanyeol had always been the one to talk, to fill out the silence hanging in the air, but the boy had never replied to anything, opening his mouth to speak only to say one word - that word being either _toilet_ or _water_ \- so him actually talking to Chanyeol without being in a need of anything feels like a miracle. And if that's not enough, there is still that small, barely-there smile that makes Chanyeol think that he's just imagining it all.

Chanyeol wonders if this is just a dream, but then Baekhyun speaks again, not giving him time to confront his confusion, "You had been asking me about my name every day," his tone is quiet but not scared - there is only a hint of uncertainty, but that's all. "Thought I'd finally answer."

"I-" Chanyeol stops, not knowing what to say. It's true that for the past days, he had been asking about the boy's name at least once a day, but him asking had never actually resulted in accomplishment, since only silence was Chanyeol's answer. Eventually, he questioned the boy about his name without even expecting reply, knowing none would come, so it sure is a surprise when the name is dropped out of nowhere, the prisoner going as far as smiling slightly at him.

The longer Chanyeol stares at Baekhyun with the name still echoing in his mind though, the more sense it all makes; the answer is in the way Baekhyun's lips are tugged upwards the smallest bit, the way his glassy and red-ish redish eyes are returning Chanyeol's gaze without a single hint of fear that had been present before, and the way his whole body seems to be more-or-less relaxed despite Chanyeol - who was labeled as possible danger at the very beginning - being so near, even touching him.

Looking into the beautiful blue eyes, the message Baekhyun is trying to convey reaches Chanyeol in no time; _It's okay. It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you._ It isn't spoken out loud, but it doesn't matter because Chanyeol hears it anyway, feels it anyway. The words might have not been said, but they are still so loud that they silence the cruel voices in Chanyeol's head, replacing the guilt and frustration with relief, incredible relief, and it feels like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders.

As Baekhyun non-verbally lets Chanyeol know that he doesn't hold what had happened against him, the soldier realizes that while the anger he felt for himself for not being able to protect the prisoner was one thing, his biggest fear was probably the possibility that Baekhyun would never forgive him, that the boy would blame Chanyeol for breaking the promise of not letting any harm come to him. It was the guilt that was more significant than anything else, and now when Baekhyun is so kindly forgiving him for this mess, Chanyeol feels like he can breathe again.

Letting out a relieved huff, Chanyeol's body relaxes visibly. "That's a nice name," he whispers and throws the used gauze pad on the ground, reaching for the antibiotic ointment that is lying on the bed.

"As nice as any other," is Baekhyun's response, shortly followed by a quiet hiss of pain when Chanyeol puts the ointment on, spreading it gently across the cut on Baekhyun's cheek. He is extra careful because of the big bruise around the cut, not wanting to cause the boy any more pain than necessary.

"Maybe," Chanyeol nods, putting the ointment back on the bed and taking another gauze pad and a thin tape into his hand. He doesn't even know what it's called, since there was no need for him to ever learn the name of it, but he has seen medics using it all the time to patch him up, so he is sure of the use. "Doesn't make yours any less pretty, though."

A silence follows then, but it's comfortable and the atmosphere is light, despite the terrible situation. Chanyeol treats the cut on Baekhyun's lip too, wiping away the dried blood as tenderly as possible, and then puts small towels soaked in cold water to the bruises, holding them there. He knows that it's a pathetic excuse for ice, but this has to do, since ice is in the kitchens and people would ask too much if Chanyeol barged in there in hurry and demanded ice.

When he's done with Baekhyun's face, he asks for the permission to lift the boy's shirt up again, and when it's given, Chanyeol holds the cold towel against the bruised skin here too. Baekhyun hisses slightly again at the first contact, his body tensing, but soon lets his muscles relax, and he breathes out deeply. Chanyeol feels as if though the blue orbs were on him while he tends to the boy, and wanting to know if it's just a feeling or if it's real, the soldier glances up, his heart doing a double-flip when their eyes truly meet once again. There, in these beautiful orbs, Chanyeol sees pure vulnerability and innocence, along with bits of wariness and doubt, accompanied by a desperate want - need - to put his trust into Chanyeol.

Because if he doesn't trust Chanyeol, whom can he trust? There is nobody else; no other option.

To Chanyeol it seems that now when Baekhyun has already taken a step forward, he is wondering if letting his guard down was the right idea or not, qualm clear in his expression. Noticing the uncertainty, Chanyeol thinks of it as a duty to assure the insecure boy that his choice was indeed the right one. After all, it must have taken Baekhyun a lot of courage to let go of - or maybe mute - all the fears and reach out to a person who can oh so easily break him apart, and for that bravery alone, the boy deserves to be pulled out of the endless pit of doubt that had taken the ground from under his feet before his hands give out, before his hope runs out.

And Chanyeol, gladly, gives the helping hand.

"My name's Chanyeol," the soldier speaks up with a gentle tone, his introduction coming a little late, but Baekhyun doesn't seem to mind, nor he seems to be upset about having to wait. It's the exact opposite, actually, and as Chanyeol's voice carries out the next words, the uncertainty starts slowly disappearing from the pretty, blue eyes, and it's replaced by relief but also something akin to, possibly, happiness, "Nice to meet you."

It feels like a new beginning, especially when Baekhyun returns Chanyeol's smile almost shyly, and Chanyeol wonders if this fleeting moment of joy was exactly what made him so naively think that everything's going to be alright.

  
  
  
  
  
  


It's only two days later that Chanyeol's happy bubble is destroyed.

"W-What do you mean, Sir?" stuttering out the question, Chanyeol feels his heart dropping to his stomach.

"Exactly what I said," the general utters nonchalantly, not showing a single ounce of interest. He doesn't even spare Chanyeol a glance as he goes over some documents, seemingly too busy to honor Chanyeol with an eye-contact. "Our plan had failed, and thus the boy could be considered useless," Chanyeol grits his teeth, hating how Baekhyun is once again labeled as useless. "But, as much as he is useless now, he can become worthy again," making a pause to clear his throat, the elder man explains, "See, there is no way that a son of such a high-ranked general is completely unaware of the war plans, or doesn't know at least one significant detail that could help us take over Yeongnam. He would never tell us willingly about his knowledge though, and so, we will have to use methods that might include a bit of violence."

"What if he truly doesn't know anything?" Chanyeol asks. "It wouldn't be a surprise, given that his father didn't think twice before refusing to go through with the exchange. When they weren't close at all, maybe-"

"I think you're forgetting that I didn't call you here to discuss the strategy, but to give you orders so you can make yourself familiar with the new arrangement," for the first time since this conversation has started, the general looks at him, just for the sole purpose of reminding Chanyeol of who is the superior here. Immediately, Chanyeol closes his mouth upon sensing the threat and backs down. "As I was saying," the man continues when Chanyeol is not talking back anymore, returning his gaze to the papers scattered on his table now that he has already warned the soldier. "If he doesn't talk, we will use other methods. I'm yet to choose who will be assigned for the interrogation, but you will know soon enough."

Chanyeol opens his mouth to protest once again, but catches himself before a single syllable has a chance to escape his lips - another slip up would look bad in the general's eyes, and only god knows what that would mean for Chanyeol's future. However, even though no verbal protests are allowed, Chanyeol makes his disagreement very clear with his facial expression. Not like it matters though.

In the end, the general doesn't change his opinion, and all Chanyeol can do is bow and leave after receiving the new orders. Just like the heavy rock sitting on his back disappeared when Baekhyun had talked to him two days ago, now it's back again, making Chanyeol's knees buckle as he walks because of the incredible weight. There are so many things on his mind right now, thoughts racing inside of his head, but there is this one question shining brightly in the mess of all the thoughts flashing back and forth.

_How can I explain this to Baekhyun?_

Chanyeol doesn't have to tell him, technically; it's not a part of his job at all. And yet, he still feels the need to warn Baekhyun for some reason, feels like he has to prepare the boy for what's unavoidably coming in the near future. But how, though? How can he just come up to Baekhyun with this, while they are still standing on thin ice even when the atmosphere is more relaxed, and tell him that by the end of the week, someone is going to come and hurt him way more? And what's worse, this time Chanyeol won't be even able to protect him from them.

Taking in a deep inhale, Chanyeol runs a hand through his hair as he makes his way towards the kitchens to pick up breakfast for Baekhyun and himself, dragging his legs slowly across the road. While walking, the soldier feels a strange, unpleasant pressure rising in his chest and later in his whole body as well, and even though he knows very well that he mustn't feel like this, it seems impossible to get rid of these emotions. The uneasiness, the anger, the guilt, and so much more; Chanyeol simply can't make it disappear, despite being aware of the fact that that's what he should do.

Baekhyun is practically a stranger, a prisoner, an enemy, and Chanyeol's only job is to take care of him well enough to keep him alive. He shouldn't care for the boy, nor worry about him. It's actually the exact opposite; Chanyeol should hate the boy and show zero mercy, have literally no empathy. However, how can he do that when he has never been the one to be completely emotionless or cruel? How can he show zero mercy when he knows that Baekhyun had done nothing wrong to deserve all this?

Looking back at it, Chanyeol thinks he should have thought about accepting this assignment a tad bit more, given his personality.

A few minutes later, Chanyeol is already leaning against the wall as he watches Baekhyun eat, clenching and unclenching his fists because of the nerves. He still doesn't know how to just drop the bomb and it's stressing him out, since the boy seems to realize that something is off with Chanyeol and it's only a matter of time before he asks about it. They haven't had any long conversations, but they have exchanged a few words here and there, and Chanyeol has made it clear that if Baekhyun has any questions, he should feel free to ask without expecting a punishment or something similar. At that time, Baekhyun just nodded and thanked Chanyeol for the opportunity, but now it looks like he is actually going to ask, if the curious and - let's say - worried glances he throws at Chanyeol every ten seconds are anything to go by.

When Baekhyun finally does question Chanyeol though, the soldier doesn't expect such a direct approach, "They are coming back... right?" it feels more like a statement than a question, to be honest, and it shocks Chanyeol beyond belief because how would he even know? There is no way he could have heard anything about it from anyone, since every other person has been denied the permission to go even near this building, so how?

It's only when Baekhyun lets out a humorless, broken laugh that Chanyeol realizes that his silence was enough of an answer for the boy.

"So.... I guess it's true?" Baekhyun asks, putting the tray with food on the ground slowly. His plate is almost full, Chanyeol notices. Then, the boy leans back against the wall and covers himself with blankets, putting his head on top of his bent knees as he turns his gaze to Chanyeol, pretty blue orbs catching the soldier's. However, Chanyeol can't take an eye-contact now, and he looks away the very moment their eyes meet, biting the insides of his mouth as he lowers his head and directs his gaze on the ground.

"I'm sorry," is what falls out of Chanyeol's mouth after a short silence. "I can't do anything about it... I don't know who will come, but someone will, and I'm sorry," he continues, feeling as if though he was breaking a promise with letting someone hurt Baekhyun. It's ridiculous, since Chanyeol has never sworn Baekhyun to protect him from all the evil - only to never hurt him himself - but it still feels like he's betraying the boy. "I tried to argue, but it was of no use and-"

"Why are you even apologizing?" Baekhyun interrupts him softly, voice quiet but loud enough to stop Chanyeol from talking. The soldier is left shocked yet again after being cut off, because taking into consideration the fact that Baekhyun hadn't spoken more than three words a day to him in the past, it sure is a huge progress that the boy casually interrupted him. "You shouldn't feel guilty, nor apologize to me."

Baekhyun is right. Chanyeol shouldn't feel guilty at all. And when it comes to saying sorry? It's absurd as well; a North Korean soldier apologizing to someone from South who has been captured? To a mere prisoner? If anyone from the camp heard this exchange somehow, the general would have Chanyeol's head by the end of the day, killing the soldier with the excuse of him being a possible traitor after showing sympathy to an enemy, which definitely can't be excused.

Chanyeol knows that. He knows it all; that nobody would blink an eye if he were to be killed for treason, that nobody would have mercy with him after he's labeled as a betrayer. But still, even after being aware that, Chanyeol stupidly can't let go of the feeling that's nagging at his heart, telling him that everything that had happened and everything that will happen, is in fact, his fault as well. That he is no better than Woohyun or Heojoon, or every other North Korean soldier who had had a go at Baekhyun before the boy was brought here.

"I realize that," Chanyeol says. It's not really an answer, but it's all Chanyeol can provide Baekhyun with, given that he doesn't exactly have a real answer himself.

Groaning, desperate to understand his own emotions, Chanyeol sinks down to the ground with his hands covering his troubled face, ass hitting the cold cement with a thud. He feels so stupid, presenting himself in front of a prisoner as a person with zero mental strength, while he should be giving off the strong and menacing vibes. _It is almost embarrassing_ , Chanyeol thinks, urging himself to man up and stop looking all pathetic, but it's to no avail. The more Chanyeol nags at himself to get it together, the more conflicted he feels, and that's certainly not helping. His mind is a mess, and Chanyeol hates that his ridiculous emotions are making it so hard for him to go on through his life without unnecessary problems and obstacles.

Sometimes, Chanyeol wishes to be less sympathetic; wishes to be like others. That way, a lot of things would not trouble him as much as they do now, and he would save himself a lot of sorrow and pain. When she was still alive, Chanyeol's mother had used to tell him that his sensitive and emphatic personality is so beautiful because it's pure and humane, but to what good is such personality in a world as cruel as this; in a world where they cherish you more if you are emotionless?

Suddenly, Chanyeol feels cold fingers circling around his wrists, and he freezes immediately in shock, eyes shooting open widely. "W-What-" the words get stuck in his throat as his gaze fall on Baekhyun who is just a few inches from him, blue orbs staring into Chanyeol's dark, brown ones with a strange spark. The soldier didn't even hear Baekhyun coming up to him.

"You shouldn't worry about me," is what escapes the bow-shaped lips in a whisper, and all Chanyeol can do is stare at the beautiful boy in front of him. The fingers around his wrists send a shiver down his spine, and Chanyeol wonders if it's because of how cold they are, or if it's because they are Baekhyun's. "But it comforts me, if I were to be honest," Baekhyun continues, sitting down as well, cross-legged. He doesn't let go of Chanyeol's wrists, holding them gently as if Chanyeol was the one in a need of helping, not the other way around.

The touch sure helps though, since Chanyeol can sense that he's slowly calming down as the thoughts in his head stop swirling around, and he, without even realizing, grazes his index finger over Baekhyun's lower-arm, seeking more skin-to-skin contact in a hope to get a little more comfort that he seems to be so desperately needing. Baekhyun's skin is smooth, velvety smooth, feeling so nice under his fingertip.

"Your worry comforts me," Baekhyun repeats, and Chanyeol thinks of how his voice is as smooth as his skin. "But your guilt does not," he finishes, putting Chanyeol's hands on the spot where his legs are crossing, resting them there while still not letting go. "I wish you would stop blaming yourself, for it's not your fault. None of this. I'm... I'm glad you're here. You make me feel as if though I'm-... as if though I'm not alone."

As Baekhyun finishes, obviously having a hard time with baring himself to the soldier, Chanyeol wants to believe him so much that it's unimaginable. However, what is also unimaginable, at least at the moment, is the possibility of Chanyeol actually forgiving himself.

But the soldier can't say this, not when Baekhyun has gone to such great lengths to try and make Chanyeol's worries disappear. To someone it might not seem like much, but Chanyeol can only imagine how much courage Baekhyun had had to collect to come up to him, talk to him, touch him. And so instead of lying and saying that he'll stop blaming himself, he says, "You talking so much is unusual." Afterwards Chanyeol chuckles, but when he sees a flash of sudden doubt in the boy's eyes and feels the grip on his wrists loosen, he quickly adds, "But I like it. The way you speak is nice."

When Baekhyun gives him the same tiny and shy smile, Chanyeol can't help but mirror it and think that this, this exactly is the reason his sensitive and humane personality is of good use; because even though cruelty seems to be so popular, there are still people who have a heart of gold, and instead of a bad treatment of any kind, they deserve their kindness to be returned to them somehow. The world might not cherish the personality that Chanyeol possesses because it's not fitting, but those very people possibly could, and that is enough.

Baekhyun seems to appreciate it too, and Chanyeol throws the need to be some emotionless bastard out of the window as he keeps staring at the young boy in front of him, realizing that if he were someone else, this would never be possible; Baekhyun would never have even the tiniest bit of faith in Chanyeol, he would never begin to talk to Chanyeol, and he would definitely never reach out to touch Chanyeol or smile at the soldier.

The boy would feel completely lost and alone without Chanyeol here, still as scared as he was during his first night here. Maybe he would even be dead by this time, who knows.

Considering all that, Chanyeol thinks that maybe being a soft-hearted person in a cruel world is not such a bad thing, after all.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Things change between them after Chanyeol's kinda-breakdown. They change so much - for the better, of course - that Chanyeol can't even believe it, and he spends some time thinking about it at night, when he's lying in bed, waiting until sleep takes over.

They talk. Not too much, but it's still significantly more than before. Chanyeol finds out that Baekhyun likes to talk, but doesn't like to talk about himself as much as about things in general, and also that Baekhyun has a unique way of speaking as well, sounding normal but at the same time somewhat... different? Chanyeol can't point out what is so different about it, but he knows that there is something; maybe it's the accent? Chanyeol doesn't know, but he definitely likes it.

Another thing Chanyeol finds out is that Baekhyun is young, very young. He is five years younger than Chanyeol, which is making him only nineteen. Nineteen. Chanyeol is considered a kid and he's twenty-four, so what is Baekhyun then? A baby? Chanyeol's heart clenches painfully at the realization that the boy has to go through something like this at this considerably young age, and he thinks that while the war outside is full of cruelty and zero mercy, it would still be better for Baekhyun to be out there than here, where he is held captive inside of four ugly walls, waiting until someone comes and hurts him while knowing that he can't run away.

Baekhyun is brave, though. To an outsider, it might seem like the boy isn't afraid at all and it's Chanyeol who worries too much, but Chanyeol knows better. Baekhyun smiles at him, talks to him, sometimes even reaches out and touches Chanyeol fleetingly, but he's definitely not as fine as he makes it look. _Don't worry_ , he says when he notices Chanyeol's troubled expression, _it's alright. And it's not your fault_. Chanyeol always wants to ask _isn't it?_ but holds himself back every time, knowing that Baekhyun doesn't want to hear it. Besides, it would be wrong to question Baekhyun's words when the boy is trying so hard to look calm and composed for Chanyeol's sake.

Still, Chanyeol isn't fooled by the pretense. Baekhyun might be a quite good actor, but it's not enough to convince Chanyeol, not by far. The soldier sees past it all, being aware of the fear in Baekhyun's eyes every time the boy smiles, just as he is aware of the fact that Baekhyun doesn't sleep at night because he is too scared of someone coming in during the night when he is even more vulnerable than during the day. There are faint, dark circles under his eyes after the third night, and his face is turning pale because he isn't eating enough either, putting some food into his mouth only when Chanyeol urges him.

Baekhyun is scared to death, but he is pretending not to be so Chanyeol won't feel bad, and Chanyeol wonders how in the world is this possible; a prisoner caring enough about his captor to pretend like this? Chanyeol wants to ask why, because he simply doesn't understand. Why would Baekhyun do to his? What did Chanyeol do to deserve this?

Good. That's what Baekhyun is. And kind. And so damn innocent and pure, not deserving of this mess. Chanyeol wants to get him out of here because Baekhyun simply doesn't fit in this kind of environment, and it pains him so much that he can't. All Chanyeol can do is watch Baekhyun as the boy tortures himself with thinking that he has to keep up this pretense.

"Do you know anything?" Chanyeol asks on the fourth day during the lunch, and Baekhyun looks up slowly, focusing his eyes on Chanyeol. "At least one important thing."

The boy chuckles humorlessly in response, and lowers his gaze afterwards, putting the chopsticks down on the plate before he puts his hands to his lap. "I don't," Baekhyun whispers, and that's exactly what Chanyeol feared. He was scared of the possibility that the ones who will come will use violent methods to get information out of Baekhyun while the prisoner doesn't even have any - not like they would believe Baekhyun.

"You have to," Chanyeol's voice is desperate as he says this. "How can you not?"

"Because I'm not exactly on speaking terms with my father," Baekhyun mumbles, and if Chanyeol didn't hear wrong, there was bitterness along with sorrow in Baekhyun's tone. The boy's expression is indicating that Chanyeol indeed heard right though, for Baekhyun's brows are furrowed while his eyes are full of emotions Chanyeol can't decipher that easily. However, what the soldier can decipher is that Baekhyun is certainly not comfortable with talking about his father.

"But you're fighting in this war as well," Chanyeol pushes. "You have to-"

"I'm not on the fronts," Baekhyun looks up again, making eye-contact with Chanyeol. "I'm a paramedic," explaining, the boy licks his dry lips, his tongue wetting them as well as the healing wound there. "We don't really get a lot of information. We just move wherever we are needed the most without anyone actually telling us what's going on."

"You are-.. what?"

"I'm with the medic team," Baekhyun repeats quietly. "I don't fight on the fronts."

"Then how did they capture you?" Chanyeol questions more, feeling bold. They have never talked about this, so there was no way for Chanyeol to actually find out, since the general wouldn't tell him anything, saying it's none of Chanyeol's business. "I mean, if you weren't fighting on the fronts then.. how?"

"They ambushed our camp," Baekhyun says, trying to act casual but there is so much sadness in the undertone that Chanyeol feels a painful pang in his chest as he listens to the boy. "I don't know how it happened; I had been asleep the whole time, but then I woke up and-" Baekhyun gulps the lump in his throat, his expression slowly but surely changing as his eyes start water. "Everything was on fire, and there was so much screaming. The last thing I saw was the corpse of the nurse that had made me take a nap so I could rest a little."

Chanyeol doesn't know what to say or do, and so he is silent for a few seconds while standing on the other side of the room, motionlessly leaning against the wall. He watches as Baekhyun looks down again, tears dripping on his clasped hands, and Chanyeol's heart shatters with every drop of salty liquid that falls out of the boy's pretty, blue eyes. It hurts to see Baekhyun like this, even more so when Chanyeol realizes that he was holding back from these emotions all this time, not wanting to worry Chanyeol with his feelings, whether it's sorrow or fear.

Also, Chanyeol can't stop thinking about the fact that Baekhyun is a paramedic, and not a soldier as Chanyeol thought he was. The boy being here now seems so much more unfair when Chanyeol realizes that Baekhyun has probably never hurt anyone in his life; the exact opposite actually, he was the one helping people. It's simply unjust, how a boy so young and so good and so damn innocent has been dragged into this violent mess just because of his father, thrown into a dirty room with unclear future, having to wonder every night before falling asleep about what will happen to him tomorrow, if he will even live to see another day. It's simply disgusting, and Chanyeol pities the prisoner so much more now.

"I'm sorry," is all Chanyeol can say. "I really am."

"You don't have to be," comes Baekhyun's response almost right away, voice trembling slightly. Taking a sharp inhale, Baekhyun wipes the tears away from his face and then wipes his wet hands into the covers, sniffling a few times before he looks up, eyes glassy but expression composed once again. _So strong, so brave_ , Chanyeol thinks as he stares at the boy who collected himself so quickly. "We can't change the past, so there's no reason crying over it. We have to focus on the future, right?"

"Yeah.."

 _Focus on the future_ , Chanyeol repeats the words in his mind. But what is there to focus on, when your future is colored so darkly?

  
  


It's shortly after lunch when Chanyeol hears it; a loud, overly-cheerful voice piercing through the comfortable silence him and Baekhyun had going on. "Guess who's back," it says, and Chanyeol doesn't have to guess, doesn't even have to think twice about it because he knows the voice too well. Immediately, he gets goosebumps and stands up from the ground, abandoning the spot he was sitting on until now. His breathing gets uneven, and Chanyeol swears he hears the rapid thumping of his own heart just as well as the approaching steps from outside the room.

The sound of heavy boots of the newcomers making contact with the cement floor of the hall loudly is enough to startle Baekhyun too, the boy climbing out of his bed in a speed of light. When Chanyeol chances a glance at him, he sees Baekhyun's eyes being blown wide, panic in them as clear as day, and the look in the blue irises makes it impossible for Chanyeol to look away. And so, he stares back at the boy, now hearing not only his own heart in his ears, but also Baekhyun's, their heartbeats accompanied by the gravely sound of heavy steps that are getting closer and closer in the background.

It's only when the same, ugly voice speaks again that Chanyeol averts his gaze from Baekhyun, directing it on the unwelcome visitors. "Long time no see," Woohyun says when their eyes meet, and Chanyeol's jaw clenches upon seeing the smirk on the man's face. Woohyun looks so smug, just like Heojoon who is quietly standing by his side, and the sight makes Chanyeol want to punch a wall. Or them.

"What are you doing here?" Chanyeol asks, almost growling. Visibly afraid and seeking protection, Baekhyun has already moved behind him, counting on the soldier to keep him safe. If the situation was different, Chanyeol would maybe take pride in having gotten Baekhyun to trust him, but now, there's no time for basking in the feeling of accomplishment.

"Why wouldn't I be here?" Heojoon chuckles darkly, stepping forward slowly, provocatively. Woohyun doesn't follow, instead, the man leans against the door-frame with his arms crossed, obviously making himself comfortable as if he was preparing to stay for a longer time. _As if_ , Chanyeol thinks.

"Because you have no reason to show up. You, or Woohyun," saying that, Chanyeol takes a step forward as well, straightening up and standing tall in his full height, threatening Heojoon with the look in his eyes. It's during situations like these that Chanyeol is grateful for how tall he is, his height giving him plus points when he wants to give off a menacing vibe. Heojoon might not be shorter, but what's important is that Chanyeol isn't either, the two of them being approximately of the same height, and thus, Chanyeol doesn't have to feel like he's something less. "I told you last time-"

"A lot of things have changed since then, though," the way Heojoon talks is pissing Chanyeol off to no end. His voice is so light, so unbothered, so unfitting. Combined with the cocky smirk, it almost seems as if Heojoon knows something Chanyeol doesn't, his expression screaming _I have a triumph card in my sleeve_ , which is truly making Chanyeol feel uneasy.

However, not wanting to let his worries be seen, Chanyeol continues using his fierce tone while speaking, "Care to tell me about the changes, then?" he asks, a frown prominent on his face.

"I'm ecstatic to tell you about them, actually," is Heojoon's response, and there are literal sparks in the man's eyes, joyfully jumping in his dark orbs, the smug grin turning devilish. True to his words, Heojoon definitely does look ecstatic, approaching Chanyeol with slow steps and head held high. As Heojoon gets closer, Chanyeol stands his ground, not moving back an inch even when the man stops only when he's in Chanyeol's personal space, breathing into his face.

"I'm listening," dares Chanyeol, glaring daggers at the man in front of him. If looks could kill, Heojoon would be dead already.

By the way Woohyun chuckles once more before speaking it's obvious that the man is not just playing around, and that he came for something bigger than a mere game. "See, General Kim was supposed to tell you personally, but I said he doesn't have to bother because we can get the message to you instead of him," Heojoon starts, and upon hearing _General Kim_ in the sentence, Chanyeol swears his heart stops for a moment there. He tries to look composed as if the words aren't affecting him in any way, but the truth is that they are, very much, since Chanyeol can already sense where this is going, and it'd be impossible not to be affected.

On so many occasions, Chanyeol wanted to be right. So many times, he even begged the higher powers to be right because he didn't want to be embarrassed for being wrong - he hated it, so damn much - Which is why it's pretty strange, quite out of character, for Chanyeol to actually want to be wrong, and so desperately on the top of that.

But just like his prayers to be right go unheard at times, his prayer to be wrong just this once goes unheard as well.

"It was decided that the two of us are the best candidates to be assigned the job of interrogators, isn't it great?" Heojoon asks with a sly smirk, knowing Chanyeol's answer very well. "So we'll be seeing each other more frequently, it seems."

"I don't believe you," Chanyeol says, because he isn't yet prepared to acknowledge this, can't acknowledge this, and what's better than complete denial in a hope that it'll change the truth? With trying so hard to deny the reality, Chanyeol can at least ignore the panic rising inside of him for a minute longer. "You were sent out to fight in the fronts, you-"

"And we are still there," Heojoon cuts Chanyeol off with a low growl, breaking the eye-contact with him in order to direct his gaze at Baekhyun who is standing right behind Chanyeol, adding, "Because of someone being a useless hostage."

Stepping to the side to put himself between Baekhyun and Heojoon, Chanyeol says, "It wasn't his fault."

"You and I have very different opinions on this, but it's not like it happened for the first time, so let's just let it go, hm?" stopping the argument at the beginning, Heojoon must think that he's a bigger person or something - at least that's what it looks like to Chanyeol as he takes in the fellow soldier's resigned expression. "After all, I didn't come here to argue with you," really, Chanyeol thinks sarcastically, clearing being able to see that Heojoon is so glad he managed to get Chanyeol fired up so easily. "Woohyun and I have a job here. It's nothing personal."

"You fucking liar-"

"Doesn't matter if it's a lie or not; the important thing is that we're here because of having some work to do," for the first time today, Woohyun speaks up. His voice is annoyed, and when Chanyeol glances at him, he sees that Woohyun actually looks like he doesn't even want to be here, eyes closed as he's leaning against the door-frame, arms crossed on his chest. "So step aside and let us handle things."

Heojoon was playing around, and maybe that's why Chanyeol thought it's all just that - a game. He thought they are both some good actors who came here to scare the crap out of Baekhyun just for the fun of it and would leave soon after, but it's Woohyun's serious and annoyed tone that brings Chanyeol back to reality, making it clear that this is not just a game, but that it's all actually happening, and Chanyeol can do nothing but accept it. He is only a guard; he doesn't have any say in this.

Chanyeol knows all of that, but when he turns around and looks at Baekhyun, his legs just don't move, forbidding him to step aside as was requested. The boy is not stupid - he's far from that - so it's not a surprise when the understanding downs on him so quickly, Chanyeol watching the way his whole expression and body stance changes as they share a meaningful eye-contact. It's as if Chanyeol was frozen on spot after seeing Baekhyun turning even more frightened and on the verge of crying upon realizing what's happening - and what's going to happen.

However, there is no look of betrayal in his blue, teary irises, nor he seems to be blaming Chanyeol for this. He's just... scared, asking Chanyeol silently _what now?_ with his eyes, even though he doesn't expect any answer or help. The prisoner understands that Chanyeol can't help him as well as he understands that Chanyeol wants to so badly, and so he just stands there, lower lip trembling and eyes glassy. At the sight, all Chanyeol wants to do is to kick the two soldiers out of here and tuck Baekhyun back in bed where he was resting just a minute ago, and it's killing him that he simply can't.

"I-" Chanyeol starts, wanting to say something to Baekhyun, anything, but he is interrupted before he can get another word out.

"Let's get to it, then," Heojoon says, walking past Chanyeol and intending to reach out for Baekhyun. However, when the boy sees Heojoon making his way to him, he immediately takes a step back, attempting to get as far away as possible. However, Baekhyun hits a wall after the second step backwards, and his eyes widen upon realization that he can't move further. In panic, he starts looking around, desperately searching for any possible escape from danger while knowing very well that there isn't any, and Chanyeol's heart clenches painfully as he watches the scene.

During the five days, Baekhyun was trying so hard to look collected, look as if he accepted the dark future awaiting him. He was doing it for Chanyeol's sake, but also for his own, probably thinking that if he acts like this, he can be at least a little bit more prepared for the bad things that are inevitably going to be done to him. The boy, at some point, looked like he was okay with everything, but seeing him now, tears of fear already close to falling out of his eyes and trembling chin, Chanyeol knows that the more okay the prisoner looked, the more afraid he was.

While Chanyeol is pitying Baekhyun and feels like the worst human being ever for not being able to help the boy in any way without receiving a punishment, Heojoon, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying the way Baekhyun is close to having a panic attack. The soldier even laughs at the poor thing that's already becoming one with the wall, clearly satisfied with this reaction, and takes one swift step toward Baekhyun before grabbing his forearm strongly and tugging him along. It's then, when Heojoon touches him, that Baekhyun starts to struggle, attempting to yank his arm away with all his might.

It's not even a second later that Baekhyun receives a strong slap across his right cheek, the sound of skin being hit so hard echoing in the room, accompanied by a yelp that escapes the boy's lips as he falls on the ground.

Chanyeol's immediate reaction is to step forward in order to put a stop to this meaningless violence, but only an angry _what are you doing?!_ has time to fall out of his mouth before he is pulled backwards, Woohyun telling him to let it go. "It doesn't matter," the fellow soldier says. "He's gonna have to take worse today, anyway." And it's definitely true; the slap is only a light start, there are worse things coming. However, this hit was simply pointless, Heojoon doing it just because he could, and that Chanyeol can't accept. The fact that Baekhyun has to deal with one more extra hit just because Heojoon felt like slapping him is unacceptable.

Grabbing a handful of Baekhyun's black locks and forcefully tugging the prisoner upwards, Heojoon glances at fuming Chanyeol with a smirk. "Didn't I tell you the last time, Chanyeol..?" he snorts. "That you are going to regret making me angry."

  
  


Baekhyun doesn't know anything - that's what the boy keeps repeating after every hit, the words being spoken again and again like a mantra between his cries. Unfortunately though, the two soldiers don't believe him, and while Woohyun is simply leaning against the wall next to the chair Baekhyun is sitting on - is tied to, more specifically - Heojoon keeps hurting the prisoner, switching up between mental torture and physical pain every ten minutes.

Heojoon enjoys it, that much is clear. It almost looks like he doesn't even care about not getting anything out of Baekhyun - he only wants to keep hitting him, venting out his failure and frustration on the poor thing that just cries and cries, begging them to let him go because he doesn't know anything. Chanyeol is disgusted every time Heojoon seemingly starts to glow when Baekhyun repeats the same answer about being completely unaware of the war plans of South Korea, and even more so when Heojoon gifts Baekhyun with another slap or punch afterwards.

The fucker is literally looking forward to hitting Baekhyun, wanting him to say that he doesn't know anything just so he could hurt him.

Chanyeol doesn't even know how he's able to keep himself from interfering, because his leg twitches in a want to move every second. The twitching is triggered by Baekhyun's pained whimpers and yelps, never ending crying and the pitiful, small sound of his voice when he speaks, trying to make them both believe that he doesn't know a single important thing. There is also the sound of the slaps and punches Baekhyun receives that's making Chanyeol's hands ball in fists, his knuckles turning white and nails digging into the skin of his palm from anger.

He wonders how come that while Baekhyun is the one getting hurt, Chanyeol also feels the pain with every hit directed at the boy. Of course, it's nowhere near what Baekhyun must feel, but Chanyeol swears there is this dull ache seizing his whole body, occasionally pierced by actual pain as his heart seems to be repeatedly ripped out of his chest. The feeling of helplessness and guilt keeps eating him from inside, and it's not long before Chanyeol tastes blood on his tongue, accidentally splitting his lower lip because of how strong he was biting into it to keep himself from yelling at them to get out and never come near Baekhyun again.

At one point, Woohyun comes to stand next to him, casually stringing up a conversation as if he was blind to the fact that Chanyeol is close to exploding. "This isn't getting anywhere," he says, running a hand through his hair in a passive-aggressive way. "He won't say anything."

"Maybe because he doesn't know anything," Chanyeol tells the soldier without turning to him, feeling like he would punch him if he were to look into his face. Woohyun might have not touched Baekhyun more than a handful of times - and it wasn't even as violent as Chanyeol had expected of him - but it doesn't mean that Chanyeol intends to be friendly. The best he can do is accept Woohyun's momentary company while wishing for the man to leave again as soon as possible.

It has always been like this between them, since Woohyun has a very one-of-a-kind personality. One time he is nonchalant and generally doesn't care, but then when he's in a bad mood he'll let everyone feel it, not caring if he hurts someone in the process. It's impossible to like him because of that, since Chanyeol can never forgive Woohyun for things he had one when he was in a bad mood, but on the other hand, he doesn't hate the man to the core because there is at least something good in him. Or at least it seems so, since he's always hanging around Heojoon who is literal evil on two legs.

"He must," pushes Woohyun. "Because if he doesn't, this all is completely useless, and I'm not in for another scolding and punishment."

Another difference between Woohyun and Heojoon is that Woohyun is actually focused on the task at hand, taking his work seriously and wanting to get it done. Even now, his goal isn't beating Baekhyun up into a pulp, but getting the important information out of him, which is clear by the way he behaves, all calm and serious while trying to actually talk to Baekhyun instead of hitting him continuously even after seeing that it has no effect.

"What if he truly doesn't know, though? You're hurting him without a reason, then," Chanyeol can't help but state the obvious, voice low and dangerous.

"It's the risk I'm willing to take," saying that, Woohyun sighs deeply after Chanyeol only frowns. "Your soft heart probably hasn't realized yet, but he's an enemy, and if it really comes down to him having no idea about anything, then at least there will be one less South brat running around. Get it into your head already; this is a war, not a playground."

"He's basically a kid, Woohyun," Chanyeol grits his teeth.

"Suang was killed by a eighteen year old a week ago," Woohyun counters, side-glancing Chanyeol. "So no, his age doesn't matter."

Chanyeol doesn't answer, staying silent as he looks at Baekhyun. The boy doesn't even have enough energy to keep himself up, and if he wasn't tied to the chair, he would probably fall down from it. Chanyeol can't see his face all that clearly, since Baekhyun's hair is covering it, but he is sure there are more bruises than he can count, given how many hits the boy had taken already. It's only a minute later that the soldier actually confirms his worries for himself, being able to see the beaten-up face of the boy after Heojoon grabs a hold of Baekhyun's black locks, mercilessly tugging at them to make Baekhyun look up.

Chanyeol's fists clench even more at the sight of Baekhyun's face being swollen, bloody and full of colors. In the dim lighting, the boy's skin glistens, not only because of the crimson liquid flowing out of his wounds in a thin stream, but also because of the tears that have made their way down his cheeks, wetting them. Baekhyun's eyes are barely open, the boy visibly having a hard time keeping his eye-lids from falling down, but it's not like Heojoon cares as he orders Baekhyun to look at him, knowing the boy will do just that if he doesn't want to get hit again.

The way Baekhyun tries his best to look up while having no energy left breaks Chanyeol.

 _Nobody misses you back in South, and nobody is waiting for you to come back either, so you shouldn't feel like you'd betray anyone by telling us what you know. They already think you're dead anyway, and it's not like they care about it_ , Heojoon would utter, enjoying the way Baekhyun's eyes water. However, the boy still wouldn't say anything, not a word falling out of him - not even the over and over repeated _I don't know anything._

Seeing that this method doesn't work on the boy, Heojoon would change it, _Your father didn't think at all when he said no to our offer. Don't you want to get back at him for abandoning you completely?_ However, trying to make Baekhyun feel angry didn't get Heojoon anywhere also, since Baekhyun only looked sadder instead of wanting revenge on his father. If anything, it made Baekhyun seal his mouth more as he tried to keep the need to cry in bay, his jaw clenched while fighting the tears.

Not being able to make Baekhyun talk made Heojoon so frustrated that he opted to use force in the end - even more than in the beginning - thinking that if he hurts Baekhyun and messes up the boy, he will get what he wants. It didn't work. And so he hit Baekhyun more, shaking him on the chair and screaming at him all possible insults in the word while tugging at his hair. He said so many terrible things that Chanyeol wanted to stop him already, but knew better; if he tried to make Heojoon stop, it would only bring more damage because the guy would turn even more violent.

Chanyeol doesn't know how long he just stands there helplessly, watching Baekhyun getting beaten up while all kinds of nasty words are thrown at the boy. It sure feels like forever, seemingly endless waiting for it to stop, but Chanyeol knows it is much more horrible for Baekhyun, the poor thing being the target while Chanyeol is only the onlooker.

Chanyeol wonders how broken Baekhyun is already after everything that has been said and done to him today, and how much of an impact the insults had on the boy, if they truly got to him or if they were just things he could hear in the background between all the physical abuse. Chanyeol wishes that the disgusting things thrown at the boy didn't settle in his heart, didn't make Baekhyun believe that he is truly useless, or that his existence is pointless, but the soldier doubts that out of so many insults, at least one isn't stuck in Baekhyun's head.

Baekhyun might already be broken beyond repair, and Chanyeol wouldn't know.

  
  


It’s already noon when the two decide that it’s enough for today, walking out of the room while talking casually, leaving as if nothing even happened. They might be frustrated that Baekhyun haven’t talked, but they aren’t all that bothered, given that there’s a possibility to come back in the future and try again. This day wasn’t anything special for them – it could be considered interesting, maybe, since it’s a change to their everyday life, but aside from that, it was truly nothing worth noting in the calendar.

However, it’s an entirely different story for Baekhyun. For him, today will be definitely remembered very well. The boy might not have a date to connect with this day, but the events of it are what’s going to be stuck in his head, in his heart, in his soul, forever. Baekhyun will never be able to forget this traumatizing experience.

And when it comes to Chanyeol, the soldier is going to remember this day too, for the helplessness he felt the whole time has settled so deep in him that there’s no way the feeling will disappear anytime soon. It’s here to stay – if not forever, then for the near future at least.

It’s different type of helplessness from what Baekhyun must have felt today; the boy lost his power the moment he was captured, and along with it he lost every chance of being able to protect himself. However, Chanyeol is, or at least could be considered, powerful. To say it bluntly, he’s the one having the upper hand over the prisoner, and could do anything to him if he wished because Baekhyun wouldn’t be strong enough to fight back, not after so many days of not eating properly and sleeping so little. Currently, Chanyeol is so much stronger than Baekhyun, but not only that – he’s stronger than most of his peers or fellow soldiers as well, thanks not only to his fighting abilities and physical built, but also thanks to his family background.

Yes, Chanyeol could definitely be considered powerful. But what of it if he can’t use the strength he possesses when it matters? He and Baekhyun, they are supposed to be standing on opposite sides of a riff, so why did it feel like they were both not only standing on the same side today, but were also falling down from the riff together?

Chanyeol wonders what is worse; losing power completely and knowing it, or having the power but not being able to use it the way we want.

It doesn’t really matter, though. Not when Baekhyun is already close to passing out, still tied to the chair with his clothes having drops of red on them from how the blood fell down Baekhyun’s face, staining the long-sleeved shirt and later on his pants as well.

It doesn’t matter because Chanyeol is sure as hell not procrastinating about things like that when he can finally, finally, help the boy.

It’s hard to move from the spot he was standing on the whole time. Getting closer to Baekhyun is even harder though, almost proving to be impossible because with every step taken toward the boy, Chanyeol feels more and more guilty for suddenly being so powerless. He knows he shouldn’t feel this way – Baekhyun has told him personally – but Chanyeol truly can’t help it, especially when the boy looks up when he hears Chanyeol’s careful, approaching steps, their eyes meeting.

His eyes are bloodshot from all the crying, face so messed up that it physically hurts looking at him, but despite it all, Baekhyun smiles.

And Chanyeol’s eyes water the very second Baekhyun does that, because this is not the same shy half-smile the boy gives him when they are together in this room, just the two of them talking quietly as Chanyeol leans against the wall and Baekhyun wraps himself up in the blankets, only his pretty eyes poking out. This isn’t even a smile, it’s an ugly grimace with which Baekhyun is so desperately trying to hide that he is breaking – or maybe is broken already.

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything as he walks over to Baekhyun, mostly because apart from not knowing what to say, there is a huge lump in his throat that‘s just making it impossible to speak. The soldier even averts his gaze from the blue irises as he approaches the tied-up prisoner, looking down in shame that comes with proving to be completely useless when Baekhyun needed his help the most.

As Chanyeol focuses his eyes on the knot instead of the cement floor, he can feel Baekhyun’s intense stare on him. It’s like Baekhyun is begging Chanyeol to look up, to look at him, and yet Chanyeol can’t fulfill the subtle but at the same time blunt request, too guilty to meet the blue eyes.

 _I did this as well_ , Chanyeol can’t help but think. _It’s my fault as well._

"It isn’t your fault,“ Chanyeol’s ears catch a quiet whisper, and his hands stop at the sound, frozen on the almost-untied knot. Biting into his lower lip, the soldier feels slight pain as his teeth touch the exact spot at which his lip is already split from how he had been biting it since lunch. "It really isn’t.“

Again, Chanyeol doesn’t say anything. However, he collects enough courage to look up, finally making eye-contact with the boy.

They are close, maybe only two inches away, and while looking into Baekhyun’s beautiful orbs, Chanyeol wonders if the color of ocean is as pretty as the boy’s blue eyes. He has never seen ocean, or sea, but he has heard enough about it from people who have, and if its color is the same as the one of Baekhyun’s eyes... it must truly be a beautiful sight.

How ironic; that the most magnificent eyes Chanyeol has ever seen in his entire life hide so much pain behind the breathtaking beauty. They might be pretty, a color of ocean and sea, so pure and innocent, but at the same time they are so pained, holding so much sorrow that Chanyeol physically feels it from the gaze.

"I’m sorry,“ Chanyeol blurts out, not being able to hold it back anymore while looking at Baekhyun. "I’m sorry for all of this.“

 _It’s not your fault_ , is what Baekhyun wants to say, the words already on the tip of his tongue – Chanyeol can sense it, from the way Baekhyun opens his mouth to the way his eyes soften - but instead of repeating what he was telling the soldier for the past few days, Baekhyun stays silent and simply looks at Chanyeol, his eyes watering in a millisecond. His chin and lower lip start to tremble, and it takes just a short moment before the whole “I'm okay” facade crumbles down like a house of cards, a loud sob escaping the boy's mouth. The rope falls out of Chanyeol's hands the very second the first tear rolls down Baekhyun's injured cheek, and it's shortly after that that the boy falls forward, having no energy to hold himself up now when the ropes aren't doing the job of keeping his back glued to the chair.

Chanyeol catches him, arms wrapping around the small body as Baekhyun falls on him, chin digging into his shoulder blade. The sobs coming from the petite male echo in the silent room, every single one of them piercing through Chanyeol's heart, just as every little shake of Baekhyun's body. Despite hating the sound of the boy crying, Chanyeol lets him and simply holds him, not too strongly because he doesn't want to hurt Baekhyun's already damaged body, but also not too loosely because he wants to let Baekhyun know that he's here and that he's not leaving.

"I'll take care of you," Chanyeol whispers close to the boy's ear, his voice as gentle as his large palms going up and down Baekhyun's back soothingly. The only response he gets is another sob, but from the way Baekhyun snuggles closer to him, Chanyeol guesses that his words are appreciated.

  
  


It takes minutes for Baekhyun to stop crying. Chanyeol holds him the whole time though, having the boy safely wrapped in his arms with no intention of letting go. His knees start to hurt after some time from so much pressure put on them, but Chanyeol ignores the pain, rubbing circles into the male's back while his own eyes are full of tears that he doesn't want to shed - Baekhyun was the strong one the whole time, now it's Chanyeol's turn. And so, the soldier keeps hugging the boy tenderly, sometimes whispering something in Baekhyun's ear but mostly giving Baekhyun silent comfort.

When Baekhyun calms down, Chanyeol carefully picks him up, carrying him to the bathroom bridal style while making sure not to touch any of the places where there could possibly be a bruise. There, he puts Baekhyun on one of the chairs slowly, quickly getting all of the things he used to treat the prisoner last time. There is not much Chanyeol can do with the shortage of supplies and lack of wider medic knowledge, but he really tries his best, relying on his memories from when he had seen medics treating his wounds in the past.

Baekhyun doesn't stop whimpering in pain during the whole process, letting out a hurt sigh every single time Chanyeol touches his face, no matter how gentle the soldier is. Chanyeol isn't surprised, of course he's not, but he truly wishes he could be quicker with it so Baekhyun doesn't have to suffer like this anymore. It truly hurts to see the boy like that. "You're doing great," Chanyeol sometimes whispers in encouragement, praising Baekhyun, which always results in Baekhyun giving him the tiniest of smiles.

After getting rid of the blood, Chanyeol is able to see just how injured Baekhyun's face is - which is a lot. Thanks to how pale Baekhyun's skin is normally, the bruises are incredibly clear and visible, just like the angry cuts, making the boy's face look like a painting canvas. The worst, though, is the upper left half because the swelling around the male's eye is so bad that Baekhyun can't even open it properly, and there is another incredibly large bruise right under it, going across Baekhyun's whole cheek. Chanyeol wants to curse at the sight but holds the nasty words back, being certain that it wouldn't help the situation, nor Baekhyun.

"I have to take off your clothes," Chanyeol says softly, looking up into the blue eyes as he waits for permission. When Baekhyun nods slightly, Chanyeol starts taking off the piece of clothing, holding Baekhyun's hands up, knowing that the boy doesn't have enough strength to do it himself. Surprisingly, there are no serious injuries, just a small bruise that has been marking Baekhyun's body since the encounter with Woohyun and Heojoon from five days ago. However, there is blood on his neck and collarbones, and so Chanyeol wets one of towels in warm water and starts wiping it away, tilting Baekhyun's head up just the tiniest bit. The warm water must feel good, since Baekhyun, for the first time today, doesn't sigh in pain, but in something akin to comfort, content maybe. And so, after the blood is wiped away, Chanyeol takes another towel soaked in warm water and starts washing Baekhyun's upper body, looking up from time to time to make sure Baekhyun isn't uncomfortable with what Chanyeol's doing. However, the boy looks anything but uneasy, which makes Chanyeol very relieved.

Firstly, Chanyeol takes Baekhyun's hand in his gently, thumb caressing the pretty, slender fingers as he outstretches the boy's arm, wiping at Baekhyun's skin with the towel slowly. Then, he does exactly that with the other arm, but this time his mind focuses more on the softness of Baekhyun's hand as he holds it. Chanyeol can feel a few small scars under his fingertips that grace Baekhyun's skin, but aside from those scars, the boy's hand is surprisingly soft, velvety even. Fleetingly, he wonders if it's only Baekhyun's hands that are so soft, or if the rest of him is like this as well.

Pushing the thought aside, Chanyeol lets go of the hand and wets the towel again before moving it to Baekhyun's chest, feeling slightly hot all of sudden. It only gets worse as Baekhyun breathes out quietly in content when the warm towel makes contact with his body, and just then Chanyeol realizes how intimate this actually is. Baekhyun might not be completely naked, as he is when he's getting into the bath, but his whole upper body is bare and Chanyeol's touching it - with a towel, but still, it feels personal nonetheless. How must Baekhyun feel about it, when Chanyeol himself is so embarrassed?

Trying to ignore the feeling inside his chest, Chanyeol gulps down the lump that has created in his throat as he goes lower with the towel, washing the boy's stomach and sides. He notices that Baekhyun has a rather thin waist and that his stomach is flat, which makes Chanyeol wonder if it has always been like that, or if it's caused by the small amounts of food Baekhyun's been getting lately. Assuming it's the latter, Chanyeol immediately starts thinking of all the possibilities to get Baekhyun bigger portions, not wanting him to lose even more weight. There has to be a way, after all, even if Baekhyun is not considered special anymore.

It's only a minute later, when Chanyeol is getting ready to wash Baekhyun's back as well, that the boy shivers slightly under his hands, shrinking to himself a little. Realizing that Baekhyun must be getting cold, the soldier puts the towel back in the bucket and says, "You'll take a bath in the morning, sounds good?"

Baekhyun always takes baths in the evening, on every second day, but Chanyeol isn't very sure if putting Baekhyun in a bath now would be a good idea, since the boy seems ready to pass out - from being tired or from being in pain, Chanyeol doesn't know - and Chanyeol doesn't want him to lose consciousness and possibly drown. Besides, from what Chanyeol has heard, warm water isn't good for new bruises either, so even if Baekhyun was in a state to take a bath, it wouldn't do his injuries any good.

Taking a dry towel in hand, Chanyeol quickly wipes away the drops of water on the boy's body and then drapes his own thick jacket over Baekhyun's shoulders, the piece of clothing shielding him from the cold. It might have bloody stains on the outside on the place where Baekhyun laid his head, but on the inside it's perfectly clean, and it'll definitely do the job of keeping Baekhyun warm for the time being. The jacket is much larger than Baekhyun's body as well, so at least it'll cover him more.

After applying the same ointment as before on the cuts on Baekhyun's face and putting a small bandage on every one of them, the soldier whispers, "Let's get you to bed." Saying that underneath his breath, Chanyeol looks Baekhyun in the eyes for the first time in a while, and he doesn't know if he should be surprised or not upon finding Baekhyun staring directly back at him, blue orbs boring into Chanyeol's brown ones. The gaze is so intense and so... strange, that Chanyeol is simply unable to look away for some time, feeling the need to catch at least a glimpse of Baekhyun's emotions in the blue irises, so he can understand why is this look so different from the previous ones.

However, it's of no use. Chanyeol can't figure out a single thing, no matter how long he stares into Baekhyun's eyes.

All this time, Chanyeol was able to read Baekhyun like an open book, the boy's emotions out there for everyone to see, but this time it's completely different. It's not like Baekhyun is hiding what he feels, no; it seems more like Baekhyun himself can't get his thoughts and emotions together, staring at Chanyeol as if he himself was looking for the answer to his questions.

"Is something wrong?" Chanyeol asks after some time worried. "If I made you uncomfo-"

"No," Baekhyun shakes his head. "You didn't," comes a while later. Then, out of blue, the boy moves forward and before Chanyeol can react, Baekhyun has his forehead against his, blue eyes closed as he lets out a sigh. "I'm just thankful," he whispers, sounding tired, his warm breath ghosting over Chanyeol's lips that are literally just an inch away - if not less - from Baekhyun's. Positively, Chanyeol's heart does a double flip, his body feeling hot all over again because of the close proximity. "Very thankful."

Chanyeol gulps and licks his lips, not knowing what to say or do, because Baekhyun is close, so close. Their foreheads and noses are touching, Baekhyun's exhales tickling Chanyeol's face, and Chanyeol feels his heart rate quickening when he realizes that there is so little space between their lips. The realization is too much, making Chanyeol's mind wander to places it hasn't been to before, pushing forward many questions at the same time which makes his head spin.

What is this?

He's so close..

Why would he do this?

What is on his mind?

...What would happen if I-

Chanyeol doesn't even let himself finish, stopping his thoughts immediately when he feels it's getting out of hand. He has never thought about Baekhyun in this way, never wondered how would his lips feel like against his own, and he is sure as hell not starting now. Yes, Baekhyun is beautiful, but Chanyeol has never dared to go deeper than that, because it simply felt wrong to let his mind wander to these kinds of things when the boy had trembled with fear every time Chanyeol as much as looked at him. Making Baekhyun calm down was the number one priority, so Chanyeol didn't even have time to actually think about the prisoner in this light, too busy trying to get Baekhyun to trust him.

And although now he, theoretically, has time to think about these things and also has Baekhyun's trust, Chanyeol still doesn't feel right about imagining himself kissing Baekhyun, nor going further than that. The poor boy has been through hell today, and Chanyeol would be not only crazy but also disgusting to even fleetingly think about trying to initiate something during such a difficult time. Baekhyun was most likely just seeking comfort of the only person he can turn to in this place - he was definitely not looking for any advances. Christ, Baekhyun would never do that, a voice in Chanyeol's head says, and Chanyeol agrees wholeheartedly. The last thing the boy would want is for his captor to kiss him or, god forbid, touch him.

Not like Chanyeol would - touch Baekhyun, that is. Even if the soldier got to a point when he looks at Baekhyun and feels lustful one day, he would never dare to actually reach out and try something dirty, knowing very well that Baekhyun wouldn't want it. It disgusts Chanyeol so much, the sole idea of forcing himself on Baekhyun or on anyone in general - in any way, and simply thinking about it makes him feel uneasy.

No, he would never step on Baekhyun's trust like that.

And with this in mind, thinking that as much as imagining himself kissing Baekhyun for a fleeting moment is the same as playing with the boy's trust, Chanyeol locks all similar thoughts away. _It's just not right_ , he says to himself.

"You don't have to be," Chanyeol whispers, but then realizes that Baekhyun doesn't hear him anymore - he is already asleep. It makes Chanyeol wonder if Baekhyun fell asleep that fast or if he has been pondering about wrong and right too long. Either way, it doesn't change the fact that Baekhyun is in dreamland already, and that he has to get the boy to bed. After all, he can't - and won't - let him sleep on a chair in the bathroom.

And so, Chanyeol grabs him by shoulders gently and pulls away slowly, picking the boy up bridal style again as he walks back to Baekhyun's room with the boy in his arms. There, he puts Baekhyun on the bed carefully and covers him with blanket, leaving the thick jacket draped over the boy's sleeping form - it's getting colder every night, and he can't have Baekhyun sleeping in nothing but pants underneath the blanket because it would eventually lead to him getting sick, which Chanyeol doesn't want to happen. It'll be just for today anyway, because tomorrow Chanyeol will get Baekhyun a new, clean shirt that is hopefully at least a little warmer than his previous one.

"Goodnight," the soldier whispers without expecting a reply, chancing one last look at Baekhyun's sleeping face before turning around and walking away, making his way to his own room across the hall.

  
  


Without his jacket it's quite cold, but instead of worrying about catching a cold himself, Chanyeol only worries about Baekhyun, the boy's sleeping face popping up in his mind as he keeps asking himself if there could already be a broken soul underneath that peaceful expression.

"Chanyeol, you know I can't do that," Jongin says quietly, almost whispering, so nobody in the kitchen would hear. There are ears everywhere after all, and trouble can arise if someone so happened to hear their conversation.

"Please, Jongin. Just this one time," begging, Chanyeol steps closer to Jongin, desperate. "I didn't take any portions for dinner yesterday. All I'm asking is a little more for breakfast. Not for me, but for the boy. He's getting thinner, and yesterday-"

"I can't do it," Jongin shakes his head. "You know the rules; you can't ask for more now even if you haven't taken your meal the last time. It's not allowed," as if Chanyeol didn't know, Jongin explains curtly, leaving no room for argument. However, the cook's tough facade falls when Chanyeol continues to gaze at him with a pleading look, not giving up yet. Instead, it seems that he stares at Jongin even more imploringly after getting a no, making Jongin feel bad for not willing to help.

"Jongin, come on.." Chanyeol trails off, not wanting to back down. The man is the only one who can lend him a hand in this difficult situation, being something like Chanyeol's only real friend around here. It's not like Chanyeol has bad relations with people, it's just that he is very careful of whom he labels as his friends. However, Jongin is deserving of the title - not because he has done something heroic, but because he has always been there when Chanyeol needed help with something. It's the little things that count, after all.

Groaning, Jongin runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "See, you're doing it again. You're making me feel guilty," he complains.

"Then just help me. Please," Chanyeol insists.

"It'll cause trouble. If someone finds out-"

"They beat him up yesterday," at first, Chanyeol didn't want to bring up yesterday's events, but now he sees that it's needed if he wants to persuade Jongin. The man might look unyielding, but he has a soft heart also, and while Chanyeol doesn't like using this weakness against him, there seems to be no other way now. "I had to take care of him, that's why I missed dinner. He's in a really bad condition, and the least I can do is this, so please Jongin, help me out."

Just as expected, Jongin takes a deep inhale and turns away from Chanyeol, sorrow written all over his face. The soldier feels bad for troubling his only friend like that, guilt-tripping him into agreeing to this, but he promises to make it up to Jongin in the future somehow when an occasion comes.

"I get it, he's hurt and hungry, but Chanyeol.. you can get in trouble with this - you can get me in trouble as well," Jongin says as he breathes out, finger tapping against the wooden table top. "From what I can see, you've gotten too attached to that boy - and of course I'm not judging you, I know how you are, but this is problematic."

Jongin knows some things about Baekhyun, but it's not much. Chanyeol has only told his friend about how scared Baekhyun was when they brought him here, and also how guilty he felt after Baekhyun had gotten beaten up, but that's roughly it. There are still so many things Chanyeol didn't have time to tell him though, one of them being, for example, the prisoner's name - that's why Jongin opts to call Baekhyun _that boy_ when it comes down to it.

Basically, Jongin doesn't know a lot of things, but he still sees, even from the little he has heard, that Chanyeol is already attached to Baekhyun, which is both bad and good. However, Chanyeol would say that it's more on the good side, since his friend can at least believe Chanyeol when he says that he's serious about this, that he's not playing around when he asks for help.

"Attached or not, I'm just trying to help when I can."

"Well, now you can't help."

"I would be able to, though," Chanyeol pushes, feeling that he's very close to getting to Jongin. "It's really just this once. You know I wouldn't be asking you this if I wasn't sure about it."

"It's never just once with you," Jongin rolls his eyes, certainly done with Chanyeol already, but he lets himself be persuaded in the end, agreeing to help. Chanyeol truly couldn't be happier, and he lets his satisfaction show through a large smile that appears on his face a moment later, the soldier unable to keep his gratefulness hidden. "Cut it out, would you? Someone will notice," Jongin scolds him right away, but there is a hint of smile on his lips too, even though it's barely visible. "Wait outside. I will snatch two more potatoes, but that's all I can do."

"Okay."

Then, Jongin turns away and returns to the kitchen, leaving Chanyeol standing alone outside of the building. Not having anything to do, Chanyeol leans against the rough wall as he waits, hands in pockets. It's pretty cold outside, especially without his jacket on - the jacket is still in Baekhyun's possession, and in a fear of waking the boy up, Chanyeol has decided to just go without it - but whatever. He can deal with this weather just fine, his body being quite immune to cold, even more so now than when he was a child.

 _I have to get Baekhyun a new shirt_ , Chanyeol remembers as his eyes scan the camp aimlessly. It's already September and it's not warm by any means anymore, so that sad excuse of a long-sleeved shirt Baekhyun had had until it was dirtied yesterday is definitely not enough to shield him from the cold. Unlike Chanyeol, the boy seems to be very sensitive to cold weather, if the way he trembles every time he doesn't have a blanket wrapped around himself is enough of an indication, and so he needs thicker clothes.

If Chanyeol doesn't find anything that is deemed okay, he even thinks of letting Baekhyun have the jacket while he asks for a new one or something.

He is too lost in his thoughts to notice that Jongin is already back, and he notices his friend only when Jongin jabs his finger into his biceps, saying, "First of all, stop ignoring me when I talk to you, and second of all, the next time you go around without your jacket on, I will kill you before you even manage to freeze." The nagging tone would make Chanyeol annoyed if it was anyone else, but since it's Jongin, Chanyeol is already used to it. Jongin has been scolding him for a long time about many things regarding his health, so this doesn't really faze Chanyeol anymore. "

"Come on, it's not that cold and you know how I am when it comes to the weather," Chanyeol rolls his eyes playfully, standing up straight and coming to stand in front of his friend.

"Crazy man," Jongin comments underneath his breath, and Chanyeol wonders if it's aimed at him because of not wearing jacket, or because of risking his neck for a mere prisoner. Both, probably. "Anyway, take it and quickly disappear before anyone sees you," is what comes out of Jongin's mouth next as he thrusts two trays with food and water into Chanyeol's hands. Then, after looking around to make sure nobody's watching, he takes two potatoes wrapped in cloth out of his pocket and places them on the tray, ushering Chanyeol to leave as fast as possible. The soldier has time to only say _thank you_ before Jongin disappears back into the building, warning him to be careful once more.

With the breakfast in hands, Chanyeol does as he is told, quickly going back to the building at the very end of the camp, making sure nobody pays to him too much attention as he practically speed-walks away from the kitchens. Good thing the kitchens and the building he lives in for now with Baekhyun aren't in the overly crowded areas, or it would be much harder than that.

Before stepping in and presenting Baekhyun with breakfast though, Chanyeol hesitates, looking down on both of the trays. The portion for Baekhyun is quite smaller than the one for Chanyeol, and while the soldier is aware of the reason why, he doesn't like it. And since he also doesn't exactly feel hungry as well, he decides that it wouldn't hurt to give Baekhyun some part of his own breakfast too. With that in mind, he puts the trays down on the cement stairs leading to the building, taking his plate in hand and using chopsticks to divide the portion in half before moving it to Baekhyun's plate instead. _Much better_ , Chanyeol thinks. But still not quite enough, he adds in his mind a few seconds later, and without much thought, he simply dumps the rest of the food on Baekhyun's plate also, peeling the potatoes and putting them beside the plate too.

Satisfied, he stands up again and walks in, putting his tray on the table in his room before turning to the door leading to Baekhyun's. This time, Chanyeol doesn't have to use his keys, since he didn't lock the door last night, and so he just slowly, carefully opens it, not wanting to make too much noise in case Baekhyun might be sleeping still. But of course, Baekhyun is already up when Chanyeol answers, sitting in his usual position on his usual spot. The only difference is that now half of the boy's face isn't covered by the blanket, but is put on display, greeted by the morning sun rays that have made their way into the room through the window high on the wall, kissing Baekhyun's bruised skin.

In the light, the damage that was done to the boy's face looks so much worse, but Chanyeol fights away the sorrow and pity that threatened to show itself in his expression. Instead of looking all gloomy, Chanyeol forces the corners of his lips to turn upwards, creating a small smile. "Good morning, angel," the soldier greets as he steps inside the room. Baekhyun's eyes are already on him, and a pleasant warmth spreads through Chanyeol's body when Baekhyun returns the smile. "Brought breakfast for you. I've already eaten mine," Chanyeol lies as he walks toward Baekhyun, putting the tray on the small wooden table right beside the bed - the table hadn't been there before, but Chanyeol took initiative and brought it here some time ago in order to make eating easier.

"...Have you?" Baekhyun questions suspiciously, glancing up from his plate which is way too full in comparison to other days.

"Yeah," Chanyeol nods, but he has never been a good liar, so his answer sounds weird and strange even to his own ears, despite it being just one word. Baekhyun must have picked up on it, too, because he doesn't start eating and decides to stare at Chanyeol instead, eyebrows raised. Seeing that Baekhyun doesn't really believe him, the soldier tries to mask his bad acting with a conversation, hoping to make his lie less obvious. "Anyway, you always wake up early," he comments, voicing out his observation from the past days. "When I come in with breakfast, you're already up."

"I don't know why... I just wake up. It's been like this since I was a kid," Baekhyun says eventually, finally averting his curious eyes away from Chanyeol.

"Oh?"

"But I like it," the boy adds, picking up the chopsticks and digging into his breakfast. "The colors of the sky are nice," Baekhyun explains, licking his chapped lips carefully, his expression scrunching up in pain when his tongue makes contact with the cut on his upper lip. "I mean, seeing the night sky changing as day comes - it's so pretty. I love the palette of colors. Also, isn't it amazing that after the darkest of nights, one of the brightest days could come? And I get to see how it happens."

"Yeah, it's amazing," Chanyeol muses, but he honestly doesn't know if he is saying that about the sky antics or about Baekhyun.

Last night, Chanyeol thought that Baekhyun might be broken already. He was afraid that the boy will stop talking and that maybe he'll start being afraid again, flinching away from Chanyeol's touches, scared to even look up at anyone because of the fear of getting hit or something. The possibility of this happening was in Chanyeol's mind the whole time yesterday, the uneasy feeling tugging at his heart not letting him sleep peacefully.

However, looking at Baekhyun now, Chanyeol realizes that the boy is much stronger than he looks despite his thin body an angelic face, and that what happened yesterday definitely didn't break him. The reminders of the previous day's events are all over his face, but Baekhyun doesn't seem fazed by it in the slightest, eating his breakfast with the same expression as, for example, three days ago. Of course, he is aware of his injuries and eats more carefully and slowly, but that's it - no signs of feeling misery or sadness. He's just... normal. As if yesterday only had an impact on his face, but not on his soul.

"Anyway," Baekhyun starts, mimicking Chanyeol's attempt to bring conversation elsewhere from a minute ago. "Where did you get so much food?" asking, the boy glances at Chanyeol from under his lashes, blue orbs meeting brown. As Chanyeol makes eye-contact with Baekhyun, he can see a strange glint in the boy's irises, and it's in that exact moment that Chanyeol knows - Baekhyun sees right through him. "I mean, since you've already eaten your breakfast, you probably wouldn't know right..?"

"I wouldn't," Chanyeol still tries to save the situation somehow, although he guesses that the way he nervously averts his eyes from Baekhyun and scratches his neck gives him away even more.

It's then, a second later after Chanyeol turns his head to the opposite direction, that his ears catch it; quiet, but nonetheless pretty sound of muffled laughter. Immediately, it takes Chanyeol by surprise, his eyes going wide because of the shock, and just as quickly as he turned his head away, he turns it back and looks directly at Baekhyun, wanting to make sure that it was indeed Baekhyun who laughed. Obviously, it was Baekhyun, but it still comes as a surprise when Chanyeol sees the boy's lit-up face with his own eyes, blue orbs full of joy. It's quite a beautiful sight, especially when the short laugh is still echoing in Chanyeol's mind.

When Baekhyun realizes what happened and that Chanyeol's full attention is on him, the boy closes his mouth right away and looks down, trying to focus on his breakfast. However, his fingers are clumsy when he tries to hold the chopsticks, and so he puts them down on the tray a second later, taking a hold of the glass with water instead. Baekhyun looks positively embarrassed, and Chanyeol doesn't know how long he kept his eyes on the guy, but he guesses that it's been pretty long, because when he realizes he's staring, Baekhyun's face is already a vibrant shade of pink - or at least those parts of his face that aren't injured.

"Uhm.." Baekhyun starts after a while, voice relatively quieter, shier. "So.. do you want to eat with me...?" he asks, visibly gulping as he tries to come up with a good phrasing. "I mean- well..." and then, in the end, comes a mumble, "You know what I mean, so.."

Chanyeol has a fleeting idea that it'd be nice to tease Baekhyun about how flustered he is - it would be a payback for Baekhyun’s teasing - but then the soldier decides against it, not wanting to make Baekhyun uncomfortable when he clearly sees that the boy is embarrassed enough for the near future. Instead, after getting over the shock, Chanyeol walks over to Baekhyun and sits next to him on the bed, not too far but not too close either. Baekhyun doesn't look at him, but he hands Chanyeol the chopsticks, careful not to touch the soldier's hand accidentally. When the chopsticks are safely in Chanyeol's grip, Baekhyun reaches for one of the peeled potatoes and focuses all of his attention on it, biting into it slowly as he pushes the plate with food closer to Chanyeol.

Honestly, Chanyeol feels like crying from how adorable this all is, from how adorable Baekhyun is. This urge gets even stronger when Baekhyun shakes off his blanket and moves it closer to Chanyeol, a clear sign of take it. "You must be cold," Baekhyun adds an explanation to his action, licking his lips again. If Chanyeol really wanted to tease, he could easily ask Baekhyun why the boy won't give him back that jacket instead, but again, he decides against because for one; he doesn't want to tease Baekhyun, not really, and also; Chanyeol is quite glad that Baekhyun likes the jacket so much that he seems to be against giving it back to Chanyeol even when now is a perfect occasion for that.

As they eat, Chanyeol can't help but go back to what Baekhyun said about how even the darkest nights could eventually turn into the brightest of days.

He wonders if what happened yesterday was one of those darkest nights for Baekhyun, and if the boy's misery disappears - or rather, is pushed to the back of his mind - same as the black of the sky is pushed aside when the Sun comes, bringing along a new day as it shines brightly. Based on Baekhyun's words and the way he behaves today - as if though his mind has cleared and his soul has been healed with the arrival of new day - Chanyeol guesses that Baekhyun is the positive, never-giving-up type of person, his motto being something along the lines of new day, new beginning, a fresh start.

It's amazing that Baekhyun can move on from such horrible events, focusing on the future and all its possibilities instead of being stuck in the past, sitting at the very bottom of a pit as he pities himself. The mental strength the boy possesses is incredible, and Chanyeol is hundred percent sure that maybe one out of all the people he knows would be able to deal with such situations the same way as Baekhyun. Baekhyun's personality is truly admirable.

However, it doesn't make Chanyeol feel as at ease as one would expect, because while the whole idea of one of the brightest days possibly coming after one of the darkest nights is nice, it doesn't mean it'll stay that way forever - eventually, inevitably, a night arrives again. It'll be dark once more, and what if it's even worse than before? Of course, then a day comes again, and then a night, and it all repeats. Day and night, day and night, day and night...

But how many dark nights can Baekhyun live through, though? After how many dark nights will come a time when Baekhyun will no longer have any strength to wait for a new day, a bright day? After all, all the negative feelings haven't disappeared just like that; they have been only pushed to the back of his mind, and nobody - even Baekhyun himself - can't know when there simply won't be any more space. To Chanyeol, it seems like standing on a thin ice that is slowly cracking while one can't do anything about it but watch and wait until it breaks underneath their feet.

Baekhyun might be strong now, but for how long?

As Chanyeol glances at the boy from the corners of his eyes, his body feeling strangely warm as he does so, he truly hopes that the ice underneath Baekhyun's feet won't crack and break that soon, though.

  


\-- 

  


They tell him to keep his eyes open, but Baekhyun can't do it. His eyelids feel incredibly heavy, and while he truly wants to listen to the order, it's physically impossible to even open his eyes, let alone keep them like that. And so, Baekhyun's eyes remain closed despite the constant yelling around him, a burning-like sensation irritating his eyelids from the inside, caused by the amount of tears he cried today. As of now, he has no more tears to shed, his eyes left dry and hurting.

It's only a second later when holding his head up proves to be impossible too, the weight of it on his neck feeling too unbearable, and Baekhyun lets it fall as his whole world spins behind closed eyelids, weird shapes and flashes of light piercing the darkness that is engulfing him. His skull feels like it's going to explode as his head falls forward from exhaustion, and the sudden ache is so intense that a whimper escapes Baekhyun's lips, mouth falling open helplessly.

Baekhyun isn't given any time to recover though, the pain only increasing as a strong hand takes a hold of his locks and forces his head up again, yelling right into his face, "I told you to keep your eyes open!" It only makes it all worse, Baekhyun's head ready to burst at the high volume that was used, but the soldier doesn't pay attention to it, screaming once more, "Open your fucking eyes!"

"..Can't," Baekhyun chokes out, tasting blood on his tongue. It makes him want to puke, his stomach even turning dangerously.

A cruel laughter echoes in the room in reply, bouncing off the walls and making Baekhyun cringe as it hits his ears. _Too loud, too loud, too loud_ , he repeats in his head, praying for silence to come in hope that it would ease his aching skull. However, his prayers go unheard, and instead of silence, a hit to his stomach is delivered, Baekhyun's lips parting to let out a silent gasp upon feeling another dose of pain pulsing through his body. The instinct is to bend over, but the grip on his hair is not allowing him to do that, forcing Baekhyun to sit straight.

"You will do what I tell you, is that clear?" there is a low growl close to his ear, but Baekhyun doesn't even grasp the words that were said fully, hearing only his own pulse in his ears by now. However, he hears what comes next, mostly because it's screamed right into his ear, "Open your eyes!"

And Baekhyun tries to follow the order this time, not wanting to get hit again. The problem is, even when his effort pays off and his eyes open shakily, it only takes a second for everything around him to get blurry. The unfocused surroundings combined with his spinning head become a horrible combination, and Baekhyun is soon forced to let his eyelids fall down again as the burning sensation is added to the mix. Although it still hurts, even like this, it's definitely better.

Baekhyun expects another hit, maybe screaming for not being able to do as he is told, but none of the two comes. Instead, a deep voice speaks up from distance, "Enough." Baekhyun's ears catch it just barely, but his heart jumps slightly in his chest because he recognizes this voice very well. "That's it for today. He's gonna lose consciousness if you continue."

After that, a short argument arises, but Baekhyun can't keep up with it, only hearing faraway voices without being able to connect the words together into a coherent sentence. It's still too loud around him though, and if his hands weren't tied behind his back, he would at least try to cover his ears to mute the voices, but like this he can only cringe at the volume as his head falls back down now when his hair is free.

He feels cold. The ground he's sitting on and the wall his back is slouched against only worsens it, but Baekhyun doesn't have any energy to move, and so he just sits there in the corner of the room, his arms already going slowly but surely numb after being tied behind his back for what could be quite a few hours by now. As if that wasn't enough, the flesh of his wrists is damaged as well, friction wounds scraping his skin raw, and while the rope feels way too tight, Baekhyun doesn't try to loosen it, afraid to injure himself further. After all, him trying to loosen the rope around his wrists was the cause of the scraped skin to begin with, and the only thing it brought was sharp pain.

Baekhyun feels cold, he is in incredible pain and he is tired as well, but when a large hand is gently placed on his bare shoulder after everything goes quiet all of sudden, everything seems just a tiny bit better. The hand is warm and the thumb that rubs circles on his skin is rather soothing, and Baekhyun breathes out through his nose in content, enjoying the skin to skin contact that is so kind, the touch not aiming to hurt him for a change. With the silence that has finally come, Baekhyun also feels the throbbing pain inside of his skull ceasing, and while the rest of his body is still hurting acutely, he is glad that at least his head doesn't feel like it's going to explode any second.

"Angel, can you talk?" a whisper comes a while later as Chanyeol slowly, carefully pulls him away from the wall. The secure arm around his back combined with the nickname makes his heart swell in fondness despite the situation, and if his whole face didn't hurt so much, Baekhyun would maybe smile. Too bad he has no energy to move his face, just like with his whole body.

"No," Baekhyun mumbles as clearly as possible, feeling like a rag doll when Chanyeol turns him around slightly in order to get to his hands. It hurts when Chanyeol cuts the rope around his wrists because of the friction that is momentarily created, but not having his hands tied anymore makes up to it, and Baekhyun tries to get a _thanks_ out of himself to show gratitude. He hopes that Chanyeol understands the slurred word.

"Don't talk, just listen to me, okay?" Chanyeol talks quietly, just loud enough to be heard. "Listen to my voice," he says, and Baekhyun does just that, lips sealed, eyes closed, but ears focused on the man's voice. "I know it's going to hurt, but I have to pick you up and carry you to the other room, so just-... just try to bear with it for a little longer, okay?"

Chanyeol's voice is nice. It's so appealing, a music to Baekhyun's ears with how deep and soft it is, holding raw emotion. Baekhyun could listen to it forever and never get bored - it would be like listening to his favorite song on repeat until his last day comes, and Baekhyun truly can't imagine anything better.

As Chanyeol picks him up, it indeed hurts. He lets out a series of quiet, pained whimpers, but the way Chanyeol is so gentle with him, so considerate of his condition; it feels as good as it feels painful. "You're doing amazing, angel. Just a little longer," the man praises him, heaving Baekhyun up into his arms. The voice combined with the nickname and this tender hold is healing Baekhyun from inside, and while he's hurting, he also feels like he's being cured at the very same time.

 _You smell nice too_ , Baekhyun thinks as he turns his head to the side, his nose briefly touching Chanyeol’s chest as he's being carried. The scent is calming, bewitching even, and in order to breathe in more, the boy ignores the slight pain that comes as his nose is pushed deeper into Chanyeol's shirt, desperate to catch more of the blissful smell.

Maybe it's thanks to how tired he is, or maybe thanks to Chanyeol's hold, voice, and smell, but Baekhyun soon feels himself drifting off. As he slowly loses consciousness, the pain disappears too, and Baekhyun is pulled into sleep that welcomes him with open arms, willing to make him escape this cruel reality for at least a short while.

The last thing he hears before he falls asleep is Chanyeol saying that he's sorry, but sadly, Baekhyun has no energy to tell the man that it's not his fault.

As Baekhyun opens his eyes slowly, he finds himself awake in the middle of the night, room dark and moon that is up on the sky lighting up his surrounding just the tiniest bit. He tries to move, but everything hurts and so he decides to stay put instead, heaving a sigh as his head falls back on the pillow, eyes closing for a bit once again. Baekhyun feels tired, but not exactly sleepy anymore. He wonders how long was he asleep to get to this point where he doesn't want to sleep anymore, but simply rest.

When Baekhyun opens his eyes again and looks around the room, his gaze focuses on something - or more like someone - he has not noticed before. It's strange that Baekhyun's eyes didn't catch the figure, since the person is just a meter away from him, head resting on top of crossed arms that are placed on the bed while the rest of the man's body is on the ground. It doesn't take a genius to guess that the person is Chanyeol, but what Baekhyun doesn't understand is why would Chanyeol be here, clearly asleep, in such a painful-looking position.

The possible answer comes to Baekhyun when he goes back to memories from a few hours ago, replaying what happened. _Did Chanyeol perhaps... stayed here after I had fallen asleep?_ Baekhyun questions in his mind, feeling a pang in his chest. But it's not the bad, painful kind, no; it's the good kind, where his whole body is momentarily seized by incredible affection. _Why would Chanyeol do that? Was he worried about me?_ With his heart beating somehow differently after realizing that yes, Chanyeol has probably stayed because he was worried, Baekhyun can't help but smile a little as he watches the soldier's sleeping face.

The only source of light is the moonlight, so it's not ideal, but Baekhyun can still make out the outlines of Chanyeol's face just fine, able to admire the man's features. With the black strands of hair falling into his forehead and plush lips slightly agape, Chanyeol looks rather handsome, all long eyelashes and strong eyebrows. What truly makes Chanyeol so stunning are his full cheeks and attention-catching ears though, because these two things mix well with the rest of his face, creating a man so attractive and different and handsome that it leaves Baekhyun breathless.

Baekhyun has been admiring Chanyeol's face for quite some time now. However, he was careful not to stare too long or Chanyeol would have noticed.

The thing that fascinates Baekhyun is how the man is able to make his face look adorable one time, and then look like a serial killer the next. One would expect that with such cute ears and cheeks, Chanyeol wouldn't be able to pull off an expression so menacing that Baekhyun would fear for his life if he were on the receiving end of the soldier's anger, but Chanyeol is doing a pretty good job of mastering all kinds of expression, it seems.

Above all though, Chanyeol's face is, for Baekhyun, the definition of _kind_?.

Baekhyun remembers the fear and the feeling of helplessness when he was brought here, and he also remembers how he feared Chanyeol too, but since that time until now, the soldier has never looked at him other than kindly. The vibes of safety came off from every expression he gifted Baekhyun with, and soon, Baekhyun warmed up to the tall man, realizing that no danger is awaiting him when it comes to Chanyeol. He was still afraid, yes, but in his heart he knew that Chanyeol wouldn't hurt him.

However, he didn't know that Chanyeol would protect him so much, care about him so much. Baekhyun didn't expect this treatment from a man who is fighting in this war on the North side, and it truly came as a surprise. A welcomed one, though. A very appreciated one, too. That's why, it hurts Baekhyun so much to see Chanyeol blaming himself for what's happening, while all Baekhyun wants to do is give him the whole world in gratitude. He seriously wonders if Chanyeol simply doesn't see how much of a help he is. He wonders if Chanyeol doesn't realize that if it was anyone else but him here, Baekhyun would be mostly likely long dead.

Why Chanyeol simply doesn't understand how special he is, and how endlessly thankful Baekhyun is for him?

Baekhyun wants to reach a hand out and brush the strands of hair away from Chanyeol's forehead, but the moment he moves, Chanyeol starts to wake up. Baekhyun watches him carefully, from how Chanyeol confusedly blinks and opens his eyes for the first time today, to how the realization hits the man as he straightens up.

Then, his eyes meet Baekhyun's, and the soldier heaves a deep sigh of relief, mumbling, "Thank God you're awake. I was so worried."

"I only fell asleep," Baekhyun mumbles back, trying to act like he wasn't flustered about Chanyeol worrying about him just a few minutes ago.

"I didn't know that," Chanyeol says, rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his hair. _Handsome_ , pops up in Baekhyun's head immediately. "How could I? I thought... I thought it was something else," admitting, Chanyeol averts his gaze elsewhere, a slight frown on his face. He seems to be frustrated. "I should have stepped in sooner. It went too far and-"

"It's okay," Baekhyun cuts him off softly, feeling courageous all of sudden as he reaches out. Chanyeol is further than Baekhyun expected though, and so his fingers only brush against the man's shoulder, but it's still enough to make Chanyeol pause and look at Baekhyun again. When Baekhyun has Chanyeol's full attention, he says, "I'm okay." Chanyeol doesn't look convinced.

"You're obviously not," comes out of the soldier's mouth.

"I'm as fine as I can be," is Baekhyun's reply, voice steady and sure as he speaks. "You did all you could, and I really, really appreciate it," he tells Chanyeol seriously, fingers hooking up in the man's shirt. It's only now that Baekhyun notices that his injured wrists are wrapped in gauze roller bandage, and his heart jumps in his chest upon the realization that it's Chanyeol's work. Once again, the soldier took care of him.

But not only that.

Baekhyun knows for sure that his shirt wasn't black before, and that it also wasn't as thick. There's no way he remembers it wrong, since the memories of him trembling in the dark of the night because of how cold he was, thin shirt unable to shield him from the horrible weather, are way too vivid for it to be just Baekhyun's imagination playing games with him. But then, where is his shirt? How-

And then, another memory comes to Baekhyun's mind; the memory of his shirt and pants being colored crimson at some places from the blood mixed with tears that streamed down his face, drops dripping down on his clothing and dirtying it. Yes, his clothes were indeed dirty, not only from the blood but also from the ground Baekhyun was lying on the whole time - he remembers it now - so does that mean that the one who dressed him into new, thicker and clean clothes was Chanyeol?

There's nobody else who would do it, so it must have been Chanyeol, Baekhyun thinks, his face flushing upon the realization that the soldier definitely saw him naked. Oh god, he internally panics, suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed and self-conscious.

However, the embarrassment is pushed to the back of his mind when he sees that Chanyeol still has the same guilt swimming in his eyes, so clear that it's visible even in such lighting. Baekhyun frowns and tugs on the sleeve of the shirt, not knowing if he is more frustrated with Chanyeol for not listening to him, or with himself for not being able to make Chanyeol listen. "Why can't you believe me? I keep saying that it's not your fault, that I'm so incredibly grateful to you, but you still blame yourself. Why?"

"Because I'm-"

"You're not a part of this," Baekhyun shakes his head, being aware of what Chanyeol was going to say. "I've never seen you as a part of this, and I have never blamed you either. Why would I even do that? Without you I'd be dead already, and nobody would care."

"Don't say it like that," Chanyeol frowns too, not liking the way Baekhyun chooses such harsh words.

"Why sugarcoat it?" voice casual, Baekhyun questions, holding the eye-contact as he tugs at Chanyeol's sleeve again, daring the soldier to answer if he knows how to. When Chanyeol stays silent a beat too long though, Baekhyun continues, fingers wrapped around the fabric as he says, "It's the truth. I have no friends, and the only living family I know about hates me - back in South, there is nobody who cares about me, and therefore, nobody would miss me. Ironically enough, the only person that seems to care about me is a man, a soldier, from North." Chuckling humorlessly, Baekhyun makes a small pause before he adds, "And that man can't even seem to realize how thankful I am, and instead, he blames himself for something that has nothing to do with him."

When Chanyeol's ears catch the way Baekhyun's voice breaks at the end of the sentence, his frown disappears, and his expression twists in a worried grimace. "Baekhyun-"

"Why can't you see?" he asks desperately, and by now, there are already tears in Baekhyun's eyes, his voice becoming more and more hoarse with every second. It's kind of embarrassing, how he just starts crying out of blue, but Baekhyun can't stop it - he always cries when he's overwhelmed with emotions, and now it's not any different. "Why can't you see that you're the only one who cares enough about me to try and keep me alive?" a quiet sob escapes his lips, and at the very same moment, the first drops of tears fall out of Baekhyun's eyes, wetting the boy's cheeks as they fall down.

With a frustrated huff, Baekhyun turns his head to the side and breaks the eye-contact, staring at the wall on the other side of the room, the grip on Chanyeol's shirt tightening as Baekhyun tries to calm himself down. He hates when people see him cry, for no particular reason. He just doesn't like it, even more now when he surely looks like a complete mess, his face all bruised and swollen.

Baekhyun bites the insides of his cheeks when he feels warm fingers on his, the urge to cry suddenly doubling. Once again, Chanyeol's touch is so gentle, feathery-like but at the same time strong enough to make its presence known, and Baekhyun loosens his grip on the man's shirt unconsciously, his now-relaxed hand falling on the sheets together with Chanyeol's one. "Don't cry," Chanyeol says softly before moving closer to Baekhyun and wiping away the tears, careful not to put pressure on the bruises on the boy's face.

"Then stop being stupid," Baekhyun whispers with slightly pursed lips, afraid that if he'd talk louder, his voice would break again.

Chanyeol chuckles, probably amused with Baekhyun's straightforwardness, and squeezes Baekhyun's hand a little before saying, "I'll stop being stupid if you stop crying."

After Baekhyun's face is relatively free of tears, Chanyeol moves his hand lower, resting it on the side of Baekhyun's neck, long fingers tangling themselves into the black locks. The touch sends shivers down Baekhyun's spine, and he can't help but close his eyes and lean into Chanyeol's hand, liking the warmth.

"Do you promise?" he asks, squeezing Chanyeol's hand as well. It feels nice.

It's been a long time since someone held his hand with the same fondness as Chanyeol - it's been a long time since someone held his hand, period. The last person who intertwined their fingers with his was Baekhyun's mother on her death-bed, and that was quite some time ago. Years, actually, and as time passed, Baekhyun kind of forgot all about the comfort such physical contact could bring.

"If it makes you stop crying, then yes," Chanyeol answers, and while Baekhyun can't be sure about the worth of the promise, he wants to believe that Chanyeol will stay true to his words. Not because of himself, but because of Chanyeol; the man's heart will surely feel more at ease if he stops blaming himself for all this.

"Okay," Baekhyun nods, taking a deep breath. Now when the problem is - or at least seems to be - out of the way, the urge to cry slowly but surely fades away. "Okay.." he repeats, opening his eyes again, gaze falling on the man in front of him. Chanyeol is smiling slightly, moonlight casting shadows on one part of his face that it can't reach, and Baekhyun can't help but stare at the man shamelessly, the word _handsome_ popping up in his mind again. However, Baekhyun doesn't stare at Chanyeol only to admire his features; as appealing as Chanyeol's face is, Baekhyun can't avert his gaze more because of the way Chanyeol looks at him, smiles at him so fondly - it truly calms Baekhyun down, making him feel safe even though he's far from that.

"Go back to sleep now," Chanyeol says and caresses Baekhyun's jaw with his thumb, careful not to touch any of the bruises. "You need to rest."

"You too," Baekhyun points out, subtly moving to the edge of the bed just to be closer to Chanyeol who is currently sitting cross-legged on the ground beside the bed. When the distance between them becomes smaller, Baekhyun's heart starts beating the tiniest bit faster upon the realization that now they are indeed much closer, their faces only a few inches apart. Baekhyun doesn't know why he feels so thrilled about the close proximity or why did he feel like moving closer to Chanyeol, but what he knows is that this definitely doesn't give him any unpleasant emotions.

In fact, there is one part of Baekhyun, curious and bold, that wants Chanyeol way more closer, but the boy doesn't dare to act upon this strange urge, ignoring it as best as he can. It proves to be rather hard though, especially when Chanyeol keeps caressing Baekhyun's jaw with his thumb, careful enough not to touch any of the bruises, and also keeps holding Baekhyun's hand like it can break any time if he squeezes it too much.

This all makes Baekhyun feel like he is cared for, and he hasn't felt like this for a few years now.

"I won't be able to fall asleep if you're awake," is Chanyeol's response in the end.

"But-"

"No buts," Chanyeol cuts him off softly. "Go to sleep."

"I'm not sleepy."

"You're such a kid," shaking his head, Chanyeol chuckles. He lets go of Baekhyun's hand a second later and Baekhyun is ready to protest, but it seems he doesn't have to because after pulling the blanket over Baekhyun, Chanyeol intertwines their fingers again. "I'll stay here until you're asleep, then I'll go to sleep too. Sounds okay?"

"I'm really not sleepy," Baekhyun whines, but in reality, he can feel that if he tried, sleep could take over him.

"Looks like I must stay here to keep you company the whole night then," says Chanyeol with this mischievous spark in his eyes, and Baekhyun knows exactly what the soldier is trying to do. The boy even opens his mouth to call Chanyeol out on it, but then stops himself after realizing that he doesn't have the slightest idea about how he to phrase what's on his mind. _You're using my feelings for you to your advantage_ , should he say, and risk Chanyeol asking _and what are your feelings?_

Baekhyun doesn't think he's ready to answer this kind of question, especially now when he's suddenly feeling so many new things, and so, to escape from being asked such questions, he decides to listen to Chanyeol. "Fine," he agrees, closing his eyes with a pout on his lips. Even with closed eyes, Baekhyun knows that Chanyeol is still smiling, and again, it makes his whole body warm for unknown reasons, even though his mood is slightly dampened when the soldier lets go of his neck, leaving Baekhyun cold on the place that was occupied by a warm hand before.

"Goodnight," bids Chanyeol, and Baekhyun can feel the mattress bending as Chanyeol leans his head on it. Clearly, Chanyeol is actually tired as hell but keeps playing a tough man who doesn't need any sleep, and being aware of that, Baekhyun tries to relax and fall asleep as soon as possible so Chanyeol can go to sleep as well. It isn't that difficult, given the comfort and affection he has received, his heart feeling so much more at ease now.

It takes a few minutes, but Baekhyun is able to fall asleep again, accompanied by Chanyeol's calming presence and the soldier's warm hand holding his securely. Fleetingly, Baekhyun thinks that if he is really going to die, it might not be that bad as long as Chanyeol is there with him, intertwining their fingers with the same fondness as he is now.

  


\--

  


The next day, Chanyeol greets Baekhyun with _good morning, angel_ as he steps into the room, carrying a tray with food and water. Baekhyun is already up, as expected, and Chanyeol puts the tray with breakfast on the small table beside the bed, sitting next to the boy to keep him company during the meal. When Baekhyun starts to eat, Chanyeol watches him carefully, looking over the boy's injured face, all the damage that was done clear in the daylight, and he wonders how long will it take for the bruises and cuts to heal. Chanyeol wishes that the answer to his silent question would be _soon_ , so Baekhyun doesn't have to deal with the pain that comes every time he as much as wants to blink, or open his mouth to eat.

"You know," Baekhyun starts, slim fingers circling around the glass as he brings it to his lips, drinking the water slowly. "In the past, some people used to call me angel too," the boy reveals, but he doesn't seem to be all that happy about the nickname. If something, he seems to be sad about it, as if it brought the worst memories. "And I hated it so much. I still hate it, to be honest," as Baekhyun continues, Chanyeol starts feeling bad, already opening his mouth to tell Baekhyun that he can stop if Baekhyun doesn't like the nickname. However, before Chanyeol can do that, Baekhyun turns to him with a sweet, shy smile hidden partly behind the glass, and says, "But I really like it when you do it; when you call me like that."

While one part of Chanyeol is basking in happiness upon hearing Baekhyun's words, the second part of Chanyeol is conflicted, desperate to know why Baekhyun hated the nickname so much. And so, not being able to hide his curiosity, Chanyeol asks about it. "Why do you hate it?" he questions warily. Is asking so straightforwardly too bold? Maybe, Chanyeol doesn't know, but thinking that it might be, he quickly adds, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"It's-" searching for the right words, Baekhyun makes a pause. Then, he averts his gaze, eyes focused on the ground as he finishes, "-complicated. Quite a long story." Chuckling humorlessly, the boy whispers as an afterthought after putting the glass with water back on the tray, "Quite depressing too."

"It's okay, I get it," Chanyeol nods, understanding that after all, it was too bold to ask about such a personal thing. Maybe it was the night-time hand holding that made Chanyeol think that he can question the boy about something like this, but clearly he was wrong. However, he is not bitter about it - how could he be - he is just a little disappointed because he really wanted to know more about Baekhyun.

"No, it's not what you think," Baekhyun shakes his head hurriedly, fidgeting a little as he plays with his fingers. "I just- Why ruining a day so soon with sad talks?"

Baekhyun doesn't look uncomfortable as he speaks; more so, he looks troubled, dejected, and the look in his eyes is faraway as he stares into the ground. The boy seems to be deep in memories that make his heart hurt, and as Chanyeol sees Baekhyun clenching his jaw, for some reason, Chanyeol's own heart hurts as well. It's like with Baekhyun Chanyeol doesn't even have power to control his emotions, his mood changing according to Baekhyun's.

Maybe Jongin is right after all; Chanyeol is way too attached to the boy already.

"What do you like?" he asks after a few seconds of silence, startling Baekhyun with the sudden question.

"What?"

"I asked; what do you like?" asking again, Chanyeol turns his whole body to Baekhyun. When the boy is still looking at him in confusion, Chanyeol explains shortly, "You're right; talking about sad stuff so early in the morning is stupid. So, let's talk about something else."

When the understanding seeps in, Baekhyun smiles. And truly, without exaggerating, it's the most beautiful smile Chanyeol has ever seen in his entire life. The sun might be shining outside, but it seems to be shining so dull in comparison to Baekhyun right now, the boy's eyes glassy and lips tugged upwards in the most perfect way as he looks at Chanyeol again.

There are multiple cuts and bruises gracing Baekhyun's face, skin colorful like a painter's palette. He can't even smile properly because of the cut on his lip, can't even open one of his eyes fully because it’s that swollen, can't even sit up straight because aside from his face being injured, his stomach has gotten a few hits too - still, despite all that, Chanyeol thinks that Baekhyun is a masterpiece. Ripped at every edge, on a verge of breaking down in the very near future, but still a masterpiece.

An arrow with the word _Protect_ impales Chanyeol's heart the very next second, knocking the air out of him in the process, and while he doesn't know what's happening - why his whole body freezes and why it feels as if though he was being lifted up to the clouds - Chanyeol, instead of trying to ignore the feeling or ponder about it, lets his emotions run free for once, basking in the sudden wave of strong affection that only doubles when Baekhyun says, "I like food."

"Good thing I managed to get you more for breakfast, then," is Chanyeol's reply as he laughs a little, feeling physically unable to tear his eyes away from Baekhyun's.

"Won't you get in trouble?" Baekhyun questions immediately, worriedly.

"No," _Yes, if someone finds out_. However, when Baekhyun whispers a quiet _thank you_ while blushing slightly, Chanyeol thinks the punishment would be worth it.

  
  


Chanyeol stays with Baekhyun the whole day, leaving the boy's side only when he needs to get them meals. There, in the kitchens, he spends a few minutes talking to Jongin - or more like listening to Jongin as the man talks about a new guy who was assigned the job of a cook, Do Kyungsoo. When Chanyeol says he has never heard of any Do Kyungsoo, Jongin excitedly explains that Kyungsoo was transferred here only yesterday, and that - Jongin's words - he is just perfect. When Jongin later points Kyungsoo out to Chanyeol, as subtly as possible, it doesn't take a genius to guess what's this all about - his best friend is head over heels for the guy with big doe eyes and heart-shaped lips, if the way his eyes shine is anything to go by.

"He doesn't really talk to me, though," Jongin sighs. "But he doesn't talk to anyone, so... Like, he does, but only a little. He seems shy."

After telling Jongin that he shouldn't give up yet just because the doe-eyed man doesn't look interested so far, he goes back to Baekhyun, the two of them eating their lunch together, talking casually. As they continue talking throughout the day as well, Chanyeol makes sure not to mention anything too personal or anything that could trigger Baekhyun's sadness, only bringing up light topics to keep the conversation going, seeing that Baekhyun enjoys it.

He likes the way Baekhyun speaks. It's not a new realization, Chanyeol having thought about it a lot of times before, but it sure feels like it because just as the first time he heard Baekhyun talk, Chanyeol's ears are blessed when the boy speaks with that accent of his, phrasing some of his sentences sort of poetically - and today, Chanyeol gets to hear the boy's voice more than enough.

Although it's not the first time they have a series of conversations, it has never been like this; in the past, the conversations were multiple but short, more of a small talk, but now they are rather lengthy, Baekhyun not answering with simple and short replies anymore. It's quite the opposite, actually; Baekhyun might be talking more than Chanyeol today, even asking questions by himself.

However, with talking a lot also comes a problem, which is-

"That's not how you say the word," is what Baekhyun says suddenly, furrowing his brows.

"...It is," Chanyeol says, surely, repeating the word once more to emphasize on the fact that he said it right.

"No, it isn't," Baekhyun insists, shaking his head as he turns his whole body to Chanyeol, ready to fight for his opinion. "You don't pronounce it as _s_. It's clearly a _sh_ sound."

"No way in hell," is Chanyeol's response, and he mirrors Baekhyun's actions, facing Baekhyun not only with his head, but his whole body. "I've been saying it with _s_ since I could like, I don't know, speak."

"You've been wrong your whole life, then."

And like that, Chanyeol finds out that while Baekhyun is easily likable and kind and simply lovely, he is insufferably stubborn. The boy would most likely argue till his very last tomorrows, not backing down until he's physically unable to defend his opinion anymore - or at least that's the impression Chanyeol gets when Baekhyun doesn't shut up about the right pronunciation of words, being so enthusiastic while explaining why he's right and why Chanyeol is wrong. Many would find it annoying, but Chanyeol has never been like others, and maybe that's why he finds it endearing instead.

Or maybe it's endearing just because it's Baekhyun.

By the time they reach middle ground on the topic of pronunciation, it's noon already, and Baekhyun seems tired, eyes closing once in a while. Chanyeol is not even surprised, given that they've talked for quite a long time and Baekhyun is definitely not in the best condition. "Tired from too much arguing?" Chanyeol jokes with a smirk, but it's the only joke he utters before getting up from the bed, letting Baekhyun lie down and stretch his legs. "Sleep a bit if you're tired," he says before he tucks Baekhyun in with a blanket like a mother would do for her child.

"Arguing never tires me out," Baekhyun mumbles, lips pouty, but his eyes close anyway just a second later.

"Sure," Chanyeol snorts. "Sleep well. I'll wake you up for dinner."

"Mhmm," is the only response Chanyeol gets, and he smiles fondly at the sight of the boy's relaxed face as Baekhyun makes himself comfortable on the pillow, a few locks of his black hair falling into his face. Like this, with only his button nose, cute cheeks and small eyes poking out from underneath the blanket, Baekhyun truly looks like a child, like an innocent and pure little kid thrown into the cruel world. However, Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun isn't a kid. He might be pure and innocent, but he is definitely not just a clueless child, which is so obvious from the way he behaves and from the way he deals with things.

Still, Chanyeol has a strong urge to protect the boy, no matter if he's an adult or a child. In Chanyeol's eyes, Baekhyun is just someone who deserves to be protected, deserves to be safe, and it's quite unfortunate that Chanyeol can't provide Baekhyun with said protection or safety. He can only give Baekhyun a fleeting feeling of safety, and that's by far not enough.

"Hey, Chanyeol," the faint voice stops Chanyeol just before he steps out of the room, and the soldier turns around, eyes meeting Baekhyun's.

"Yeah?"

"Stay a bit...?"

"Of course."

Maybe momentary feeling of safety is nothing in comparison to actual safety in Chanyeol's eyes, but it seems to be more than enough in Baekhyun's.

  
  


Before dinner that day, Chanyeol helps Baekhyun walk to the bathroom so that the boy can finally wash himself, and maybe also warm himself up a little while surrounded by hot water in the bathtub.

The soldier had cleaned the bathtub while Baekhyun had slept, and then filled it with water while the boy was eating his dinner later in the evening. Knowing there are bruises on the boy's body to which hot water wouldn't do any good, Chanyeol added more cold water than usual into the bathtub, creating a warm enough temperature, but at the same time not too hot so it wouldn't hurt Baekhyun's body.

However, he kind of forgot to think about one important detail, and that is; how will Baekhyun get into the bath? The boy can't even move properly, nor undresses himself, so how?

Chanyeol can't believe he forgot about such a significant thing, and now he feels like a complete idiot as he stands in the middle of the room, arm wrapped around Baekhyun's waist to support the boy's body. His eyes trail around the room as he tries to find a solution, but it proves to be useless, because nothing comes to his mind no matter how long he looks around himself helplessly.

Baekhyun probably notices Chanyeol's clueless expression and understands the situation, speaking up with a quiet and shy voice, "You've already seen me naked, anyway..."

Chanyeol understands; it's a permission for him to help Baekhyun get into the bath, which comes with - inevitably - seeing Baekhyun's bare body in the process. "Are you sure?" Chanyeol questions, looking down at Baekhyun. There seems to be no other option than to be the one who undresses Baekhyun, but if it should make Baekhyun borderline uncomfortable, Chanyeol will try his damnest best to think of whatever different option.

"Yeah," averting his eyes, Baekhyun nods. "It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Baekhyun repeats, and since Chanyeol doesn't want to prolong it and torture Baekhyun more, he quickly untangles his arm from the boy's waist and after making sure that Baekhyun can stand without his legs giving out, the soldier helps Baekhyun raise his hands and takes off the shirt quickly, throwing it over a chair next to them. Baekhyun shrinks to himself a little when his upper body is put on display, a blush slowly finding its way to his face, but to Chanyeol's great surprise, the boy doesn't try to cover himself, standing there like a statue instead.

"I'm not going to look at you," Chanyeol swears when his fingers touch the waistband of Baekhyun's pants, and Baekhyun only nods again and looks away, biting his lower lip. It's obvious that he's nervous and embarrassed, his shy personality not helping the situation either, and Chanyeol feels like an asshole for having to put Baekhyun through this.

Staying true to his promise, Chanyeol turns his head to the side as he pulls down Baekhyun's pants, making sure not to graze his fingers against the skin of Baekhyun's legs as he does so. Taking the piece of clothing off and standing up again, Chanyeol is ready to throw the pants next to the shirt as well, but his plans are changed when Baekhyun stumbles backward suddenly, almost falling down if it wasn't for Chanyeol who catches him before anything can happen.

"Sorry," Baekhyun mumbles. "I don't know what happened."

"It's okay," Chanyeol dismisses, hand secure on Baekhyun's back as he helps the boy stand up straight again. "Are you alright though? Is your head spinning?"

"A bit," Baekhyun answers truthfully.

The soldier says before saying, "I don't think a bath is a good idea, then. It can-"

"No, no," shaking his head slightly, Baekhyun looks up into Chanyeol's eyes with all seriousness. "I want to wash myself already," he whispers, and then adds even more quietly, "I'm disgusted by with myself."

Chanyeol doesn't know what to do. Baekhyun's condition is truly bad - the boy can't even walk for god's sake, or stand on his own two feet - but on the other hand, he seems to be very serious about wanting to take a bath, and while Chanyeol doesn't think a bath is a good idea right now, Baekhyun most likely wouldn't like it if Chanyeol denied him the right to wash himself - especially after the soldier has already undressed Baekhyun. And so, after thinking about all pros and cons, Chanyeol decides to listen to Baekhyun's request. "Fine," he says. "But you're gonna talk to me the whole time so I know you haven't drowned or something."

"Deal," Baekhyun agrees quickly.

"So.. let's get you into the bathtub," Chanyeol says, hooking Baekhyun's arm around his neck as his own arm wraps around Baekhyun's waist once more. Holding Baekhyun like that and feeling the boy's smooth skin under his fingertips is positively making Chanyeol feel very hot on the inside, but he ignores the electrifying feeling that strikes him and focuses on the task at hand instead, no matter how hard it is with knowing that Baekhyun is naked, his bare body pressed into Chanyeol's side.

"Stop talking to me as if I were a kid," Baekhyun mumbles, but there is amusement lacing his voice as he says it.

"Aren't you though, Mr Walking Pronunciation Rules?" teasing, Chanyeol finally throws Baekhyun's pants on the chair, slowly walking toward the bathtub with Baekhyun.

"Shut up," Baekhyun pinches Chanyeol's shoulder, getting a _hey!_ from the soldier. "Your pronunciation is so weird."

"It's how people around here pronounce the words, not only me."

"That's what I'm saying; it's weird."

Chanyeol just laughs, stopping in front of the bathtub and whispering into the boy's ear, "Come on, then." It's not that easy, though, because as Chanyeol finds out a few seconds later, Baekhyun can't lift his legs high enough to step over the side of the bathtub, not having that much power yet. "Don't get scared, okay? I'm not doing anything," with that said, Chanyeol decides to take the matters in his own hands, literally.

After getting a confused nod from Baekhyun, Chanyeol tells the boy to hold on tightly before hooking an arm under his knees and lifting Baekhyun up, carrying him over the edge of the bathtub and putting him in the water carefully. The quiet, deep exhale Baekhyun lets out of his mouth when the water surrounds his body hits Chanyeol more than Chanyeol would ever want to admit, but just as the thoughts of Baekhyun's smooth skin, Chanyeol sweeps the thoughts of Baekhyun's exhale being rather sinful under the rug. It's wrong to think about such things, after all, because Baekhyun will never be his to take. Chanyeol has no right to have even one erotic thought about Baekhyun in his mind.

"Thank you," Baekhyun whispers in gratitude, a smile on his face as he sinks deeper into the water, enjoying the warmth.

"No problem," is what Chanyeol responds with as he turns away, keeping his promise about not looking at Baekhyun while the boy is naked. He wouldn't see much anyway even if he wanted, since Baekhyun's body is mostly shielded by the bathtub's side now, but it would still be rude to stare. Plus, it could also easily make Baekhyun uncomfortable, and Chanyeol wouldn't want that.

Standing about two meters away from Baekhyun, back facing the boy, Chanyeol doesn't have much to do beside staring at the dirty showers in front of him - showers, which still haven't been cleaned after all this time. What for, even? Nobody uses them, anyway, and by nobody Chanyeol means the only two people that live here - Baekhyun and himself. Chanyeol might have mostly no assignments during the day, being relatively free, since his full-time job is watching over Baekhyun and taking care of the boy, but cleaning the showers nobody uses seems pointless, no matter if he has time to spare or not. Time can be used more productively; for example to keep Baekhyun company as they sit on the boy's bed, shoulders touching and shy smiles gracing their faces as they talk.

"Don't you want to sit?" asks Baekhyun after a few seconds, the sound of water splashing around when Baekhyun moves accompanying his words in the silence of the room.

"It's fine," Chanyeol replies. He doesn't mind having to stand while Baekhyun baths - he has already gotten used to it.

A short silence comes, but soon Baekhyun speaks up again, surprising Chanyeol as he says, "Do you still wanna know why I hate the nickname?"

Chanyeol stills, wondering about his answer.

Of course he wants Baekhyun to tell him; it goes hand in hand with Chanyeol's desire to get to know Baekhyun - really get to know him, on a deeper level and not just superficially. Chanyeol truly wishes to learn things about Baekhyun's past, about what makes the boy happy or sad, about his weaknesses and strengths, about his life and simply him. There is this weird craving inside of Chanyeol's heart that's making the soldier desperate to find out more and more information about Baekhyun's being, and he can't get rid of it no matter how much he tries. Chanyeol even went as far as arguing with himself about these feelings being simply strange, but it didn't help the cause at all, the soldier still experiencing the same urge to know all of Baekhyun's secrets and share all of Baekhyun's burdens.

Maybe this all is a side-effect of feeling the need to protect Baekhyun. Maybe not. Who knows? The important thing right now is that yes, Chanyeol indeed wants to know why Baekhyun hates such a pretty nickname so much, but at the same time he doesn't want to pry or make Baekhyun believe that he owns some kind of explanation to Chanyeol. If Baekhyun doesn't want to talk about it, it's alright. Chanyeol wouldn't force him into something like this, never.

Which is exactly what Chanyeol says to Baekhyun out loud too, adding, "I understand that it must be personal, so don't say anything about it if it's just because you feel like you owe me something - because you don't."

"I know," Baekhyun's soft voice travels to Chanyeol's ears, melting him on the inside. Baekhyun has a very nice voice, so velvety smooth and appealing that Chanyeol can't help but praise it in his head every single time Baekhyun speaks. "But I want to tell you. I want to do it," the boy says, and it truly sounds sincere. "Plus, it's already evening so-"

"-the day is ending," Chanyeol finishes for Baekhyun, being familiar with the way the boy thinks by now.

"Yes, exactly. Time to talk about the thing we didn't want to start our morning with," Baekhyun's voice sounds joyful and light, as if he wasn't even getting ready to talk about something that hurts him, but about good memories from his past that make him happy. Chanyeol wonders if this is Baekhyun's way to keep his composure; being all smiley so he won't break down, acting alright in hope to fool himself with the idea that he's truly okay and that he can still keep going

"I want to know," Chanyeol says truthfully. "But only if you are sure about telling me."

"I am," comes Baekhyun's honest answer as well, tone more serious than joyful this time, but still laced with that specific gentleness Baekhyun always speaks with when talking to Chanyeol. "I don't know why I want to tell you," adds the boy a second later, voicing out his thoughts to prove that he doesn't want to talk about it just because he feels like he owes Chanyeol explanations. "I just do. I feel like telling you for unknown reasons."

Chanyeol chuckles upon hearing that, amused and glad that both he and Baekhyun share the same strange feelings. "Then I would really like to know," Chanyeol says. "But now just enjoy the bath. I'm not letting you be there for long because of your injuries, so make the best of it."

"Don't you feel like it was a waste of time?" Baekhyun asks. "Filling the bathtub just for me to bath for five minutes, I mean."

"How are you feeling right now?"

"Good," comes a simple reply.

"Then it wasn't a waste of time."

After roughly ten minutes, Chanyeol tells Baekhyun that it's time to leave the bathtub. Baekhyun tries to persuade Chanyeol to give him five more minutes, but the soldier shakes his head, saying, "No way. It's bad for your health. You're a medic, shouldn't you be aware of that?"

"...Fine," Baekhyun replies, and Chanyeol can hear the pout in Baekhyun's voice.

"I thought you'd argue more, but this is making things easier," Chanyeol chuckles, receiving a hmph from Baekhyun right away. The teasing is cut short though, because Chanyeol soon realizes that he is the one who will have to help Baekhyun out of the bathtub, and that means touching the boy again. This realization comes with a new wave of nervousness that makes his heart-rate speed up the tiniest bit - Chanyeol doesn't dare to use the word excitement, even though the shivers that run down his spine are hinting that it would be the right word to describe the feeling.

The yelp that echoes in the room snaps Chanyeol out of his thoughts, the soldier immediately spinning around with wide eyes, panic seizing his whole body. He isn't even fully turned around yet, but he catches Baekhyun's figure from the corners of his eyes anyway; the boy has one foot inside the bathtub and the other one on the edge of it, arms flailing around as he desperately tries to grab onto something that would save him from falling down on the ground. Chanyeol doesn't waste time and with a yell of Baekhyun's name on his lips, he leaps forward in hope to catch Baekhyun before the boy's body meets the cold, hard cement floor.

Fortunately, Chanyeol is quick enough to get to Baekhyun before anything horrible can happen, the boy falling into his arms with another yelp that is slightly muffled by Chanyeol's chest this time.

Unfortunately, the collision sends them falling to the ground. And that hurts a lot.

"I'm so sorry," is the first thing Chanyeol hears after his back hits the ground painfully, and when the soldier opens his eyes, Baekhyun's worried face is the first thing that greets him, expression full of sorrow. "I slipped, and-"

"You're so clumsy," Chanyeol says, but his tone isn't venomous or angry; it's neutral, although laced with pain from the fall. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out that if you couldn't get in the bathtub, you wouldn't have enough strength to climb out of it either."

"I know, I just-"

"Are you alright?" cutting Baekhyun off softly, Chanyeol looks the boy in the eyes after heaving a sigh. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, but are you? The fall must have hurt," Baekhyun throws his own concerned question at Chanyeol, staring at the soldier with intensity. It's clear that he's extremely sorry for the accident, not only from his expression but also from the look in his pretty blue eyes, and Chanyeol doesn't even have time to say that Baekhyun's already forgiven before the boy starts blurting out apologies frantically. The drops of water from Baekhyun's freshly-washed hair fall on Chanyeol's face as Baekhyun keeps saying sorry over and over again, wetting Chanyeol's cheeks and blurring his vision as some of the drops falls into Chanyeol's eyes as well.

"I'm alright, calm down, okay? Apology accepted. Nothing that bad happened anyway," saying that, Chanyeol brushes a few locks of the boy's black hair away from Baekhyun's face to reduce the amount of water that falls on him, holding the dark strands in place as his hand stills in Baekhyun's hair. "I just need to make sure you're not injured. That's all that matters now."

Baekhyun seems taken aback by Chanyeol's touch, blinking in surprise at the soldier that's lying under him before mumbling, "I'm good." Chanyeol wonders if he's only imagining it, or if Baekhyun truly leaned into the touch a little a second ago. With new-found curiosity, Chanyeol runs a hand through Baekhyun's hair, resting it on Baekhyun's nape instead, not caring about the drops that continue to fall into his face again as he stares into the blue orbs just a few inches away from him.

He doesn't know why he's doing this or what he's trying to prove. The truth is that Chanyeol is completely clueless about the reasons behind his actions, his body practically moving on its own, his brain shut down momentarily. The soldier actually expects Baekhyun to shy away or maybe even slap Chanyeol for touching him so recklessly, but surprisingly enough, Baekhyun doesn't move or flinch away. He stays still, fluttering his eyelashes in confusion but holding the eye-contact all the same with seemingly no intention to avert his gaze.

The time seems to stop around them, and Chanyeol wonders how did he even get into this situation. Just a few seconds ago he was ready to die because of how scared he was about the possibility of Baekhyun falling and hurting himself, and now his heart seems to be completely at ease as they lie on the cold ground together, so close that both of them can feel the other's breath on their lips. _What am I doing?_ Chanyeol asks himself as he stares at Baekhyun, not being able to stop admiring the color of Baekhyun's eyes, just as he can't help himself but praise in his mind how pretty the boy's face is, how smooth his skin is-

Wait, Chanyeol stops the flow of his thoughts forcefully upon remembering with horror that the reason he can feel the previously mentioned smooth skin is because Baekhyun is still naked. The realization that Baekhyun's bare body is lying on top of Chanyeol's own and that Chanyeol is touching that very body is enough to speed up the soldier's heart rate right away- However, what really makes Chanyeol panic is the fact that it's Baekhyun's lower back he's shamelessly touching, his pinky finger even tracing the curve of Baekhyun's bottom.

_Oh my god._

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol blurts out, quickly removing his hands from both Baekhyun's back and nape. When Baekhyun's eyes widen and the boy starts blinking rapidly as Chanyeol pushes against his shoulders and helps him stand, Chanyeol thinks that he might not have been the only one who got sucked into this momentary trance, but that Baekhyun got carried away by some strange emotions as well, if the look in the blue orbs is anything to go by.

"I-uhm," Baekhyun gulps when he's finally standing on his feet, licking over his lips nervously as his hands come down to cover his intimate parts. Chanyeol turns around immediately and reaches for a towel that's on the chair nearby, handing it to Baekhyun without looking at the boy. Baekhyun accepts with a quiet _thank you._ "I'm the one who should be sorry, but y-yeah. It's alright."

It's awkward. The air is thick, the silence suffocating, and Chanyeol wonders what can he do to change it. He feels like another apology would make the atmosphere even worse because it would be just another reminder of what happened, but what else is there to say in such a situation? On top of everything, Chanyeol feels his face heating up with every passing second, and while he might not be able to look at Baekhyun's face, he knows that Baekhyun is definitely blushing furiously as well, face and ears flaming red.

While Baekhyun is drying his body with the towel, Chanyeol wonders if what happened is going to ruin them. Yes, Baekhyun falling on him might have been an accident, but Chanyeol's boldness that came after wasn't, and the fact that Chanyeol didn't know what he was doing is definitely not an excuse either. Baekhyun maybe didn't look triggered by the touch at the time, but that doesn't mean it can't prove to be an unpleasant memory for the boy in the future. What if Baekhyun even starts keeping his distance, thinking about Chanyeol as a dirty pervert or something based on the inappropriate touching? Chanyeol fears this possibility a lot.

"Can you hand me my clothes?" Baekhyun asks after a while, and Chanyeol does as he's requested without a single word. However, when the clothes are already in Baekhyun's hands, Baekhyun asks another question, "Could you also help me put them on?"

"I don't think-"

"You wouldn't want me to hurt myself, right?" Baekhyun cuts him off innocently, and Chanyeol turns around with a sigh, not daring to lay his eyes on Baekhyun, afraid to see the look in the blue orbs or the expression on Baekhyun's face. "Here," Baekhyun steps closer to Chanyeol and outstretches his arms, holding the clothes out for Chanyeol to take. Again, Chanyeol does so in complete silence, hating how one pants and one shirt's weight seems to be equal to the weight of a whole building.

Firstly, he puts on Baekhyun's shirt quickly, helping the boy raise his hands like before, with the only difference being that while undressing Baekhyun twenty minutes ago, Chanyeol held onto Baekhyun's wrists securely, and now he barely touches them. Then, when Baekhyun's upper body is dressed in the over-sized, long-sleeved shirt, Chanyeol kneels down and just like Baekhyun's wrists, he touches Baekhyun's ankles only barely as he helps Baekhyun get into the pants, guiding the boy's legs into the holes. Getting a hold of the waistband afterwards, Chanyeol looks to the side as he starts standing up, making sure his eyes won't catch even a glimpse of Baekhyun's bare legs as he pulls the pants up.

When Baekhyun's dressed, Chanyeol lets go of the boy right away, ready to step back, but slender fingers that circle around his wrist make him stop. "Thank you," Baekhyun says softly, and Chanyeol can't help but turn his head in Baekhyun's direction this time, brown eyes locking with blue ones.

Chanyeol expects to see Baekhyun angry, disgusted, maybe even disappointed, but he truly doesn't expect to see Baekhyun smiling up at him with that shy smile of his. For a moment, he doesn't understand why would Baekhyun look at him so kindly and with that pretty smile, but the realization downs upon him after a few seconds of eye-contact; Baekhyun's not angry. The boy doesn't need to say it out loud for Chanyeol to understand, the way he squeezes Chanyeol's wrist making it all clear, if the forgiving look in his eyes wasn't enough of an indication.

"Let's go back...?" Baekhyun asks.

"Okay."

As they walk back to Baekhyun's room - Chanyeol's arm around Baekhyun's waist to support the shorter one’s body the same way as before - Chanyeol feels so happy he could cry. He was scared that Baekhyun won't even look at him anymore, but he's glad to be proven wrong.

Chanyeol still promises himself not to be so bold next time, though. No matter how strong the urge, he can't be reckless enough to easily give in to these strange, confusing feelings, for Baekhyun might not forgive him next time something like this happens.

(However, what Chanyeol doesn't know is that there wasn't anything to forgive him for to begin with, Baekhyun not being angry at all even for one second. It's the exact opposite actually. Baekhyun liked the way Chanyeol touched him quite a lot.)

After walking Baekhyun back to the boy's bed, Chanyeol says, "I have to get us dinner, but I'll be right back, okay?" When Baekhyun nods in understanding, Chanyeol turns around and walks out of the room, hurrying to the kitchens so he can be back as soon as possible and eat his last meal of the day with Baekhyun by his side. They eat together every day, but Chanyeol can't help but feel excited about it just the same as the first time they ate together, happiness bubbling in his stomach. During the war, nobody can be sure that they will live to see another day, and thus it's not certain that they will be able to enjoy their meals with someone they care about tomorrow either, which is why Chanyeol makes sure not to take eating with Baekhyun for granted, instead looking forward to it every time.

The walk to the kitchens is short given how fast Chanyeol's tempo is, and as he steps into the building, his eyes immediately search for Jongin. There are quite a lot of people waiting for their dinner, but luckily Chanyeol doesn't have to stand in the line thanks to the privileges he was gifted with after becoming Baekhyun's guard, and so he just walks past everyone and makes his way straight to the kitchen, getting a few nasty looks in the process. Not like Chanyeol cares when a warm dinner and Baekhyun's even warmer company is waiting for him, though.

Chanyeol wanted to find Jongin before getting dinner and maybe chat a little so his best friend won't feel neglected, but when he finally catches a glimpse of the man, Chanyeol decides to leave talking for later - after all, he wouldn't want to interrupt the conversation Jongin has with that new doe-eyed cook he mentioned to Chanyeol today. It would truly be a shame to step in between them when Jongin is smiling so adorably, eyes sparking as the two talk in the back of the room. The shorter man - Kyungsoo, if Chanyeol remembers correctly - isn't returning the smiles, but from the way his big eyes sparkle the same as Jongin's, Chanyeol thinks that the guy might be enjoying himself as well, even though that nonchalant expression is somewhat deceiving.

Feeling strangely at ease knowing that Jongin was able to talk to the man he has taken interest in, Chanyeol turns on his heel and goes to the other corner where Soohyuk, another cook, is stirring a soup. It smells nice, and the scent makes Chanyeol's mouth water more and more with every step he takes.

When Soohyuk notices him, he greets Chanyeol with a simple, "Good evening." Chanyeol returns the greeting before asking for two portions, adding a smile to his request. It's not like he has to specify that he's here for two portions and not for only one, since all of the cooks are aware that Chanyeol is in a charge of looking over someone, but Chanyeol always says it anyway. There's no particular reason for that, he just does.

"Stir it for me, okay?" Soohyuk doesn't even wait for Chanyeol's answer before he hands the soldier the wooden spoon, running off to somewhere. Chanyeol sighs when Soohyuk disappears momentarily, but stirs the soup as he was told, not wanting to get in trouble for ruining the food.

It only takes Soohyuk about five minutes before he's back, placing two trays on the table nearby. As always, there is a glass of water, then rice in a bowl, but instead of vegetables, there's meat today. Chanyeol feels his mouth water once again at the sight. It's like dream come true every time there's meat in the menu. "Yeah I know," Soohyuk chuckles at Chanyeol's expression, taking the wooden spoon from Chanyeol's hand. "Ask Woobin for the soup, this one isn't done yet."

After getting the soup from Woobin, Chanyeol places both of the bowls on the tray, grabbing chopsticks and two spoons before leaving the kitchen. Again, he gets nasty looks, but just like the last time and many times before, Chanyeol ignores it.

Walking back to the building at the very end of the camp, Chanyeol's steps are slow and careful, the soldier making sure not to spill even one drop of the soup. However, the slow tempo is killing him as the scent of the food keeps hitting his nose along the way, and Chanyeol feels his stomach grumbling loudly every time he catches the smell of the delicious soup and meat in the air. Baekhyun will like it as well, Chanyeol thinks as he walks a little faster, not being able to simply move so slow when his stomach is screaming of hunger and his arms are begging for rest. Chanyeol might work out quite a lot, having also muscles to prove it, but there's a difference between doing exercise and carrying two trays on which there are soups and glasses with water that would spill without the right balance.

It takes seemingly forever to return back to Baekhyun's room, but after mentioned forever, Chanyeol is finally there, putting Baekhyun's tray on the table and his on the bed.

"We have meat today," Baekhyun comments, his whole expression lightening up.

"Yeah, I'm happy as well. Here," handing Baekhyun the chopsticks and the spoon, Chanyeol carefully comes to sit on the bed, leaning his back against the wall before he puts the tray into his lap. The meat is tempting him, but the soup will definitely be less tastier if eaten cold, and so Chanyeol decides to eat the soup first. Baekhyun does the same.

For a while, they eat in silence, just enjoying the food and each other's company, but then Baekhyun speaks up, a smile on his lips as he says, "When I was young, my mother used to make soup for lunch or dinner almost every day." Putting another spoonful into his mouth, he adds, "My mother made the best soups. Ladies in the neighbourhood were always jealous."

"Were they?" Chanyeol chuckles, interested, the urge to know about every little detail about Baekhyun's childhood and Baekhyun in general returning. Not like it has ever disappeared, to be honest.

"Yeah," Baekhyun nods. "I wanted to learn how to cook as well, but it never turned out as good as my mother's. Actually, it was always a disaster - I can't cook at all, even now."

"It takes practice to make a good meal," he tells Baekhyun, remembering his own childhood. "My mother maybe wasn't the best cook in the neighbourhood, but I always liked her cooking. She had taught me the basics, and I became interested afterwards, so I helped her cook every time and I became good- that reminds me," Chanyeol looks up at Baekhyun from his plate. "What's your favorite food?"

"I don't have one," shrugging his shoulders, Baekhyun puts the last spoon of the soup in his mouth before putting down the bowl, spoon following soon after when Baekhyun licks it clean. "I like everything. Aside from cucumbers - these I hate with passion."

"Any particular reason?"

"Not really. I just don't find the taste appealing," is Baekhyun's response as he takes the chopsticks in his hand, immediately going for meat. "Or more like, I want to throw up because of the taste."

As Baekhyun continues with explaining why and when his hatred for this particular vegetable started, Chanyeol wonders how in the world does he find it so interesting to listen to someone talking about cucumber.

  
  


Their conversation throughout dinner is light, the two sharing pleasant memories from their childhood while eating. It's the first time they talk about something that could be really considered personal, and while Chanyeol enjoyed every single conversation he had with Baekhyun until now - even when it was about something as plain as food - he might enjoy this topic a little bit more because he's able to get to know Baekhyun on a deeper level like this, which is what Chanyeol has wanted for a long time now.

Baekhyun has a lot of nice memories which he talks about with a smile on his face, and Chanyeol finds himself momentarily abandoning his dinner for a while for the sake of simply focusing on that pretty smile, because the way Baekhyun's lips are tugged upwards as he talks about his mother or best friend is rather different from all the times Chanyeol has seen Baekhyun smile. It makes Chanyeol happy to see Baekhyun smiling like that, with such raw and pure emotion, but at the same time it makes Chanyeol's heart hurt because from personal experience he knows that this smile is hiding a lot sadness underneath the surface too.

Chanyeol notices that Baekhyun doesn't talk about his father at all, as if he didn't even have one, which Chanyeol for certain knows that the boy has - him having a father with a high ranked position is the only reason Baekhyun was kidnapped, after all. However, while being interested in the reason why Baekhyun won't mention his father in his stories, Chanyeol doesn't push it. When Baekhyun says something about it himself, Chanyeol will be happy to listen, but if Baekhyun decides not to share such personal information, Chanyeol will be fine with that too. Based on how Baekhyun's father left his son here to die, not caring about it at all, Chanyeol can guess that their relationship is far from good, and he would be an asshole if he demanded an explanation from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun also doesn't talk that much about his neighbours , school or even classmates and other friends. It's always only Baekhyun's best friend, Sehun, the boy mentions when it comes to friendships, and it makes Chanyeol intrigued because Baekhyun seems like a kind and a funny person whom would other kids want to befriend, so it doesn't make sense to Chanyeol that Baekhyun would only have one single friend. Maybe Baekhyun doesn't like to socialize? Chanyeol wonders, but something tells him that this isn't the reason. Baekhyun gives off the vibe of wanting to be with people, not to isolate himself from them.

Again, the soldier doesn't push it even though he's desperate to know more, letting Baekhyun bare himself to him at his own pace - besides, he has a feeling that he won't have to wait long until Baekhyun answers all of the silent questions that are swirling around in his head right now, given how much the boy's expression and posture have changed in the past twenty minutes. Chanyeol might be wrong, but it almost seems as if though all of the things Baekhyun has said during dinner today were actually meant to be confusing, only so the boy could provide the explanations in the end.

The look Baekhyun gives Chanyeol five minutes later after ending one of his stories with _my father wasn't that fond of me though_ is enough for Chanyeol to tell that he was right.

"You know, my father isn't exactly a bad person. Never has been," Baekhyun starts, and Chanyeol can easily catch how drastically has Baekhyun's tone has changed. The boy talks casually, but there is so much sadness hidden behind that steady tone that Chanyeol can feel his heart breaking already. "He was actually pretty nice - to everyone but me, that is," chuckling sadly, Baekhyun opts to play with his chopsticks while speaking, probably needing a distraction. "He hated me a lot."

"Why?" he knows that he should be quiet and just listen when Baekhyun is willing to talk, but Chanyeol simply can't stop his mouth before blurting out the question, not understanding why someone would hate their own child.

"Because I wasn't his," comes a simple answer. "My mom cheated on my father, got pregnant and then... then there was me."

After elaborating the previous statement, Baekhyun turns his head in Chanyeol's direction and focuses his blue orbs on the soldier, clearly wanting to see Chanyeol's reaction after the revelation. The look in his eyes is expectant, and while Baekhyun tries to pull off an unbothered expression, Chanyeol can see right through it, seeing the fear behind the tough exterior - Baekhyun is anything but unbothered. The boy is afraid of being judged by Chanyeol, afraid of being looked down on; Chanyeol can tell from the way Baekhyun holds the chopsticks in his hand way too tightly, and from the way Baekhyun averts his eyes to the ground when Chanyeol is silent for a longer period of time, the boy scared to hold eye-contact because he's afraid of the possibility that he'll meet judgement in the gaze of the seemingly last person he has left in this world.

And Chanyeol, in fact, is judging right now, but definitely not Baekhyun - he's judging Baekhyun's father because hating a child who did literally nothing wrong is stupid. It's not Baekhyun's fault that his mother got pregnant with another man's child, so if Baekhyun's father wanted to direct his hate at someone, it would make much more sense to hate the cheating wife, not the innocent child. Or is being born considered a sin?

Chanyeol feels frustration bubbling in his stomach at the thought of Baekhyun having to deal with his father's hatred because of something that wasn't even remotely his fault. He wonders how many times Baekhyun's father was bad to Baekhyun, how many times he made Baekhyun feel bad about simply being alive, and how many times did Baekhyun not get enough of the love he deserves. It makes Chanyeol angry, sad, but also incredibly confused, because he can't even begin to understand how someone could dislike Baekhyun - let alone the boy's own father - when Baekhyun is a literal definition of kindness and innocence.

Maybe Chanyeol is a little biased - or maybe a lot - but it doesn't change anything about the fact that nobody deserves to be treated poorly for other people's mistakes.

Or was it really a mistake when it comes to Baekhyun's case? Baekhyun probably wouldn't be the same if things went differently in the past. There's a possibility of Baekhyun even being a completely different person, with personality that wouldn't be similar to current-Baekhyun's at all because, after all, it's our past that shapes us into who we are today, or is it not?

However, as Chanyeol looks at the boy sitting beside him, he somehow can't bring himself to imagine that in whatever alternate universe there possibly is, there is a chance of Baekhyun being anything but kind and lovely. He doesn't know Baekhyun for long, but if the boy managed to stay this pure in heart after being touched by the poisonous wrath of war, then Chanyeol doesn't believe that something else would be powerful enough to chase the goodness out of Baekhyun's soul.

It's only the sound of something falling on the ground that brings Chanyeol back to reality, the thoughts chased away as he blinks and focuses his eyes on the chopstick that's lying on the cement floor. He sees Baekhyun reaching for it only a second later, and he notices how the boy's fingers tremble the slightest bit as he picks the chopstick up and puts it in his other hand afterwards, uniting the pair before he continues to play with them again. Chanyeol stares at Baekhyun's hands for a while, but it doesn't take that much time to figure out that the way Baekhyun plays with the chopsticks is an action of nervousness.

Averting his eyes from Baekhyun's hands and directing his gaze on Baekhyun's face instead, Chanyeol feels his heart dropping to his stomach when he sees how glassy Baekhyun's blue eyes have become, full of unshed tears that are threatening to fall any time now. It hits Chanyeol just then, when he takes in Baekhyun's dejected expression, that the time he spent with his thoughts may have seemed like a fleeting second to him, but in reality, it was way more. Chanyeol might not know how long he was talking to himself in his head exactly, but he is sure that every single second must have felt like forever to Baekhyun who was desperately waiting for Chanyeol's reaction, only to receive a cruel silence as a reply.

It's exactly when the first tear rolls down Baekhyun's bruised cheek that one of the chopsticks falls from the boy's hands yet again, but this time when Baekhyun reaches for it to pick it up, Chanyeol doesn't let him, taking a hold of Baekhyun's trembling fingers and intertwining them with his own loosely. The touch sends a bolt of electricity through Chanyeol's whole body, and the soldier wonders how is it possible that such simple physical contact can make him feel so many different and rather dissimilar emotions at the same time, the scale starting with adrenaline and ending with calmness.

After what happened today in the bathroom not even that long ago, one would expect Chanyeol to be more careful with touching, but no; here goes Chanyeol again, making another bold move that can backfire right at him - which the soldier is also very well aware of. Despite the risk though, he doesn't let go of Baekhyun's hand even when Baekhyun turns his head to him with wide eyes and shocked expression, finally looking up from the ground with his mouth slightly open in surprise, chopstick on the ground completely forgotten. There is fear seizing Chanyeol's heart as the silence between them stretches, and while waiting for reaction, he wonders if this is how Baekhyun felt too when Chanyeol just stared at him without a word the same way a few moments ago.

Every second seems to drag, and Chanyeol gulps nervously as he uses the last bits of his courage to hold eye-contact with Baekhyun while already regretting this stupid idea. Again, Chanyeol didn't really think before reaching for Baekhyun's hand, letting his impulsive said take the lead, and even though this time it isn't as bad and intimate as before when he let his hands caress Baekhyun's naked body - unaware or confused, doesn't matter; it was still wrong - it's still bad enough. He might not be holding Baekhyun's hand tightly, giving Baekhyun the choice of pulling away or locking their fingers more securely, but he's holding it anyway, and that could be very easily considered overstepping his bounds again, which-

Chanyeol's mind goes blank in a second as Baekhyun's surprised expression disappears and a smile forms on the boy's bow-shaped lips instead, and it's inevitable that upon seeing the sadness fading away from the pretty blue eyes, Chanyeol smiles as well right away despite still being in a shock, his heart not even beating properly yet because of how afraid of screwing everything up he was - again.

When Baekhyun squeezes Chanyeol's hand a second later, Chanyeol feels as if though Baekhyun also squeezed all the worries and stress out of him, replacing it with relief that washes over the soldier like a tidal wave, and as Baekhyun moves closer to him afterwards, leaning against the wall right beside Chanyeol with no space between them, their shoulders touching, it's suddenly not only relief in Chanyeol's heart anymore, but happiness. Content. Rightness. Their intertwined fingers and Baekhyun's close proximity; it all feels like it fits, and suddenly Chanyeol isn't regretting the decision to reach out and hold Baekhyun's hand in his anymore - it's actually the opposite, Chanyeol feeling like intertwining their fingers to let Baekhyun know that his opinion on the boy hasn't changed after the revelation was the best decision he could have made.

"How did he know?" Chanyeol asks quietly after some time spent in silence. He tries to make his voice sound steady, but it's hard with how nervous he is from Baekhyun's closeness. It's quite strange, the fact that he feels both stressed and calm about Baekhyun's presence.

"Mom said she had told him before I was born," Baekhyun answers, and Chanyeol's heart skips a beat when Baekhyun leans his head on Chanyeol's shoulder after putting the other remaining chopstick on the tray. "But even if she hadn't, my father would have found out after I was born anyway. There was nothing about me resembling my father, and then there was the issue of my eyes." Making a short pause, Baekhyun picks on the cloth of his pants. "Nobody in our family has had blue eyes, ever, and there wasn't even a single person in our whole neighbourhood who had different eye-color than brown. The only one who had blue eyes was some foreign man who had spent around three weeks in the village."

The message is clear enough with no need to be elaborated, and Chanyeol lets in all sink in before asking, "Have you ever met him?"

Snorting, Baekhyun says, "Never. I hadn't known his name before people around me... started to talk." The breath Baekhyun takes after is shaky, and the words that fall out next break Chanyeol's heart, "I had been completely clueless as to why my father hated me so much until a neighbour of ours laughed about the reason in my mom's face when I was there. I didn't really understand what was going on; my five years old self simply couldn't comprehend what that woman meant when she said that my father isn't my father, but later-... Later I realized. And I felt awful."

"It wasn't your fault-"

"I didn't know that at the time," Baekhyun squeezes Chanyeol's hand a little, and Chanyeol squeezes back immediately. "The older I was, the less people cared when they talked, and my father seemingly hated me more every time people made fun our family."

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol can't help but say. He knows that him being sorry can't change anything about Baekhyun's past, but he hopes these two plain words combined with the grip he has on Baekhyun's hand will be at least able to change the amount of pain Baekhyun must feel right now. It seems to work, because Baekhyun snuggles up to Chanyeol more the very next second, and now not only their shoulders are touching, but also their thighs, and Chanyeol is, if he were to be honest, going crazy from all of this.

It's safe to say that he is overwhelmed in the best way right now because of many factors - the close proximity, the touching, the hand-holding, Baekhyun's smell and the weight of the boy's head on his shoulder - but it's different from anything he has felt before, which Chanyeol is sure about because the very few times he was this close to someone, it simply didn't feel like... this, even when he was intimate with that person. Chanyeol can't even describe the feelings he's going through right now no matter how hard he tries because he himself doesn't even understand his emotions, but while it's frustrating to no end to be confused like this, the one thing that Chanyeol knows with certainty is that whatever is happening to his heart right now, whatever he feels, it's stronger than anything he has felt with anyone. It's strange, and it's frustrating too, because the more Chanyeol tries to make sense of his emotions, the more he gets tangled in the web of endless confusion.

The last time a person was close to him like this, Chanyeol felt physical arousal, and his heart was beating fast with excitement, thirst and need. Now, his heart isn't beating fast despite him feeling definitely more excited, and Chanyeol simply doesn't understand how it's possible. Why is his heart beating so calmly? Why does his skin tingle weirdly on places Baekhyun makes contact with even the tiniest bit? Why does he not feel turned on in the slightest when their positions right now are very similar to the ones Chanyeol and his one night lover had before things escalated months ago?

That time, five months ago to be precise, Chanyeol was definitely aroused, his whole body itching to be as close to the body belonging to his one night stand as possible. As he sits here beside Baekhyun, he feels something similar, but yet it's so entirely different at the same time. Five months ago, the arousal was purely physical, Chanyeol wanting to touch the body that was lying underneath his, but that was it, and with Baekhyun... it's as if Chanyeol wanted to touch the boy's soul much more than his body. Is it some kind of mental arousal? Does it even exist? It must, because that's exactly how Chanyeol feels right now - aside from other confusing things.

So yes, he's definitely going crazy because of Baekhyun's closeness, but not because it makes him feel the previously mentioned physical arousal; he's going crazy because of the message that's hiding behind all the touches.

Baekhyun trusts him.

From what Chanyeol knows about Baekhyun, he would safely assume that Baekhyun is a person who basks in physical contact. He likes touching and he likes being touched just as much, finding comfort in a warm embrace of a person he trusts. When Chanyeol thinks about it more, all those touches could be considered as something like keys to Baekhyun's soul, which is perhaps why Chanyeol enjoys the physical contact with Baekhyun so much; always craving for more while forbidding himself to actually reach out despite his desperate want to collect enough keys to be able to look into Baekhyun's heart.

People say that it isn't the quantity that counts, but the quality instead, though - does it fit Chanyeol's case too? If it did, the many fleeting touches and occasional caresses could be considered nice and lovely, but could never rival the special, emotional hand-holding or a hug Chanyeol gave Baekhyun when the boy was crying his eyes out - and that somehow doesn't sound right, since it were exactly the smallest of touches that made Baekhyun slowly open up in the very beginning, giving Chanyeol the chance to get to him. Besides, if we were to melt all the little keys together, a new, big key would be created, which would prove that it's the little things that count.

However; quantity, quality, little things, bigger things - it doesn't really matter. The thing Chanyeol cares about the most is that the keys he has collected, small or big, were enough to open the doors to Baekhyun's soul, and while it pains Chanyeol to listen about Baekhyun's struggles from childhood, he is also happy to be the one whom Baekhyun shares his pain with because it means that the boy truly trusts him with this kind of personal information - that Baekhyun trusts Chanyeol with himself.

"You know, my father wasn't exactly awful to me, not really," Baekhyun says, adjusting his head on Chanyeol's shoulder. "He mostly ignored me, acted like I wasn't even there. However, there were times when he got really angry with me, and-"

"Has he ever hurt you physically?" Chanyeol can't help but interrupt Baekhyun, feeling immediately angry upon the thought that Baekhyun's father could have laid a hand on the boy.

"No, no, he has never," Baekhyun quickly shakes his head. "He wasn't a violent kind of person. He just screamed a lot when he was angry, but never hit me. It's just that-... It's just that the only time he actually talked to me was when he wanted to scream at me, so it made me sad a lot of times. I had never gotten used to it - him being like this to me, I mean... I remember that I cried a lot when I was a kid because of how things were." Chanyeol doesn't know what to say, and so he simply stays silent while caressing Baekhyun's hand with his thumb, listening to whatever the boy is willing to tell him. "My mom was a sweetheart, though. She gave me enough love for both of them," Baekhyun continues, and Chanyeol can feel how a smile forms on Baekhyun's lips because of how the boy's cheeks pushes against his shoulder. "She always tried to protect me from people who wanted to say mean things to me."

"Did you have hard time at school?"

"I hated school," Baekhyun admits with ease. "Everyone was either mean to me or didn't talk to me at all because their parents had told them about me being a bastard child, which in their language meant that I was something dirty. Even the teachers didn't like me."

"I would have befriended you if I had been there," Chanyeol mutters, to which Baekhyun laughs with that kind of soft, barely audible laugh. Chanyeol likes the sound of it so much, feeling as if he was listening to the prettiest melody that floats in the air and carries itself with ease until it reaches Chanyeol's ears.

"I would have liked that," the boy says wishfully. "It was really a lot to handle, and after some time my mom decided that we should just move elsewhere. My father agreed, and I thought that maybe this could be a start of something... better," the unsaid but hangs heavy in the air, and Chanyeol sits patiently in silence until Baekhyun has enough strength to continue. It takes a few seconds, but then Baekhyun speaks up again, starting his sentence with that terrible word, "But I'd thought wrong, because before we could move elsewhere, everything became a mess once again."

Baekhyun tells Chanyeol the story of how his whole family had been brought to Japan because of the Second World War, and how he spent the next six years educating himself as he followed his mother and other doctors around the medic camp. Chanyeol listens carefully, occasionally asking questions, but mostly being silent and just letting all of the information sink in.

He learns that Baekhyun had wanted to become a doctor even before he was forced to move to Japan with his parents, and while the surroundings he found himself in weren't exactly what he had imagined or hoped for, he was still determined to learn, doing everything that was in his power to help around the camp - as much as a small kid in such environment could help, that is. Surprised, Chanyeol asks how come that Baekhyun wasn't scared by what was happening around him, not understanding how a kid who hadn't even reached the age of ten at that time was so calm about war, to which Baekhyun replies with, "Oh, I was scared. I was beyond terrified, to be honest. But there was no time to panic because of... everything that was going on."

Baekhyun then moves on to explaining how his life in Japan was, and how did he handle the fear, the stress, and the overall pressure, which makes Chanyeol think a lot about his own life. While Baekhyun's whole life was full of difficulties that followed him everywhere as new problems were always added, creating a weight Baekhyun surely had a hard time carrying on his shoulders, Chanyeol had a rather comfortable life before the war started. He has never met his father, but his mother had always given him enough love, the two of them living in the upper town with enough money and power, not having any reason to worry about the future. From what his mother said, Chanyeol knows that the opportunity to live a comfortable life was given to them after his father had saved some high-ranked general, heroically saving him from death, but unfortunately, also taking the man's place on the ripper's list, leaving a pregnant wife alone to keep on living without her beloved husband.

However, his mother, despite not having a husband by her side but having enough sadness in her heart, was the nicest woman Chanyeol has ever met. It was her who taught Chanyeol to be kind instead of being an unreasonable brute, always telling Chanyeol to be his true self and not repressing his emotions. Many peers called him way too soft, stupid and naive, but his mother was always there to tell him that they are the stupid ones. She was the best mother Chanyeol could have wished for, and it broke Chanyeol when the woman that understood him and loved him so much died shortly after he had turned twenty.

It seems that Baekhyun can understand Chanyeol's emotions very well, since, as Chanyeol learns only a few minutes later, Baekhyun's mother died too. "She got very sick in 1945, and there was no way to cure her," Baekhyun says sadly, and Chanyeol lets out another _I'm sorry_ , knowing how awful it is. He wonders how Baekhyun lived after his mother had died, given the bad relationship with his father, and so he asks carefully, his voice indicating that Baekhyun doesn't have to talk anymore if he doesn't want to. However, after saying that it's alright, Baekhyun continues, "He was actually there when it happened because he had been brought to the camp due to his injuries. After she had passed away, it was the first time he spoke to me without any venom in his voice, but I think it was only because - despite what had happened - he still loved mom, and since she was no longer here, he wanted to treasure the last thing that was left of her."

"Were you happy?" Chanyeol questions, remembering how Baekhyun told him about countless nights spent crying because of not being loved by his father.

"Honestly? I don't think so," Baekhyun says as he puts their clasped hands on top of his own, flat stomach, slender fingers tracing the outlines of Chanyeol's veins and fingertips brushing over Chanyeol's knuckles. Immediately, the soldier looks down, following every move of those slim fingers with his eyes and admiring how pretty Baekhyun's hands are, especially liking the adorable beauty mark on the boy's thumb. "I was fourteen already, understood a lot of things I hadn't understood when I was younger, and I just- I didn't care anymore. There was satisfaction that came with him finally acknowledging me, yes, but it wasn't strong enough to make me forgive him. I couldn't forgive him, but I didn't hate him either, so we learned to... live with each other, I guess." After a snort, Baekhyun adds in a tone that is surprisingly not spiteful, but uninterested, as if the boy expected this turn of events, "He still left me here to rot without feeling any remorse, though, right?"

 _Yes, he did. He's an asshole_ , Chanyeol wants to say, but stays silent in the end because while there was definitely a question mark at the end of Baekhyun's sentence, it doesn't mean that an answer is actually necessary. Instead of pointlessly cursing at Baekhyun's father, Chanyeol tells Baekhyun, "You are really amazing. And strong."

"Not really," Baekhyun shakes his head, strands of the boy's hair tickling Chanyeol's neck in the process. "It's just that I really want to wake up one day and feel not only okay, but happy. Truly happy, despite everything. And I'm not giving up until that happens."

Chanyeol feels his heart clenching painfully because while Baekhyun's words might be nice to hear, implying that the boy still has plenty of fight left in him, it's too heartbreaking to hear them at the same time, since the soldier knows that as long as Baekhyun's here, imprisoned in the camp, there is no way he'll reach his dream of waking up happy one day. It hurts to admit it, it really does, but there is nothing good awaiting Baekhyun in the near future, and as much as Chanyeol cares about Baekhyun, there isn't a single thing he can do to change it. It's frustrating that he can't help in any way, and with all of these negative thoughts inside of his head, Chanyeol already knows that he'll stay up all night simply feeling sorry for Baekhyun again, wondering how long will the boy last before reaching his breaking point.

 _Fuck_ , Chanyeol curses in his mind as he feels his eyes watering, and he looks up in a hope that the wetness from his eyes will disappear. However, it proves to be useless because the way Baekhyun plays with his hand so gently is ruining Chanyeol's efforts, making Chanyeol involuntary think about how these pretty fingers that are caressing his hand can be gone forever the very next day - after all, nobody knows what can happen, and right now, as Chanyeol's heart is being attacked by all kinds of emotions, there are many what ifs occupying the soldier's mind, none of them exactly good.

He tries not to cry, he really does try, but all it takes for the tears to fall out of his eyes is Baekhyun saying completely out of blue, "Your hand is really huge, did you know that?"

"It's only because yours are so small," Chanyeol manages to get out before burying his nose into Baekhyun's hair and closing his eyes as he inhales the alluring scent - mix of lilies and something that belongs to Baekhyun specifically. That scent, that hair, that voice, that small hands with the most beautiful fingers; Chanyeol can't image it would all be gone. Or more like, he doesn't want to imagine something like this, because he's scared to death by the possibility that one day, he can really wake up just to realize that there is no Byun Baekhyun anymore. _Be positive_ , a voice in his head says, but Chanyeol ignores it because, really, there is nothing positive about this. If Baekhyun doesn't end up dead one day, he will just get hurt badly every time Woohyun and Heojoon pay him a visit, which isn't exactly Chanyeol's idea of something good happening.

It's not like Chanyeol wants to be negative, it's just that there is nothing positive about this situation at all-

"I like them, though," Baekhyun's voice interrupts his train of thoughts. "Your hands, I mean. They are always warm, strangely enough, even when it's so cold these days." As if to prove his point, Baekhyun takes Chanyeol's hand in both of his, feeling the warmth that radiates from the soldier's skin. "And I also like your shoulder; it's even more comfortable than my pillow... Makes me kinda sleepy because of how good of a pillow it is."

"Then sleep," Chanyeol urges him, his voice coming out more steady than he expected it to be. However, it's only good that the sadness isn't clear in his voice, or Baekhyun would pick up on it and question Chanyeol about it, and Chanyeol really wants Baekhyun to go to sleep instead if the boy is sleepy. After all, it's only normal to be worn out at this hour and after so much talking, and Chanyeol wants nothing more than for Baekhyun to rest if he's tired.

For a few seconds, Baekhyun is quiet, not even moving, but then, "...Will you stay for a bit?" he questions, his tone quiet and sounding as if he was afraid to ask, which is quite surprising, given how brave with giving compliments Baekhyun was just a second ago, making Chanyeol's eyes water more while a slight blush spread across his cheeks.

"Of course I will," is Chanyeol's answer, and the soldier feels the smaller body relaxing beside him after hearing the reply. "Goodnight."

"'Night, Chanyeol."

  
  


With Baekhyun falling asleep right next to him, bodies touching and hands clasped together, Chanyeol realizes that he is truly too attached to the boy already, and that there's no turning back now. As he sits on Baekhyun's bed with nose buried in the boy's hair, being aware that this can easily by the last time they are like this, the soldier physically feels his heart throbbing because imagining a day without Baekhyun in it hurts.

He wonders why is this all happening to Baekhyun. The boy doesn't deserve it; the past full of suffering and pain, and neither the future that's colored so darkly. It's simply unfair, and it makes Chanyeol frustrated, but it also makes him feel completely helpless, because while he desperately wants to help, there's nothing he can do.

While Baekhyun was talking about his life, Chanyeol wished so badly to have some kind of godly powers with which he would be able to give Baekhyun a better childhood, a better past. However, as Baekhyun holds Chanyeol's hand in his, breathing evenly with his cheek squished against Chanyeol's shoulder, the soldier would rather take the option of having those powers to give Baekhyun a better future instead, helping the boy achieve his dream of waking up happy one day.

  
  


It's the very next evening that Baekhyun reveals why he hates the nickname _angel_.

The two of them sit in the same position as yesterday, no space between them and fingers intertwined, when Baekhyun starts with asking, "Yesterday I told you a lot of things, but I haven't gotten to why I hate the nickname, right?"

Chanyeol really doesn't expect this, and that's why he stays silent for a few seconds, shocked. Yes, Baekhyun told him many things yesterday, opening up to Chanyeol and telling him a lot of personal things, but if Chanyeol were to be honest, he didn't think that Baekhyun would want to continue with these personal topics. After all, it must open old wounds when he talks about certain things, and Chanyeol doesn't want Baekhyun's heart hurting just because he is desperate to know every little detail about the boy's life.

"No, you haven't," Chanyeol answers in the end shortly. However, that's all he says, not wanting to look like he's pushing Baekhyun into telling him anything. He might feel his heart jumping in his chest because of excitement, enthusiastic to know another thing about Baekhyun, but he doesn't show it.

"Do you wanna hear now?" Baekhyun asks, tilting his head upwards and catching Chanyeol's gaze.

For a moment, Chanyeol just silently stares back into Baekhyun's eyes, admiring the boy's long, dark eyelashes that look so pretty in contrast to the light color of his eyes, but then he says, "...Yes."

Nodding, Baekhyun breaks the eye-contact, leaning on Chanyeol's shoulder fully again as he focuses his blue orbs on the wall. However, for Chanyeol the grey wall doesn't seem all that interesting, and so he looks down on their intertwined fingers instead, biting into his inner lip to stop himself from cracking a smile at the sight. Their clasped hands look as if though they belonged together, Baekhyun's small one fitting perfectly into Chanyeol's bigger one.

The boy starts with telling Chanyeol how kids at school used to make fun of him, calling him _angel_ mockingly after hearing Baekhyun's mother calling him that at one point. Baekhyun admits he was bothered by it at that time a lot, since the cute nickname his mother had given him was being tarnished as it was spoken with such a taunting tone, but he tried to ignore it because there wasn't anything he could have done about it anyway. He reveals that ignoring it was hard though, since as time passed, it wasn't just his classmates that made fun of the nickname, but also Baekhyun's neighbours and teachers.

As Chanyeol listens to Baekhyun, he feels himself getting upset, frustrated by the way people seemed to have so much fun with making fun of Baekhyun on daily basis. He can't believe that even grown-ups - let alone teachers and caretakers that should have an exemplary behavior - would be low enough to start mocking Baekhyun in such a childish way, calling the boy _angel_ just to tease him spitefully. It all sounds so immature and stupid, and while Chanyeol isn't all that surprised, given that people tend to act awfully when someone breaks an important norm in the society just like Baekhyun's mother did when she had slept with that foreigner and had Baekhyun later on, it still pisses him off because Baekhyun didn't deserve such treatment.

The boy talks more, and Chanyeol finds out that while Baekhyun was really bothered by people taunting him with the nickname in the past, it isn't the only reason why Baekhyun dislikes it so much. However, the boy doesn't have time to get as far as to the second sentence of his explanation before Chanyeol cuts him off, voice high and beyond shocked as he asks with wide eyes, "You sing?"

"I used to," Baekhyun mumbles, and it's clear from his voice that the topic of him singing is a sensitive one, so Chanyeol tries to control his emotions, not wanting to make Baekhyun uncomfortable.

Still, he can't help but whisper, "I didn't know you could sing."

"Because I didn't want you to know," is Baekhyun's reply, but the boy's tone isn't venomous at all, only full of dejection, and it's only for that that Chanyeol doesn't think about the words spoken but about the reason behind that sad voice instead. Soon enough, Baekhyun explains, "I hate my voice a lot but... people seem to like it." The question is, why doesn't Baekhyun look happy about it at all?

"...Is that a bad thing?" Chanyeol asks with uncertainty when the silence stretches.

"I don't know," Baekhyun says, running his free hand through his hair before sitting up straight, heaving a sigh. Immediately, Chanyeol feels cold on the place Baekhyun's head was just as a second ago, and the disappointment in his heart presents itself on his expression as well, the corners of Chanyeol's lips tugged downwards the tiniest bit. At least, their hands are still clasped together.

Chanyeol easily notices that Baekhyun looks troubled, conflicted, but doesn't know if he should ask about it or wait for Baekhyun to explain it himself - after all, it wouldn't be the first time Baekhyun needs an extra minute to collect his emotions, and Chanyeol is always willing to wait, holding Baekhyun's small hand in the meantime.

There are many things Chanyeol expects to hear, truly, but what he certainly doesn't expect is Baekhyun saying that when he sang, it was mostly when someone was dying. "What?" is Chanyeol’s immediate reaction, the soldier blinking rapidly as he wonders if he really heard that right. When Baekhyun repeats the same sentence, Chanyeol realizes that he heard right indeed, but still, it doesn't make sense to him, so he lets another confused _what_ slip through his lips, body frozen as he stares at Baekhyun who avoids his eyes like a plague.

"I- uh," Baekhyun gulps, licking his lips as he squeezes Chanyeol's hand tighter, looking down into his lap. Usually when Baekhyun squeezes his hand, Chanyeol thinks it's because he needs strength that he is able to find in physical contact, but now it looks more like he's holding on to Chanyeol's hand to make sure the soldier won't let go - of his hand, or of him. "The soldiers and medics at the camp that heard me sing always said that my voice is nice. It was nice knowing someone likes my voice, until the person that first complimented me was on their death-bed, and they asked me to sing for them one last time. Others heard, and somehow they-.. I don't know how it happened, but at one point, when someone was dying, they always called me to sing for them because, according to some, my voice was soothing. A-And I wanted to help, so I did as they asked but it-" Baekhyun's eyes are watering, Chanyeol notices and moves closer to the boy, shifting on the bed so he can see Baekhyun's face clearly. "-It became some sort of a regular thing, and they started calling me _angel_ , but then later, it evolved into _angel of death_ , and I hated it so much because I felt like I was the one that wished death upon them with my singing. My mom said it was meant to be a compliment, that I make people leave this world in peace and that's why they call me that, but-"

"Your mother was right," Chanyeol interrupts when he hears Baekhyun's voice cracking, not letting Baekhyun torture himself more with speaking about it, and he rubs soothing circles into the boy's hand with his thumb in a hope that it would help Baekhyun calm down. "You didn't wish death upon them; you were making their last moments better."

"It didn't feel like that," Baekhyun shakes his head, not believing Chanyeol's words. There are unshed tears in his blue eyes that glisten in the moonlight, and Chanyeol wonders how is it possible for Baekhyun to look more sad today than yesterday.

Yesterday, Baekhyun seemed rather alright with talking about his past after seeing that Chanyeol is there for him, no trace of extreme sadness in his behavior until he reached the topic of his mother dying. However, today, when it's not even about him but about other people, Baekhyun is already ready to cry at the thought that he might have ruined someone's last moments on this planet, even going as far as thinking that it was him who wished death upon a person.

"Baekhyun," the name rolls off his tongue easily as if it was meant only for Chanyeol to say, and Baekhyun probably thinks so as well, because he finally looks up again and meets Chanyeol's eyes upon hearing his name being whispered. When their gazes meet, Chanyeol drowns not only in the blue of Baekhyun's orbs, but also in the sadness they hold, and he wants nothing more than to chase this sadness away forever because the sea that are Baekhyun's eyes deserves to be as calm as Chanyeol imagines it to be on a sunny day, trouble and worries in the form of strong winds that would make the sea stormy nonexistent. "I have never heard you sing," Chanyeol starts saying, and it's on impulse that he reaches out his hand and cups Baekhyun's cheek, careful not to put too much pressure on the bruises there. "But if I were to die, I'd be the happiest person if your voice was the last thing I'd hear - singing or not."

Baekhyun blinks, and Chanyeol expects some of the tears to fall out of his eyes, but instead, Baekhyun's eyes slowly dry again. They are still somewhat glassy, but they have a different spark now, holding the pretty glint Chanyeol longed to see. "You once told me that I speak nicely," Baekhyun says, and the beautiful smile that breaks the boy's sorrowful expression makes Chanyeol's heart skip a beat. "But it's actually you who's really good with words."

"I'm just telling you what's on my mind," Chanyeol's voice softens, and while it's still indeed his own deep voice, it sounds so different in comparison to the one he uses when he speaks with other people. Perhaps this tone is strictly reserved for Baekhyun only. "I wouldn't lie to you."

"I know," Baekhyun whispers, the look in his eyes telling Chanyeol that the boy is being completely honest. "I know you wouldn't."

"Then you have to believe me when I say that the things you are blaming yourself for are not your fault."

"You still don't know a lot of things about me," is Baekhyun's response, and it somehow sounds like a challenge.

So Chanyeol takes it. "Then tell me," the soldier says, staring into Baekhyun's eyes intensely, one of his hands holding Baekhyun's and the other one cupping Baekhyun's cheek that is still so smooth despite already taking so many hits. Again, there is excitement flowing through Chanyeol's body, but his heart is beating calmly, as if it was familiar with Baekhyun already, as if it welcomed Baekhyun inside a long time ago.

As if Baekhyun belonged here from the start, way before they even met.

Lips curled into a lovely smile, Baekhyun leaps forward all of sudden, and for a moment Chanyeol thinks that the boy is going to kiss him - a thing Chanyeol shouldn't dare to think about - but then, in the end, Baekhyun only lets his body fall on Chanyeol's, seemingly not doubting for a second that Chanyeol will wrap his arms around the smaller body.

And Chanyeol doesn't disappoint Baekhyun's expectations - when the boy's chin comes to rest on his shoulder, the thin body limp in his hold, the soldier circles Baekhyun's waist and slips his other hand to Baekhyun's nape, fingers curling in to the dark locks as his eyes close. It's comfortable, holding Baekhyun like this. And by comfortable, Chanyeol means that it feels like holding the most precious thing on the whole planet, treasuring it in his arms and protecting it from whatever harm.

"You are too kind," Baekhyun mumbles as he shifts and buries his nose into Chanyeol's neck. "I don't deserve you."

"You do," Chanyeol says without even having to think. _You deserve it way more than you think. You deserve everything good. You deserve way more than I can give you._ There are so many things Chanyeol wants to tell Baekhyun, but instead he only asks, "Will you sing for me sometime?"

"...Sometime," is what Baekhyun answers with after a while, and despite it not being much, it's still a promise Chanyeol decides to hold on to.

  
  
  
  
  
  


The following day, Chanyeol learns about how Baekhyun had met Sehun, and how Sehun was killed in front of his eyes when the war - and all the chaos that comes with it - started. Again, Baekhyun blames himself for his only friend's death, and Chanyeol is starting to think that there is not a single thing the boy doesn't blame himself for. He also thinks that the fact that Baekhyun tends to blame himself for things that aren't even his fault is because of Baekhyun's father acting like a piece of shit when Baekhyun was young - after all, the boy's father was the first one who threw blame at the boy while Baekhyun hadn't done anything wrong, and this must have been the first factor that made Baekhyun believe that the bad things that happen around him have something to do with him.

Which is false, obviously, but Baekhyun doesn't seem to see that. It's the exact opposite, actually - Baekhyun refuses to believe that his friend's death wasn't his fault, just like he refuses to believe that him singing to dying soldiers is, in fact, a good thing, and just like he refuses to believe so many other things. Baekhyun is making himself out to be the devil, while, in reality, he's actually pure innocence and kindness in person. An angel.

When Chanyeol says that Sehun's death wasn't Baekhyun's fault, repeating the same words from previous days about Baekhyun having nothing to do with things that happened, Baekhyun counters immediately with, "It was my fault, though." Then, a more detailed explanation of what happened comes, but even after twenty minutes or so of Baekhyun explaining things, Chanyeol still can't see how Sehun getting killed could be considered Baekhyun's fault. However, he sees why would Baekhyun think that he is to blame for his friend's death, and Chanyeol can't possibly find the words to describe how sad and frustrated he is about Baekhyun punishing himself mentally for something that wasn't his fault in the slightest.

"It was his own fault, Baekhyun. Not yours."

"I could have helped him."

"You couldn't," Chanyeol arguments.

"I could have tried," Baekhyun stubbornly says, and Chanyeol wants to scream. But not at Baekhyun; he wants to scream at everyone who have ever took part in making Baekhyun feel like something was his fault even though it wasn't, and he wants to scream at everyone who have ever made Baekhyun feel shitty for even one second. The boy doesn't deserve it, any of the things that have happened or are yet to happen, and Chanyeol will repeat it until his very last day on this planet.

What is there to say to make Baekhyun understand that some things are simply not his fault, and that he couldn't have helped in any way, though? It seems that everything Chanyeol tells Baekhyun eases the boy's pained heart only temporary but isn't very effective in the long run, and Chanyeol is going crazy because of it, since he wants to help Baekhyun so desperately. He wants the boy to finally stop blaming himself and to let go of the regrets that have been eating him from inside for such a long time now, but there is seemingly nothing Chanyeol can do to end Baekhyun's mental suffering.

And so, seeing that Baekhyun won't let go so easily of the blame he thinks is his, Chanyeol does the only thing he can do without possibility failing the task; the soldier holds Baekhyun close, letting him know that those arms that are wrapped around his slim body are completely judgement-free - just like they were two days ago, just like they were yesterday, and just like they will always be, giving Baekhyun nothing but endless support and comfort.

Chanyeol wishes that Baekhyun would stop blaming himself, since nothing was his fault to begin with, but it doesn't really matter what Chanyeol wishes for because as long as the boy refuses to believe in Chanyeol's words - or in Baekhyun's case, refuses to forgive himself for the things that happened - then the unreasonable guilt will always be there to torture his poor heart. Perhaps it's just wishful thinking, but Chanyeol truly hopes that Baekhyun will reach peace in the future and that maybe one day, he'll realize that he didn't take part in those bad things that happened in his life, and that he wasn't the cause of other people's - or his own - misery either.

Imagining the sorrow and regrets Baekhyun must carry in his heart, Chanyeol feels incredibly bad for the boy, wanting to volunteer and take at least half of the pain away - if not all of it. However, that's physically not possible, and so Chanyeol opts for a more realistic way of thinking, promising himself to at least give Baekhyun enough comfort to make the boy not forget, but accept his past and move on, if nothing more.

Hopefully, when the time that Baekhyun is finally alright and no longer chained to his past comes, Chanyeol will be there to see it.

And maybe, just maybe, he will also get to hold Baekhyun just like he is holding him now, the boy pressed against his body, fingers intertwined with Chanyeol's as kind words are shared in the quietness of the room.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Things with Baekhyun are going fine. Perfect even, and perhaps that's why Chanyeol kind of forgets about the outside world in the midst of enjoying Baekhyun's company, the two them talking the days away.

After Baekhyun has already told Chanyeol all about his secrets and regrets, coming clean with his past, the atmosphere is so much better when they are spending time together, talking or not. It hadn't been bad before, far from that actually, but it's clear that Baekhyun is way more comfortable now when he doesn't have to look out for what he says in case of slipping and telling Chanyeol something too personal that Chanyeol shouldn't know. Baekhyun seems far more relaxed, and while Chanyeol felt sorry for the boy when Baekhyun talked about the events in his life that had broken his heart into millions of pieces, he is also glad at the same time about Baekhyun opening up because it's so clear that the boy feels more free after having nothing to hide anymore.

Not only the atmosphere has changed, though. There's the way Baekhyun became more touchy as well.

Before, when Baekhyun reached out to touch Chanyeol while seeking comfort, the boy seemed to be careful, wary, and even doubtful, as if he was afraid that Chanyeol is going to push him away. However, now, Baekhyun is bold with touching; he definitely isn't scared to reach out for Chanyeol, even hold the soldier's hand or throw himself at the man without doubting that Chanyeol will hold him close.

And Chanyeol likes it way too much. It's not only him being okay with Baekhyun touching him, or him letting the boy enter his personal space simply because Baekhyun needs comfort, no - he really is saying the truth when he says that he likes it, everything about it. He likes Baekhyun being close to him, no space between their bodies as they embrace each other. He likes Baekhyun's natural scent that is distinguishable even though the boy washes himself with the lilies scented soap. He likes Baekhyun whispering words into his ear when the boy is leaning on his shoulder, voice softer than anyone Chanyeol has ever had a chance of meeting.

But most of all, he likes the feel of Baekhyun in his arms, which is a scary realization because he definitely shouldn't feel like that. He also shouldn't like any of the things mentioned either, and yet... Chanyeol can't help himself.

He likes Baekhyun, and it's as terrifying as it is exciting.

  
  


However, Chanyeol doesn't really have time to enjoy this new-found emotion because the day Heojoon and Woohyun are to return comes quicker than expected, bringing along incredible fear that replaces the happiness and affection that was in Chanyeol's heart until now. Every single time Baekhyun is to be interrogated Chanyeol worries for the boy a lot, but now the fear is stronger, given that Chanyeol is very aware of the fact that Baekhyun's body has not yet recovered from the last time and is definitely not ready to take another dose of hits. It's only been a week and while the bruises and small cuts on Baekhyun's face have gotten better, the same can't be said for the rest of the boy's body, and Chanyeol is scared that this time the aftermaths could be so much worse than any of the times before. Then, there is also the question of Baekhyun's mental state that's adding to Chanyeol's concern, the soldier not sure if Baekhyun's soul, mind and heart wouldn't be way more damaged than the boy's body after today's encounter with Woohyun and Heojoon.

On top of all that, Chanyeol was summoned to the office by the general after lunch, and he feels himself getting more and more anxious with every passing second that he wastes away with standing outside of the office door, waiting to be let in. It's not like Chanyeol is looking forward to the meeting with the general - it's actually the opposite - but he truly wants to get this over with as soon as possible so he go back to Baekhyun, afraid that Woohyun and Heojoon could come to interrogate the boy while Chanyeol is still stuck here, and Baekhyun would be alone there then, without Chanyeol to put a stop to things if the two soldiers went too far - which they for sure will, because the two has gotten more violent recently.

For someone who wished to have it over with so badly though, Chanyeol sure doesn't look anything even remotely close to happy when he is finally called inside, the guards opening the door to Chanyeol with neutral expressions. There is a lump in his throat and it's hard to even greet the general verbally, and so instead of speaking, he just bows wordlessly after he comes to stand in the middle of the room, eyes wavering as he stares ahead, gaze focused on the wall in front of him. It's cold in the room, but Chanyeol feels his body sweating while waiting for the general's words anyway, palms wet as he clenches and unclenches them soon after.

However, it all ends quickly without pointless beating around the bush, the general's orders clear. "You will start working in the kitchens from Monday. There's no need for you to keep an eye on the prisoner all day, so it'll be more beneficial if you helped with cooking, or doing small assignments instead of being with the boy all the time. You will still take care of him and live in the same building, but you will also work in the kitchens. Any questions?"

Chanyeol knows he should be quiet. He knows it. And yet, he says, "He's been in a bad condition lately, and I'm afraid that something will happen to him if I'm away almost all day-"

"Are we talking about his possible death?" the general asks, but he doesn't sound all that bothered despite the seriousness of the question.

With heavy heart, Chanyeol answers with, "Maybe." After all, one can never know how things will be, especially after today's planned visit of Heojoon and Woohyun who are definitely not going to go easy on the boy. Maybe this time, Baekhyun won't have the strength to pull through this and something worse than him passing out will happen. Chanyeol doesn't even want to think about it.

"The prisoner dying isn't too much of a concern, given that he's practically useless. He won't tell us anything, and his father doesn't want him either, so if he died, it wouldn't really be a loss," what the general says makes Chanyeol's blood boil, but he keeps his composure despite the anger flowing through his veins. Baekhyun is talked about as if he was nothing but an object that has no worth, and as much as it's frustrating to hear such things, Chanyeol is in no position to say anything about it. All he can do is ignore it. "However, I guess we should keep him alive for a little bit longer. Who knows, maybe he'll finally decide to speak." The general makes a pause, thinking about it a little before deciding, "I suppose that if I don't want the prisoner to die so soon, he can't be left alone almost the whole day in a case something happens. However, we are missing one person in the kitchens and you have experience with working there, so it'd be good if you helped..." Another pause, a deep sigh, and then the final order is spoken from the old man's mouth, "Let's forget about it for now. I will find another person for the work in the kitchens, so just take care of that boy. If something changes, I'll call for you again."

"Yes, sir," is everything Chanyeol says, bowing. "I'll be on my leave, then."

"Keep him alive, Park Chanyeol. If he dies, it's on you," are the general's last words that accompany Chanyeol's leave, and the soldier feels his heart clenching painfully, shivers running down his spine as he imagines Baekhyun dying.

If Baekhyun passed away, Chanyeol would get in trouble, that's for sure. There would be cruel consequences, but despite knowing that, Chanyeol - instead of worrying about the punishment that would certainly await him for failing his task - can only think about how he would never forgive himself if he was unsuccessful to save Baekhyun from death.

Shaking his head to get rid of such thoughts, Chanyeol walks away from the building after bidding goodbye to the two guards who close the door behind him with the same neutral expressions as before. He makes his way through the camp and back to Baekhyun then, trying his best to chase the worry away from his features as he walks, knowing that if Baekhyun saw his face looking like that, he would start asking Chanyeol about it, and Chanyeol doesn't want that. Baekhyun has surely enough things to worry about as it is now, and the soldier shouldn't be adding more to that already large pile.

It's only when Chanyeol is a few meters away from Baekhyun's and his building that he hears a loud, blood-curling scream which pierces through the air and breaks his concentration. The moment the scream hits his ears, Chanyeol's eyes widen in shock upon the realization that the voice is familiar. Way too familiar - and belonging to no other person than Baekhyun.

He doesn't think when he starts running. He simply runs, his long legs probably moving faster than ever before - or more like, moving as fast as all those weeks ago when he was bringing Baekhyun meal and heard the boy yelling for help for the very first time, finding out later that the cause of Baekhyun's screaming was an unpleasant encounter with Heojoon and Woohyun. Sadly, as Chanyeol runs toward the building with incredible speed, he thinks that now the reason isn't any different.

It feels like a déja-vu; the rapid beating of his heart, the fear and worry seizing his body, the many horrible but possible images running through his mind upon hearing another loud yell - it's all the same as that time. The only two differences might be that currently he doesn't have any food trays he can drop to the ground before breaking into a sprint, and that all of his emotions are thousands times more intense, for now Baekhyun is much more dear to him than he was before.

The distance he has to run to reach the building seems way bigger than it actually is, but in the end, after what seems like forever, Chanyeol's hand is finally touching the front door's handle, the soldier pushing it down and pulling the door open in a speed of light. It's not even a second later that something crashes into him, making him stumble backwards because of the collision, and Chanyeol soon realizes that it's not a something, but a someone.

Baekhyun.

The boy is crying, trembling and mumbling pleas under his breath while trying to push Chanyeol aside, not even realizing that it's Chanyeol in front of him because he is too busy with trying to run away. "P-Please let me go, please let me go," Baekhyun repeats over and over again in hurry, eyes wide in fear as he keeps looking back at the building behind him while continuously attempting to make his way through, heart-wrenching sobs escaping his bow-shaped lips in the process.

"Baekhyun, calm down," Chanyeol starts, voice full of unmasked panic and hands trying to get a hold of the boy who, unfortunately, only yanks away every time. "Please, Baekhyun. Please."

Chanyeol doesn't know what's happening, his brain not processing the situation yet, but one thing he knows for sure is that nothing good can be going on if Baekhyun is so out of it, crying and pleading hysterically. He tries to speak to Baekhyun again, his voice sounding equally as scared as the boy looks, but Baekhyun doesn't seem to be listening at all despite Chanyeol trying so hard to get the words through - instead of listening, Baekhyun only keeps crying and pushing Chanyeol's hands away without even bothering to look up and find out who is attempting to reach out to him.

Eventually though, Chanyeol succeeds in grabbing the boy by his arms, and it's only when Baekhyun looks him in the eye that the boy finally stills, freezing completely upon realizing that it's Chanyeol holding him. "Chan-" Baekhyun chokes out, but his quiet voice is soon interrupted by angry yells coming from inside the building.

"Fucking go catch him! We're dead if he escapes!"

"It was your stupid idea, you idiot!"

Chanyeol looks past Baekhyun, eyes following the voices, and just as expected, he sees Heojoon with Woohyun in trail, the faces of both males filled with fury as they walk out of Baekhyun's room and step into the hall. Immediately, Baekhyun whimpers and starts trembling again, tears rolling down his cheeks without stopping as he continues pleading Chanyeol to let him go, to let him run away.

"Oh, Park," Heojoon stops when he sees Chanyeol holding Baekhyun. "Good thing you caught him. Saved us a lot of work and trouble."

"What did you do?" Chanyeol asks instead, the question falling out of his mouth spitefully as he brings Baekhyun closer, the grip on Baekhyun's arms strong but not enough to hurt him - never enough to hurt him. "What the fuck did you do?"

Baekhyun doesn't scream during Woohyun and Heojoon's visits; he mostly keeps quiet, only whimpering and crying quietly as they beat him, but now Baekhyun was yelling his lungs out when trying to make the two assholes stop hurting him. He even went as far as trying to escape while knowing very well that there's nowhere to run off to anyway, and Baekhyun is definitely too smart to think that his attempt to run away would end successfully or do him any good. The boy must have had a reason to do something so reckless, so out of character for him, and Chanyeol has to find out what it was. "I'm asking, what did you-"

Then he sees it; there's a knife in Heojoon's hand, and suddenly no words are needed.

The color drains from Chanyeol's face immediately, and for a moment he just stands there frozen as he lets it all sink in, eyes focused on the drop of crimson liquid that slides from the blade and falls on the ground. Another drop follows soon after, then one more, and it's only when the fourth one meets the ground that Chanyeol breaks out of his trance and pulls away from Baekhyun shakily, searching the small body for damage. He prays to find none, prays that the blood on Heojoon's blade isn't Baekhyun's, but his prayers go unheard.

Underneath the hand that Baekhyun is holding to his stomach, there is obviously a wound. A large one.

"Oh my god," Chanyeol whispers while staring at Baekhyun's pretty fingers that are covered with blood that flows out of the wound. "W-What-" he can't get the words out, a lump being created in his throat. How come that he didn't notice this sooner? After all, there's too much red for the injury to go overlooked. "W-What is this?" stuttering out in the end, Chanyeol looks up and meets Baekhyun's eyes, feeling his heart breaking upon seeing the pained look full of misery in the blue orbs. His hold on the boy's arms loosens, strength leaving Chanyeol's body as if on cue.

"He's alright, it's nothing serious," Heojoon says casually. "He just over-reacted a little."

"What are you saying.." Chanyeol mumbles, not believing that Heojoon dared to say something like that, but instead of replying to the man, he quickly takes off his jacket and his shirt, not thinking twice about undressing himself despite the unpleasant mid-October weather. Upper body free of any clothing, Chanyeol then throws the jacket over Baekhyun's shoulders to shield the boy from cold wind before he kneels down and pulls Baekhyun's pretty hand away from the wounded stomach, using the shirt to put pressure on the injury and, hopefully, stop the bleeding.

"C'mon man - it's really not that serious," Woohyun joins too, voice impatient and frustrated. "Bring him back in or else someone will see."

Chanyeol, however, isn't listening at all, only focusing on the boy and the horrific wound.

Baekhyun is trembling slightly as Chanyeol tends to him, legs looking like they are going to give out any second, and in hopes to give the boy some sort of strength or support, Chanyeol uses one of his hands to wrap his fingers around Baekhyun's wrist tenderly, conveying a clear message of _I'm here_. Woohyun and Heojoon must see it for sure, but Chanyeol currently doesn't care at all, his only concern being Baekhyun.

"Fucking Park, just-"

"Shut up!" Chanyeol yells, cutting Heojoon off when the older man tries to speak up once more. Baekhyun jerks underneath his fingertips when Chanyeol raises his voice all of sudden, but Chanyeol assures him quickly with a gentle caress that the screaming nor the angered tone is not directed at him, but at the two assholes who are acting like nothing's happened.

"No, you shut up and stop making such a big deal out of something so small!" of course, Heojoon wouldn't back down that easily.

"Small?!" Chanyeol asks with rage. "Are you even listening to yourself?!"

"I am, you brat," comes out of Heojoon's mouth, and in the next second, Chanyeol can see the man walking towards him and Baekhyun in a fast pace, the knife gripped tightly in the older one’s hand. Sensing danger, Chanyeol stands up from where he was kneeing on the ground right away and comes to stand in front of Baekhyun instead, shielding the boy. The protective action seems to anger Heojoon even more, the soldier spitting out, "If you've forgotten, I will gladly remind you that you can't step in during interrogation."

"I can step in when you're going past the line of acceptable," Chanyeol counters, a deep frown on his face. What he's saying might not be all that true, but his orders are to keep Baekhyun alive, so he isn't exactly lying either.

"Are you deaf?" Heojoon questions. "I've already told you - it's nothing big. The wound is superficial. I've only cut him a little." Suddenly, the anger disappears from the man's face, a cocky expression replacing the angry one, and when a smirk is added just a second later, Chanyeol feels a shiver run down his spine - this change isn't indicating anything good. "I just wanted to give him a reminder of what he is - what he'll forever be."

"And what is that?"

Snorting, Heojoon answers with a devilish smile, "Our property - the property of North. And what's a better way to make sure that the brat won't forget about it than to write it on him?"

"Don't you fucking tell me that you did what I think you did," Chanyeol shakes his head in disbelief, his voice coming out as a menacing growl.

"Look for yourself and find out if I'm lying or not," Heojoon raises his eyebrows daringly, and Chanyeol feels his heart dropping to his stomach because Heojoon doesn't look like he's joking at all, and that's exactly what Chanyeol has feared. Still though, Heojoon likes to play around a lot, and with that in mind, Chanyeol turns around to face Baekhyun, hoping that this is one of Heojoon's stupid jokes as well and that while Baekhyun is injured, there are no degrading letters carved into his flesh. However, when Baekhyun looks up and meets Chanyeol's eyes, face wet with tears and chin quivering, Chanyeol understands that Heojoon was completely serious about this, and as he continues staring into Baekhyun's blue orbs, the small flame of hope in his heart quickly extinguishes. "Not gonna look in the end? I mean, it's not finished because he managed to escape, but it's still pretty decent-"

"You're crazy," Chanyeol whispers, cutting the man off as he turns back to him, disgusted.

"Whatever," is Heojoon's response, accompanied by an eye-roll. "Just let's go inside already, or someone will really see us," then, after a short pause, Heojoon attempts to reach for Baekhyun again as he says with a smirk, "We have to finish the masterpiece after all."

"You're not finishing anything," Chanyeol slaps Heojoon's hand away, frowning deeply. "You're done for today."

Rising his eyebrows again, Heojoon steps closer to Chanyeol, taking advantage of the tiny height difference between them - as if the fact that he has maybe one centimeter on Chanyeol should scare the younger. "We are definitely not done," Heojoon spits out, mirroring Chanyeol's frown. "We have work to do here-"

"Well, then I guess your work is finished, because I'm not letting you - either of you - touch him," Chanyeol counters, not backing down. He is aware that this could cause him trouble in the long run if the general hears about this - which he for sure will, sooner or later - but, somehow, Chanyeol doesn't care all that much. Or more like, right now, he doesn't care at all, foolish bravery taking over him as he desperately tries to protect Baekhyun from any more harm.

"Chanyeol, the decision isn't yours to make," Woohyun speaks up, coming up from behind and pulling Heojoon back, clearly seeing that if he doesn't step in, things would get bad. Heojoon doesn't look all that happy about being forced to drop the fight, but the grip Woohyun has on the man's shoulder is not giving him many possibilities.

"Did you agree to this?" Chanyeol asks Woohyun instead. "I thought you're the one who is reasonable, at least a little, so how in the world did you allow him to do this?"

Sighing, clearly annoyed but keeping his cool, Woohyun says, "We have to make the boy talk, one way or another."

"By doing this? By craving such things into his skin? What's the point in that?" throwing one question after another at Woohyun, Chanyeol feels another wave of rage washing over him as the words fall out of his mouth.

"People react to different things. Maybe this could have made him speak," Woohyun reasons. "He ran off, so we don't know. That's why we should finally go back and-"

"You're not listening - you won't touch him," Chanyeol repeats, straightening up, using his height as well. "For today, you are done here."

He expects an argument, maybe a punch from Heojoon who looks ready to fight for real, but Chanyeol is surprised when after a few seconds of silence and intense eye-contact, Woohyun declares, "Fine." It takes a moment for Chanyeol to process the single word, but when he does, his eyes go wide in surprise. However, there is doubt in his look as he stares at Woohyun, not believing that the two would give up so easily, and Woohyun must get the message Chanyeol is so un-subtly conveying with his eyes, because the man is quick to add, "I'm doing this just because it's clear you're not going to give up, and I don't have the energy to deal with you."

"I have enough-"

Heojoon tries, but Woohyun talks over him, continuing, "This is a one-time thing, though. Don't get used to it, because next time we come, we will have zero mercy with him." With that said, Woohyun tugs at Heojoon's jacket, urging the other man to follow him. "Remember it." Chanyeol doesn't say anything in response, only watching the two when they pass him, sharing a meaningful look with Woohyun.

When he sees Heojoon glaring at Baekhyun from the corners of his eyes as the two walk away, he doesn't waste a second before glaring back at the older man and shielding Baekhyun with his body again, arm outstretched in front of the boy to convey the message of back off very clearly. Heojoon frowns but then turns his head away upon having his arm squeezed by Woohyun, giving up on the argument and accepting Woohyun's decision despite being frustrated by the outcome of the situation.

For now, Baekhyun is safe. However, the look accompanied by a disgusting, sly smirk that Heojoon directs at Baekhyun when the two soldiers are already a safe distance away from them is saying that the next time they come, Baekhyun will be everything but safe.

"Let's go inside," Chanyeol says instead of thinking about the next encounter with the two, turning around fully again to face Baekhyun. After all, his worries can wait a little bit longer, but Baekhyun's injury can't.

Baekhyun stays silent, only nodding without looking at Chanyeol, gaze focused on the ground as they walk back with slow, careful steps. Chanyeol takes a hold of Baekhyun's hand, holding it tightly while leading Baekhyun into the building, not letting go of the slender, trembling fingers the whole time. With how many glances he throws at Baekhyun's bloody stomach covered with a white-turned-red shirt, Chanyeol expects to trip at least once at some point, given that he pays more attention to Baekhyun than to do path ahead, but fortunately, no such thing happens.

A minute ago, Chanyeol's blood was boiling with rage, but now when the two soldiers are gone and it's just him and Baekhyun, the anger mixes with panic. Heojoon might have said that the wounds are superficial, but that man is crazy, and Chanyeol has a hard time believing it, especially when there is so much blood flowing out of the wound - even more than before. On top of that, Baekhyun is also looking paler, which worries Chanyeol quite a lot.

"Lie down," Chanyeol says, guiding Baekhyun to the bed in the corner of the room. Baekhyun obeys, still not saying a word, and the silence only stresses out Chanyeol more because Baekhyun always talks to him, no matter how badly beaten up he is. The boy always tries to at least assure Chanyeol with one word that he's fine - as fine as he can be - but now it's... nothing. Baekhyun won't even look at him, expression unreadable as he stares at the ceiling after lying down on the bed, and that's why Chanyeol opts to ask, "Are you unwell? Are you going to pass out?"

Instead of answering verbally, Baekhyun just shakes his head no, licking his lips as he continues looking up, black strands of hair messy on the white pillow. Chanyeol sighs, running a hand through his hair before he averts his gaze from Baekhyun's face, letting it fall on the boy's hand that's still pressing the now-crimson-colored shirt against the wound instead. He decides that while Baekhyun's behavior is definitely unsettling, right now Chanyeol has to focus more on treating him than questioning him, and so, after telling Baekhyun that he'll be right back, Chanyeol quickly disappears to his own room in order to get the things he regularly uses to take care of Baekhyun's injuries, coming back with hands full of medical supplies and other helpful things.

"Okay.. okay," the soldier says in hope to calm down, knowing that if he is stressed like that, his treatment will be even worse than his actual skills allow it to be. He needs to focus fully and stop panicking if he wants to do this right, because this isn't just small cuts and bruises anymore.

Taking a deep breath, Chanyeol sets all of the supplies on the small table next to the boy's bed, and after checking that Baekhyun hasn't passed out, he takes two large bowls from the chair and goes to fill them with hot water, mixing in cold water afterwards until the temperature is warm but not enough to hurt Baekhyun. Putting the full bowls on the ground after returning back from the bathroom, Chanyeol takes a cloth in his hands and lets it soak in the water while he takes a look at the wound.

"Can I?" Chanyeol questions, asking for permission, his fingers brushing against Baekhyun's. Baekhyun seems to hesitate, squeezing the shirt slightly before moving his hand away, letting Chanyeol uncover his injured stomach. Before the soldier does so though, he takes one last look at Baekhyun, only to find his heart hurting upon seeing the tears-streaked cheeks and quivering lower lip, fading bruises the only thing that brings color to the boy's pale face.

Gulping and averting his eyes, focusing them on Baekhyun's stomach again, Chanyeol slowly pulls the shirt away from the wound, and he feels like his breath is knocked out of him when he sees the message craved into Baekhyun's smooth skin. The letters are clear, cut into the flash deep enough to definitely leave a scar, and Chanyeol's jaw and fists clench upon the sight. The word _property_ is looking back at him, a long cut there instead of the last, unfinished letter, and Chanyeol hates it.

He wants to curse, to scream, but he does none of it - he just lets the dirty shirt fall on the floor in defeat and presses his clenched fist against his mouth, because more than feeling anger at this moment, Chanyeol feels guilt, sorrow and hopelessness. This mark... This mark will stay on the boy's body forever after all, and Chanyeol is so sorry for failing to protect Baekhyun from this. While he logically knows that it wasn't his fault and that he couldn't do anything about it because he was talking to the general at that time, he can't help but still feel the blame partially despite Baekhyun telling him so many times in the past not to feel guilty for these things.

"You're doing it again," Baekhyun speaks for the first time in a while, and Chanyeol realizes that his expression must have spoken for his feelings if Baekhyun was able to pick up on it so quickly. On the other hand, it's not that hard to read this expression on Chanyeol's face, given that Baekhyun is so familiar with it after all this time.

"I know," Chanyeol admits, sighing. Seeing that the bleeding hasn't been stopped yet, he takes another clean, dry cloth from the table and presses it against Baekhyun's stomach gently, ears catching the boy's sharp inhale of breath as he does so. The crimson liquid seeps through right away, but Chanyeol finds the sight easier to bear than the one of the letters cut into Baekhyun's skin.

"You promised me not to feel guilty for something that isn't your fault," Baekhyun says quietly after exhaling deeply, trying to make his body relax as Chanyeol tends to him.

"I'm trying," replies Chanyeol, glancing up to meet Baekhyun's eyes. "I really am, it's just- this-... it's hard not to feel bad when I know that I could have done something if I was here."

Chanyeol is repeating himself, he is aware of it, but this situation is different from the previous times; in the past, Chanyeol felt stupidly guilty for not being able to protect Baekhyun while knowing there was nothing he could do anyway, but today... he could have stopped it if he was here. If he had went to the general sooner, maybe he would have already been back by the time Woohyun and Heojoon arrived. It's the fact that this time he actually could have done something to prevent Baekhyun from getting hurt that's killing him.

Baekhyun doesn't say anything back afterwards, but Chanyeol doesn't speak either. Instead, he focuses fully on cleaning the cuts after the bleeding stops, carefully wiping the blood away with a cloth soaked in warm water. His stomach turns uncomfortably every time he has to lay his eyes on the degrading letters, and he feels disgusted upon remembering how proud Heojoon looked when he talked about his masterpiece. By now, Chanyeol doesn't have a single doubt about Heojoon being completely sick, but this knowledge is sadly not enough to save Baekhyun from the crazy man in the future, no matter how much Chanyeol wishes to protect the poor boy.

"I'll kill him for this," Chanyeol mumbles, more to himself than to Baekhyun. Slowly, the anger returns again when Chanyeol realizes that Heojoon was enjoying himself when he did this to Baekhyun, probably even smiling while giving Baekhyun such a disgusting mark. "He might think that he can get away with this, but he's wrong," Chanyeol continues, frowning. He doesn't know why he's talking to himself, voicing his thoughts when Baekhyun is right here listening to it all, but the soldier must admit that after saying that he'll kill Heojoon, he feels somehow better. "I'll make him suffer for everything he's done to you."

Despite Baekhyun definitely hearing him, the boy doesn't say anything, only lying quietly on the bed while Chanyeol tends to him, new drops of tears sliding down his cheeks every time the soldier chances a glance at his face. Chanyeol has seen Baekhyun cry a lot of times, but never quite like this, with Baekhyun's face completely free of emotions, neutral, as he stares at the ceiling. It makes Chanyeol feel uneasy because he knows Baekhyun well by now and this is so out of character for the boy - Baekhyun always wears his emotions on sleeve, after all, and now Chanyeol can't read Baekhyun no matter how hard he tries. There's something off about him, and Chanyeol isn't sure if he should ask about it or not.

For now, though, he decides to keep his mouth shut, only curses directed at Heojoon - and Woohyun eventually too - leaving his mouth during the treatment. Maybe it's childish, and maybe Baekhyun thinks so as well, but Chanyeol knows that as things are now, he can't go against Heojoon with the goal of killing him in mind, which means that the only way to vent out his frustration is through cursing the asshole. So, even if it's immature, Chanyeol would like to continue like this, feeling the tiniest bit better when he talks about how he would hurt Heojoon, the man finally being the one on the receiving end of strong punches for a change.

  
  


When Chanyeol is done with cleaning the wound, he carefully puts an antibiotic ointment on the cuts, apologizing to Baekhyun every time the boy's body as much as jerks in pain. Initially, Chanyeol wanted to put the ointment on quickly to spare Baekhyun from suffering, but seeing how deep some of the cuts are, Chanyeol decided to be slower but more precise instead, afraid that if he neglected only one millimeter of the injury, Baekhyun could get infection. If something like that happened, Chanyeol wouldn't know what to do anymore, his medical skills not good enough.

After a few minutes, Chanyeol deems the wound clean enough to be patched up. Again, he is very careful as he puts gauze pads on the cuts, being even more gentle when he sees that Baekhyun is in pain. By the end of the treatment, when he's wrapping roll bandage around Baekhyun's thin waist and does a knot to finish it off, Chanyeol's fingertips barely touch the boy's body, and when they do, it's feathery-like.

Nodding to himself, Chanyeol looks up into Baekhyun's face, asking the boy if he's tired after seeing how Baekhyun's eyelids flutter close.

"Not really," Baekhyun says, but his voice gives him away just like his closed eyes.

"You should take a nap before dinner," Chanyeol suggest as he puts the left-over roll bandage on the table, scurrying closer to Baekhyun and brushing a few locks of black hair from his forehead. As if on cue, Baekhyun opens his eyes again slightly, meeting Chanyeol's brown orbs and smiling the tiniest bit. However, it's not his usual small, shy smile that Chanyeol likes so much. There is something different in the way the corners of Baekhyun's lips are tugged upwards right now, and for the lack of a better word, Chanyeol would say that it's simply off.

Baekhyun opens his mouth to say something, the look in his eyes serious, but then he closes his mouth again and looks away, biting his lip. It's so clear that he wants to tell Chanyeol something important, something that's troubling him, but he doesn't look ready to voice his thought, and so Chanyeol doesn't push, instead saying, "I'll take you to my room, you can sleep a little there. I will change your bed sheets in the meantime, okay?"

"...Okay."

When Chanyeol sneaks one arm under Baekhyun's knees and the other one under Baekhyun's back, he doesn't expect that lifting him up would be so... easy. Baekhyun seems to weigh just a few pounds as Chanyeol carries him, and while it's obvious that the boy has gained a little of weight after Chanyeol started bringing him more food, it's still not satisfying enough. Baekhyun needs to eat more, but Chanyeol doesn't know how to get extra portion of meals without getting himself or Jongin in trouble. He needs to think of something, though.

Just like last time Chanyeol had Baekhyun in his arms, carrying him bridal style, Baekhyun buries his head in Chanyeol's neck, button nose pressed against his skin and strands of hair tingling Chanyeol as he walks. Involuntary, Chanyeol feels his face heating up not only because he is holding Baekhyun like this right now - even though it's a big part of the reason - but also because unlike last time, Chanyeol isn't wearing any clothes that would cover his upper body, and every time the boy exhales through his mouth, his warm breath ghosts over Chanyeol's bare skin, sending shivers down Chanyeol's spine. It's driving the soldier crazy, and the fact that Baekhyun isn't exactly fully dressed either with only pants and Chanyeol's jacket on is certainly not helping Chanyeol calm down.

But again, his heart isn't beating fast. It's only his head that's full of thoughts, but his heartbeat isn't rapid despite his inner excitement that comes with having Baekhyun pressed up against him. His skin tingles strangely just like last time, almost burning with satisfaction on places it makes contact with Baekhyun, but his heart? Calm. But somehow, not normal at the same time. It's beating... simply differently. Chanyeol can't describe it, but it doesn't really matter because all he needs to take from this is that when he's with Baekhyun, his heart beats in a special way for this one and only person that's breathing down his neck and making him go crazy in the process without even knowing.

"I always ruin the clothes you give me," Baekhyun mumbles when Chanyeol puts the boy on the bed, taking away his jacket that has a few crimson drops on it now and covering Baekhyun with a blanket afterwards.

"Don't worry about that," Chanyeol chuckles, tucking Baekhyun in like a mother would do for her child. "I can always wash them, it's not a big deal.. Now sleep."

"Okay," closing his eyes, Baekhyun breathes out and lets himself relax. "I've been sleeping a lot recently."

"There's nothing bad about it. Besides, you should rest a lot, it'll be good for your body," Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun lets out a humorless chuckle. Again, Chanyeol thinks that Baekhyun is going to tell him something, add a sentence to that unamused smile on his lips, but Baekhyun doesn't, staying quiet as he lets the smile fade away. Chanyeol doesn't like the silence, doesn't like the change in Baekhyun's behavior, and so he asks, "Is something wrong?" it's a question that sounds pretty stupid, considering that huge wound on Baekhyun's stomach and many more injuries all over his body, but Baekhyun surely knows what Chanyeol is asking. "Did they hurt you somewhere else too? You need to tell me if they did."

"I'm fine," is Baekhyun's simple, short answer. Very unconvincing answer.

"Then is something troubling you?"

"It's really okay."

"Baekhyun."

"I'm fine," Baekhyun repeats, and somehow, despite the still soft tone, it sounds final. The boy won't talk, that much is clear, and while Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun can be really stubborn if he wants to be, he thought that perhaps this time he could be persuasive enough to make Baekhyun speak to him. Looks like Chanyeol was mistaken, and trying to make Baekhyun talk won't work unless Baekhyun himself wants to share the burdens that are heavy on his shoulders.

However, Chanyeol knows that while Baekhyun is stubborn now, he will voice his thoughts and worries some time later, when he is ready to speak about what's troubling him. It's always like that - Baekhyun just needs time to sort out all of his thoughts before talking about them in order to avoid speaking nonsense, and Chanyeol truly admires him for such a wise approach. Unlike Baekhyun, Chanyeol is a hot-headed person that often doesn't think before doing or saying something, and that's why it's always fifty-fifty for Chanyeol when it comes to outcome of situations - either he will screw up or not, there's nothing in between.

Baekhyun is really smart, that's what Chanyeol thinks of the boy. And maybe, after this month and a half they have spent together, some of Baekhyun's wisdom is rubbing off on him, because instead of pushing the subject and screwing things up, Chanyeol calmly says, "I'm here if you need to talk, you know that. I'll listen whenever you want to tell me something." The small - this time honest and pretty - smile graces Baekhyun's lips, and Chanyeol knows that this was indeed a good decision. Happy with himself while still troubled with Baekhyun's behavior, he tells the sleepy boy, "I'll wake you up for dinner, sleep well until then."

"I will," Baekhyun whispers. "Thank you, Chanyeol... For everything."

Chanyeol wants to reply with _no, thank you_ , but in the end he decides to say, "You're welcome." Then, after taking a fresh shirt from the small wardrobe in the corner of the room, he leaves quietly, leaving the door slightly ajar instead of closing it completely - he's truly come to dislike having to close and lock the door with Baekhyun inside the room.

  
  
  
  


It's already getting dark slowly, the sun disappearing behind the horizon, and Chanyeol can't help but set his eyes on the pink clouds touched by the last of the sunrays, his gaze captured by pretty hues of purple mixing in well with the blue of the sky. A long time has passed since Chanyeol last enjoyed the sunset, let alone with his best friend keeping him company, and just now as they are leaning against the wall side by side with Jongin, Chanyeol realizes that he misses it quite a lot.

"You seem to be doing a pretty good job with Kyungsoo," Chanyeol comments while looking at the sky, admiring the colors.

He hears Jongin laugh a little before saying, "I guess?" Jongin's laugh seems to be full of happiness, just like his voice as he speaks, and Chanyeol likes the sound of it. His best friend's happiness is his happiness as well. "See, Kyungsoo looks tough and out of reach, but in reality he is really nice. We get along well."

"I would say so after seeing you two kiss," snorting, Chanyeol averts his gaze from the sky for a moment to look at Jongin. As expected, Jongin splutters, throwing Chanyeol a look. "What? It's a good thing. Or are you embarrassed?"

"No, of course not," Jongin shakes his head. "I just didn't think anyone saw us. It's surprise, not embarrassment." Chanyeol nods and turns his head away again, fingers drumming against his thigh. He's only wearing a shirt again despite the weather, not bothering with finding a new jacket for him just yet, and while Jongin has already scolded him for hazarding with his health yet again, Chanyeol finds himself enjoying how the light breeze brushes his bare arms. "Do you think we're going too fast?" Jongin asks after a few seconds of comfortable silence. "I mean, I've only known him for what - two, three weeks?"

"Do you think you're going too fast?"

"No. Not really."

"Here's your answer, then," Chanyeol says, running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes, taking in the pleasant atmosphere. These moments are what keeps Chanyeol from losing sanity in times of war, so he has to savor them as much as possible to have something to think look back at if things were to go wrong. "If you like him, and he likes you too, you aren't going too fast. It's natural to be drawn to each other, right? Or something like that."

"I was going to say that you have gotten better with words but that last line fucked it up for you," Jongin laughs, slapping Chanyeol's arm lightly. "But I suppose you're right. I mean, I like him, so I hope he likes me too. That'd be unfortunate if he didn't." Silence again, and then, "How are... you doing? With that boy, you know." Jongin's tone is careful as he asks, as if he was afraid Chanyeol will flip. "Is he alright?"

Instead of getting fired up or shy away from the question, Chanyeol calmly says as he opens his eyes, "He's hurt, weighing too little for my liking, and I feel like he won't last much longer. So yeah, I would say that it's quite bad." He hears Jongin shift beside him slightly, and he wonders if he should stop talking. In the end, however, he decides to continue, because sharing his burden with his best friend might make his heart hurt a little less. Is it selfish to make others worry just to make oneself feel better? Chanyeol hopes that Jongin doesn't think so. "Heojoon had his crazy episode today again and cut Baekhyun with a knife," he starts, nibbling on his lip as he talks. Chanyeol knows that he shouldn't have said Baekhyun's name, but... well. "The fucker had wanted to crave something about the boy being a property of North into his stomach."

"Holy shit," Jongin breathes out, and even without looking at him, he knows that Jongin's eyes have gone wide.

"Yeah. Heojoon managed to only carve property into him before Baekhyun escaped, but it's still too much. It will definitely leave a scar," Chanyeol sighs, looking for strength to continue in the colors of the sky. "He tried to escape, Jongin. He had never done that before. He is smart, he knows that it would only cause trouble and no gain, and despite that he-" taking a shaky inhale, Chanyeol finishes, "I'm afraid this was a breaking point."

For a moment, Jongin doesn't say anything, but then, "I'm really sorry." It might not change anything, Jongin's pity useless in the long run, but right now, Chanyeol feels the tiniest bit comforted. His best friend's voice is laced with sorrow, the touch that comes a second later meant to give Chanyeol the strength he desperately needs, and Chanyeol's heart might not stop hurting, but the pain is eased a little after knowing that Jongin is there for him, is willing to listen at least, if he can't help.

It's more than Chanyeol could ask for.

"I am too," Chanyeol whispers quietly, gulping down the lump in his throat and wishing away the wetness in his eyes that came out of nowhere. "He deserves better than that."

"I'm sure he does," Jongin agrees, moving closer to Chanyeol. This time, when Jongin leans against the wall, the two friends are so close their arms are touching, and Chanyeol appreciates the physical contact. Now he understands Baekhyun - it truly gives the feeling of momentary comfort, a physical reminder that someone is there beside you when you're hurting. "So... Baekhyun, huh? A nice name."

"I told him the same," Chanyeol says, memories of their first conversation flooding his mind. At that time, he didn't know that they will get so close, that he will start to... have feelings for the boy. "He replied with _as nice as any other_."

Jongin snorts, and Chanyeol does the same. "He seems to be cheeky," is Jongin's observation.

"Oh he is. Stubborn as well."

"Kyungsoo is too. Arguing with him about anything is like talking to a wall, really."

"I can relate," Chanyeol laughs. "When Baekhyun argues, he talks very quickly and his accent is stronger. I... like his accent, though."

"What about him? Do you like Baekhyun?" it's a big question, and Jongin is most likely very aware of its importance as it leaves his mouth. If it's not clear from his tone, then it's clear from the intense gaze directed at Chanyeol, Jongin's eyes practically piercing a hole through Chanyeol's skull.

"Do you think it's wrong to like him?" Chanyeol asks instead of a real reply.

Jongin gives it some thought, again going quiet for a few seconds. The silence makes Chanyeol a little nervous, but he knows better than to be impatient and hurry Jongin to answer, and so he waits as patiently as he possibly can with the small flames of anxiety coming to life inside of him with every passing second. It's truly horrible, waiting for an opinion on something important, and Chanyeol has never been one to bask in the feeling of suspense, which is why he is quite happy when it takes only a little for Jongin to start, "You know, of course it's wrong to like him. He is a prisoner of a country you're fighting for, so it's kind of obvious that having feelings for him is a forbidden territory. You are not stupid, you know that already." Chanyeol's heart sinks. "However, I think you didn't ask me so I can tell you the obvious, so..."

"So?"

"So, I'll just tell you that it doesn't matter how wrong it is, because you can't control your emotions anyway. If you could, you wouldn't have feelings for him, am I right?" Jongin questions without really needing an answer from Chanyeol. "That's why, you should stop worrying about wrong or right and just act upon what your heart is telling you. Your heart is the one that will decide for you in the end, not your brain... _Or something like that_."

They both chuckle, Chanyeol kicking Jongin's shin for mimicking his poor speaking skills. "Okay, that sounded reasonable," the taller of the two nods. "Then... I do. I do like him."

It's strange, how Chanyeol feels so at ease after saying out loud something so dangerous, something completely forbidden. If someone was listening to them, they would be done for by now, and yet, Chanyeol feels calm. When he looks to the side, he sees Jongin smiling slightly in content while looking into the distance, eyes shining brightly, and guesses that he's not the only one that's totally unbothered, savoring the moment without any worries.

Mirroring Jongin's smile, Chanyeol looks back to the sky, noticing how it has it darkened in the meantime. There are no starts to be seen yet, but there are also no hues of pink and purple, only dark, endless blue. The sun has set, and it's time for dinner now.

"It was nice," Jongin whispers. "A moment of honesty and stuff."

Snorting, Chanyeol agrees. "Nice indeed."

There might not be too much time to talk freely, but Chanyeol has thoroughly enjoyed these few minutes during which he could have been completely honest. Truthfully, after spending time with Jongin, he really feels better, as if receiving a dose of energy that he needed to keep going. The conversation has helped him get his emotions together, and now he suddenly isn't all that afraid to feel and express, Jongin's words encouraging him.

Maybe Jongin is a bad influence, the man telling Chanyeol to go with his heart when he should definitely go with his brain instead in such situation but... Chanyeol wouldn't have it any other way. In this cruel world, it's good to have a person to lean on to, after all.

  
  
  
  


"Time to wake up," Chanyeol whispers, shaking with Baekhyun slightly. The boy's eyes flutter open only a few seconds later, lips forming a small pout, and Chanyeol's heart skips a beat at how adorable it is. "Good evening, angel. How do you feel?"

"...Fine," is what Baekhyun says, and Chanyeol sighs after getting the same short answer again, but lets it go. Patience is the key, especially when it comes to Baekhyun.

"I've brought dinner. Let's eat," changing the topic, Chanyeol pulls closer the bedside table on top of which is laid the tray with food and a huge glass with water - because Baekhyun drinks a lot, and after taking a notice of it, the soldier has decided to switch the small cup for this monster glass. "Come, I'll help you sit up," Chanyeol offers with a gentle smile, hooking a hand under Baekhyun's upper back and wondering if it's his own palm that's burning or if it's Baekhyun's body that's too cold - taking into consideration the familiar tingling though, Chanyeol would say that the first option is more probable.

After Baekhyun wraps an arm around Chanyeol's shoulders for support, the soldier starts pulling him up carefully. It goes well in the beginning, heaving Baekhyun from the bed proving to be easy, but it's halfway through that the boy exhales shakily and makes a choked, pained sound, his fist clenching in Chanyeol's shirt. Immediately, Chanyeol stops and looks at Baekhyun in alarm, but the boy only urges him to continue, shaking Chanyeol's worries away. "I'm okay," Baekhyun says, but despite his brave words, his voice is shaking a bit too much, and the way his eyes are tightly shut is telling Chanyeol more than enough about the real truth.

"You're not, and it's fine. It's to be expected," Chanyeol tells Baekhyun, and when he sees how the boy opens his mouth to certainly say something foolishly brave again, Chanyeol quickly adds. "There's nothing wrong with admitting you're hurting." It makes Baekhyun pause, and as Chanyeol stares at the boy, he realizes that maybe what he has said had much more meaning to Baekhyun than it had to Chanyeol when he said it a second ago, given that Baekhyun opens his eyes and glances at Chanyeol, the look in those pretty blue eyes holding so many emotions that Chanyeol is suddenly overwhelmed.

Maybe if Chanyeol tried, he would be able to decipher the feelings flashing through the pretty, blue orbs, but it's quite impossible to use his brain when Baekhyun is so close to him, face just a few inches away from Chanyeol's. It's like the soldier's mind went blank, and the only thing Chanyeol can do is simply... stare at Baekhyun, unable to tear his gaze away. Baekhyun is mesmerizing, is what comes to Chanyeol's mind, and despite this definitely not being the first time this thought appears in his head, it's as intense as it was the first time, Baekhyun's beauty truly giving Chanyeol a hard time.

However, it's different admiring Baekhyun's angelic face from afar and being so damn close to it, and maybe that's the reason why Chanyeol's heart skips a beat and his mouth goes dry right away. Despite the bruises and cuts, despite the dark circles and tired, red eyes full of pain, Baekhyun is still the most beautiful person Chanyeol has ever had a chance of seeing.

It's truly like seeing an angel in its human form.

"I'm fine now," Baekhyun whispers, aware of the close proximity and lowering his voice appropriately so he won't be too loud. When Chanyeol gives him a look, the boy lets out a short laugh and says, "I mean it, for real. And I'm also hungry so we should hurry this up."

"I get that food is nice but your health is more important," Chanyeol reminds him, but listens to Baekhyun and slowly continues in pulling him into sitting position. "You yourself need to be considerate enough to your body. You are a medic, you should know that."

"You are becoming a medic as well after taking care of me so much," Baekhyun casually says, his tone light and maybe even slightly amused.

However, Chanyeol is anything but amused. "I would be happier if I didn't have to do that," the soldier mumbles, sighing deeply and letting go of Baekhyun when the boy is finally sitting up. There is another pained sound leaving Baekhyun's mouth, and it's at times like this, when he has to hear Baekhyun's whimpers of pain, that Chanyeol thinks he would be better off deaf. "Here. Eat well," Chanyeol says after putting a new, thicker sweater he found in the storage room on Baekhyun, giving the boy the chopsticks and glancing down at Baekhyun's stomach when he sees the boy touching it carefully with his other hand through the clothing. It hurts to see Baekhyun like this, and it's frustrating that he can do nothing more than patch his wounds up and apply stupid ointment on it.

"Thank you."

They enjoy the dinner mostly in silence, the quietness in the room interrupted only when Chanyeol asks Baekhyun if his wound hurts too much when he sees Baekhyun crunching his face or touching his stomach. Baekhyun, deciding to be honest just as Chanyeol told him to be, always tells Chanyeol that it hurts, but that the food is making it all better, just like Chanyeol's company. The boy always adds a pretty smile to his words which positively makes Chanyeol a little red in color, but that's it for their conversation. Chanyeol would ask Baekhyun if there's something up with him, but now he knows for sure that something's happening, and he decides not to mention yet, seeing the concentrated expression on the boy's face - Baekhyun is thinking about what he'll say to Chanyeol later, and Chanyeol lets him think in silence, only keeping Baekhyun company during dinner without interrupting the boy's train of thoughts.

 _Wait patiently_ , Chanyeol repeats in his mind, fighting with himself so he won't glance at Baekhyun questioningly again, for the fourth time in maybe one minute. He wants to let Baekhyun eat the dinner in peace, he truly wants to, but on the other hand, how can he not be concerned, when there's this miserable expression on Baekhyun's face? He's not only curious about what's bothering Baekhyun; it's more like he's extremely worried, because just like himself, Baekhyun can have millions and millions of bad thoughts that might be eating him from inside just this very moment, and all Chanyeol can do is stare at the boy while keeping his distance. He's not saying that if he knew about Baekhyun's problem he could help, but he would at least try somehow, do something-

"You're going to bore a hole into your plate if you keep this on," Baekhyun's voice interrupts his furious thinking, and Chanyeol blinks himself back to reality, realizing that he got too immersed in his thoughts after he sees that Baekhyun is already done eating, and it's himself who has a plate still half-full of food that's getting colder every second.

"Yeah, uh... I'm not really all that hungry, so," Chanyeol says lamely, as if his stomach didn't make a loud call for food just a few minutes ago.

Seeing right through Chanyeol's lie, Baekhyun snorts, but doesn't call Chanyeol out on it. Instead, he asks, "Did you get in trouble?" Confused, Chanyeol furrows his brows a little, wondering what's Baekhyun talking about. It comes to him almost right away, but before he can answer, Baekhyun continues with a nervous voice, averting his eyes from Chanyeol's as he says, "You were gone for quite some time. I woke up when it was getting dark, but you still weren't there, and I thought that maybe you got in trouble because of the stunt I pulled." Gulping, Baekhyun looks down at his hands, clearly guilty. "I'm really sorry for that, by the way. It was really stupid."

"I didn't get in trouble," Chanyeol shakes his head, tone serious so Baekhyun will know that he's not lying. "I mean, maybe I will, but I haven't yet - I just spent some time with my friend, Jongin, that's why I wasn't there. Besides, you shouldn't worry about me getting in trouble, and you shouldn't apologize either, okay?"

"But I-"

"If I can't blame myself for what happened to you, you can't blame yourself if I get in trouble."

"It's different, since-"

"No, it's not," the soldier insists, putting his plate on the tray that's lying on the floor a meter away from their feet. Then, when his hands are empty, he turns to face Baekhyun with his whole body, forgetting all about personal space and other useless things as he leans in, getting into Baekhyun's face and hoping that the close proximity will make Baekhyun look up from the floor. Unfortunately, it doesn't work, and Chanyeol sighs, telling himself that desperate times call for desperate measures before deciding to be daring enough to reach out for Baekhyun's face and turn it to him personally, his index and middle finger on Baekhyun's chin doing the job. Baekhyun seems to be surprised by Chanyeol's actions - if his wide eyes are anything to go by - and while Chanyeol would find it adorable in most situations, now he is more focused on Baekhyun's mental state than on his face, no matter how pretty it is. "Don't apologize for what happened today. I don't wanna hear it, because there's nothing you should be sorry about, okay?"

It happens quickly; Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol for about three seconds before his lower lip starts to quiver, blue eyes becoming glassy in less than a second. Soon, there is also a tear wetting Baekhyun's cheek, making its way down the smooth, bruised skin. Chanyeol moves his hand to cup Baekhyun's cheek, fingers letting go of Baekhyun's chin in order to wipe the stray drop of salty liquid away, and it's probably this sweet gesture that makes Baekhyun abandon everything that was holding him back, the boy letting out a quiet sob before shutting his eyes tightly and resting his forehead against Chanyeol's, noses bumping in the process. Baekhyun's hand is a little cold, Chanyeol finds out when the younger male places it on top of his own, larger one as the tears continue to fall, but it's not like Chanyeol minds - and if he does, he minds only because he is afraid that Baekhyun still isn't warm enough, despite the thick sweater Chanyeol has brought him.

"Cry all you want, angel," Chanyeol encourages, closing his eyes and caressing Baekhyun's cheek with his thumb. "Let it all out, freely. You don't have to hold back when you're with me."

And Baekhyun does exactly that, listening to Chanyeol and crying to his heart's satisfaction, letting the tears fall freely until there are none left. He cries silently, his whole body trembling and lips letting out the quietest of sobs, and Chanyeol holds him through it all, one hand on Baekhyun's back and the other one still plastered to his cheek. To be honest, the longer Baekhyun cries, the bigger is the urge to cry with him, and although Chanyeol feels his eyes stinging after the very first minutes, he refuses to let even one tear slip through his close eyelids - right now, he needs to be strong for Baekhyun, just like Baekhyun was strong for him in the very beginning, pretending not to be sad and scared so Chanyeol wouldn't feel bad.

"I really don't know what I thought when I tried to run away," Baekhyun whispers. "I just- I-"

"It's fine, you don't have to give me any explanations. It's fine," Chanyeol says when Baekhyun's voice breaks, assuring the boy one more time that everything's alright.

"No, you deserve to know. You should know," insisting, Baekhyun gulps and exhales shakily, his warm breath caressing Chanyeol's lips, reminding the older of how close they actually are. _Close enough to kiss, if I just leaned in a little_ , Chanyeol can't help but think, but before he can give in to his urges, he bites his lip instead. Hard. Now's not the time for this. "I- It's- It's gonna be there forever, Chanyeol. I had realized that, and I panicked and ran away because beating I can take, the bruises will all fade but t-this...? It's disgusting, and I won't ever be able to get rid of it." Leaning into Chanyeol's hand and searching for strength in the warmness of the soldier's palm, Baekhyun continues, "I really didn't want to cause trouble, I just didn't know w-what to do, and I really, really didn't want this. S-So I kicked him and ran, not even knowing where I'm going, I just knew I had to get out. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"You did the right thing, angel. There's nothing wrong it, I'm not angry at all."

Chanyeol promised himself not to cry, but the things Baekhyun says hit him too hard. And so, when Baekhyun brokenly apologizes again, Chanyeol's cheeks become wet as well, his fist clenched in Baekhyun's sweater and the lump in his throat making it impossible for him to repeat once more that there is nothing to be sorry about to begin with.

  


It's a few minutes later that they both calm down, and when they lie down on the bed together, there's almost no space between them as they face each other, holding gazes as if their lives depended on it. "Tell me about your friend. Jongin," Baekhyun requests, and despite the sentence obviously ending with a period and not a question mark, it's clear that Baekhyun is giving Chanyeol the choice of not going along with it if he doesn't want to.

However, Chanyeol truly doesn't mind, and so he asks, "What do you wanna know?" The thing is, Chanyeol doesn't have problem with talking to Baekhyun about things - that's completely alright with him - it's just that... Baekhyun is too beautiful, and as Chanyeol stares into those pretty blue eyes, the oceans and seas and cloudless skies sucking him in, he doesn't think he'll be able to talk in coherent sentences, given that the boy that's lying a few inches away from him is positively taking his breath away.

"Whatever you decide to tell me," is Baekhyun's answer, and Chanyeol feels as if he was struck by electricity when Baekhyun suddenly takes a hold of his hand which is resting on the pillow between their heads, the boy intertwining their fingers slowly, uncertainly. Chanyeol sees the hesitation, sees the doubt, and without having to think twice about it, he responds to Baekhyun's silent question with clasping their hands together and giving Baekhyun a small, reassuring smile that Baekhyun returns right away. Holding hands with Baekhyun should feel bad because this shouldn't even be happening, but still, Chanyeol can't bring himself to think about their intertwined fingers and unbreakable eye-contact as anything else than simply _right._

"Okay," Chanyeol says. "I can tell you everything." Which is exactly what Chanyeol does, talking in length about Kim Jongin and how the two of them befriended each other.

While telling Baekhyun about his best - and also only - friend, the boy listens attentively to Chanyeol, pretty fingers dancing on top of Chanyeol's palm and drawing patterns into it. It feels nice; talking without having to worry about anything for a moment and being able to simply enjoy each other's company as they lie on the bed in close proximity, exchanging lovely smiles and breathing in the air that's filled with endless care and affection.

At one point, though, it gets harder to continue speaking about Jongin, the reason for this being that Baekhyun shifts closer to him after some time, making Chanyeol's breath hitch as a result. The boy's face is suddenly way too close, and Chanyeol finds himself not being able to deal with that, his mind going blank and heart jumping in his chest upon feeling Baekhyun's breath not only on his hand now, but also on his lips. It's exactly then that Chanyeol abruptly stops, going silent while trying to collect himself, which is quite hard given that Baekhyun is so close with seemingly no intention of moving away.

It looks like the young male is clueless of what he's doing to Chanyeol, eyes full of innocence and anticipation as he gazes into Chanyeol's brown orbs, a small smile playing on his bow-shaped lips. There is not a single sign of mischief in his expression, just honest interest, and it's actually quite funny; how Baekhyun could be the death of Chanyeol and still be completely unaware of it.

"Go on," Baekhyun urges with that soft voice of his when Chanyeol kind of forgets he was talking about something in the first place, being silent for way too long without even realizing. But really, can anyone blame him? Chanyeol bets that whoever would be in his situation would lose track of time if a person as beautiful as Baekhyun was lying in front of them, all mesmerizing and innocent, blue, droopy eyes so attentive and full of affection. It's like a dream come true, and Chanyeol momentarily doubts that this is the reality and not just his imagination.

"You're very impatient," Chanyeol says after finally retrieving his voice.

Baekhyun chuckles. "As if you didn't know that."

"That's true," Chanyeol laughs a little, and Baekhyun laughs with him. _You're so beautiful when you laugh_ , Chanyeol thinks, not able to take his eyes off Baekhyun. _Ethereal_ , is another word that comes to his mind, and Chanyeol has a strong urge to reach out and touch Baekhyun's face, wanting to taste the perfection with his fingertips, but in the end he decides against it, instead continuing in his story.

It's true that Chanyeol touched Baekhyun plenty of times by now, even the boy's naked body at one point, feeling up the curve of Baekhyun's bottom by accident when the boy fell on Chanyeol in all his bare glory. At that time, Baekhyun didn't seem to mind that much, but now the situation is entirely different, and much more personal despite the boy being fully dressed and even covered by blanket. The two of them lying on the bed, hands clasped together again because Baekhyun got tired of tracing Chanyeol's palm a few seconds ago, and faces close enough to feel the other's breath; it's too intimate as it is now, and god knows what could this single touch lead to at this very moment and in this exact setting.

Honestly, one part of Chanyeol wouldn't be too much against finding out.

  
  


It's around the time Chanyeol is done with the last story of the evening that Baekhyun yawns, opening his mouth wide in the process and hiding his face into the pillows afterwards when he realizes that he is basically yawning into Chanyeol's face. "Sorry," he mumbles and gifts Chanyeol with an apologetic smile, sleepy eyes returning to gaze into the soldier's.

"Do you want to go to sleep?" Chanyeol asks despite the answer being pretty much clear from the way Baekhyun seems to be having a hard time keeping his eyelids from closing.

"Isn't it weird?" Baekhyun throws his own question at Chanyeol, his eyebrows furrowing and lips turning into a pout. _Fucking hell_ , screams the voice in Chanyeol's head at the sight. _Too cute._ "I'm still tired after sleeping for hours today."

"It isn't weird, we've already talked about this - it's normal," shaking his head, Chanyeol lets out a long sigh. Baekhyun is smart when it comes to many things, but he tends to be slightly less intelligent when it comes to taking care of himself. "You should have told me if you wanted to sleep, I wouldn't have-"

"I liked listening to you. I liked the stories," Baekhyun doesn't even let him finish, interrupting to let Chanyeol know that he truly wanted to listen - if he had wanted to sleep instead, he would have said so, being aware that Chanyeol wouldn't take it personally at all and would understand it.

Upon hearing the words, Chanyeol's serious gaze softens, and his lips curve into a smile. "I'm glad you did," he says, squeezing Baekhyun's small hand. "But now you should go to sleep, okay?"

"Should I really? The more I sleep, the more tired I seem to be."

"Baekhyun.."

"Okay, okay, I'm going," Baekhyun says in defeat, the pout still present, and while Chanyeol doesn't want to be creepy and stare at Baekhyun's lips more than it's considered acceptable, he can't help himself; it's as if his eyes were drawn to them, and as he stares rudely despite knowing he should avert his gaze, he thinks that Baekhyun's lips were really made for pouting, the way the boy's lower lip is jutted out being too adorable to handle.

However, when Baekhyun makes an attempt to move a second later, wanting to find a more comfortable sleeping position, those pretty pouty lips turn into a thin line that holds back a yelp of pain, and suddenly it's not such a nice sight. "Are you alright? Does it hurt?" immediately, Chanyeol starts asking, alarm clear in his voice as he springs himself to a sitting position, glancing between Baekhyun's stomach and Baekhyun's face which is scrunched up in an ugly grimace.

"It does a little, but it's fine. I just-" Baekhyun stops, chuckling and letting go of Chanyeol's hand in order to place his palm against his hurting stomach, trying to soothe the pain somehow. "-I forgot about having it there, I guess, and moved too quickly."

"Please, be more careful," _it hurts me when I see you hurting_ is left unsaid, but from the look Chanyeol is giving Baekhyun at this moment, Baekhyun surely hears the silent words.

"You worry too much," is what Baekhyun responds with. "You shouldn't-"

"I shouldn't have let this happen," Chanyeol cuts the boy off, spiraling into the pit of guilt once again upon having to look at Baekhyun's pained expression. "If I was here just a little sooner, this wouldn't have happened. I was so stupid; I knew they were coming and I had still left- what was that?" the soldier stops himself to ask after feeling Baekhyun's fist grazing over his arm fleetingly.

"I wanted to hit you but you were further than I expected," Baekhyun grumbles, and since he didn't reach Chanyeol's arm, he decides to punch Chanyeol's thigh instead. The hit is strong, more than Chanyeol would expect from a person who is supposed to be tired and in pain, and he finds himself rubbing his thigh afterwards. "You deserve it, don't you dare look at me like that," Baekhyun tells him, no sign of apology in his voice. The boy even frowns at him as he says, "You're talking nonsense again."

"I'm not. I'm stating the facts-"

"No, you are not," Baekhyun cuts him off again, ready to hit Chanyeol's thigh again. However, the soldier is quick enough to catch the flying fist this time, stopping it before it can hurt him again. "You are guilt-tripping yourself again. Stop that."

"How can I not, though? It's terrible to see you hurt while knowing I could have prevented it," Chanyeol looks down at Baekhyun's hand that is now imprisoned in his own. There, he sees the almost-healed scratches on Baekhyun's thin wrist, and he caresses the sensitive skin gently with his thumb, thinking of how such a fragile body shouldn't have been harmed or treated so badly.

"I've told you so many times not to think like that. You're just hurting yourself with that approach. Besides, you promised me not to be like this," seeing that Chanyeol is opening his mouth to protest, Baekhyun quickly asks, "should I say that I forgive you, even though nothing is your fault? Would that help you, if nothing else?"

"Baekhyun.."

"No, don't _Baekhyun_ me. It's me who should _Chanyeol _you, because despite me begging you to stop being like this, you keep blaming yourself. Should I cry again to make you realize how much I hate it?"__

"Please don't cry," Chanyeol shakes his head. He doesn't want the boy to cry again, let alone because of him. He just wants Baekhyun to be happy, to smile with that beautiful smile of his - it suits him more than tears that so often wet his cheeks.

"Then don't be like that, just- don't," Baekhyun sighs, frustrated from being unable to make Chanyeol understand, but not knowing what else to say to change the soldier's approach. "I forgive you, okay? There's nothing I should be forgiving you for, but if that's what you need to hear, then I forgive you."

"Calm down," seeing that Baekhyun is getting too fired up, Chanyeol puts a stop to it, flopping down back on the bed beside Baekhyun, not letting go of the boy's hand.

"I am calm. It's just you being stupid again," Baekhyun mumbles, turning his head to the older male. "You don't want me to blame myself for your possible trouble, then don't blame yourself for me being hurt. This- This can't be avoided," pointing to his stomach, Baekhyun unclenches his fist but doesn't attempt to pull away. "Maybe even more horrible things will happen, maybe they will kill me next time-"

"Please don't say that," Chanyeol bites the insides of his cheeks. _I don't think I'd get used to you not being here anymore._

"-the point is; you can't protect me. It isn't in your power, and things like this will keep on happening, so..." Baekhyun trails off, and Chanyeol's breath is knocked out of him when Baekhyun suddenly turns to him and cups his cheek with his other hand - he does something Chanyeol wasn't brave enough to do yet again. "I want you to promise me not to get involved anymore."

"W-What are you saying?" Chanyeol stutters out.

"Exactly what I said. If you promise me this, it means you can't interfere at all, or you'll be breaking the promise, and thus you can't blame yourself for me getting hurt, right? Besides, this way you won't get in trouble either, so-"

"No, absolutely not," frowning, Chanyeol rejects the idea completely. "I'm not doing this."

"I'm not giving you a choice right now," Baekhyun says, and truly, it's the first time Chanyeol hears Baekhyun sounding so fierce and unbending in his demand. "You have to give me that promise. I won't take no for an answer."

"I can't, Baekhyun. I really can't," Chanyeol whispers while staring into Baekhyun's blue eyes, wanting the boy to see how unable to go along with this Chanyeol is. "It's- this is something you can't ask of me. It means I would just stand there, no matter what they do to you, and I'd have no power to stop it."

"You don't have the power to do anything now either," Baekhyun points out.

"It's different. Now I can step in if I see they are going way past the line, but after this promise, I wouldn't be able to do even that much. And I'm not letting you die in their hands," saying that, the image of Baekhyun's lifeless body flashes through his mind, and Chanyeol feels a painful pang in his chest.

"Chanyeol," the way Baekhyun says his name makes him all tingly on the inside. "Chanyeol," the boy repeats, and yet again, the soldier's breath is taken away when Baekhyun shifts closer to him, leaning his forehead against Chanyeol's, noses bumping. "I know you want to protect me, but the same goes for me - I want to protect you as well, and making sure you won't get in trouble because of stepping in-between me and them is important for me. I know you'll have a hard time, but believe me when I say that seeing you blaming yourself all the time is giving _me_ a hard time."

"If I gave you such a promise, I would break it eventually. You know I would."

"Well, I'm kinda hoping you wouldn't," Baekhyun chuckles, caressing Chanyeol's cheek with those slender, soft fingers. "You've protected me enough, don't you think? It's my turn now."

Baekhyun is only nineteen years old, but he's already quite matured in Chanyeol's opinion, which sends the theory of with _age comes wisdom_ to hell and back. The fact that the boy is also good with words is another thing, and all Baekhyun has to do to get a perfect persuading technique as a final effect is to add the facial expressions and actions into the mix. All this together is a killer, and maybe that's why Chanyeol finds himself losing the will to fight back. "This is not a good idea," still, he tries to make Baekhyun think of it better, despite seeing that the boy is not likely to back down.

"Don't insult my idea, just promise me," Baekhyun closes his eyes and squeezes Chanyeol's hand in his while the fingertips of his other hand are still dancing on top of Chanyeol's cheek. "Promise me you won't interfere, no matter what."

"You're asking for too much."

"I care about you, Chanyeol, and I want to keep you out of pointless trouble. So just do it," when Baekhyun says that, it sounds bittersweet - for one, hearing the boy say that he cares about Chanyeol is making Chanyeol's heart skip a beat, but on the other hand, Baekhyun is still asking for something that Chanyeol can't simply agree to just like that.

"I care about you too," Chanyeol finally tells Baekhyun, finding the courage. "That's why I can't do it."

"No, that's why you have to do it," Baekhyun corrects him. "Can't you see? That them beating me doesn't hurt me as much as seeing you like this."

In many other situations Chanyeol would cringe at the cheesiness of the words, but right now, with Baekhyun saying such sentence in a whisper against his lips, one hand on his cheek and one hand holding his, foreheads resting against one another's and bodies close, Chanyeol thinks of it more as beautifully heart-wrecking than cringeworthy. Or maybe, it's simply because it's Baekhyun saying them.

"I hate breaking my promises, but I don't think I can keep this one," Chanyeol admits, closing his eyes as he thinks about it, wanting to be honest..

"Then try your best to keep it, okay? Try for me."

"...Alright."

"Alright.. what?" Baekhyun pushes.

"I promise," Chanyeol says, immediately knowing that this will only bring trouble. Such promise can't bring anything good, after all.

"Be specific," Baekhyun demands, pinching Chanyeol's cheeks and letting out a laugh when Chanyeol jerks slightly. "You have to say it yourself."

"I swear I won't interfere no matter what," now it is real, no going back after saying it out loud, and Chanyeol hates it. He closes his eyes .

However, Baekhyun doesn't seem to share his emotions, because he smiles as soon as the promise leaves the soldier's mouth reluctantly, and Chanyeol doesn't have to have his eyes open to know that. "Thank you," he caresses the place he pinched a second ago, soothing the pain on Chanyeol's cheek. "It means a lot to me."

"Yeah, just- go to sleep, Baekhyun. It's late," Chanyeol whispers for the lack of better things to say. The promise he was pushed to give has not only mentally, but also physically drained Chanyeol, and now the soldier desperately needs either to drink some water or go out and breathe in some fresh air, which is why he slowly starts to untangle himself from Baekhyun's hold despite immediately feeling way too cold the further away he gets. "I'll sleep in your room today because I don't wanna move you around, so-"

"Stay here..?"

"You know I always stay until you fall asleep."

"No, I mean... stay here... The whole night. Please," is added at the end, and Chanyeol doesn't know if he's getting tired of his breath being taken away so often, or if he's actually enjoying it.

"The bed is too small," Chanyeol tries to argue, not knowing how can he possibly live through this night if he were to share the bed with the very person that has taken not only his breath away, but also his heart.

"I'll move."

"You need space, and besides, you're hurt - what if I-"

"Please," Baekhyun repeats pleadingly, more urgently than before, and Chanyeol inhales shakily. Again, one would think that the boy is doing this on purpose for whatever reason, but one look into Baekhyun's innocent eyes is enough to make him realize that Baekhyun isn't playing around - he's being completely honest, just wanting Chanyeol to stay with him. Nothing more, nothing less.

"I-" _this isn't a good idea, Chanyeol. Don't do this. This is too much of a big step forward, you shouldn't-_ "Okay. I guess it can't hurt.. Uh, I'll just turn off the lights." Baekhyun gifts him with a bright smile, and all the negative voices in Chanyeol's head shut up all at once, probably too in awe upon such a beautiful sight.

Before turning on the lights though, Chanyeol walks over to his wardrobe and pulls out sweatpants, putting them on instead of the combat pants he has on right now. He usually sleeps only in his underwear, but such option isn't on the table tonight, so sweatpants it is.

Until now, his heart has always been pretty much calm, but at this very moment it's beating rapidly inside of Chanyeol's ribcage. Chanyeol tries to ignore it, tries to calm it even - however, nothing works. It only seems to get worse when Chanyeol finally turns off the lights, going back to the bed with only the moonlight showing him the way. Baekhyun, as promised, has already moved to the side, closer to the wall, and Chanyeol wants to ask him if the movement didn't hurt, but decides against it when he sees a smile playing on Baekhyun's lips as the boy watches him with joyful sparks in his blue eyes.

Slipping into the bed and under the covers wordlessly, Chanyeol's heart feels like it's going to fight its way out through Chanyeol's chest, and the soldier doesn't know what to do about it - all he can do is pray that Baekhyun won't hear the rapid heartbeat, it seems.

Chanyeol stays close to the edge of the bed, afraid to move closer to Baekhyun despite them having practically to no space between them a few seconds ago, and it's only when Baekhyun points out, "You're gonna fall any second," that Chanyeol reluctantly shifts to the center of the mattress. As soon as he does so, Baekhyun shifts closer too, letting out a quiet sigh of pain in the process and searching for Chanyeol's hand blindly, intertwining their fingers under the covers again afterwards.

One would expect Chanyeol heart to truly jump out of his chest right now, but strangely enough, it does the exact opposite - it calms down completely.

"Goodnight," Baekhyun whispers, closing his eyes, face relaxing. He must be really tired already, Chanyeol thinks. "And thank you."

"Goodnight," Chanyeol echoes, still being in shock at how one single touch of Baekhyun's hand has cured his heart.

Baekhyun falls asleep rather quickly then, mouth falling open and hair messily getting into his face. As seconds pass, Chanyeol starts to get very sleepy too, but he urges his eyes to stay open just for a little longer, simply because this might be the first but also last time he will sleep in the same bed as Baekhyun - Chanyeol has to enjoy it before drifting off. And besides, why fall asleep, when Baekhyun's face that is lightened up dimly by the moonlight is much more prettier than any dream could ever be?

When he finally dozes off minutes later, it's the calmest sleep Chanyeol has had in months, maybe even years, and he wishes for nothing more than to fall asleep like this for every night to come.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Chanyeol regrets giving Baekhyun the promise. He regrets it incredibly much, because if he didn't agree to this a week ago, now he could be already putting a stop to it all instead of having to watch the horrible scene playing out in front of him.

For millions of times in just a few hours, Chanyeol wanted to break the damn promise and step in, send Heojoon to hell and save Baekhyun from this suffering, but every time he took a step forward or even as much as opened his mouth, Baekhyun somehow felt what was Chanyeol about to do, and before the soldier could actually interfere, Baekhyun shot him a look that clearly says _don't._ Chanyeol wanted to ignore it so badly, telling himself that breaking a promise isn't that much of a big deal if he can help Baekhyun, but in the end he always stepped back and closed his mouth, because he realized that maybe for him it is not such a big deal, but for Baekhyun it might be. After all, if the boy doesn't have enough energy to get up from the floor but still manages to warn Chanyeol with his gaze, the promise must be important to him.

And so, Chanyeol just helplessly stands by the wall, averting his eyes from Baekhyun and looking down at his shoes instead, not able to keep watching how the boy gets hit again, and again, and again. However, the whole thing is just the tiniest bit more bearable when his gaze is glued to the floor, because while he can't see Baekhyun getting hurt, he can still hear it all; the way the whip swishes through the air before it meets the bare skin of Baekhyun's back, the pained yelp that escapes Baekhyun's lips at the contact, and the horrible sound of Heojoon's snigger that follows. Chanyeol can hear everything, and it's killing him.

When Woohyun said that the next time they come it'll be much worse, Chanyeol imagined all kinds of things, every single one of them making his heart hurt inside of his ribcage, but it's different to think of possibilities and then actually see them playing out right in front of his eyes. Chanyeol tried to prepare himself, tried to prepare Baekhyun as well, but in the end it has all proved to be good for nothing, because no matter the effort, nothing can prepare a person for this, just like nothing can ease the pain that comes with seeing the very person you swore to protect getting hurt while you can't do anything but stand by and watch.

Baekhyun said that a beating he can take, but the letters craved into his stomach has hurt him deeply not because it physically hurt, but because he knew that they will stay there forever, marking his body for eternity. It was clear from that that Baekhyun hates scars, hates anything that would stay on his body to remind him of the ugly times in his life, and Chanyeol, for Baekhyun's sake, prayed for nothing more than for Heojoon and Woohyun not to hurt the boy in a way that would leave a scar. But, just like so many times before, Chanyeol's prayers had not been heard, and Chanyeol knew that the very second he saw Heojoon appearing on the doorstep with a devilish smirk and whip in his hand, Woohyun by his side looking as bored as usual.

It started off with insults and continued with fists that collided with Baekhyun's face without mercy, followed by kicks to various parts of Baekhyun's body. The whip that Heojoon had thrown on Baekhyun's bed was forgotten for a while, not needed for the first hours of interrogation, and Chanyeol thought that maybe, just maybe, it won't be used today at all. However, his hope was all gone when Woohyun suddenly spoke about having errands to run around the time it was getting dark, because the moment Woohyun left the building, Heojoon took the whip in his hand and told Baekhyun to undress.

It was then that Chanyeol wanted to step in for the first time for real, and it was also the first time Baekhyun shot him that disapproving look. As if to stop Chanyeol from breaking the promise, Baekhyun obliged the order despite clearly being in immense pain, taking off his sweater and letting it fall on the ground. "How obedient," Heojoon commented, coming up to Baekhyun and patting his cheek before forcing the boy up and making him kneel against the wall.

The first time that Baekhyun was hit with the whip, he screamed because of the pain and almost fell to the floor, the sound of his scream echoing in the room, bouncing off the walls until it hit Chanyeol's ears. It wasn't long before another yell followed, and then another, and another, until Baekhyun started sobbing violently and didn't have the power to hold himself up, falling on the floor and curling to himself as tears fell down his cheeks. "This is what you get for being stubborn," Heojoon whispered to Baekhyun with a snort, letting the whip graze over the new wounds on the boy's back before hitting him again just a second later, saying, "If you've got something to say, this is the right time to say it." Baekhyun stayed silent though, which resulted in him being hit again after he was forced to get up, his whole body trembling and hurting as he kneeled there, forehead resting against the wall.

By now, after countless hits, there is blood all over Baekhyun's back, the wounds ugly and big, and Chanyeol can't bear to look at the boy's suffering anymore. It's too much for him, especially since Baekhyun has sunk to the floor again, lying flat on his stomach, already so hurt that he doesn't have enough energy to get up anymore, only lying there on the cold floor and crying quietly, his throat too tired to let him scream. However, even the almost inaudible sobs are piercing Chanyeol’s heart like arrows, making the soldier bleed on the inside while Baekhyun bleeds on the outside.

"You're kinda quiet today, Park," Heojoon points out after a while, coming up to Chanyeol and leaving Baekhyun be for a moment. "No arguing today?"

"No," Chanyeol grits out, not even looking at Heojoon, not wanting to see the disgusting face of his fellow soldier.

"It's boring without your objections, though. The brat's no fun. He is just crying and then crying again," letting out a sigh, Heojoon leans against the wall next to Chanyeol, close enough to touch Chanyeol's shoulder, and immediately, the younger soldier moves away, the single second of physical contact with Heojoon making him want to puke. Heojoon obviously notices how Chanyeol puts space between them, and he snorts before calmly saying, "You know, there's been a talk around the camp." Although Chanyeol doesn't ask about it, Heojoon continues, "About there being a traitor among us. A dirty traitor that works with South."

That catches Chanyeol's attention. "What?" he asks, but still doesn't look Heojoon's way, his eyes glued to the poor body lying on the dirty ground.

"Yeah, it's certain there is an intruder, and everyone is looking for that person. So far, no luck, though," Heojoon shrugs. "But I think I know who it might be."

"Who?"

"Let's save the talk for later and have some fun now, what do you say?" saying that, Heojoon straightens up and comes to stand in front of Chanyeol, blocking the younger's vision. Chanyeol looks at him with a confused frown and opens his mouth to ask what is all this about, but Heojoon is faster, holding the whip out for Chanyeol to take and telling him, "Your turn."

It sinks in quickly. "The fuck?"

"Don't be rude to your elders, Park. It's very impolite," Heojoon reprimands him, the annoying smirk present on his lips as he steps closer to Chanyeol, urging him to take the whip. "C'mon, you can't just stand there."

"I'm not doing this. You must have gone really crazy if you think I would do it," Chanyeol shakes his head, his frown turning from confused to angry. Heojoon is really testing him, and Chanyeol wants nothing more than to punch the life out of him, both for being so daring and for hurting Baekhyun so badly. He can't do that though, and so he opts to just glare at the man in front of him.

"Well, you don't really have a choice," Heojoon tells him.

"I do-"

"If you don't want me to think that you are the traitor, you don't have a chance," cutting him off, Heojoon offers the whip one more time, raising eyebrows at Chanyeol. "So?"

"I'm not the traitor," Chanyeol says instead, voice full of hostility.

"Well, I don't believe you, and this is your chance to prove yourself to me."

"I won't hurt anyone just because you have put some dumb idea in your mind," Chanyeol grits his teeth, slapping Heojoon's hand away so hard that the whip falls out of the man's hand, falling on the ground. Heojoon looks down at the whip that lies on the ground, and then back at Chanyeol, his expression changing from cocky to something Chanyeol can't even describe.

"If you think it's dumb, that's fine," Heojoon says in a tone that's dangerously calm. Soon, Chanyeol understands why Heojoon isn't frustrated instead, like Chanyeol expected him to be. "Let's see what the general thinks about it. I wonder what he'll think after hearing that you have mercy with an enemy."

Chanyeol hesitates, but collects himself quickly. "My job is to keep him alive after you are done with him, not to beat him too."

"Your excuse doesn't work with me," Heojoon laughs, refusing to acknowledge Chanyeol's words. "You either do it and make me believe that you are not the traitor, or I'll go to general and tell him how over-protective of the brat you are."

"You have no proof, at all," Chanyeol counters.

"Doesn't mean someone else won't be assigned to watch over the kid instead of you after you are suspected. And I guess you don't want that, right?"

 _Fucking dick_ , Chanyeol curses in his mind, but doesn't let the words escape his lips, gulping them down along with the urge to punch the man. Heojoon is a sick, sadistic bastard, but he knows how to get what he wants, and Chanyeol hates it. However, what he hates even more is the possibility of Baekhyun being in hands of someone other than himself, and that's why Chanyeol begrudgingly bends down and picks up the whip, seeing a wide smile plastered on Heojoon's face when he straightens up.

"I should feel bad for making you do this, right?" Heojoon snorts as he turns around, coming up to Baekhyun and taking a hold of the boy's locks, pulling him up from the ground ruthlessly and pushing him against the wall, Baekhyun looking like a rag doll in the soldier's hold. After warning Baekhyun to stay put, Heojoon faces Chanyeol again, saying, "But I really don't. This is amazing payback for last time."

"Why don't you just admit that you want revenge on me instead of covering it up with the traitor talk?" Chanyeol asks.

"It's both," Heojoon admits without feeling the least bit guilty. "So, give me a show. I might have to go in a few."

When he finally looks over at Baekhyun after glaring at Heojoon for the last time, Chanyeol is shocked to catch the boy staring at him from the corners of his redish, tired eyes. Immediately, the whip in Chanyeol's hand feels way more heavy that it's supposed to be, and Chanyeol almost drops it because of how ashamed of himself he is - now Baekhyun has seen him like this; has seen the very man he trusted holding a whip in hand, ready to hurt him too instead of saving him.

 _I'm sorry_ , Chanyeol wants to say, fingers trembling as he steps closer to Baekhyun, passing Heojoon in the process. The older soldier is saying something, but Chanyeol mutes the man, only focusing on Baekhyun alone, feeling intense chest pain as he continues to stare into the pretty blue eyes that are puffy and ready to share more tears. From the look Baekhyun is giving him it's clear that Baekhyun isn't angry or disappointed, but it doesn't stop Chanyeol from hating himself for giving Baekhyun such a sight.

 _It's okay_ , Chanyeol can hear Baekhyun with his eyes, but no. It's not okay. This is not okay at all, and just because Baekhyun is able to forgive him for this, it doesn't mean that this is fine. Chanyeol should be the one protecting the boy, not hurting him even more.

Looking down at the whip in his head, Chanyeol feels his stomach turning uncomfortably, nausea hitting him. _I can't do this_ , he thinks, not even being able to imagine that he would hurt Baekhyun. He has a hard time holding the whip in his hand, so it's for sure that lifting it up and actually hitting Baekhyun is out of question. _No, this is wrong, this isn't right_ , a voice in his head says as Chanyeol takes another step closer to the boy who already looks ready to pass out. _But if you don't do this, you'll get in trouble. They will take you away from Baekhyun. Isn't that worse?_ another voice says, and Chanyeol tightens the grip on the whip at the thought. When Baekhyun sees it, he shuts his eyes and waits for the hit, realizing it should be coming soon.

But the hit never comes.

Because Chanyeol can't do it. Hurting Baekhyun is out of question, and Chanyeol feels guilty for even considering it. Baekhyun being taken from under his care just because Heojoon says bullshit to general? That won't be happening, but same goes for him whipping Baekhyun. Chanyeol would never be able to hurt the boy, and he would never forgive himself for as much as merely touching Baekhyun with the whip, let alone giving him a hit. Baekhyun is too precious for him for Chanyeol to do something like this.

Turning around with a frown and dropping the whip on the floor in the process, Chanyeol starts, "I'm-"

"I'm back," suddenly Woohyun appears, running a hand through his hair as he steps into the room and stops dead in his tracks upon seeing the scene in front of him. Trying to understand what's happening, he takes some time looking around, glancing from Baekhyun, to Chanyeol and to Woohyun, noticing the whip that's covered with blood lying on the floor. "What the fuck..."

"You interrupted," Heojoon rolls his eyes.

"Interrupted what exactly?" Woohyun asks with a confused frown, coming to stand in the middle of the room.

"I wanted to see if Park here would be able to hit his boy, but then you came," saying it like it's not a big deal, Heojoon walks over to Chanyeol and picks the whip from the floor. He picks it up easily, like it weights nothing, but when Chanyeol dropped it,? it felt like letting go of the heaviest rock on Earth. "Why did the general wanted to speak to you, anyway?"

"I'll tell you later."

Nodding, Heojoon turns back to Baekhyun and pushes Chanyeol out of the way, ending the game and going back to _serious business_ , as Heojoon likes to call it. For a second Chanyeol thinks that he won't be able to control himself and will push Heojoon as well, but in the end he overcomes the urge - that fucking promise he gave to Baekhyun keeping him away from causing trouble. Instead of starting a fight, Chanyeol throws one last disgusted glance at Heojoon before retreating back to the wall, fist clenching when he hears Baekhyun's cry after getting hit.

"It's strange," Woohyun says as Chanyeol passes him.

"What is?"

"You not picking up a fight," is Woohyun's answer, and Chanyeol rolls his eyes and decides to ignore the remark, slouching against the wall and gluing his eyes back to his shoes, wanting this all to be over already. It seems that the two assholes are here today for much longer than usual, and Chanyeol is starting to get very anxious, because he doesn't think Baekhyun can take more.

Not getting the message, Woohyun leans against the wall next to Chanyeol, arms crossed over his chest as he talks, clearly not caring that Chanyeol doesn't want to have a conversation with the man, "You know, I've been thinking about it for a while - about you and the brat, I mean." Chanyeol is seriously getting tired of Baekhyun being labelled as _brat_ , especially when the boy is so much more mature and smarter than Woohyun and Heojoon combined. "And I've meant to ask-"

"Not in the mood," Chanyeol tries, tone passive-aggressive.

It seems he doesn't have a say in this though, because Woohyun continues anyway. "I've meant to ask," the man repeats again, not backing down. "You fucking him?"

Chanyeol chokes on his own saliva. "What?" he yell-whispers, snapping his head to the side to look at Woohyun, who - like almost always - looks unbothered. To say that Chanyeol is shocked to hear such question is an understatement, and maybe that's why he can't believe that Woohyun seems to be so calm after asking something like this.

"Just wondering," Woohyun shrugs, averting his eyes from Chanyeol and looking at Baekhyun instead. "I mean, he's pretty, attractive. I wouldn't be surprised if you were screwing him. After all, you're always with him, don't you get the urge? After spending so much time here with a boy like him I would go crazy if I didn't get to touch him at least once."

"You're disgusting," Chanyeol spits out.

"Oh? So you haven't thought about it?"

"I haven't," answering, Chanyeol grits his teeth. _But you have_ , an unhelpful voice resonates through his mind, and Chanyeol quickly mutes it. Yes, he might have thought about being intimate with Baekhyun, but he always pushed such thoughts aside, feeling guilty for wondering about these things when Baekhyun was right there, innocently sleeping on his shoulder. It felt wrong.

"Liar. Why aren't you honest?" Woohyun questions. "Maybe you're embarrassed? Should I be honest with your first so you'll relax?" Chanyeol doesn't answer, and while sometimes silence means agreement, this is not the case. Woohyun is purposely ignoring Chanyeol's obvious discomfort though, speaking to Chanyeol as if they were friends, while they are extremely far from that. "If I were in your shoes, I would fuck him every day. It would be such a waste not to have a taste, wouldn't it? I would do so many things-"

"Shut up," Chanyeol cuts him off, fuming as he gets a hold of Woohyun's shoulders and slams him against the wall in rage. Woohyun looks shocked for a second, probably not expecting such a reaction, but Chanyeol doesn't give him the time to collect himself, leaning into the man's face before asking in a low, dangerous whisper, "The fuck's wrong with you? Saying things like this.. disgusting."

"What exactly is disgusting, in your opinion?" Woohyun throws a question of his own at Chanyeol. "Saying that I would fuck him? What's wrong with that? I'm sure you'd like that too - have him at least once."

"I will break both of your hands if you ever touch him," Chanyeol warns, serious, no doubt in his eyes.

"Yeah, we'll see about that," saying that, Woohyun pushes Chanyeol away and snorts, probably thinking that Chanyeol is not serious - which is very wrong, because Chanyeol is as serious as never before. "Anyway, Heojoon," the man passes Chanyeol and comes up to his friend, pulling him away from Baekhyun. "We have to go, it's getting late."

"Already? It was starting to be fun," Heojoon whines but agrees to leave in the end, standing up from where he was squatting beside Baekhyun. He rolls the whip afterwards, not fazed at all by the blood on his hands that gets there in the process, and Chanyeol feels sick again as he watches how unbothered Heojoon is.

"We were meant to leave sooner, but I wanted to have a short chat with Chanyeol," Woohyun says.

"Oh? About what?"

Smirking, Woohyun glances at Chanyeol before bending down and grabbing Baekhyun's hair, pulling the poor boy up. There is a sob escaping Baekhyun's lips, face scrunched up in pain, but Woohyun doesn't seem to care about the boy being in pain. "About the brat here being quite pretty. Have you noticed as well, Joon?" directing the question at Heojoon, Woohyun averts his gaze from Chanyeol's angry eyes to look at his friend. "Even looking like this, he is still worth fucking."

"You bastard-"

"Yeah, I've noticed. He's definitely something else," Heojoon sniggers.

The two continue talking about Baekhyun like the boy isn't even here, sharing nasty remarks that make Chanyeol want to puke. On the other hand, Baekhyun doesn't look sick from the disgusting comments, no. When Chanyeol looks at him apologetically, Baekhyun looks scared, droopy eyes wide in horror and chin quivering as he listens to it all.

"Enough, go," Chanyeol interrupts, not being able to just stand there and watch. Today, he's already had to see Baekhyun suffer enough, and this is just unacceptable. "You said you were meant to leave sooner, so go."

"You're no fun," Woohyun rolls his eyes and sighs. "But yeah, I'm really hungry, let's go." However, before leaving, Woohyun leans in and whispers something into Baekhyun's ear with a wicked smile, voice so quiet that Chanyeol doesn't catch it. Still, Chanyeol is sure it was something completely out of line, because when Woohyun lets go of Baekhyun's hair and stands up, Baekhyun starts trembling violently, his mouth slightly open as he falls forward now when nothing is holding him up.

"What did you say to him?" Heojoon asks with a smile, already ready to go.

"Oh, nothing much," Woohyun tells him casually. Then, though, when he turns at Chanyeol while passing him, his face breaks into an expression that's very similar to Heojoon's, all sly smiles and danger in his eyes. "Just that his face is too pretty to resist, and I'm not the type that can hold back."

With that said, the both pass Chanyeol and walk out of the room, shutting the building's front door and leaving only Baekhyun and Chanyeol there. However, even though the two are gone now, Chanyeol feels like they are still here as the awful sexual remarks that were thrown Baekhyun's way linger in the air, going on loop in Chanyeol's mind.

Gulping the lump in his throat and chasing away Woohyun's and Heojoon's voices, Chanyeol comes up to Baekhyun with slow steps and kneels down in front of the boy, lifting him up from the ground and not caring at all about getting his clothes dirty as he lets Baekhyun fall on him, the boy's chin digging into his shoulder. "C-Chanyeol," Baekhyun whispers, voice sounding like last week, full of fear that seeps into his tone easily. "He s-said- He said that-"

"Don't think about it," Chanyeol cuts Baekhyun off, not wanting these kind of thoughts to be on Baekhyun's mind.

"But-"

"Just don't. He wasn't serious, okay? He was just saying things," Chanyeol says, but he himself knows very well that Woohyun was definitely not joking - that neither of the two soldiers were joking. And, to be honest, it scares Chanyeol a lot, just imagining Woohyun being true to his words and approaching Baekhyun with the goal of-

 _No_ , Chanyeol stops himself. _I shouldn't think about this either._ But it's hard to chase away all of the disgusting comments when he can never be sure about what can Woohyun or Heojoon do, the two unpredictable and crazy in their own way, which is a horrible combination.

He can't let that happen, any of it. Promises be screwed, he will rather die than let Baekhyun be manhandled by those two pigs.

"Let's get you cleaned up, okay?" changing the topic, Chanyeol whispers into Baekhyun's ear and wraps a hand around the boy's lower back where there is no injury, pulling him close. Immediately, blood gets on his hand, and he bites the insides of his cheeks, hating the feel of it. Baekhyun shouldn't have been hurt like that. Baekhyun should never be hurt. "Can you stand up?"

Instead of answering the question though, Baekhyun replies with, "I'm scared." A sob follows, Baekhyun leaning more into Chanyeol and burying his head in the soldier's neck as the tears roll down his cheeks. "I'm really scared, Chanyeol," he chokes out, and Chanyeol's vision blurs, the wetness in his eyes making it impossible to see clearly. _Don't cry_ , Chanyeol tells himself, looking up at the ceiling as he blinks rapidly, trying to chase the tears away. He needs to be strong for Baekhyun, he can't cry.

"Don't be," Chanyeol chokes out, his voice sounding less steady than he wanted it to be. "Everything's gonna be fine." What a lie. "Right now, we need to get your wounds treated, okay?"

Baekhyun sniffles, clutching at Chanyeol's shirt. "Okay," he says in the end, and stands up on shaky legs with Chanyeol's help. Before they can move forward though, Baekhyun quietly asks - or more like, states in a neutral tone, "You weren't going to do it... Hit me, I mean."

"No. I would never," Chanyeol answers, knowing very well what is Baekhyun getting at. However, despite promising not to cause trouble for himself with picking up fights with either Woohyun or Heojoon, Chanyeol would never be able to bring himself to hurt the boy that took not only his breath away, but also his heart.

  
  


It was only a few minutes after Baekhyun had gotten his wounds treated that he fell asleep, taking a hold of Chanyeol's hand before he drifted off. As of now, it might be one hour, two, or even three that Baekhyun has been asleep - Chanyeol doesn't know how much time he spent sitting on the floor by the bed, holding the boy's hand, and honestly he doesn't care. His legs are hurting a little by now, same as his back because of how strangely bent he is, but the only thing he cares about is Baekhyun, and if the boy is alright - as alright as he can be.

This time it was truly something else to take care of Baekhyun's injuries. Chanyeol is not a doctor, only being able to do simple things, but the cuts from the whip were huge, and there were too many of them here for Chanyeol to know what to do about them. It was much worse than what Baekhyun has on his stomach, and the treatment was also that much more painful.

However, before taking care of the injuries all over Baekhyun's body - but most importantly the boy's back - Chanyeol had to wipe away all the blood, washing Baekhyun's skin with a warm, wet cloth after undressing him. Chanyeol felt bad for Baekhyun because he knew that the boy must feel embarrassed as he lied there naked on his stomach, his whole bare body there for Chanyeol to see, but there was no other way - Baekhyun's pants were too dirty and needed to be washed.

Chanyeol had to use the cloth to wash Baekhyun many times, but now wasn't the same as always though, because - aside from Baekhyun being completely naked - this time there was so much blood that it had gotten Baekhyun quite dirty, and Chanyeol had to clean more personal areas of Baekhyun's body as well - and by personal areas Chanyeol means Baekhyun's bottom. Despite the blood not getting too far, Chanyeol still had to touch the curve of Baekhyun's ass with the cloth, and it was truly awkward, especially when Baekhyun was blushing hard in embarrassment and avoided Chanyeol's eyes like a plague during the whole process.

After wiping away all the blood and covering Baekhyun's lower body with a blanket to save him from feeling uncomfortable even longer, Chanyeol finally started treating the horrible wounds. He hated the fact that he was hurting Baekhyun even after the two assholes were gone, but he knew that he needed to clean the wounds if he wanted to get rid of possibilities of infection. Still, Chanyeol felt bad every time Baekhyun sobbed, gripping the sheets underneath his body tighter for support. It must have all hurt too much, even despite Chanyeol trying to be as gentle as possible.

Patching it up was another thing.

Putting bandage on small cuts and things similar is okay with Chanyeol, he can do that. But the problem was that almost the whole expanse of Baekhyun's back was injured, and Chanyeol was suddenly lost as to how he should put the bandage on. In the end, though Baekhyun was close to passing out from the pain and from being too tired, the boy instructed Chanyeol through it, praising the man after everything was done. When Baekhyun told him _good job_ , Chanyeol wanted to cry again upon seeing the subtle smile on the pretty bow-shaped lips.

When the cuts on Baekhyun's back were all treated and patched up best to Chanyeol's abilities, Chanyeol disappeared into his own room for a second, taking another sweater and pants for Baekhyun from the wardrobe and bringing it to the boy who put the clothing on with Chanyeol's help. Then, Chanyeol took Baekhyun to his own room, carrying him to the bed with one hand around the boy's lower back and one hand under his bottom. Chanyeol felt a little awkward touching Baekhyun like this even though it was solely for the purpose of moving the boy to the other room, but there was now other way - carrying Baekhyun bridal style was out of question because of the injured back, so Chanyeol opted for this option instead, holding Baekhyun in his arms as if Baekhyun were a toddler. Baekhyun, despite being weak after today's events, was still strong enough to circle his arms around Chanyeol's neck and wrap his legs around Chanyeol's waist as a means of holding on when the soldier heaved him up and took him to a clean bed, but as soon as Baekhyun landed on the mattress, the boy was out, falling asleep immediately, not letting go of Chanyeol's hand.

And so Chanyeol stayed, forgetting about dinner for now for an exchange of simply being here by Baekhyun's side, pampering the small, pretty hand with kisses while Baekhyun slept soundly on his stomach - on which the cuts were slowly but surely healing. It might still hurt, but it was the only way, since sleeping on his back was impossible for Baekhyun.

Chanyeol has never dared to touch any part of Baekhyun's body with his lips, sometimes fearing to touch the boy with even his hands, but somehow, this felt right. At that moment, it felt like it would be a sin not to kiss the boy's pretty hand, lips grazing the now-healed scratches on the boy's wrist and going down until they reach Baekhyun's fingertips.

"Why did you make me promise?" Chanyeol whispers out loud while knowing that Baekhyun can't hear him, holding the boy’s hand tightly but gently at the same time. Just like he always does. "Why did I even agree?" Resting his forehead against the back of Baekhyun's hand, Chanyeol sighs and tries to shake off the regretful feeling. Baekhyun wouldn't want him to feel like that. The boy was brave enough to forbid Chanyeol from helping him, knowing that he'd be all alone in this without anyone to save him from the suffering, so the least Chanyeol can do in return is to help Baekhyun get better instead of pitying himself.

Knowing that Baekhyun will be hungry after waking up, since he haven't eaten anything but small breakfast and lunch, Chanyeol involuntary lets go of Baekhyun's hand, kissing it once more before putting it on the bed beside where Baekhyun's head is buried in the pillow. He doesn't like leaving Baekhyun alone, especially not in this condition, but Chanyeol can't let Baekhyun skip a meal either. Besides, he might need some fresh air as well.

However, the moment Chanyeol stands up and turns to leave, he can hear a voice from behind asking, "Why are you leaving?"

The soldier jumps a little at the surprise of hearing Baekhyun's voice. "For dinner," Chanyeol answers simply as he turns back to face Baekhyun after overcoming the previous shock, catching the boy staring at him with half-lidded, sleepy eyes.

"Don't go," Baekhyun mumbles.

"You have to eat something," Chanyeol says, not backing down this time. He wants nothing more than to stay here with Baekhyun too, but the dinner can't be skipped, not when the boy doesn't get a big enough portion for meals to begin with.

Baekhyun is silent for a moment, just holding eye-contact with Chanyeol as he tries to persuade the soldier to stay with that sad look in his eyes. Seeing that Chanyeol is adamant on getting the dinner still the same though, Baekhyun licks his dry lips and quietly admits, "I don't want to be alone." It almost seems like he's embarrassed to say it, and Chanyeol doesn't understand why.

Sighing deeply with his heart aching from these six words, Chanyeol comes back to the bed and kneels down in front of it, reaching Baekhyun's line of vision. "I don't want you to be alone either," Chanyeol says, hesitating a little before reaching out to brush away the bangs from Baekhyun's forehead, letting his hand slide down to the boy's cheek afterwards. There is another bruise now, replacing the one that has faded away, and Chanyeol is careful not to touch it. "But I don't want you to be hungry. And I don't want you lose weight."

Closing eyes when Chanyeol caresses his cheek, Baekhyun purses his lips a little to show how he doesn't like this situation but understands Chanyeol's reasons. "Please come back quickly," the boy says in the end, and Chanyeol smiles. Baekhyun likes to be stubborn, and while the soldier likes arguing with him because it's funny most of the times, right now he is glad that Baekhyun has given up. After all, he can't really waste time right now, since the workers in the kitchen might refuse to give him the meals past the dinner time.

"I'll be right back, you just rest," with that said, Chanyeol stands up and turns to leave, now he actually succeeding in exiting the building, giving Baekhyun one last glance before he disappears.

  
  


As promised, he tries to be as quick as possible, fast-walking through the camp and barging into the kitchens without even knocking. "Good evening," he greets, giving the two cooks that look at him with shock a small smile. "Is Jongin around?"

"He's.. busy," one of them says.

"Busy how?"

" _Busy_."

And it's thanks to that tone and a smirk on the cook's face that he understands what kind of busy Jongin is right now. "Oh is he? Good for him," Chanyeol chuckles, happy for Jongin. The last time they had a conversation that was longer than ten words, Jongin was worried about going too fast, and now he's in the back being _busy._ What a good turn of events for his best friend.

"The sexual tension here was killing everyone, so good for all of us," the second cook says. Chanyeol feels guilty for not knowing their names, because their faces are familiar, but on the other hand, his memory isn't the greatest. "Anyway, do you need something from him especially, or...?"

"I only came for dinner, but Jongin is always the one who prepares the trays for me so.." Chanyeol trails off, looking between the two soldiers.

Fortunately, they get the message. "You're kinda late tonight, don't you think? Dinner time ended minutes ago," the shorter of the two asks, and Chanyeol gulps, scared that they will send him away. However, his worries disappear when the cook says, "But I'm a nice person, so..."

A few minutes later, they hand Chanyeol two trays with food, but Chanyeol is shocked to see that there is much more food than usual. When he looks questioningly at both of the men, they shrug shoulders, the taller one explaining, "We cooked more today, and thus more was left. You can take it, since nobody else is coming anymore." Then, when Chanyeol continues to stare with doubt, the two cooks share a laugh. "We're serious, just take it. Jongin would have given you the same amount anyway, so don't question it... Or we'll take it back."

"I'll take it," Chanyeol says immediately. "Thanks." He would think that luck is on his side, but given everything that has happened today, what has been happening recently, he instead thinks that there is at least something good in all the bad.

With food trays full of food, Chanyeol rushes back to Baekhyun right away. He wasn't away along, but even those very short minutes feel like forever when he realizes that Baekhyun is hurt, scared and alone. He probably can't do anything about the first one, but what he can do is provide Baekhyun company that would ease the fear and worries in the boy's heart. Or at least, Chanyeol hopes it would.

When Chanyeol returns, he finds Baekhyun sitting on the edge of the bed, the boy looking at the ground and seemingly being so deep in thought that he doesn't see Chanyeol coming. It's only when Chanyeol steps into the room and puts the trays on the large table next to the door that Baekhyun looks up, blue eyes locking with brown ones. What Chanyeol immediately notices are two things; the bruises on Baekhyun's face are becoming more colorful, and that the boy's eyes are puffy and glassy.

Baekhyun was crying again.

Chanyeol wants to address it, go and hug Baekhyun, but the boy smiles at him prettily the very next second, and Chanyeol realizes that Baekhyun most likely doesn't want another crying session and pitiful hugs, instead craving for a distraction from all the problems. And so, Chanyeol provides.

"I hope you're hungry because we've gotten extra portion today," the soldier says, taking Baekhyun's tray and putting it on the bed-side table that he moves in front of Baekhyun afterwards.

"Why? Did you ask for it again? Chanyeol, you can't do that if you don't wanna get in trouble, we-"

"I didn't ask for it, they gave it to me themselves. They had made a lot today and I was the last one to come," Chanyeol explains. "Stop worrying so much about me." _It's yourself you should worry about, stupid,_ is left unsaid.

After the dinner is put in front of Baekhyun, Chanyeol goes over to the large wooden table next to the door to retrieve his own tray with food, sitting down on the bed beside Baekhyun afterwards with the tray on his thighs. However, even though the smell of meat hits his nose and makes his mouth go dry, Chanyeol doesn't start eating immediately, instead glancing over at the boy worriedly. "You must eat, even if you are not hungry," Chanyeol says when he sees Baekhyun just sitting there with hands gripping the edge of the bed. "You can't skip a meal."

"I am hungry."

"Then why aren't you eating?" Chanyeol questions, confused. After all, Baekhyun loves food - especially meat.

A short silence, and then Baekhyun admits in a quiet whisper, "It hurts when I move." The boy seems to be afraid to meet Chanyeol's eyes - as if there was something to be embarrassed about - and Chanyeol feels the familiar pang in his heart once again.

Knowing that Baekhyun hates being left with no response, Chanyeol decides quickly. Putting his tray on the ground a meter away from the bed, he shifts closer to Baekhyun and says, "I'll feed you." Without waiting for Baekhyun has got to say, the soldier reaches for the large glass of water on Baekhyun's tray. "But drink first."

"No. No way," Baekhyun shakes his head, turning his head away. "That's just- no."

"Baekhyun.."

"I'll wait until morning, I'll be feeling better then."

"It'll get cold and disgusting."

"Still edible. And besides, your dinner will get cold in the meantime-"

"So stubborn," Chanyeol sighs before reaching out for Baekhyun's face with his empty hand, turning it back to him carefully. "Drink, and stop arguing with me, will you?" Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a small smile, moving the glass with water in front of the boy's lips, the rim touching Baekhyun's mouth. When Baekhyun doesn't open his mouth, just glances at Chanyeol, Chanyeol raises his eyebrows at the boy, urging him to finally take a sip. "I might not be naturally strongheaded - like you - but I can be stubborn when I want to, and this is it. I'm not letting you say no."

"It's embarrassing," Baekhyun says.

"It's not," Chanyeol shakes his head. "Drink. Please."

After a few seconds of intense eye-contact, Baekhyun finally complies. Chanyeol's smile grows larger as he feels proud of himself for persuading such a stubborn person, but also feels happy for being able to take care of the boy - since he couldn't do anything to save Baekhyun from getting hurt, taking care of him afterwards is all he can do, after all, and he is determined to do well.

When Baekhyun has drunk enough water, Chanyeol takes chopsticks in his hand and asks, "What do you want as a first bite?"

"...Meat," Baekhyun mumbles. "Of course."

"Of course," Chanyeol mimics, picking up a piece of meat with his chopsticks and feeding it to Baekhyun who reluctantly opens his mouth. The boy's sour expression changes as soon as the meat is in his mouth, and Chanyeol chuckles again. "Good?" the soldier asks triumphantly.

"I've never said the food is bad," Baekhyun mumbles while chewing. "Just that this situation is embarrassing."

"It's really not," saying that, Chanyeol gives Baekhyun some rice then, as well as water, because he knows that Baekhyun always drinks while eating. Not before or after - during it. Chanyeol himself has never really understood how can Baekhyun do that - after all, won't the food taste bad this way, soaked with water completely? - but while thinking about it as rather strange, he also kind of likes it as well because it's _Baekhyun_ doing it.

"I feel pathetic."

"You are so far from that," Chanyeol tells him right away, feeding him another piece of meat. "You are anything but pathetic. I actually think you are truly amazing."

That seems to silence Baekhyun, the boy blushing and accepting the rice that comes next. Chanyeol deems it as the end of the topic after seeing Baekhyun's slightly red cheeks and ears, and he wants to tease the boy about the cute blush, but then decides against it, just enjoying the sight instead. _So cute, so beautiful,_ Chanyeol thinks as he stares dreamily at Baekhyun, his cheeks hurting already from smiling so much.

The rest of the dinner is spent relatively in silence which is interrupted mostly with Baekhyun occasionally saying that he feels embarrassed. As always, it results in Chanyeol telling him that he shouldn't feel like that, adding compliments to his sentences because, why not? He's not lying when he says that Baekhyun is amazing, brave, intelligent or strong, or is he? There are so many other things Chanyeol thinks about Baekhyun - how beautiful the boy is, how mesmerizing his eyes are, how much he wants to kiss so much more than the back Baekhyun's hand - but those things Chanyeol decides to keep a secret.

When Baekhyun has eaten everything, Chanyeol helps the boy lie back down, covering him with blanket afterwards. It must be quite uncomfortable, lying on his stomach when he's so full, but there's no way Baekhyun could be lying on his back, so this is the only option.

Just then, when Baekhyun is lying under the covers, Chanyeol touches his own dinner. Taking the tray from the ground and putting it on his thighs as he sits on the edge of the bed, Chanyeol starts eating, enjoying the food even though it's gone quite cold by now. However, Chanyeol doesn't really mind, having no regrets about leaving his own dinner for later in order to feed Baekhyun - in fact, the meal tastes much better when he knows that Baekhyun ate well.

After eating everything, Chanyeol takes both Baekhyun's and his tray away, putting it on the large table by the door and returning back to sit on the edge of the mattress. He is about to ask Baekhyun if he's alright or if it hurts too much, but Baekhyun is faster than him, saying, "Lie down with me..?" The boy's voice is uncertain, and to make up for it, he circles his fingers around Chanyeol's first, tugging on it a little. "Please?"

"Of course." Chanyeol does as requested, careful not to hurt Baekhyun in the process. "Are you tired? Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?" he asks, not even stopping to think about it as he intertwines their fingers, clasping their hands together.

"Tired, but not really sleepy," Baekhyun says, voice muffled by the pillow. "...Chanyeol?"

"Yes?"

"Can you sleep here tonight? Like that time?" the question is kind of unexpected, and it surprises Chanyeol a little.

"Uh-.. I don't think I should," is Chanyeol's reply. He doesn't tell Baekhyun why, but he is sure that Baekhyun knows, remembers the reasons Chanyeol stated a week ago. Still, a pout appears on Baekhyun's lips just a second later, showing how dissatisfied the boy is by the answer, and Chanyeol can't help but think about his answer more. "Won't you sleep better if you have the bed for yourself?" he asks. While not wanting to make Baekhyun unhappy, Chanyeol doesn't think it's such a good idea to sleep here with him, despite how comfortable it was a week ago.

"No," Baekhyun says immediately. "It actually feels too empty.. It didn't feel like that with you." _Again with killing me without being aware of it,_ Chanyeol thinks. "And I... I don't want to be alone. I have bad dreams often," Baekhyun admits, and Chanyeol's gaze softens, the soldier squeezing the smaller hand upon feeling his heart swell with fondness and affection... and love. "When you stayed, I had a peaceful sleep. My dreams were nice, so," gulping and looking away in embarrassment, Baekhyun asks, "Sleep here with me once more...?"

"Okay," after that, Chanyeol doesn't need much time to think about his answer. "I'll sleep by your side," the soldiers says, bringing Baekhyun's pretty hand to his mouth and kissing it softly. "I'll stay whenever you'd want me to."

It's only after the kiss that Chanyeol realizes that now Baekhyun isn't asleep but awake, and that him doing something like this might not be alright with Baekhyun. However, all of his worries disappear when Baekhyun shifts closer to Chanyeol instead of pulling away, the boy whispering quietly, "Stay every night."

Chanyeol chuckles against the smooth skin of Baekhyun's hand. "If you wish for it, then okay."

When Baekhyun smiles at him afterwards, Chanyeol can't help but think that the boy looks mesmerizing, and this time not because of his angelic face, but because of the sparks of joy in his blue eyes - the look of happiness suits Baekhyun the most.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Chanyeol sees when he opens his eyes is Baekhyun's face just a few inches away from his own, and the soldier decides that there is not a more beautiful sight to wake up to. It's on impulse that he reaches out and brushes his fingertips against the boy's cheek, touching only where there is no bruise and admiring how smooth the skin underneath his fingers is before he lets his hand fall on the crook of Baekhyun's neck, thumb caressing Baekhyun's jawline. His eyes trail Baekhyun's features slowly, taking in the sight, and he stops only when he reaches Baekhyun's blue eyes, suddenly unable to look away because those eyes are simply too perfect.

It feels unreal, having Baekhyun so close and even being able to touch him, and maybe that's why Chanyeol thinks that this is all, well, _unreal._ It's all like a dream, especially because the only thing he can focus on is Baekhyun's presence, all the bad thoughts not yet seeping into his mind and ruining the beautiful image in front of him with big black cloud of negativeness. However, when Baekhyun whispers a, "Good morning," with that melodic voice of his, Chanyeol realizes that this isn't just his imagination, but reality - a reality that is for one better than any dream could be.

"Good morning, angel," Chanyeol whispers back, voice hoarse. Despite finding out that this is not only a dream but that it's really happening, Chanyeol doesn't move his hand away from Baekhyun's neck like he usually would, and instead he lets it be there without fearing what reaction could Baekhyun have to such affectionate action - after all, he already knows that Baekhyun doesn't dislike it, so there are no worries in Chanyeol's heart. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," Baekhyun breathes out, smiling as he shifts closer to Chanyeol and closes his eyes, letting himself enjoy the touch and the close proximity. "Thank you."

"There's nothing to thank me for."

 _Baekhyun's smile is so pretty,_ Chanyeol thinks as his gaze falls on Baekhyun's lips. It's a very specific kind of smile, a sleepy and content one, with one corner of the boy's lips being tugged upwards in a lazy fashion while the other remains on its place, and Chanyeol loves it so incredibly much, just like any other smile Baekhyun gifts him with every day. He has never told Baekhyun because he hasn't found the courage yet, but maybe, just maybe, he will soon be able to share his little secret with Baekhyun.

And perhaps, he will also find enough courage to lean in and kiss Baekhyun when the urge comes to him - like, for example, right now, as he sees Baekhyun licking his lips, the boy opening his eyes again and looking at Chanyeol with such a lovely gaze; A gaze that's saying that Baekhyun might have the same thoughts as him, but just like Chanyeol, isn't brave enough to make a move - which is quite strange because, for Chanyeol, Baekhyun is the synonym of brave.

"Does it hurt?" Chanyeol asks after some time, eyes flickering to Baekhyun's patched up back. There is blood seeping through at some places, and Chanyeol already plans on when to change the bandages again and put some ointment on as well to fasten the healing.

"Only when I move," Baekhyun answers. "When I'm lying still I just... feel it, if it makes sense."

Nodding, Chanyeol glances back up into Baekhyun's face, shifting closer and resting his forehead against Baekhyun's. "I hope it'll get better soon," Chanyeol says. He's so close to Baekhyun's lips that moving one inch closer would result in them kissing, but he doesn't dare to close the distance. Going past the line of loving touches is something he can't do yet. "..Should I go and pick up breakfast?" Chanyeol asks after seeing the time on the clock from the corners of his eyes.

"No, not yet," Baekhyun tells Chanyeol right away. "Let's just stay like this."

And Chanyeol isn't the one to say no to Baekhyun's request, so he stays unmoving just like Baekhyun wants him to for another few minutes, closing his eyes and tangling his fingers into Baekhyun's black hair. It's amazing, to spend the morning with Baekhyun close to him, no problems worrying the soldier for at least some time as he breathes in Baekhyun's sweet scent, his calm heart beating in the rhythm of love instead of fear. If Chanyeol could, he would bring Baekhyun close to his chest and hug him tight, but he can't do that because of how hurt Baekhyun is, so he just enjoys the close proximity, playing with the black locks of the boy's hair.

"I wanna take a bath today," Baekhyun whispers suddenly.

Sighing, Chanyeol says, "You can't, Baekhyun. You know you can't. It wouldn't do your injuries any good."

"I know," Baekhyun mumbles. "I'm just saying I would want one, that's all."

"You'll have one when you get better." Chanyeol pats Baekhyun's head before burying his fingers in Baekhyun's locks again, adding, "And you’ll get better only if you eat a lot, which means I should go for breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," Baekhyun says, but the loud grumble of his stomach gives him away, making Chanyeol chuckle. "It's not how it looks... or sounds."

"I'm getting breakfast right now."

It proves to be rather hard for Chanyeol to get up, especially since it means letting go of Baekhyun. However, no matter how much Chanyeol likes the warmness of the bed and Baekhyun's company, he can't spend his whole day like that - even though he would wish for it. He needs to go and get breakfast, then he needs to clean Baekhyun's clothes from yesterday, and then he must get Baekhyun new sheets and do something about the dirty ones. Plus, he should visit the storage room again and get new medical supplies because a lot of bandages and other things disappeared after yesterday's treatment.

"Be back quickly," Baekhyun mumbles when Chanyeol stands up and goes over to his wardrobe, switching the sweatpants for the combat pants but leaving the same shirt he slept in on, not caring that it has many wrinkles. He's just going to get the meals anyway, and then he'll be back again here where only Baekhyun can see him.

"Why? Are you that hungry?" Chanyeol questions, turning back to Baekhyun when he's dressed. He doesn't know if it's his mind playing tricks or not, but he would swear that Baekhyun's face looks a little red, as if the boy was blushing, and Chanyeol is confuse as to why would Baekhyun blush. It's probably just his imagination because he truly likes blushing Baekhyun.

"No," Baekhyun says. "I want _you_ back."

To that, Chanyeol doesn't know how to answer. It's not the lack of words, not really; the reason he falls silent is mostly because after choking on his own saliva, there's not really a way for him to speak, and when he _can_ speak again, the courage to yell _I like you so damn much_ isn't anywhere to be found.

And so, Chanyeol just gulps as he feels his face getting redder, quickly disappearing from the room after putting on shoes and telling Baekhyun that he'll be right back. It's one of the most embarrassing reactions he could have had, but whatever. What awaits him when he comes back is maybe some nice teasing from Baekhyun, but he can take that. Besides, Baekhyun's eyes that are sparkling with mischievousness are incredibly pretty, so Chanyeol doesn't mind all that much.

Going through the camp, Chanyeol notices that people around him seem to be in distress. The camp isn't usually loud, but the quietness that lingers in the air today along with this strange atmosphere is indeed different from any other days, and Chanyeol wonders if something is going on.

Since the time he got assigned to Baekhyun, Chanyeol truly spent ninety-nine percent of his time with the boy. He took care of Baekhyun to his best abilities, and then when they became familiar with each other and found a way to each other, Chanyeol found himself unable to leave the boy's side, always there accompanying Baekhyun and somehow, in the process, the outer world continued to spin without him, leaving Chanyeol out. It all resulted in this situation, in which Chanyeol doesn't have the slightest idea of what's going on, not sparing a second in the past two months to pay attention to anything other than Baekhyun and Jongin, and it feels rather weird to seemingly be the only one who doesn't know what's the problem.

He decides to ask about it, and after walking into the kitchens and seeing Jongin, the first thing that falls out of his mouth instead of a greeting is, "Why is everyone so... weird?" and then, "Nice hickey."

"Firstly, hi to you too. Secondly, thank you a lot. And thirdly, there are two things that supposedly cause some distress," Jongin answers, pulling the collar of his jacket higher to cover the purple-ish mark on his neck. "Have you heard about there being a spy?"

"Yeah," Chanyeol replies, a little bit more bitterly than intended when a memory from yesterday flashes through his mind.

"Well, everyone is quite worried - me included - because nobody can find out who the spy is, and, as of now, we are doing a little badly on the fronts. And by little I mean, a lot... From what I've heard, South is beating us badly. They are just a few kilometers away from our camp even, and if we don't find the spy soon, we could be in trouble," Jongin explains quietly, not wanting others to hear. Everybody is worrying a lot without Jongin saying it out loud and reminding everyone that in a few days, everyone could be forced to fight for their life even in the relative safety of the camp.

"It's that bad?" Chanyeol blinks, putting a hand to his mouth in shock. The last Chanyeol has heard, North Korea was winning the war, close to defeating Busan, and now it's all the way around and it's them who are to be defeated? In only two months, it has changed like that?

"Yes, that's why people are worried. It doesn't look good," gulping, Jongin turns his back to Chanyeol as he takes two trays and puts them on the table, preparing the breakfasts for Chanyeol to take. Indeed, even Jongin who doesn't listen to rumors going around is looking restless, and Chanyeol can't help but fear a little too. It really could be days until their camp is ambushed...

"Do you have some tips? On who could be the spy?" Chanyeol asks.

"No. And I don't really wanna accuse anyone because the least we need is people being bad to one another because of suspicion. I just- I just hope someone will find them, quickly, to ease the tension a little. And I also hope the camp will survive it all - that we will survive it all." Jongin's voice is strained, and Chanyeol's gaze softens. He hates seeing his best friend like this, and what he hates even more is the possibility that he might not see Jongin again one day. If the camp is truly ambushed in the near future, Jongin might die. Chanyeol himself might die.

It was just a few minutes ago that he didn't have to worry about anything, lying calmly beside Baekhyun and enjoying the morning they got to spent together, side by side underneath the blankets. Why does everything have to screw up every time Chanyeol gets a taste of happiness in his life?

"Hey," Chanyeol says, coming up to Jongin and stopping him for a moment. When Jongin looks at him with eyes look calm but scream _scared_ underneath the pretense, Chanyeol tells him, "It's going to be alright."

"You don't know that," Jongin shakes his head, sighing.

"All we can do is hope it will be and fight when the time comes. Besides, look at these guns," Chanyeol points to his arms, trailing the line of his biceps. "I will protect you."

Jongin tries to hold in his amusement, but fails miserably after two seconds, chuckling slightly before erupting in loud laughter. A few of the cooks look at them strangely and some of them even frown at them with judgement - how can they laugh in this situation, right? - but the two don't care. The few seconds of laughing are what chases away the fear momentarily, and Jongin and Chanyeol decide to enjoy those seconds gratefully before having to come back to reality that is, sadly, not as amusing.

"What a strong man," Jongin comments with a smirk, punching Chanyeol's arm.

"That's why you shouldn't be afraid... and give me the breakfast instead," Chanyeol says, keeping the smile on, hoping that it will ease Jongin's worries for now. He also hopes that the smile which is on his lips solely for the purpose of cheering Jongin up a little won't be taken wrongly by the others, because Chanyeol really doesn't want to look suspicious in the eyes of anyone in here. Heojoon is already pointing a finger at him, and while Chanyeol isn't all that happy about it, he can live with it. But having more fingers pointed at him? It would most likely cause some unwanted trouble, and more problems is something Chanyeol isn't in a need of, having enough of them as it is.

"Be patient, will you? It takes time to prepare it," Jongin says. However, a second later, it seems that the realization has hit him, and his friend carefully, quietly asks, "Are you in hurry today? Is he hurt?"

"Yeah," Chanyeol answers sadly, copying Jongin's volume so nobody will hear them talking.

"How bad is it?"

" _Bad,_ " Chanyeol's reply is short and simple, but it's enough for Jongin to understand.

Nodding, Jongin puts the glasses with water on the tray, not forgetting to give Baekhyun a larger one. Then, after checking if there's nothing missing, he passes the trays to Chanyeol, saying, "I hope he gets better soon."

"Me too," Chanyeol mumbles before bidding Jongin goodbye, taking the trays in his hands and leaving, noticing how some of the cooks look at him strangely as he walks through the kitchen. He wonders if ignoring the not-so-subtle glances thrown his way is the right choice or not, but by the time he makes the decision, he is already out of the building and on the way back to Baekhyun, his legs moving fast in order to get back quicker.

The closer he is to their building, the less stressed Chanyeol feels despite the camp's atmosphere, and he can tell without any thinking that it's all because Baekhyun’s company is currently the only thing that can make his worries disappear, and knowing that with every step taken he's closer to the boy that can calm all of his nerves with his presence alone, Chanyeol's heart feels rather at ease.

By the time Chanyeol steps into the building there are close to no worries weighing him down, but the very moment he sees the blue eyes boy sitting on the bed, waiting for him, _close to no worries_ turns into _no worries at all._ It's only a second later that their eyes meet as well, Baekhyun turning his head in the direction of the door after hearing someone approaching, and immediately, the boy accuses, "You took too long."

"Breakfast takes some time to prepare," Chanyeol uses Jongin's words. "And besides-" before being able to continue, Chanyeol realizes that maybe it's not right to burden Baekhyun more, and so instead of mentioning the situation on the fronts and revealing how much it worries everyone in the camp, the soldier says, "Besides, I had to tease Jongin a little about yesterday."

"What about yesterday?" Baekhyun questions, brows furrowed slightly in confusion.

Walking to the bed and putting Baekhyun's tray in front of the boy, Chanyeol answers with a chuckle, "You know how I told you about him and Kyungsoo? They have gotten together." He doesn't tell Baekhyun about how exactly he found out yesterday, afraid that Baekhyun might feel uncomfortable at the mention of sex after hearing all of the nasty remarks from the assholes not so long ago.

"Oh? That's good," Baekhyun's expression clears again. "You said Jongin likes Kyungsoo a lot, right?"

"He does," Chanyeol nods.

"Why would you tease him about it, then? You're a bad friend," Baekhyun says with sarcasm, giving Chanyeol a playful smile.

"I'm the best friend," Chanyeol disagrees and sits down on the bed, putting his tray on his knees. Today he doesn't really feel hungry, and so instead of digging in, Chanyeol just lets the food untouched, focusing his attention on Baekhyun. Seeing that the boy isn't making any move to grab his chopsticks or the water, just sitting still like yesterday at dinner, Chanyeol wants to ask if he should help again, but in the end, he doesn't get to say anything because after noticing Chanyeol's gaze on him, Baekhyun quickly reaches out for something, anything, in order to show Chanyeol that he's fine.

However, it has the exact opposite effect, since the moment Baekhyun moves, there is a gasp of pain that involuntary escapes his mouth, and then the next second the boy is already grasping the sheets tightly, eyes shut. "Baekhyun?" Chanyeol calls out in worry, putting his tray on the ground right away and turning to the boy, panicked.

"It's fine," Baekhyun chokes out, breathing shakily. "It was the same when I was getting up."

"You should haven't gotten up, then," Chanyeol whisper-yells, not daring to lay his hands on Baekhyun, afraid that he could hurt Baekhyun if he touched the boy in the wrong place.

"You should have just stayed in the bed."

"I didn't want to," is all Baekhyun provides as an explanation, inhaling and then exhaling deeply before opening his eyes again and blinking away the pain. "It's nothing to be worried about."

" _Nothing to worry about,_ yeah, of course," Chanyeol mumbles, unhappy with Baekhyun's words. "You should lie back down."

"I'm already up though," Baekhyun protests. "And I'm hungry."

Sighing, the soldier runs a hand through his hair, distress clear in his expression and worry shining brightly in his brown eyes. "Why are you so reckless with your health?" Chanyeol asks. Baekhyun is a medic, there is no way the boy doesn't know what he's doing. Or is he just being foolishly brave again to prove himself that he's fine while, in fact, he is clearly not in the best condition?

For a while, Baekhyun doesn't answer, the look in his eyes unreadable, but in the end he speaks up, saying, "I'm sorry."

"Apologize to yourself, not to me. It's your body you're hurting." _Along with my heart that bleeds every time I have to see you like this,_ Chanyeol doesn't say, not wanting to add fuel to the fire after seeing the guilt spreading on Baekhyun's face.

A minute passes, and when Baekhyun looks fairly okay again, Chanyeol says, "Let me feed you again, at least."

"Chanyeol..."

"No, don't even try," Chanyeol cuts Baekhyun off, stopping the boy before he can protest. "You've already hurt yourself enough."

Probably seeing that arguing is pointless, Baekhyun gives up on putting up a fight - much to Chanyeol's relief - and says, "Okay." It's short, but the tone is screaming _I hate it._

"It you rest your body a lot now, you'll get better quicker," Chanyeol tells the boy in order to cheer him up a little.

"Yeah," Baekhyun agrees, but his voice is telling Chanyeol that he thinks otherwise.

"You will be," Chanyeol counters.

 _One day, you will be,_ he thinks, and then reaches for the chopsticks, feeding Baekhyun the first bite.

He will try his best to help Baekhyun get better, even when Baekhyun himself seems like he could care less about his health.

  
  


After Baekhyun is done eating, Chanyeol helps him lie back down, touching the boy carefully to minimalize the possibility of hurting him. The process is long because Chanyeol wants this to be as painless as possible for Baekhyun, and he doesn't hurry up the tiniest despite Baekhyun insisting that it's alright, since Chanyeol knows very well that it isn't true - Baekhyun is just either too stubborn to admit that he's hurt, or he's too careless and acts like this because he doesn't want to burden Chanyeol. Probably the latter.

It's only when Baekhyun is lying on his stomach again, his small body wrapped in blanket, that Chanyeol gets back to his own breakfast. By now, he's gotten pretty hungry, so he digs in immediately, eating quickly and with passion while still keeping an eye on Baekhyun. To Chanyeol's surprise, every single time he chances a glance at the boy, he finds Baekhyun already looking back at him, blue eyes staring deeply into Chanyeol's brown ones. It's not a hostile or an unfriendly gaze, but it's still a pretty intense one, since Baekhyun never even blinks for the whole duration of their eye-contact. However, instead of feeling nervous about Baekhyun staring at him with such a look in his blue orbs, Chanyeol feels... kind of flattered, and maybe that's why he smiles at Baekhyun sweetly every time their eyes meet.

When Baekhyun smiles back at him afterwards, Chanyeol can't stop the warmth that spreads inside of his body.

It's silent again, but neither of them seems to mind, their eye-contacts being enough at this early hour of the day. Baekhyun seems too tired to have an actual conversation anyway, so Chanyeol doesn't try to push and make a small talk, letting Baekhyun rest more and even telling him to go back to sleep if he feels like it. After all, Baekhyun needs to rest a lot - his _body_ needs it. Desperately.

"I don't like sleeping all day," Baekhyun would mumble with a frown every time in a response to Chanyeol telling him to do so.

"You don't really have a choice," Chanyeol would reply with. "I want you to get better, so you need to strain your body _and_ mind as little as possible."

Fortunately, Baekhyun has finally started listening to him. Or at least Chanyeol thinks so, considering two things; first one, they haven't had such an exchange today yet, and second one, Baekhyun has been lying on the bed quietly without protesting for a while now, which is making Chanyeol think that the conversation about _pointless sleeping_ isn't even on the way.

Chanyeol eats his breakfast in just a few short minutes, being so hungry that he doesn't even chew all that much, simply gulping the food down his throat and drinking water afterwards so the big pieces will go down his throat smoothly - or at least, smoother. When he's done, he takes both of the trays and goes to put them on the wooden table by the door so they won't be in the way, returning back to bed and to Baekhyun with the same smile on his lips as always. And as always, Baekhyun returns it, despite there being something akin to sadness in his expression.

"Do you have things to do?" Baekhyun asks.

"Yeah," Chanyeol says as he sits down on the edge of the bed. "Not a lot, but still."

"Can't you ignore them?" is what falls out of Baekhyun's mouth next, and Chanyeol chuckles.

"Not really," Chanyeol shakes his head slightly. "But I can promise you I'll try to do them as quickly as possible so I can get back here, okay?"

"...Okay," Baekhyun agrees reluctantly, clearly not liking that Chanyeol has to leave him alone, but accepting that the soldier has his duties to attend to. "Could you stay a little bit longer, though? Just until I fall asleep?"

Truthfully, Chanyeol is kind of shocked to hear such thing, and despite not wanting to talk about this topic, he can't help but ask, "You wanna go back to sleep? No complaining at all while we're at it?"

"You don't like it, so I won't complain," Baekhyun mumbles, looking away from Chanyeol's eyes as if he was embarrassed, and Chanyeol's heart skips a beat. "So... will you stay?" Overcoming the strong feeling of affection that has made him unable to speak for a while, Chanyeol gulps and nods. However, it proves to be a wrong thing to do, because with Chanyeol not saying anything and only nodding, the boy starts to think that Chanyeol isn't all that happy with the idea of staying. "But if you don't want to, it's okay with me," he quickly adds.

"I want to," Chanyeol says immediately. _Of course I wants to._ "I'll stay." And with that said, Chanyeol takes off his shoes and lies on the bed, relaxing only when he makes sure that Baekhyun is covered completely by the blanket and not one part of his body is out in the cold. "Goodnight."

"What an appropriate thing to say in the morning," Baekhyun says, his dislike for sleeping throughout the day showing clearly. However, before Chanyeol can say _you said you won't complain,_ Baekhyun moves closer, and does something more than unexpected.

Shifting close to Chanyeol despite Chanyeol telling the boy not to move around, Baekhyun makes the space between them disappear, coming so close that their bodies are pressing together before he throws one of his arms over Chanyeol's stomach and rests his head on the soldier's chest. Baekhyun's black locks tingle Chanyeol's face, and while his hand wants to reach out to scratch the place that is desperately calling for it, Chanyeol continues to lie unmovingly, his whole body frozen. _Did Baekhyun just-_

The soldier is unable to finish the silent question, Baekhyun's voice cutting through his thoughts. "Is it too much?" the boy asks in worry, probably feeling how Chanyeol's body has gone tense. Suddenly, Baekhyun's voice is small and unsure, telling Chanyeol that Baekhyun is truly afraid that he has crossed a line.

"N-No," Chanyeol stutters, voice completely different from how it always is. But really, how can he possibly be calm during such a situation? Baekhyun is too close, _lying on top of him_ with an arm around his stomach, and it's driving Chanyeol crazy, and not only because of the shock, but also because he likes this position way too much. "It's fine. All good," he continues in a hope that his voice will sound better now, but in the end it sounds the same.

"Really? Because I can move if-" it's then, when Baekhyun offers to move away again, that Chanyeol's impulses kick in, the soldier's arm circling around Baekhyun's waist from behind and thus forbidding the boy to shift away. As always, he is careful of Baekhyun's injuries and doesn't use too much force as he pulls Baekhyun closer - he uses just enough of it to make it obvious that he really, _definitely_ doesn't mind this position.

"It's really okay."

After this gesture and these words, Baekhyun relaxes once more in Chanyeol's hold, breathing out in relief. Chanyeol didn't even know Baekhyun was holding in his breath, but he guesses he was too busy with dealing with the sudden burst of emotions inside of his chest to notice it. "I'm happy, then," Baekhyun whispers quietly, making himself comfortable on Chanyeol's chest, and Chanyeol feels his heart dancing to the rhythm of happiness upon hearing Baekhyun's content sigh after the boy finds the right position. "Thank you."

 _I'm happy too,_ Chanyeol wants to say, but instead, he decides for, "It's nothing." Holding Baekhyun like this feels all kinds of good, but most of all, it feels serious. If Baekhyun has crossed a line with this, Chanyeol willingly crossed it with him without having zero regrets.

However, when Chanyeol thinks about it more, it isn't actually _crossing a line_ in their case, but more like taking another step on stairs, because if it was a line, then they had crossed it a very, very long time ago.

They took the first step when they became friendly with each other, then took another one when they started to care for each other. Another one when they talked for hours for the first time, another one when they hugged for the first time, another one when they shared secrets in the dead of the night instead of sleeping, and another one when Chanyeol dared to touch Baekhyun's smooth skin with his lips. Then, it all seems as if they started running up the stairs instead of walking at normal pace, taking two at the time when they held hands for the first time and slept in one bed together as well.

So yes, indeed, walking the steps on the stairwell seems way more accurate than crossing a line. And just now, with lying like that and letting their hearts beat in unison with all the affection that's hiding there, it doesn't feel like running two stairs at once, but three, or four. At this point, there's a high possibility of tripping and falling down, and while Chanyeol doesn't know what would it mean in real life, he isn't very keen on finding out either.

For now, he just wants to enjoy. And so, he does just that.

Patting Baekhyun's hair down so it won't tingle his face, Chanyeol lets go of his worries and finds the courage to place a kiss on top of Baekhyun's head, whispering, "Sleep well." into the black locks. When he feels how Baekhyun smiles against his chest, Chanyeol's face lights up and he smiles as well, lips tugged upwards in a grin full of joy.

He is happy. He is so, so happy like this; with Baekhyun in his arms, the two of them closed off from the outside world and living in their own instead.

Chanyeol wishes it'd stay like this forever.

  
  
  
  
  
  


But, of course it can't stay like that forever, which is proven to Chanyeol only ten days later.

Chanyeol knew that Woohyun and Heojoon were to come today, but since they hadn't come at a time they usually would, he thought that maybe they just won't come in the end - he prayed for it to be like that. However, just like so many times before, luck is simply not on his side, and the two soldiers Chanyeol so badly didn't want to see came through the front door a few minutes after dinner, making their way to Baekhyun's room with heavy steps. (Chanyeol has moved Baekhyun back to his room just for today, since he knew that the two were coming, and he wanted to avoid the trouble he would get into if Woohyun and Heojoon saw Baekhyun sleeping in Chanyeol's own bed.)

Instinctively, Chanyeol straightens up as he comes face to face with Woohyun and Heojoon, standing in his full height in front of them and shielding the boy who is lying in the bed behind him from the two. "It's already past your-" Chanyeol starts, but soon, he is cut off.

"We came to make a deal," Woohyun tells him calmly, but there is a dangerous edge to his tone. Chanyeol doesn't like it. He even fears it, to be honest. "We have a proposal."

"I'm not up for this," is what Chanyeol immediately says despite feeling so uneasy.

"You don't have to be, because I'm not talking to you right now," Woohyun smirks and looks past Chanyeol, setting his gaze on Baekhyun instead and pushing Chanyeol aside. "I'm talking to _you,_ " the man says as he squats down in front of the bed, staring at Baekhyun intensely as the boy quickly sits up and shifts away, moving closer to the wall in order to put more distance between him and Woohyun.

"Get away from him," Chanyeol grits his teeth and is ready to get back at Woohyun, but Heojoon - who was momentarily forgotten - stops Chanyeol before he can do anything, coming in-between him and Woohyun.

"You don't need to be involved in this," Woohyun tells Chanyeol without sparing him a glance, the older soldier too focused on Baekhyun whom, Chanyeol notices, is getting quite anxious. "The boy here should make his own choices without you interrupting, or not?"

"What game are you playing?" Chanyeol asks angrily. This doesn't look good at all, and he already feels frustrated by the situation. Both Woohyun and Heojoon are way too calm for Chanyeol's liking - especially Heojoon, and when that man is acting calm, a storm must be coming.

"As I said, we're here to make a deal. But with the pretty thing here, not with you, Chanyeol, so step back." Woohyun's voice is clearly indicating that this is serious, but Chanyeol can't really take his time to think about it because his mind is only filled with two words - _pretty thing._ Woohyun called Baekhyun _a pretty thing._ This isn't good. "So, what do you say, Baekhyun? You wanna talk?" Woohyun asks, and Chanyeol feels sick after hearing such a beautiful name coming out of such disgusting lips.

Baekhyun doesn't say anything in response, his eyes flickering from Woohyun to Chanyeol in panic. The boy even opens his mouth in attempt to say something, anything, but nothing comes out, and so Baekhyun just continues to sit on the bed wordlessly, breathing shallowly in fear.

Seeing Baekhyun like this, Chanyeol wants to take him in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into his ear to calm him down, but he knows it's impossible, and not only because Heojoon is physically holding him back, pushing against Chanyeol's chest every time Chanyeol attempts to step closer to Woohyun.

"I'll take that as a yes. So, the thing is," Woohyun starts, running a hand through his hair. "There are many things going on, and it's pretty stressing, you know? It's getting too much, and there is no way to relax." Woohyun hasn't said a lot yet, but Chanyeol already knows very well where this is going, and he doesn't like it _at all,_ which is clear from the way he attempts to fight off Heojoon when he sees how Woohyun reaches out and runs a finger down Baekhyun's cheek. "But then I thought, we have you." Baekhyun flinches and turns his head to the side, shutting his eyes tightly and gripping the sheets just as tight, but Woohyun doesn't seem to care, not being the least bit sensitive as he continues, "Like I told you before; you are really good-looking, and I'm not the type who can hold back, especially when someone like you comes into view. So, how about you help us out, and we'll help you out in an exchange? As I said, we are quite stressed, and this is a good deal."

"Fucking don't touch him!" Chanyeol raises his voice, finally managing to push Heojoon away. "Stay away from him!"

Before he can get a hold of Woohyun though, Heojoon is back, this time holding both of Chanyeol's arms from behind. "Calm down, will you?" Heojoon sighs. "It's none of your business."

"That's right," Woohyun agrees. "The decision is all up to our pretty doll. The deal is truly good; do us a favor, and you won't get beaten up, doesn't it sound great? We'll let you off the hook easily for once." Forcefully turning Baekhyun's head back to him, Woohyun asks, "So? Do we have to force you or will you comply? If you choose the second option, you'll have it a lot better."

Again, Baekhyun doesn't say anything, but Chanyeol can see how the color drains from the boy's face and how all the hope from Baekhyun's pretty eyes fades away as well along with it. Soon, there are tears in the blue orbs, Baekhyun's eyes glassy and chin trembling, and Chanyeol feels himself going weak upon seeing the boy in such a condition. He wants to stop this, wants to make Woohyun and Heojoon leave right this instant, wants to go up to Baekhyun and give the boy a hug while telling him that everything's fine - but he can't do that, none of that. All Chanyeol can do is watch how Baekhyun's whole body starts trembling and how the first tear of despair rolls down the smooth cheek and falls on the sheets.

It's killing Chanyeol.

"C'mon make your decision already, or I'll do it instead of you," Woohyun says, slapping Baekhyun's cheek slightly, but even that doesn't bring Baekhyun out from his thoughts. "We don't have all day." Another slap follows, this time a little stronger. "Have you gone mute or something?"

"Don't do this," Chanyeol tries weakly, seeing how Baekhyun is so out of it, not being able to get out a word. He wants to scream at the two soldiers instead of talking in such low volume, but another dose of yells wouldn't do the situation any good.

"So you'd be happier if he got beaten up?" Heojoon asks Chanyeol with a chuckle. "We are being good people right now, and yet you two aren't grateful at all."

"Stop acting like idiots, will you?" Chanyeol grits out, turning back to Heojoon after getting out of the man's hold. "What you are doing is too much. You can't-"

"We can do whatever we want," Heojoon interrupts him, that disgusting smile playing on his lips. It's clear that he's enjoying it way too much, probably more ecstatic about the whole situation than about being able to _relieve his stress,_ and the way his eyes sparkle as if there was something great going on makes Chanyeol want to puke - it must be easily detectable on Chanyeol's face as well, but it seems that his expression that is scrunched up in disgust is exactly what Heojoon longed to see today.

"Well, you can't," Chanyeol counters immediately, voice low.

"Watch me."

"I will fucking end you if you-"

Chanyeol is fired up and ready to fight, but he freezes completely upon hearing Baekhyun's quiet voice from behind, the boy whispering out shakily, "Okay." Immediately, Chanyeol's eyes go wide and he spins around in the speed of light, mouth falling open as he looks at Baekhyun in shock.

"So you haven't gone mute after all, that's good to know," Woohyun comments, but for Chanyeol it's just some noise in the distance, since all he can focus on is Baekhyun. Baekhyun, who finally turns his head to the side to make eye-contact with Chanyeol, seemingly not listening to Woohyun either. Baekhyun, who is trembling with fear and there is not a single spark of hope in his pretty eyes. Baekhyun, who has given up on putting up a fight because he knows he'd lose.

Chanyeol shakes his head slightly, screaming silently at Baekhyun not to do this though he himself is aware that there is no helping the boy. He knows all too well, but still, it's impossible for Chanyeol to let go of Baekhyun like that and let Woohyun and Heojoon have their way with him. He can't just abandon Baekhyun.

"Let's have some fun, then, shall we?" with that said, Woohyun grabs Baekhyun by his forearm and makes him get up from the bed, the boy flinching at the contact and almost pulling away from the touch that's anything but gentle. Baekhyun stumbles and almost loses his balance, but Woohyun doesn't seem to care about how ruthless his actions are. "We only have a few minutes, so we should not waste any time."

 _No,_ _I won't let this happen,_ Chanyeol thinks, his heartbeat getting faster and faster every second as he starts panicking. _What can I do to help him? I have to help him somehow. I have to fucking do something._ Thoughts continue swirling in Chanyeol's mind, and he can already feel his hands trembling with the urge to reach out and take the boy in his arms, shield him from the danger. _There has to be something I can do to stop this! I can't_ -

Suddenly, Chanyeol's mind goes blank momentarily, all of his frantic thoughts disappearing into thin air upon feeling a light touch from Baekhyun on his abdomen. No, not a touch - _a push_ is a better word for it. The way Baekhyun's fingers grazed over his stomach when Woohyun was talking to Heojoon and didn't pay attention to them was one thing, but then the way Baekhyun applied pressure and shoved Chanyeol away slightly was another. _Leave it be,_ is the clear message behind the action, and if Chanyeol didn't realize that, the look in Baekhyun's miserable eyes is there to spell it out for him.

Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, attempting to reach out for Baekhyun, but before he can get a single word out or touch Baekhyun, Heojoon walks past him and pushes Baekhyun on the ground mercilessly after Woohyun lets go of the boy's forearm. Baekhyun falls to his knees, and the fall must hurt, but Baekhyun doesn't let out a single sound. Instead, he bites into his lip as he desperately tries to keep the last pieces of himself together, chin trembling and hands clenched in fists so tightly that his knuckles turn white.

"Are you just going to stand there, or...? Do you want to join us, maybe?" Heojoon asks Chanyeol with a chuckle, but Chanyeol is still not listening, at least not really. The young soldier is focused on Baekhyun alone, begging the boy with his intense gaze to give him even the tiniest sign that says that Chanyeol is allowed to do something to stop this, that Chanyeol is given the permission to break that damn promise, but nothing comes, no matter how much Chanyeol wishes for it. Baekhyun won't even look at him, his blue eyes glued to the floor, and Chanyeol is left standing pathetically a meter away from the boy, feeling physical pain inside of his chest upon having to see Baekhyun like that - with no fight left in him anymore, fear and anguish replacing all the hope.

"No way. He can be with the boy whenever he wants to - it's us who have limited time, so he'll have to wait for his turn," Woohyun says, cracking his neck as he sits down on the bed and makes himself comfortable. "It's my time to enjoy those pretty lips now."

Chanyeol feels anger in every single blood cell inside of his body, and he wants to punch Woohyun so badly for saying such things, but he doesn't. He knows Baekhyun wouldn't forgive him for breaking the promise, especially not after the boy made Chanyeol swear on the very same thing every night before they went to sleep these past days to make sure it's drilled into Chanyeol's head. Always, Chanyeol asked if Baekhyun is really sure about this, but every time he got the same two answers in reply; first one, _you've protected me enough, and now it's my turn,_ and second one, _It's my decision, so please respect it. That's all I ask of you._

So Chanyeol did. He respected Baekhyun's wishes, and even though he had to see the person he likes so much getting tortured mercilessly, he didn't step in. Instead, he watched as Baekhyun got whipped in front of him and listened to the boy's pained screams and ugly cries for hours. He almost went as far as hitting Baekhyun himself but then decided that no promise can make him hurt Baekhyun, ever - he would kill himself before he would cause Baekhyun any harm.

Chanyeol finds himself regretting giving Baekhyun that stupid promise, just like he regretted it last week. Yes, it might have made Baekhyun happy when Chanyeol gave him his word, but the pretty smile Baekhyun had on his lips after Chanyeol had sworn not to step in anymore is slowly becoming just a faint memory that slowly fades away from Chanyeol's mind more and more every time he sees boy's tear-streaked face. Sometimes, he even wonders if Baekhyun himself hasn't regretted making Chanyeol promise at least once at some point, given how much suffering he has to go through - after all, the only thing keeping Chanyeol away from putting a stop to this is that damn promise, and Baekhyun is surely aware of it too. It would take just one word from Baekhyun, one small sign, and Chanyeol would throw Heojoon and Woohyun out without hesitation, but Baekhyun gives him nothing.

 _I don't want you to get in trouble,_ Baekhyun would always say as they lied together in the bed. _You wouldn't stop anything anyway, not really. You would just postpone it, and who knows if what comes later wouldn't be even worse?_

Yes, it makes sense, Chanyeol knows it does, but still... how can one just stand by and watch the person they treasure so much get hurt? It's impossible. And yet, there is nothing else Chanyeol can do.

"Don't just sit there. Be useful," Heojoon says as he sits down on the bed as well, pulling Baekhyun forward by the boy's sweater. Baekhyun lets himself be dragged closer to the two soldiers, but his gaze remains glued to the floor as if he was afraid to look up, and Chanyeol wouldn't be surprised at all if that was truly the case. He would be too scared to look up too if he were in Baekhyun's shoes.

"Come on, look at me," Woohyun requests, reaching out and cupping Baekhyun's cheek, thumb caressing Baekhyun's cheekbone. Baekhyun flinches at the touch, instinctively pulling away a little, but Woohyun doesn't let him, and after seeing how Baekhyun tried to get away, he moves his hand and tangles it into the boy's black hair instead, gripping the locks and forcefully making Baekhyun look up. It's then that Chanyeol finally sees Baekhyun's face clearly, and he feels like his heart has been ripped out of his chest upon the sight of Baekhyun's gassy eyes and wet cheeks. He has seen Baekhyun like this so many times, and yet, he can't get used to it. "Such a beautiful face," Woohyun comments and then leans in, tilting the boy's head to the side and running his lips down the expanse of Baekhyun's neck before placing a kiss there, glancing at Chanyeol afterwards to see the his reaction. When their eyes meet, Woohyun smirks and whispers against Baekhyun's skin, loud enough for Chanyeol to hear it too, "I'd like to see if the rest of you is just as nice, pretty boy."

Chanyeol's fists clench and his expression darkens immediately, but it seems that that's exactly what Woohyun wanted, because the soldier laughs before pulling away again and letting go of Baekhyun's hair, licking his lips as if savoring the taste of Baekhyun's skin. Chanyeol is more than disgusted, truly, and he is sure that the look in his eyes is saying that clearly, just like his expression. He wants to go to Woohyun and punch him so strongly that the man's jaw would fall off - and then do the same to Heojoon - but all he can do is stand there helplessly while having to watch how Baekhyun continues to tremble and cry silently, clearly not enjoying the physical contact at all.

"Maybe next time, though," Woohyun says, breaking the eye-contact with Chanyeol and looking back at Baekhyun who is staring at the ground again, tears slowly falling down his cheeks. "We don't have time for that today." With that said, he starts working on his pants, and while the sound of buttons being undone is normally almost inaudible, it is more than loud in Chanyeol's ears now. It even echoes in the room, the same way Heojoon's snigger does, the same way Woohyun's nasty remarks do too, and Chanyeol wonders if the mix of all the noise hasn't already hurt Baekhyun's ears, since Baekhyun must hear it all thousands times more intensely than Chanyeol.

"You wanna watch, Park?" Heojoon asks with a lazy smirk. "Does seeing your slut do it for someone else turn you on?"

"Shut up," Chanyeol grits out, not in the mood to listen to Heojoon's stupid comments right now.

There are so many wrong things with what Heojoon has just said, but Chanyeol can't be bothered enough to correct them, especially since the very next second the words get stuck in his throat upon seeing how Woohyun lowers his undone pants along with his underwear and looks at Baekhyun with those lustful eyes, taking his cock in his hand and saying, "Well, go ahead." But Baekhyun doesn't move at all, not even by a millimeter, and that seems to anger Woohyun, because after five seconds of Baekhyun staying completely frozen in the same position, the soldier frowns and takes a hold of Baekhyun's hair again, tugging at them ruthlessly in order to pull Baekhyun closer. "Do your job if you don't want to anger me. You wouldn't like it if I got frustrated with you." Although Baekhyun is warned, he still doesn't start doing what he's supposed to, and so Woohyun sighs impatiently and orders, "Open up and suck." When even this doesn't work, Woohyun's patience runs out, and the man presses the tip of his cock against Baekhyun's lips, whispering dangerously, "I've already warned you once, and now I'm warning you again. Don't you dare make me repeat myself or you'll regret it."

"You're too nice to him," Heojoon rolls his eyes. "He's a stubborn little bitch - if you're nice to him, you won't get anywhere."

"Don't worry," Woohyun tells his friend while looking intensely at Baekhyun, unable to take his eyes off the boy. "I'm sure he'll come to his senses soon enough. After all, he knows that he will have to do it anyway - it only depends on his behavior if it happens after a beating or without it," the man says, pulling at Baekhyun's hair more. "Right?" he asks then, this time the question being directed at Baekhyun whose lips are still pressed into a thin line, the boy not being able to bring himself to open up and let Woohyun use him this way despite reluctantly agreeing to it a minute ago.

For Chanyeol, this is a sign he needed so desperately in order to break the promise, and although Baekhyun is just fighting with himself instead of attempting to get Chanyeol's help, the young soldier interprets it his way, his judgement swayed by his own emotions. "Let him go," Chanyeol says sternly, his voice laced with rage. "He doesn't want to do it."

"It's not about what he wants, Park. He doesn't have a say in this," Heojoon reminds him, giving Chanyeol a pointed look before adding, "And you don't have a say in this either, in case you're wondering."

"I think I do," Chanyeol counters, straightening up and glaring at Heojoon. It's a clear indication of not being afraid to fight if it were to come down to it, and Heojoon picks up on it very quickly, frowning when he realizes that Chanyeol isn't going to back down.

"Should I beat some sense into you, then?" Heojoon asks, standing up from the bed quickly with his hand balled in a fist. He is ready to say something else to Chanyeol as well, but the moment Heojoon opens his mouth again, a loud moan pierces through the room and interrupts him before he can get any words out. The sound makes both Chanyeol and Heojoon turn their heads to Woohyun, and while Heojoon smirks upon the sight of Woohyun with his head thrown back and eyes closed, Chanyeol feels like throwing up for real. Laughing, Heojoon sits down on the bed again, saying, "Looks like your boy toy has finally decided to start being useful, Park."

Chanyeol can't watch. All it takes for him to turn away in disgust is one glance at Baekhyun whose mouth is around Woohyun's cock, the boy's eyes shut tightly as he pleasures the soldier. Woohyun seems to be enjoying himself quite a lot, but Baekhyun looks like he would rather die than do this, and Chanyeol simply can't stand it. Seeing a person who's so pure and innocent having to do this makes Chanyeol want to cry, especially since that person is Baekhyun - _his_ Baekhyun - and the boy definitely doesn't deserve to be forced into something as horrible as this.

Running a hand through his hair in frustration, Chanyeol feels his eyes stinging with tears. Although he doesn't have to watch the scene when he's facing the wall, the awful sounds that Woohyun lets out through his lips are still making him feel incredibly sick, and he can't even begin to imagine how Baekhyun must feel, having it so much worse. Chanyeol feels extremely sorry for the boy, and it's breaking his heart that Baekhyun has to do such a nasty thing if he doesn't want to get beaten up. It's just... so damn unfair. Everything about it.

 _I'm so sorry,_ repeats in Chanyeol's mind over and over again as he tries to keep the urge to cry in bay, but it's hard to resist the tears when his whole body is physically hurting because of the mental pain. He wants to save Baekhyun so badly, wants to get him out of here and take him somewhere where it's safe, but all Chanyeol can do is wait until it's all over and then comfort Baekhyun to his best abilities afterwards, hoping that the boy won't break completely after such an experience. After all, Baekhyun has been holding on for a long time now, and Chanyeol is extremely afraid that this might be the last hit Baekhyun is able to take before falling apart.

Chanyeol remembers how was Baekhyun two months ago, when they brought him here - scared out of his life, but there was still so much fight left in him, hopeful blue eyes shining brightly when Chanyeol looked into them. Sadly, despite having an exceptionally strong personality and positivity engraved in his heart, the spark in Baekhyun's eyes had slowly but surely started to fade away as days passed, and of course, Chanyeol noticed after some time - such a big change couldn't have been overlooked, after all, even when him and Baekhyun weren't _that_ close at that time yet. It was simply too noticeable.

However, although the spark started to disappear, it has never left Baekhyun's eyes completely, still present to make Baekhyun's orbs shine at least a little bit brighter in the dark world they lived in, and Chanyeol thinks that the reason why Baekhyun was still the tiniest bit hopeful despite everything may have been because they became rather close, the boy suddenly having a person he could trust in this horrible place. Having someone to lean on when he was at his worst; it must have made Baekhyun feel like maybe it's not as bad as it looks.

But now, when he's doing something as unimaginable as pleasuring the men who have done nothing but hurt him because he has no other choice, Chanyeol wonders if Baekhyun can still stay positive, or if Heojoon and Woohyun managed to break him down completely this time, tearing down his walls and stealing away the last piece of hope Baekhyun has protected so desperately, knowing that without it, he would be lost.

"Hey, Chanyeol," Woohyun calls out to Chanyeol a little breathlessly, and Chanyeol swears that the man's voice alone is making him want to punch the wall. "Does he always give you such a sloppy blow job or is he like this only with me?" asks Woohyun bitterly.

"You think you deserve a special treatment of some kind?" _you asshole,_ is left unsaid, but Chanyeol is sure that Woohyun feels the insult hanging in the air anyway.

"It feels as if he was giving a head for the first time in his life, that's why I'm asking. He's lucky he's pretty or else I wouldn't even get hard," both Woohyun and Heojoon laugh, but Chanyeol doesn't think of it as funny in the slightest, and as the two soldiers continue to joke around, Chanyeol's disgust only grows stronger, along with the intense hatred. "No but really, Chanyeol. If this is how he blows you, I can totally understand why you're so bitter all the time. I would be too," Woohyun continues to make fun of Baekhyun, and Chanyeol can already feel his nails digging holes into his palms after having his hands balled in fists for minutes now. "But since I'm a good person, I'll do you a favor and teach him how to do it properly."

The next thing Chanyeol hears is a short yelp and then a gagging noise. Immediately, he turns around in panic, and his eyes go wide upon seeing Woohyun gripping Baekhyun's hair tightly and forcing the boy to take all of his cock when Baekhyun is clearly not being able to do that, the poor thing already choking and pushing against Woohyun's thighs with his hands in order to get away. Suddenly, at such a sight, Chanyeol's restraints disappear in one millisecond, the young soldier yelling, "The fuck do you think you're doing?!" before coming up to them and pulling Baekhyun away. He knows he shouldn't be stepping in because he's breaking the promise he gave to Baekhyun with this, but Chanyeol couldn't stop his legs from moving, just like he couldn't stop the words from escaping his mouth. It was just too much.

When Baekhyun is freed, he starts coughing right away, trying to catch his breath desperately. Chanyeol squats down next to Baekhyun and gives him advice on how to get oxygen into his lungs as fast as possible, but the boy doesn't seem to be listening, and instead, he only continues to cough before exhaling shakily just to cough once again.

"What the fuck do _you_ think you're doing?" Woohyun asks loudly enough to be heard through Baekhyun's violent coughing. "You should be thanking me for taking the time to teach the brat how to give a head, and yet you are here being ungrateful instead."

"He couldn't breathe, you idiot," Chanyeol grits out, touching Baekhyun's arm gently when Baekhyun's coughing starts ceasing, the boy now only breathing heavily as he falls on the ground, his arms not doing the job of holding him up anymore.

"A good slut is supposed to be choking on a cock," is all Woohyun says to explain his behavior, laughing at it along with Heojoon, and Chanyeol almost punches the asshole, but then decides to just focus on Baekhyun instead, knowing that Baekhyun wouldn't be happy if Chanyeol picked up a fight with either of the two soldiers.

"Are you alright?" Chanyeol asks as he slowly helps Baekhyun up to a sitting position, holding the boy by the arms as he stares into his glassy, blue eyes intensely. Baekhyun dodges Chanyeol's gaze the first time, but when Chanyeol repeats the same questions once more, voice laced with endless worry, Baekhyun gives up on resistance and looks at Chanyeol from under his lashes before nodding slightly.

"I'm fine," Baekhyun whispers almost inaudibly before he closes his eyes, still trying to catch his breath. Chanyeol holds him through it, rubbing small circles into Baekhyun's arms to calm him down faster, and his body is hit with another wave of hurt when he sees a tear falling out from under Baekhyun's closed eyelids and sliding down his already wet cheeks. Instinctively, Chanyeol reaches out, wanting to wipe it away, but before he can do that, Baekhyun pulls away and does it himself. _Don't_ , he mouths, and then says out loud, "It's alright."

"Baek-"

"So, are you two done?" Heojoon asks, tone bored. "You're wasting our time."

Chanyeol frowns and looks past Baekhyun in order to glare at Heojoon. "It's the two of you who are done here," Chanyeol tells them both with a dangerous tone, making it clear that this isn't up for discussion. "You're getting out of here right now."

"The fuck?!" Woohyun is the first one to react, mirroring Chanyeol's frown. "You think you can throw us out? We can do whatever we want with him, you can't simply kick us out. And besides, it was his decision to do this so you should fuck off."

"I can do it, and I'm doing it right now. You shouldn't even be here at this time of the day, anyway," he argues, not backing down.

"Chanyeol, don't," Baekhyun whispers, panic lacing his voice. The boy tries to stop Chanyeol from saying more, not wanting him to get in trouble, but Chanyeol doesn't listen at all, standing up and shielding Baekhyun with his body.

"We're not going anywhere," Heojoon joins in, standing up as well and getting into Chanyeol's face. "Hand him over, _now_."

"Not a chance," Chanyeol shakes his head. He wants to scream so badly, but instead, he keeps the volume on normal and adds more hostility and finality to his tone, knowing that he'll come off as more serious than if he was yelling around like an idiot.

"The general wouldn't be too glad if he knew you are opposing us again when we just do our job," the older man says. "Especially when everyone is looking for the traitor and you're out there being so suspicious."

"The general also wouldn't be too glad if he knew that while everyone is doing what they are supposed to do, you two came here only to get a blow job from the prisoner. Are you even allowed to be here after dinner?" Chanyeol asks. Truth be told, he doesn't know if Heojoon and Woohyun can come after dinner too or not, but he has just a handful of arguments that are usable and why not try this as well when there's nothing to lose? Besides, judging by Heojoon's expression that changes from angry to shocked, Chanyeol guesses that his gamble was worth it.

When Heojoon is quiet for a longer time, Woohyun decides to take over. "What do you think will be worse? Us coming here late or you protecting the prisoner?" he asks, but there is no need to reply to the question, since everyone in the room already knows what would the answer be. "Just shut up and step aside. I need him to finish it," saying that, Woohyun averts his gaze from Chanyeol and looks at Baekhyun instead, the boy still sitting on the cold ground, hidden behind Chanyeol's legs. "It was just getting good, it'd be a pity if-"

"Out," Chanyeol doesn't even let Woohyun finish the sentence, knowing that what was about to fall out of the man's mouth was just another nasty remark Baekhyun wouldn't want to hear - as if there wasn't enough of those disgusting comments for today already.

After Chanyeol interrupts Woohyun without hesitation, all of the humor Woohyun possessed before seems to disappear as he realizes that Chanyeol is dead serious about them having to leave, not playing around or just saying things anymore. And so, looking back at the young soldier and leaving Baekhyun be, Woohyun turns serious too, telling Chanyeol with certainty, "You _can't_ throw us out."

"But I will," is Chanyeol's response. "If I have to, I'll use force too."

"Chanyeol, _please_ ," Baekhyun begs, hitting Chanyeol's leg slightly to make him stop. It has gotten out of hand, and nothing good will come out of this.

"Have you truly lost your mind?" Woohyun asks, shaking his head at Chanyeol. "What do you think you're doing, for real?" he continues as he stands up, pulling up his underwear and his pants before walking closer to Chanyeol, pushing Heojoon aside slightly in the process. "You think that if you throw us out, we won't come back? Because if you do, then you're stupid," Woohyun spits the words into Chanyeol's face. "We will come back again, and I'll make the slut do much more than sucking me off."

"Don't call him that," is all Chanyeol says to Woohyun, triggered by the insult that's directed at Baekhyun. Now his emotions are starting to get the best of him, and while he should be listening to everything Woohyun is saying and think about it carefully, Chanyeol can't seem to do that, the voices in his head that are screaming _save Baekhyun, kick them out_ being louder than Woohyun's voice.

"That's all you gotta say? You've really gone crazy."

"Just fucking go," Chanyeol tells them, not wanting to argue further, only wanting Baekhyun to be safe again.

Both Woohyun and Heojoon stay quiet for a while after this, only glaring at Chanyeol in silence. Chanyeol glares back just as intensely, not even blinking because it would feel like he lost - as childishly as it sounds - and it feels like forever before Woohyun finally, finally speaks out. "Okay," he says, surprising Chanyeol. However, the young soldier knows better than to be happy just yet, being aware from experience that Woohyun's agreement does not always mean a good thing. There is always more to come, and as Chanyeol sees Woohyun opening his mouth again, he knows this time isn't any different. "We'll leave at this very moment, but the next time we're here, we won't go easy on him. After last time you must know that I'm not joking," Woohyun says, and Chanyeol involuntary remembers the day Baekhyun got whipped, the boy lying unmoving on the ground in the puddle of his own blood by the end of it. "Either we stay and leave after the pretty boy makes us happy, or we'll leave now but he'll go through hell next time. It's your choice."

Chanyeol hears his rapid heartbeat in his own ears after his brain processes this, and his legs feel like they are going to give out any second now. There is a lump in his throat and while it usually keeps Chanyeol from talking, now it's more like it keeps him from breathing too, Chanyeol feeling like he's choking as he stares into Woohyun's unwavering eyes. The words _it's your choice_ are going on loop in Chanyeol's mind, and if it was possible, his head would most likely explode because of all the thoughts in there already.

Chanyeol has already broken his promise, but making a choice like this for Baekhyun? It's too much. Baekhyun is his own person and he should have the right to decide for himself what he wants to do in such a bad situation - it shouldn't be Chanyeol who makes the choice for him. However, the soldier knows that if it was up to Baekhyun, he would choose them to stay and Chanyeol can't let that happen. He just... can't. Baekhyun shouldn't be forced to do such nasty things.

"So? Suddenly you're not so sure about it?" Heojoon provokes, but he's right. As the man said, Chanyeol suddenly isn't so sure about this. The last time he had stepped in and forced them to leave, it gave Baekhyun the scars on his back that still aren't healed, and Woohyun had said the same words to him then - or at least, words that had had the same meaning, which was _we'll leave him for now, but it'll be worse afterwards._ In a way, Chanyeol was the one who was partly responsible for Baekhyun's whipping, but now he would be fully responsible for it, since the choice is his and not Baekhyun's. "I'll take him back, then," Heojoon says and attempts to walk past Chanyeol to grab Baekhyun, but immediately, Chanyeol steps to the side and slaps the man's hand away.

"No," Chanyeol growls, his violent side taking over him at the thought of Heojoon as much as touching Baekhyun. "You stay away."

However, it's a second later that Chanyeol realizes that the _no_ he let slip through his lips wasn't only directed at Heojoon - it was also directed at his own thoughts.

 _No,_ Chanyeol wasn't the one responsible for Baekhyun's scars, because the two assholes would definitely do something so merciless anyway, even if he hadn't stepped in before. If not a week ago, then they'd do it later, but Baekhyun's back would still end up getting injured either way. _It wasn't my fault,_ Chanyeol thinks. Or maybe, he just desperately wants to think so, persuade himself into believing that the scars on Baekhyun's back are not there because of him.

Was Baekhyun hurt so much because Chanyeol had stepped in at that time, or would it have happened anyway? Will Baekhyun be hurt again in the future because of Chanyeol stepping in now, or would it happen anyway? With Woohyun and Heojoon, Chanyeol can never know.

One thing he knows though is that now, in this very moment, he has to save Baekhyun. Maybe it'll bring Baekhyun more pain, maybe it'll not, but as of now, Chanyeol can't let them continue.

"Go," he tells the two older soldiers, and there is already one part of him that regrets the choice. Immediately, the doubts that his decision has brought flood his mind, and suddenly there are even more thoughts in Chanyeol's head than before, voices screaming at him all kinds of questions and accusations.

_You broke the promise and now this?_

_Don't you feel shitty, making a choice for him like that? You shouldn't have._

__What if Baekhyun is angry with you because of it now?_ _

__What if Baekhyun never speaks to you again?_ _

__You should have let them stay, maybe it wouldn't be that bad next time._ _

But luckily, not all the things the voices in his mind say to him are bad. Some of them are positive as well, making Chanyeol just the tiniest bit sure of his decision.

**_You did good. You saved him for now._ **

**_Bad things are going to happen anyway, even if you didn't step in._ **

**_Baekhyun is smart, he'll understand._ **

**_You're not doing anything wrong, you're just trying to protect him._ **

"Is that so? Are you sure?" Woohyun asks. "You know how angry I'll be if I leave with blue balls now."

_Let them stay._

**_Kick them out._ **

_You still have the chance to back off._

**_Don't be swayed, you've made the choice already._ **

_It's not even your choice to make. You-_

"Yes, go," Chanyeol says once again, the urge to protect Baekhyun stronger than his worries about the next encounter with the two. He knows he might be doing the wrong thing, but he also knows that whatever the choice, he would still not be hundred percent sure of it in this situation. However, Chanyeol has a feeling that if he let the two assholes stay instead of throwing them out, the guilt and the doubt that have settled in his heart would be more intense. Maybe not by much, but definitely by at least a tiniest bit.

"Fine," Woohyun nods, accepting Chanyeol's decision. "But remember that it was your decision." They both turn to leave, Heojoon more reluctant to go away just like that despite Woohyun being the one who has a hard-on hidden in his pants. "Oh, and-" Woohyun turns around once more before they turn the corner, making eye-contact with Baekhyun as he says, "-I'm already looking forward to see you again, Baekhyunnie. We'll have such a fun time together."

And then Woohyun and Heojoon are gone, the sound of fading-away footsteps followed shortly by the front door being shut loudly. It's only him and Baekhyun again, alone in the whole building, and it's in that moment of complete silence that it all downs on Chanyeol; _I truly threw them out,_ he realizes, and it's making him as nervous as it makes him happy.

How does Baekhyun feel about it, though?

Chanyeol turns around to find out for himself, already ready to apologize for breaking the promise _and_ for making the decision for Baekhyun, but before he can get any words out, Baekhyun stands up from the ground on shaky legs and runs out of the room. "Baekhyun!" Chanyeol calls out before he breaks into a run too, following Baekhyun. _Fuck, I've screwed up,_ Chanyeol thinks as he runs, turning left into the hall and then right into the bathroom. _He must be angry._

When Chanyeol steps into the bathroom, he sees Baekhyun bent over the toilet, the boy throwing up as he clings to the toilet rim for support, knuckles turning white from how tight he's holding on. Chanyeol freezes on the doorstep for a few seconds, staring at Baekhyun with pity in his eyes upon seeing how Baekhyun trembles on the floor, tears that wet his cheeks glistening in the dim lightening that the two bulbs on the ceiling provide. "Baekhyun.." Chanyeol whispers sadly, taking a careful step toward the boy, and then another one and another one until he's standing just a meter away from him, fists clenched and heart hurting. Not knowing what to say, not knowing if Baekhyun will even listen to him - much less in this state - Chanyeol just stands there, hovering over Baekhyun and waiting until the boy is done puking.

It takes maybe five minutes for Baekhyun to let go of the toilet, and immediately, when Baekhyun starts standing up, Chanyeol pulls out a tissue from his pocket and hands it to the boy warily. Baekhyun takes it, but doesn't look Chanyeol in the eyes, going straight to the sink and washing his mouth after wiping it. It feels like Baekhyun is avoiding looking at him and Chanyeol begins to think that Baekhyun might really be angry for what happened - before, he thought so out of panic, but now he thinks so because of how Baekhyun continues to stare at the ground, even taking a step away from Chanyeol.

Maybe it's the right time to apologize-

"Why did you do that?" Baekhyun asks before Chanyeol can get the apology out. "You shouldn't have done that. You _promised_ me."

"I know," Chanyeol replies, guilt clear in his voice. "I know, and I'm sorry. I broke the promise, and I apologize, sincerely. Just like I apologize for making that choice." When Baekhyun doesn't say anything, only letting out a long exhale but keeping quiet, Chanyeol decides to continue, "Please don't be angry at me. I know I did something wrong, but I couldn't just stand there and watch."

"You should have," Baekhyun mumbles before going back to the sink and washing his mouth again, still avoiding Chanyeol's eyes like a plague.

"I _couldn't_ ," Chanyeol repeats, putting emphasis on the word to make Baekhyun understand. "They were hurting you, Baekhyun. It was impossible for me to-"

Stopping the water, Baekhyun raises his voice as he says, "They always hurt me!" Chanyeol is honestly surprised to hear Baekhyun yell - or more like half-yell, but still - and his eyes go wide at the volume of Baekhyun's tone. It's exactly then, when Chanyeol's eyes widen, that Baekhyun realizes he has raised his voice involuntary, and when the boy speaks next time, it's quieter again. "They _always_ hurt me," Baekhyun repeats, his voice breaking on the last word. "And you know that, as well as me. They aren't here to have a chat. And that's why I have made you promise; because I wanted to stop you from foolishly trying to save me from the inevitable."

"You know what's foolish?" Chanyeol asks, frowning. "Your stupid bravery."

"No, _your_ stupid bravery," Baekhyun corrects Chanyeol, folding the tissue and wiping the water away from his mouth with the clean side. Chanyeol notices that Baekhyun's hand was shaky as he did that, and it makes the soldier realize that Baekhyun is still trembling, his body not calmed down yet. "Why would you throw them out? They are going to come back anyway, and they will do the same thing again. You just made them angry, what was it good for?"

"Should I have let them stay, then?" Chanyeol questions, stepping closer to Baekhyun, but the boy immediately jumps back, putting distance between them again. Not liking it, Chanyeol takes another step toward Baekhyun, but the same thing happens again. Frustrated, Chanyeol gives Baekhyun another question, "They wanted to use you, so should I have let them have their way with you?"

"No!" Baekhyun cries out. "Yes!... Maybe, I don't know, okay?" Saying that, clearly confused with what he himself wants, Baekhyun's legs give out and he falls to the ground, covering his face with his hands and letting out a sob. "I don't know," the boy whispers brokenly as he starts crying on the floor, and Chanyeol feels his heart being squeezed painfully at the sight. Again, it's like his chest was impaled, and Chanyeol truly hates it.

"Baekhyun..." Suddenly, all the frustration seems to leave Chanyeol all at once, the man sighing and squatting down after coming closer to Baekhyun. This time, the boy doesn't move away, but Chanyeol guesses he would if he had enough strength to do so.

"You shouldn't have stepped in. You shouldn't have broken the promise." Baekhyun sobs again, curling to himself and hiding his head in his knees. Like this, he looks even smaller than he actually is, and Chanyeol would maybe find it cute if it was in a different situation - now, it only brings him pain to see Baekhyun like this. "You'll get in trouble now. Was it worth it?" Baekhyun asks, but doesn't give Chanyeol the time to answer, quickly adding, "It was such a stupid thing to do."

"I couldn't let them continue," Chanyeol only says. He wants to reach out and touch Baekhyun, maybe even hold his hand or hug the boy, but he decides against it. For now, he should not touch Baekhyun, since Baekhyun wouldn't like it for sure. "I'm sorry for breaking the promise, I really am. I know it was important for you, but- Baekhyun there was no way I could have just let them hurt you like this."

"It's not an excuse," Baekhyun tells him stubbornly.

"But it is," Chanyeol insists.

"Not thinking before doing something careless isn't an excuse." Shaking his head, Baekhyun sniffles and completely refuses Chanyeol's arguments. "You acted on a whim," he accuses Chanyeol, taking a breath slowly to calm himself down. "You shouldn't have had. You can't do something stupid just because you feel like it and use it as an excuse afterwards. It doesn't work like that..."

"So maybe it doesn't, you're right," Chanyeol admits. "It's true that I acted on a whim and broke the promise because of not being able to control my emotions, and it might not be an excuse, but can you really blame me for doing it?" the soldier asks, and after thinking about it a little, he decides to move closer to Baekhyun again. He shifts to the boy slowly, not wanting to startle him, and he is glad when Baekhyun stays put even after noticing that Chanyeol has gotten closer. "Can you really blame me for wanting to protect you so badly that I forgot to think about the consequences?" Baekhyun stays silent, and so Chanyeol continues. "Standing there and not being able to help you last time was horrible, but today it felt even worse. I actually applaud myself for being able to hold back for so long, because Baekhyun, believe me when I say it was very difficult. Seeing them do such horrible things to you every time they come... It was making me want to die, and I couldn't just stand by and watch anymore."

"You've never just stood by; you have always been there for me, from the very first moment," Baekhyun says, finally uncovering his face and wiping away the tears. The boy's whole face is red, but as Chanyeol looks at him, he can't help but think that Baekhyun is still as beautiful as ever, even with the runny nose and tired, glassy eyes. Suddenly, Chanyeol remembers that the first time he has seen Baekhyun he thought of him as a fallen angel, and he can't help but think the same thing now - Baekhyun is an ethereal, graceful being, but so broken that it hurts the soldier's eyes to look at him. "You are the reason I'm still alive, and the only way I could repay you was keeping you out of trouble, which was why I made you swear-"

"That's not gonna work," Chanyeol chuckles sadly. "That's not gonna work because I can't just not care about you anymore. I will always want to protect you, and I get that you wanted to keep me out of trouble and protect me, but Baekhyun-" making a pause, Chanyeol finally reaches out and touches Baekhyun's wrist gently before sliding lower to get a hold of Baekhyun's hand and intertwining their fingers. Baekhyun's hand is wet from tears, but Chanyeol doesn't care, not loosening his hold at all. "I want to protect you as well, that's why I did this today. It might have been reckless, and I might have acted upon my feelings, but sometimes, you can't really have an actual reason that would excuse your actions, you know? Sometimes, your emotions are so strong that you just _can't_ listen to your brain that's telling you not to do this and that, and this is what happened today."

"...But you'll get in trouble," is all Baekhyun says to Chanyeol's quite lengthy explanation. "Again, you'll get in trouble because of me."

"Maybe," Chanyeol decides to be honest with Baekhyun. "But I don't regret that I stepped in."

"You say that now, but you'll change your opinion later. You of all people should know that you can get hurt like that. And I- I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Imagine being in my shoes then and having to see you in pain ninety-nine percent of time," Chanyeol tells Baekhyun. "From day one until now, I had to see you get beaten up until you have lost consciousness. And as time went, I had to see even worse things being done to you. So after all this, do you really blame me for not being able to keep that promise? Wouldn't you do the same?" Baekhyun is silent again, and for Chanyeol, that's a very obvious answer. "See? I can't just not do anything. It's impossible."

"Aren't you worried about yourself?" Baekhyun asks. "You're playing with fire."

"I'm worried about you, and what would happen to you if they took me away. That's all I'm worried about, Baekhyun." Baekhyun's eyes widen, and Chanyeol can see the pure surprise in the blue orbs. _Really, such a nice color,_ he thinks. _Ocean blue, making me want to dive into them._ "You are my priority." It's such a huge thing to say, but Chanyeol somehow forgets to be nervous about it despite knowing very well that he's basically confessing his feelings to Baekhyun at this point.

Baekhyun stares at him for a while without a word, but then, "How can you say that?" Turning away his head, the boy shakes off Chanyeol's hand as well. "How can you- just- why-" not being able to say a coherent sentence, Baekhyun gets frustrated and runs a hand through his black hair that are completely messed up from how both Woohyun and Heojoon were always tugging at them. "You can't be serious," Baekhyun says in the end.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm-" Baekhyun stops himself for a moment, and again, new dose of tears comes to water his eyes. "I'm disgusting."

"...What?" Chanyeol blinks in surprise, not expecting such a thing to come out of Baekhyun's mouth. He expected a rejection maybe, but definitely not this.

"I'm disgusting," Baekhyun repeats, clearer this time as he folds his hands together. His chin starts to tremble again, and Chanyeol feels like crying too upon seeing Baekhyun ready to cry again. "I'm dirty, and damaged, and you shouldn't think about me like that. You shouldn't think about me at all, especially not after today."

"You are not any of those things, Baek-"

"I've done something so horrible today, so how can you even look at me? I wouldn't want to look at myself in the mirror, so how can you do that? Even touch me... How are you not feeling disgusted?" Baekhyun questions, and once more, his small body starts to tremble slightly as the first tear rolls down his cheek. "I'm so not worth anything you are giving me, or want to give me."

Maybe it's because of Baekhyun's degrading words, maybe it's because of Chanyeol's feelings going on rampage today, or maybe it's both combined, plus the fact that Chanyeol has dreamed of doing this for too many days now; Chanyeol isn't sure, however, as he leans in and throws all of his worries away, cupping Baekhyun's cheeks and pressing their lips together, the soldier doesn't really care about the reason behind his actions; he just cares about how soft Baekhyun's lips feel against his, and how he has to savor it in case it's the last time he can ever do that.

Chanyeol is enjoying himself, despite being aware that just a few minutes ago Baekhyun had those very lips around someone's manhood and also being aware that the boy threw up not so long ago as well. Somehow though, none of it matters to Chanyeol, because for him, at this very moment, kissing Baekhyun feels like getting a taste of heaven he has longed for for so long. It's simply... magical, an emotion that's completely foreign and out of this world, and Chanyeol's body is all tingly as he pulls away a few seconds later, looking into Baekhyun's blue orbs. Never in his life has he felt so good after kissing someone. "I could never be disgusted with you, angel," Chanyeol whispers against Baekhyun's lips, resting his forehead against Baekhyun's. "You're not dirty, and I forbid you to think that you are not worth it. You deserve the world, the galaxies, the universe, everything that's out there, because you are _so special_ , Baekhyun. You are simply amazing, and smart, and brave, and strong, and..." Chanyeol pauses, but not because he's nervous or hesitating - he's everything but nervous, really. He only wants to take a deep breath before saying the thing he's been dying to say for such a long time now, "And I just like you, so, so much."

This time, it's Baekhyun who leans in and kisses him, and Chanyeol's heart beats in love and affection as their lips move slow in a perfect sync against each other. By the way Baekhyun is kissing him it's clear that he hasn't kissed many people in his life, but Chanyeol doesn't mind at all, enjoying it to the fullest although Baekhyun is so clearly inexperienced. However, the emotion that is present in the kiss and the eagerness Baekhyun puts into it is enough for Chanyeol to go crazy, the soldier feeling zero need for Baekhyun to be some kind of a professional in this. This is truly more than enough. It's perfect.

"I like you too," Baekhyun whispers between the kisses, unfolding his hands in order to wrap his arms around Chanyeol's broad shoulders. His slender fingers hook into Chanyeol's shirt, Baekhyun clinging to him as if for dear life, and Chanyeol smiles against Baekhyun's lips when Baekhyun pulls him closer. He's really feeling pleased by how needy Baekhyun is, the boy even straightening up his legs in order to give Chanyeol the opportunity to press their bodies together, which is exactly what Chanyeol does the very next second, circling his long arms around Baekhyun's slim waist and experiencing another dose of affection hitting him upon the feel of having Baekhyun safely in his hold. _This is how it should be,_ Chanyeol thinks.

"You are so lovely," the soldier whispers, pecking Baekhyun on the lips one last time before he travels to Baekhyun's cheek and leaves a kiss here, tasting the saltiness that the tears have left on the smooth skin. Then, he places a kiss on Baekhyun's jaw too, then on Baekhyun's nose and then on Baekhyun's forehead as well. "Every part of you is perfect."

"That's not true," Baekhyun chuckles sadly.

" _Every_ part of you is perfect," Chanyeol repeats, pulling Baekhyun in for a hug. "You might not think so, but I'm telling you the truth." Burying his nose into Baekhyun's hair, Chanyeol relaxes his body and just takes in the smell of Baekhyun, letting it numb his senses even more after a mind-blowing kiss. "I will repeat it until you start believing it," Chanyeol tells him.

"Good luck then," is Baekhyun's response, and Chanyeol doesn't really like the sarcasm hidden in the boy's tone.

"I'm serious," Chanyeol mumbles into Baekhyun's black locks. Baekhyun is a beautiful person from inside out, and Chanyeol wants him to know that, wants Baekhyun to see it and believe it. "You are the best."

If Baekhyun could just see himself the way Chanyeol sees him, he would most likely lose all of his insecurities and worries, realizing there is not a single thing wrong about him - at least not in Chanyeol's eyes, since Chanyeol loves Baekhyun even more for all the things Baekhyun hates about himself.

"I don't agree with that," Baekhyun whispers, his warm breath tingling Chanyeol's neck. "But I'm happy you think so." Hugging Chanyeol tighter, the boy adds, "I'm really happy."

 _I'm really happy too,_ Chanyeol thinks as he closes his eyes, rubbing circles with his thumb into the boy's lower back. "Good enough for now," the soldier says, placing a tender kiss into Baekhyun's soft hair. Now that he knows that he is allowed to touch Baekhyun and kiss him, Chanyeol is sure that he won't be able to stop. It's like he is urged to touch every part of Baekhyun's body with his lips even more than before, the smooth skin tempting him to pamper it with kisses, and Chanyeol is itching to do just that.

  
  


They sit on the floor for a while, hugging as Chanyeol continues to shower Baekhyun with compliments in hopes to change the opinion Baekhyun has for himself. At one point, Baekhyun even tells him to stop already, and when Chanyeol pulls away to look at the boy's face, he finds Baekhyun blushing furiously, the poor thing covering his face with his hands as he tries to hide the redness on his cheeks. "It's embarrassing," Baekhyun says, but Chanyeol only smiles at him and grabs the boy's wrists gently, pulling the pretty hands away from Baekhyun's face and kissing him softly. Baekhyun responds immediately and kisses back, closing his eyes and breathing out through his nose, and Chanyeol finds himself wondering how it's possible to forget all about the outside world and its problems with just a single touch of Baekhyun's lips.

"Let's go to bed, okay?" Chanyeol whispers, brushing his lips against Baekhyun's. "You need to lie down and rest."

"I've been resting the whole week," Baekhyun argues, opening his eyes. _Beautiful,_ is a thought that flashes through Chanyeol's mind right away. "I'm tired of resting."

"Well, you have to deal with it," saying that, Chanyeol starts getting up, pulling Baekhyun up along with him. "Just because you've gotten better doesn't mean you shouldn't rest anymore. Besides, you said you were sleepy after dinner." When Baekhyun is up and standing steadily on his legs Chanyeol adds, "And I'm kinda tired too, so let's just go to sleep together, hm?"

Baekhyun nods and looks down at their intertwined fingers, smiling slightly. "Okay," he says, the blush still present on his cheeks, coloring the tip of his ears red as well, and Chanyeol isn't even surprised when he feels warmth spreading through his whole body at the sight. Again, he gets an incredible urge to kiss Baekhyun, and he wonders how in the world has he survived so long with only being able to stare at Baekhyun's bow-shaped lips without being able to taste them.

"Let's go, then. But brush your teeth first."

After brushing their teeth, Chanyeol leads Baekhyun out of the room, turning off the light in the bathroom as they leave it. Walking hand in hand through the hall and then turning left to Chanyeol's room, the two of them make their way to the bed, Baekhyun immediately slipping under the covers while Chanyeol stops in front of the bed in order to get out of his combat pants - having to let go of Baekhyun's hand because of it felt like letting go of a lifeline that was keeping him alive, and Chanyeol isn't even exaggerating.

When his combat pants are lying on the ground, Chanyeol turns in the direction of the wardrobe, already taking a step toward it when Baekhyun says, "You don't have to wear sweatpants." For a second, Chanyeol freezes on the spot, looking over his shoulder to make sure he has heard right. "I mean-" Baekhyun starts again, nervous now when Chanyeol's gaze is on him. "-uhm... You said once that you don't really like sleeping in sweatpants, and I thought that you'd feel better... without it...?" when Chanyeol just continues to stare at the boy, Baekhyun panics and says, "O-Or wear them if you want to. I didn't say anything," before hiding his face behind the blanket partially.

"Well it's.. up to you, I guess." Chanyeol gulps, scratching the back of his neck. He too, suddenly feels nervous. Since the first time they slept together in the bed, Chanyeol has always been wearing sweatpants because it didn't seem appropriate to sleep only in his underwear and a loose shirt next to Baekhyun, but now if Baekhyun says it's alright, then... it should really be fine, right? "I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything."

"I won't be," Baekhyun tells him truthfully, shaking his head once. "It's really okay."

Chanyeol nods awkwardly, thinking about it a little. He truly doesn't enjoy sleeping in sweatpants, but on the other hand, sleeping with Baekhyun in the bed only in his underwear? With the way Baekhyun always presses his body against Chanyeol during the night? Chanyeol doesn't think it's that good of an idea. Plus, if he woke up with a morning wood it'd be better if he had his sweatpants on.

However, he would _really_ enjoy sleeping only in his underwear, and Baekhyun himself has said there is no problem with that - he even said it like three times already. He sounded sincere, nervous but definitely saying the truth, so should Chanyeol just go along with it?

"Just lie down already. I can see you roasting your brain as you think," Baekhyun says after a minute. "I don't mind for real."

If it was someone else insisting on him not changing into his sweatpants, Chanyeol could easily think that the person has some rated intentions, but since it's Baekhyun, Chanyeol knows that it's nothing like that. After all, Baekhyun's eyes shine brightly with pure innocence, and there is not a single hint of the boy having some dirty thoughts - it's obvious Baekhyun just wants Chanyeol to be comfortable, nothing more and nothing less.

With that in mind, Chanyeol sighs and decides. "Okay," he says in the end, and Baekhyun gives him a small smile, moving closer to the wall and making a space for Chanyeol to lie next to him. And so, after such an invitation, the soldier slips under the sheets carefully - because as much as Baekhyun can eat by himself now and walk around if he wants to, he is still not completely recovered, and shaking too much with the bed while getting in might hurt the boy.

Chanyeol lies down on his back and makes himself comfortable, and it's literally one second later that Baekhyun shifts to him and lets his head rest on Chanyeol's chest, throwing an arm around Chanyeol's stomach as well. Before, when Baekhyun did that for the first time, Chanyeol was hesitant and wondered if he can truly touch Baekhyun as well or not, but now, it's like his hand has a brain on its own, placing itself on Baekhyun's waist immediately as if it belonged there. The way Chanyeol's fingertips burn at the contact along with the rest of his body makes Chanyeol think that it might as well truly be like that, his hand belonging there just like Baekhyun belongs in his arms.

Chanyeol has never really had a goal in his life. It was just about surviving and accepting what life has given him or taken away from him, but there has never been a real purpose for Chanyeol, no dreams in his heart that he'd like to pursue and no honest desire to do something either. However, now as he lies with Baekhyun in his arms in the bed, the boy whispering _goodnight_ into his chest softly, he thinks that maybe the purpose of his life is to just be with Baekhyun, hold the boy in his arms and protect him until the end of their lives... Love him until the end of their lives.

Maybe it all sounds foolish and too cheesy, but there is no denying that this is how he feels, Chanyeol's whole existence radiating with love for the blue-eyed beauty that's partially lying on top of him.

"Goodnight," Chanyeol whispers back, closing his eyes and burying his nose into Baekhyun's hair again, because yes, he is _that_ addicted to Baekhyun's scent.

Despite them being close like this, it's still not enough for Chanyeol somehow, though the only thing separating them is their clothes. Is Chanyeol being too needy, wanting more so soon? But really, he can't help it; he wants to lie so close to Baekhyun that he will not only feel Baekhyun's heartbeat against his own, but that he won't be even able to tell whose heartbeat belongs to whom.

 _Maybe one day_ , Chanyeol thinks, and after placing a soft kiss on top of Baekhyun's head, he drifts off to sleep with a soft hum of Baekhyun's heartbeat echoing in his head.

<  
  


It's sometimes in the middle of the night that Chanyeol's sleep is interrupted, the man opening his eyes just to find Baekhyun sitting on the bed. "Baekhyun...?" Chanyeol mumbles in confusion, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. Just as he does so, he hears a thunder from the outside, and when he looks left and out of the window, he sees that it's raining heavily. The storm must be just coming their way now though, otherwise Chanyeol would have woken up sooner, since his sleep is quite light.

Turning his head back to Baekhyun, he asks, "Why aren't you sleeping?" No answer. "Baekhyun?" he calls out to the boy again, but when Baekhyun stays silent again, Chanyeol begins to worry. "Are you alright? Are you in pain?" Immediately, he gets up into a sitting position, not feeling sleepy at all anymore because of how scared he is. "Baekhyun, please talk to me," Chanyeol begs, reaching out for Baekhyun and ending up being surprised when the boy flinches the moment Chanyeol touches his shoulder fleetingly.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun apologizes, speaking up for the first time.

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol asks, brushing away Baekhyun's hair to see him in the eyes. This time, Baekhyun doesn't flinch, but he doesn't look all that comfortable either. "Is it the storm? Or does your back hurt? Or something else?"

"No, it's nothing," Baekhyun says, attempting for a smile, but it looks far from realistic. "I'm fine, just couldn't sleep for some reason." But Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun is lying, because otherwise there wouldn't be left-over tears on his eye-lashes, just like there wouldn't be wet trails on his cheeks.

"Baekhyun," whispering, Chanyeol shifts closer to Baekhyun, kissing the boy's shoulder, then jaw, and then cheek. "Tell me what's wrong, please." After being showered with so much affection, Baekhyun seems to relax, and it's shortly after another soft kiss is placed on his cheek that he leans into Chanyeol's chest and exhales deeply in content, his head coming to rest on Chanyeol's shoulder. "Tell me what's troubling you," Chanyeol says, feeling relief washing over him upon seeing how the tension slowly but surely leaves Baekhyun's body. "I'll listen to you, you know that," he adds and finds Baekhyun's hand, intertwining their fingers.

"It's really fine," Baekhyun tells him. "I just... I just had a bad dream, that's all."

"...Do you want to talk about it?" Chanyeol asks, concerned. "If you don't want to, it's fine," he adds quickly afterwards, not wanting to push the boy into talking about something he doesn't want to talk about. If Baekhyun only needs to be held, then that's what Chanyeol is going to.

Minutes pass with Baekhyun not saying a single word, and at one point, Chanyeol even begins to think that the boy has fallen asleep because his eyes are closed and his breathing is even, but then Baekhyun finally speaks up, saying quietly, "It's not like I don't want to tell you," A short pause and then, "It just scares me to death to even think about it, so talking about it is much harder."

"It's okay," Chanyeol says, caressing the back of Baekhyun's hand with his thumb. "You really don't have to tell me. I care more about how you're feeling right now - if it's okay now, if you are okay now."

Chuckling humorlessly, Baekhyun answers with, "Yeah, for now I am." Right after that, the room is momentarily lit up with a lightning bolt that is almost immediately followed by a loud thunder, and while Chanyeol is completely unfazed by it, Baekhyun jumps a little in his arms. "That's quite a storm," Baekhyun comments, changing the topic.

"It is," Chanyeol agrees, switching to the new topic effortlessly despite having Baekhyun's _for now I am_ on replay in his mind. "It's been a long time since I last experienced such a storm." From what Chanyeol remembers, he was met with a similarly intense storm sometimes in December of last year. "Are you scared?" he questions, continuing to rub circles into Baekhyun's hand.

"Not really, I'm not afraid of storms. It's just that this one is really something else. The thunder was so loud that I could feel it in my bones." Burying his head in the crook of Chanyeol's head, he says, "I've heard somewhere that a scent of the person you like is able to calm you down."

"Oh yeah?" Chanyeol's voice comes out way too high-pitched, and his heart jumps in his chest when he feels Baekhyun's nose brushing against his neck.

"Yeah... I think they were right," Baekhyun muses. "I feel quite okay now." Chanyeol doesn't say anything in response - since Baekhyun has managed to knock the breath out of him with those words, and thus the man is not only unable to speak, but also unable to breathe for a while - and it's not much later that a blush arrives, coloring Chanyeol's face and ears in a vibrant pink. "You smell really good, Chanyeol," Baekhyun continues, probably not being aware that he has already killed Chanyeol just now. "I don't know how to describe it, but your scent is the most perfect thing." As Baekhyun speaks, Chanyeol notices that the boy is starting to slur some of the words - most likely because he's beginning to get sleepy again - and it makes the soldier wonder about how long Baekhyun's been up before he was joined by Chanyeol. Chanyeol hopes the answer to his question is _not too long._

"Let's lie down again, okay?" Chanyeol offers, his voice still not sounding like his. But really, how can he talk normally when Baekhyun is saying such things?

"Mhmm," Baekhyun only hums and lets himself be pulled down with Chanyeol, hissing in pain slightly in the process when the skin on his back stretches. Immediately, Chanyeol apologizes, and even though Baekhyun says it's alright, Chanyeol feels bad for not being careful enough even while knowing that the wounds on Baekhyun's back aren't healed yet. "Sorry for waking you up."

"It was the storm," Chanyeol says. "You should have woken me up, though."

"Why would I?" Baekhyun questions. _So you wouldn't have to fight your demons alone_ , Chanyeol wants to say, but before he can get any words out, Baekhyun continues. "I'm already sorry for worrying you, I wouldn't want to be sorry for interrupting your sleep as well."

"Don't be sorry for such things. Never be sorry for such things," Chanyeol forbids him. "I want to be with you when you're feeling unwell just the same as I want to be with you when you're feeling alright. Maybe I can't help, but at least I want to make you feel like you're not alone."

"You're doing a great job when it comes to that, believe me," Baekhyun says as he makes himself comfortable on Chanyeol, getting into the same position he had when they were falling asleep a few hours ago. Then, he yawns and snuggles up to the soldier even more, and although right now there are multiple strands of Baekhyun's hair that tingle Chanyeol's face, Chanyeol doesn't do anything to move Baekhyun away - if Baekhyun is comfortable like this, then Chanyeol will gladly ignore his own slight discomfort.

"I'm glad to hear that." Chanyeol can't help the smile that appears on his lips, the familiar warmth spreading through his body yet again. "Go back to sleep now."

"The storm is too loud," Baekhyun says, and Chanyeol knows for sure that the boy is pouting right now even though Chanyeol can't see it from this angle. He wishes he could though, because Baekhyun looks too adorable when pouting, making Chanyeol think that those bow-shaped lips were made to pout - and after kissing Baekhyun, Chanyeol also thinks that the boy's lips were meant to be kissed, but by no other than Chanyeol himself, because as possessive as it might sound, Baekhyun is only his.

Baekhyun may have said that it's too loud to fall asleep, but it's ten minutes at most that the boy is asleep again, his hot breath ghosting over Chanyeol's chest. And just then, when Baekhyun's heart is beating calmly against his, the boy seemingly not having any bad dream this time, does Chanyeol dare to close his own eyes and follow Baekhyun into a deep slumber.

  
  


When Chanyeol wakes up in the morning, it's still raining. The storm has passed already but the light rain is still present, and Chanyeol dies a little internally when he realizes that his boots will get completely dirty when he'll be picking up their meals from the kitchens. He should have prepared himself for this sooner - he even had a chance to do so when he saw the horrible storm in action during the night - but somehow his mind was so full of Baekhyun that Chanyeol has forgot to think about anything else.

"Are you up?" Chanyeol asks. He would find out for himself, but Baekhyun is still lying on him and from this angle, Chanyeol doesn't see if the boy's eyes are closed or not, and he doesn't want to move in a fear that it would wake Baekhyun up if he was still asleep.

"Yeah," comes a reply a second later. "Good morning."

"Seriously..." Chanyeol sighs. "Do you really wake up so early in the morning every time?"

"You know I do," Baekhyun mumbles, and Chanyeol's breath hitches when the boy tilts his head up to look at him. It must be uncomfortable to be looking up like this, especially painful for Baekhyun's neck as well, but Chanyeol is still glad that Baekhyun did that, since now he can dive into the mesmerizing ocean blue eyes and start his morning with a beautiful sight of Baekhyun's face. Like this, Chanyeol even momentarily forgets about the rain outside, being able to focus only on Baekhyun yet again.

"I just don't understand how it's possible," Chanyeol admits. After all, he is woken up every morning with an annoyingly loud wake-up call that resonates through the entire camp at the same exact hour every day, so it's understandable that his sleep is interrupted, but Baekhyun wakes up by himself every single day just before sunrise, no loud wake-up call needed. How is that even possible? "Maybe you waking so soon every day makes you so sleepy during the day," Chanyeol offers, his right hand heaving from the mattress and tangling itself in Baekhyun's soft locks.

"Maybe, but it's worth it," Baekhyun says, and Chanyeol truly can't resist any longer; with one swift motion he pecks Baekhyun's lips, ignoring the pain that shoots up from his neck as he does so. In comparison to being able to feel Baekhyun's lips on his own the first thing in the morning, the pain in his neck is nothing.

Baekhyun melts into the kiss, but rather than kissing back eagerly like yesterday, this time Baekhyun just lets himself be kissed instead, enjoying how Chanyeol's lips slide against his in the most tender fashion. The kiss is slow and full of love Chanyeol has been hiding for so long, and while Chanyeol has not found enough courage to tell Baekhyun _I love you_ instead of _I like you_ yet, he definitely has enough courage to hint at his intense feelings with the way he kisses the boy, pouring all of his emotions into every move of his lips and hoping that Baekhyun will pick up on it.

"Good morning," Chanyeol whispers when he pulls away, realizing that he hasn't said it back yet. It's just then, when he puts the tiniest bit of space between their faces and opens his eyes again, that Chanyeol realizes that Baekhyun is blushing. Not as extremely as Chanyeol was blushing yesterday when Baekhyun complimented his scent, but it's still pretty visible. _Beautiful,_ Chanyeol thinks as his lips curve into a smile without him even knowing.

"We haven't brushed our teeth," Baekhyun says, but he doesn't really seem to mind, judging by how he doesn't pull away and stays close, his lips brushing over Chanyeol's as he speaks.

"We never brush our teeth before breakfast," Chanyeol reminds him.

"But then we didn't kiss," Baekhyun arguments. "Don't you think of morning breath as disgusting?"

"Nothing that has something to do with you is disgusting," after that being let out in the open, Baekhyun's blush picks up on the intensity quite fast, the boy even looking away and placing his head back on Chanyeol's chest.

"You say so many embarrassing things," Baekhyun murmurs, making Chanyeol chuckle. "Don't laugh, I'm serious. You have to stop."

"I told, didn't I?" Chanyeol ruffles Baekhyun's hair slightly before saying, "I will remind you of how perfect you are until you stop doubting it."

Baekhyun keeps opposing him, even pinching Chanyeol's arm in the process of arguing, but Chanyeol thinks that he could get used to mornings like this one - Baekhyun bickering with him cutely while lying in his arms, the two of them in their own world.

Getting up from bed has never been harder, Chanyeol is sure about it - it's still raining outside, the temperature has gotten worse, his boots will be dirtied by the mud the very moment he steps out of the building, but the thing that makes him frustrated the most is that the fact that he'll have to let go of Baekhyun for the time being. Truthfully, every other inconvenience can be overlooked, but him having to leave Baekhyun is making him want to die, because it means that he'll have to come back to the real world again, and Chanyeol isn't all that happy about it.

And then, as if leaving the warm sheets with Baekhyun in them wasn't hard enough, Baekhyun decides to make it even more difficult for the soldier, repeating _don't go_ in that adorable voice for five minutes straight while Chanyeol is getting dressed. "I have to go. We have to eat something," Chanyeol reasons, but even he himself would rather stay, their empty stomach be screwed. No food can be as good as Baekhyun's company, anyway. "Besides, I need to show my face in the kitchens or else they would come looking for me - and that wouldn't be the best."

"...Yeah," Baekhyun agrees, his voice sounding as sad as Chanyeol feels.

"I'll be back quickly," Chanyeol tells him, pulling up his pants and buttoning them, then putting on his jacket too - he isn't cold, but if Jongin saw him without a jacket at this kind of weather, he would start scolding Chanyeol again, and Chanyeol would rather skip on that. "You know I'd stay if I had a say in this," Chanyeol says as he buttons up his jacket as well, and then when he's done, he finally looks over at Baekhyun who is still lying in the bed under the covers.

It's the very second his gaze falls on the boy that his heart jumps in his chest, the all too familiar warmth spreading through his whole body _again,_ and Chanyeol finds himself frozen for a moment as he stares at Baekhyun. Baekhyun is... just beautiful, and Chanyeol is unable to count all the times he had a thought like this flashing through his mind out of blue. But really, how can he not think of Baekhyun as a work of art when the boy looks like _this?_ Messy black hair spread across the white pillow, bright blue eyes shining like stars in the dead of the night, and lips that literally beg to be kissed - Chanyeol feels like he is looking at a real angel, and once again, he deems the nickname he gave Baekhyun really fitting.

"I know," Baekhyun says, completely oblivious to the look of pure adoration Chanyeol is giving him. "Just be quick...?"

"I will be." _Of course I will be,_ Chanyeol thinks. _I want to be back already as well._

Chanyeol is already ready to head to the door, but then the urge to kiss Baekhyun consumes him entirely when he sees how Baekhyun yawns adorably and brushes his hair away from his face, and before Chanyeol can realize what's happening, he's already walking over to the bed instead of the door and pecking Baekhyun's cheek softly, enjoying the smoothness of Baekhyun's skin. "I'll be right back," the soldier whispers against Baekhyun's cheek before pulling away and this time leaving for real, but only after glancing at Baekhyun one last time when he's on the doorstep, giving the boy a small smile as he disappears into the hall and out of the building.

Just as expected, the moment he steps out of the building his boots get dirty, and Chanyeol sighs deeply before breaking into a fast-paced walk, making his way to the kitchens while frowning deeply, not enjoying the rain at all. The only thing he's excited about as of now - aside from being able to get back to Baekhyun after picking up their breakfast - is meeting Jongin and hopefully having a short conversation with his friend while Jongin prepares the trays for him. Of course they can't talk for real, since they'll be surrounded by many people who could be listening to them, but even a small talk with his best friend is enough to make Chanyeol happy. After all, Chanyeol misses his best friend a lot, and although they get to spend only a total of ten minutes together every day, Chanyeol cherishes those short minutes a lot.

However, Chanyeol's plan of having a small talk with Jongin vanishes into thin air only a few seconds later, the soldier finding out that Jongin was assigned somewhere else today. "Counting the supplies or something, I've heard," the cook that has taken Jongin's place for today tells him. "Maybe he'll be back by the lunch, though," the young boy adds, giving Chanyeol a smile as he prepares the trays.

"Are you new here?" Chanyeol asks after realizing that he has never seen this face before in the kitchens.

"Yes. I was assigned here yesterday," the boy answers. "I'm Donghyuk."

"Chanyeol," Chanyeol introduces himself as well. "Are you alright? Your hands are trembling a little," Chanyeol asks and gestures to Donghyuk's hands, noticing how they shake slightly as the cook places two glasses with water on the tray. One normal-sized and the other one bigger - _Jongin must have told him to do so_ , Chanyeol thinks.

"O-Oh?" Donghyuk looks away as if embarrassed, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm just nervous, I guess. I don't want to get in trouble for doing something wrong."

"You're doing fine so far," Chanyeol smiles at Donghyuk in a hope it will calm the boy down. When Donghyuk gives him a sheepish smile as well, Chanyeol can't help but ask, "How old are you?" Then, remembering that not everyone likes to give away personal information, Chanyeol quickly adds. "You don't have to answer."

"It's alright. I'm eighteen," Donghyuk reveals. "But I'll be nineteen soon. In one month, actually."

After hearing the boy's age, Chanyeol freezes for a second. He expected Donghyuk to be young because of his youthful face, but he definitely didn't look like he was younger than Baekhyun. _Eighteen,_ Chanyeol muses in his mind, and his heart clenches painfully upon realizing that there are so many young boys other than Donghyuk who have to fight in this war, some of them losing their lives at such a young age. It makes Chanyeol sad, that such a huge amount of people who still have had life ahead of themselves were thrown into this cruel world full of blood and misery, having to fight and give up their lives before they even got to live them.

War is such a disgusting thing, really.

"Here, all done," Donghyuk says, and just then, Chanyeol realizes that he has zoned out a little. Quickly, he blinks away all of his thoughts and looks down at the precisely arranged trays, thanking Donghyuk. "Is everything alright? Nothing's missing, right?" Donghyuk asks a little anxiously, playing with his fingers nervously.

"You did a good job, everything's fine," Chanyeol praises the boy, patting his shoulder. "Do you perhaps have something that I could use to cover the food? It's still raining outside."

"Oh, yes, please wait a little," Donghyuk says and disappears off to somewhere, returning a few seconds later with plastic-like-material cover and putting it on top of the food on the trays. "Should I help you carry it or something? I wasn't told if yes or not," the boy asks, clueless.

"Oh, no. I have to go alone," Chanyeol says, taking the trays in his hands. "Thanks." Chanyeol turns to leave, and the boy quickly walks past him and opens the door for him. With a grateful smile, Chanyeol steps out of the kitchen, bidding the boy goodbye, "Take care. And don't be nervous, you'll do great."

"I'll try my best," Donghyuk says, the shy and happy smile still present on his lips. He looks so full of life despite what's going on, and Chanyeol finds himself wondering if Baekhyun was like this too in the past. Even now, Baekhyun's eyes have a spark in them, but it's definitely a whole lot different from Donghyuk's, because there is always a glimmer in those who have gone through something bad. Baekhyun's eyes are saying that he's willing to fight, but they aren't as full of life as Donghyuk's are - not by far - and Chanyeol wishes he would see Baekhyun's are sparkling this exact way again.

With a nod of his head, Chanyeol leaves and makes his way back to Baekhyun, scowling as he walks fast through the camp. He likes storms because they - strangely enough - make him calm, but he doesn't enjoy getting wet in the rain like now, the drops hitting his face and occasionally even eyes, Chanyeol's frown only deepening every time it happens. He is glad that it's just rain though, because if the wind was blowing as well, Chanyeol would already be cursing the weather passionately in his head - more than he is now.

It doesn't take long to get back to his and Baekhyun's building, but it sure seems like forever at one point. His shoes get completely dirty, his hair become plastered to his forehead, his clothes get soaked quite a lot as well, and is if that wasn't enough, Chanyeol's vision is starting to get blurry because of the raindrops that have seemingly made themselves at home in his eyes. Chanyeol is rather annoyed by all of the things mentioned, but all mediocre anger disappears from his heart when he sees Baekhyun after finally getting back, the boy lying in the exact as position as before and tapping his pretty fingers against the pillow with a bored expression. However, when he notices Chanyeol standing at the doorstep, Baekhyun's whole face lights up in a second, the boy's lips forming into a sweet smile, and Chanyeol could die at this very moment from such a sight.

"You're back," Baekhyun says, heaving himself up on his elbows, his blue eyes scanning Chanyeol. "And you're quite wet."

"Yeah, the rain is heavier than it seemed, so I've found out," Chanyeol shares and puts the trays on the table, undressing himself with an expression full of distaste, hating how the clothes are stuck to his body. He takes off everything apart from his underwear, leaving the clothes lying on the floor along with his dirty boots, and walks over to the wardrobe to get a towel so he can dry himself. If Jongin saw him like this he would most likely scold him for being so careless with his health again, but luckily, Jongin isn't there to give him health advice regarding his almost-nudity combined with the weather, and so Chanyeol can walk around freely like this for as long as he wants to. "Maybe I spilled some water on the tray because I slipped a little on the way here, so sorry for that," Chanyeol says while drying himself, turning around to face Baekhyun. "Jongin wasn't here today, but I- hey, is something wrong?" Chanyeol interrupts himself to ask upon seeing Baekhyun's reddish face that is scrunched up into a strange expression.

"Y-Yeah, just-" Baekhyun stutters, gesturing vaguely with his hand.

"What?" Chanyeol tries to understand Baekhyun's gestures the second time Baekhyun moves his hand around in the air, but the result is the same - Chanyeol is clueless.

Groaning in frustration, Baekhyun covers his face with his hands. "It's nothing," the boy says after a moment, his voice muffled by his hands a little. "I'm fine."

"Baekhyun, you have to tell me if something's wrong. If you are hurt, I have to know-"

"I'm fine," Baekhyun repeats, and his tone sounds... quite unlike Baekhyun's normal tone. It makes Chanyeol even more concerned. "It's just- ugh," Baekhyun rubs his face with his hands as if trying to get a grip on himself. "Everything's okay, it's only... you know-" Baekhyun uses one of his hands to gesture vaguely again in Chanyeol's direction. "-you... It's because of you."

"What?" again, Chanyeol asks with questions marks in his eyes, but it takes only a few seconds of awkward silence for it to sink in. "Oh. _Oh._ " Immediately, Chanyeol turns back to the wardrobe and picks up a random shirt, putting it on even though he's not completely dry yet. "I'm really sorry," Chanyeol starts apologizing right away, his own face beginning to get red. "I didn't realize that- uh, sorry. I'm really sorry"

"It's alright," Baekhyun's voice comes out a little high-pitched as he speaks, and it reminds Chanyeol of how he himself was yesterday when Baekhyun complimented his smell. "I'm just not used to it, that's all."

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable," Chanyeol continues frantically, feeling like the worst person for not noticing what was wrong from the very beginning. "I didn't mean to, really. I-"

"You didn't," Baekhyun interrupts him quickly so Chanyeol wouldn't get it wrong. "I don't feel uncomfortable at all, I was just surprised and I- yeah." Seems like Baekhyun, too, doesn't know what to say in this awkward situation. "Can we just drop this topic?"

"Yeah, we definitely can," Chanyeol agrees in a speed of light, putting on his sweatpants, still cursing himself in his head. How could he not realize? How could he not think of the possibility of Baekhyun getting embarrassed upon seeing Chanyeol half-naked? Baekhyun seems like the type of person who would get flustered at a simple mention of nudity, and Chanyeol shamelessly walked around like this. _Stupid,_ Chanyeol scolds himself for causing such an awkward situation. He should have been more careful. Just because he's close with Baekhyun doesn't mean he can suddenly do things like this.

"So.." Baekhyun starts after a few seconds. "How come you don't get cold? The weather's horrible."

"Well, I don't really know," Chanyeol answers truthfully, trying to even his voice so he won't sound... well, exactly how he feels, and that is extremely embarrassed. "My body is just okay with the cold...? It's always been like this. It's something like you and your waking up at sunrise, I guess."

"Weird," Baekhyun mutters. "You're weird. Your body is weird."

"Funny how it's you who's saying that."

And just like that, when Baekhyun starts to bicker with him again about who's the weird one out of them, the tension and awkwardness disappears again. Chanyeol lets Baekhyun talk at the beginning, being amused by the things Baekhyun can say when he argues, but then when Baekhyun mentions his 'bad' pronunciation _again,_ Chanyeol can't help but argue back. Basically, their breakfast time is spent with eating and bickering childishly, with a few sweet kisses exchanged in-between the arguments.

Chanyeol feels happy, forgetting all about the outside world yet again, and every time he looks into Baekhyun's blue eyes, he feels like he's swimming in a sea far away from all the trouble with only Baekhyun by his side to keep him the best company one could imagine. _What a beautiful life that would be, just the two of us away from this mess_ , Chanyeol thinks with a smile on his lips, wishful thoughts filling his mind as he stares at Baekhyun lovingly, the boy oblivious to Chanyeol's stare, since he's busy stuffing his mouth with the little food he was given.

When Baekhyun turns to him suddenly and continues to bicker with his mouth full, hitting the tray softly with his chopsticks as if to put emphasis on his words, Chanyeol feels his heart swelling with affection. "Are you even listening to me? You should be listening. At least the correct pronunciation will rub off on you," Baekhyun teases, grinning at Chanyeol cutely.

_Yes, I would definitely like a life like that._

  
  


At this very moment, while Chanyeol is lying in the bed and doing absolutely nothing, there are numerous soldiers dying on the battlefield as they fight on the fronts, and Chanyeol wants to feel guilty - partially he even does - but he can't bring himself to feel too bad, especially not when Baekhyun is lying beside him on this very bed, playing with Chanyeol's fingers and occasionally saying a word or two. Chanyeol might be selfish for being happy about being here instead of helping out the country on the battlefield, but really; as selfish as it sounds, he would never trade the time he's able to spend with Baekhyun for fighting on the fronts.

"What are you thinking about?" Baekhyun asks quietly, surprising Chanyeol who blinks a few times as he leaves his thoughts behind and comes back to reality.

"Just... things," Chanyeol says, knowing that now he might not feel guilty about his thoughts, but he most likely would if he voiced them. "It's not important."

"You look troubled," Baekhyun comments, the look in his eyes concerned as he gazes at Chanyeol. "You know you can tell me if something's going on," saying that, Baekhyun shifts closer to Chanyeol and squeezes the soldier's hand, a clear sign of _I'm here if you need it, and I'll listen._ But how can Chanyeol trouble Baekhyun with something like this when Baekhyun has so many problems of his own already? "But you also don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I'll understand," Baekhyun adds, and it's then, when Chanyeol hears the very same words he used to tell Baekhyun when the boy was troubled, that he realizes that it's not about who has it more difficult out of the two of them - Baekhyun cares about him, just as much as Chanyeol cares about Baekhyun, and he simply wants to know about what's going on inside of Chanyeol's head. They boy wouldn't judge him, and he also wouldn't think _your problems aren't real because I have it worse._

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol apologizes, cupping Baekhyun's cheek with his palm and caressing the boy's cheekbone with his thumb. Baekhyun might not know what Chanyeol is apologizing for - judging by how he looks at Chanyeol in confusion the moment the _sorry_ leaves the soldier's mouth - but it's enough that Chanyeol knows. _I'm sorry for doubting you,_ Chanyeol thinks. _I should have known that you'd never judge me,_ he wants to say, but in the end he just tells Baekhyun, "Sorry in general."

"What do you mea-" but Chanyeol doesn't let Baekhyun finish, the soldier leaning closer and cutting Baekhyun off with a kiss. Baekhyun is clearly surprised, and given how stubborn he is, Chanyeol even thinks that the boy will pull away and ask about the meaning of this again, but to Chanyeol's great surprise, Baekhyun only closes his eyes and kisses back right away without hesitation.

Kissing Baekhyun feels amazing, and though they've shared quite a lot of kisses from yesterday until now, Chanyeol swears that no matter if it's the first kiss or the hundredth, it still feels the same - if not even better. Always, Chanyeol feels the same spark lightening up his heart, just like he feels his whole body tingling. Always, Chanyeol experiences a momentary heaven, the intensity of his happiness never ceasing, not by a bit. Always, Chanyeol's whole existence screams for _more and more,_ because Chanyeol can never get enough of those soft lips that kiss him with so much raw emotion that it completely beats how inexperienced Baekhyun is - though after so many kisses, Baekhyun is getting fairly better.

And always, Chanyeol gets reminded of just how much he loves not only those previously mentioned soft lips, but how much he loves Baekhyun.

How did it even come down to this? When Chanyeol was assigned to watch over the important prisoner two or so months ago, he had never thought that he'd fall for the very boy he was supposed to hate, considering that the two of them were enemies. And more so, he had also never thought that Baekhyun would feel the same way about him, given that his point of view must have been entirely different from Chanyeol's - the soldier could easily feel attracted by the adorable, blue-eyed, innocent boy, but what about Baekhyun? Baekhyun fell for a person that had endless power over him and could use it anytime if they wanted to. Truly, it must have been hard for the boy to start trusting Chanyeol and then, eventually, even fall in love with him, but Chanyeol can't be happier about this turn of events.

Swayed by the intense emotions, Chanyeol attempts to deepen the kiss, swiping his tongue over Baekhyun's lower lip, asking for permission before leveling up their kiss, because while they have shared quite a lot of kisses, there has been no tongue involved yet, and Chanyeol doesn't want to force Baekhyun into this if the boy is not ready.

However, to Chanyeol's surprise, Baekhyun gives him a green light immediately and with seemingly close-to-none hesitation, and Chanyeol can't help but smile a little before slipping his tongue into Baekhyun's mouth, kissing him eagerly but still gently and slowly, with endless love and affection - just like always. Baekhyun's lack of experience shows again, but Chanyeol doesn't mind at all, happily taking the lead and guiding Baekhyun through this until the boy gets a grasp and finds enough courage to kiss back just as eagerly.

Chanyeol kissed people in the past, and he was also kissed by people back, but it never felt quite like this. Maybe it's because they were all partners for sex and Chanyeol was horny instead of in love, but still, it's too much of a difference. The kisses he had with other people can't be even compared to the kisses he shared with Baekhyun, since they seem so dull when Chanyeol tries to remember them, and he wonders if it's not wrong to call them _kisses_ in the first place - _lips touching_ is a better name, a one that's definitely more accurate. To be honest, even Chanyeol's first kiss didn't feel as good as literally every kiss Baekhyun gifts him with, and it's making him realize - even more so - just how special Baekhyun is, the boy not stealing a piece of Chanyeol's heart but instead making himself at home in it and leaving it a whole, protecting it from breaking with his own love. This way, if Chanyeol was ever to lose Baekhyun, Baekhyun wouldn't take just a piece of him, but everything - and despite this being quite dangerous, Chanyeol doesn't hesitate at all and gives in to his feelings, letting Baekhyun have all of him.

And it seems that Baekhyun is more than glad to have all of Chanyeol, judging by the way he starts kissing back for real too, the boy not wanting to just sit back and make Chanyeol do all the work. It's kind of messy at first, but Chanyeol loves it all that much more, since it's so Baekhyun - and not the inexperience, no. It's the love Chanyeol feels from the kiss that makes it so Baekhyun-like, and it's also the eagerness Baekhyun puts into it, the boy kissing him as if it was their last kiss and he has to give it his everything. Chanyeol surely likes the enthusiasm, but the thought of this possibly being their last kiss is something he doesn't want to think about. Truth be told, he doesn't want to think about them having a last kiss period, now or a week later, or a year later, or an eternity later. He wants to keep kissing Baekhyun forever and then more.

When he attempted to deepen the kiss, Chanyeol was a little worried about scaring Baekhyun with it, afraid that it might be too much too soon, but here they are a few minutes later, with Baekhyun being the one who leads the kiss and Chanyeol being the one who is trying to catch up. Soon enough, Baekhyun shocks him even more though when he lets go of Chanyeol's hand and pushes against Chanyeol's chest until the soldier is lying on his back, then proceeding to climb on top of Chanyeol as he continues to kiss him. "Hey, wait," Chanyeol can't help but stop Baekhyun. Not because he isn't enjoying himself but because he doesn't think it's right to go this fast. "Calm down a little," Chanyeol says with a chuckle after pulling away slightly.

"Why?" Baekhyun asks breathlessly. "Don't you like it?"

"I do, of course I do," Chanyeol is quick to answer, not wanting to make Baekhyun think for a single second that he's not feeling good while kissing the boy. In fact, if he was to be honest, Chanyeol would say that he could fly from how great he feels.

"Then, why?" frowning in confusion a little, Baekhyun pouts with his reddish lips.

"Don't you feel uncomfortable?" Chanyeol asks instead, tangling his hand into Baekhyun's hair. "I don't want you to do anything that you don't enjoy."

"I'm enjoying myself a lot," Baekhyun whispers and brushes his lips against Chanyeol's, sending a shiver down the soldier's back as he does so. Baekhyun's voice is normally light and soft, but as he said those words a second ago, it was anything but - instead, Baekhyun's voice sounded so seductive that it knocked the breath out of Chanyeol. It was rather unexpected, and after such a shock, the soldier freezes for a moment while his mind processes the tone that Baekhyun used.

However, Baekhyun isn't really giving him time to recover, kissing Chanyeol passionately again, and again, and again, Chanyeol's mind shutting down when Baekhyun cups both of his cheeks too and presses their bodies together more. Now, Chanyeol feels like he's the inexperienced one as Baekhyun lies on top of him and kisses him like there's no tomorrow, but he doesn't really mind, gladly letting Baekhyun do whatever the boy wants with him. After all, being kissed like this by Baekhyun is amazing, and Chanyeol is unable to resist those heavenly lips, just like he's unable to resist Baekhyun's beautiful hands that slide from his cheeks to his neck eventually, slender fingers tracing the line of Chanyeol's jawline.

It all feels too good, Chanyeol enjoying this way more than he should, but when Baekhyun grinds against him, sending an electric bolt through his whole body and making him groan in pleasure, Chanyeol knows it's time to stop. "Don't do this," Chanyeol chokes out after pulling away from the kiss, pushing against Baekhyun's chest.

"Why?" Baekhyun asks again, with the same confused expression as last time. However, now he looks more wrecked than before; hair messy from how Chanyeol was playing with the black locks the whole time, lips swollen and wet with saliva, and the look in his eyes full of want. It's a mystery to Chanyeol, how Baekhyun still manages to keep the innocent glint in those blue orbs despite obviously thinking of doing something that's everything but innocent. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"No, no," Chanyeol shakes his head. "You're doing everything... greatly," the soldier breathes out, still in awe from the make out session Baekhyun initiated. "It's just-.. we shouldn't do this." Before Baekhyun can ask another _why,_ Chanyeol quickly continues, "Don't you think it's too soon? And besides, you're still hurt."

"I'm fine," Baekhyun protests, attempting to kiss Chanyeol again and continue where they left off, but Chanyeol stops the boy before their lips meet, which seems to make Baekhyun quite unhappy. "You like it, so why would you stop me?"

"Because despite what you might think, you are not _fine_. And rushing things is unlike you, so if you're doing this because of me-"

"I'm not," Baekhyun frowns. "I want to-" suddenly, the boy stops, looking away as if he was embarrassed to say it, his cheeks a vibrant pink. "I want to do- I want- uh... w-with you," Baekhyun stutters, his eyes darting around the room and avoiding Chanyeol's gaze like a plague.

"You can't even say it," Chanyeol says with a chuckle, moving his hands from Baekhyun's hair to his cheek, the smooth skin underneath his fingertips making him go crazy like every single time he gets to touch Baekhyun.

"The fact that I can't say it has nothing to do with my feelings," Baekhyun counters, and despite clearly being frustrated, he leans into Chanyeol's touch without a second thought. "I'm serious about this," saying this, Baekhyun finally finds the courage to look at Chanyeol, and truly, Baekhyun looks very serious, the look in his eyes unwavering and full of certainty.

Still, Chanyeol can't go along with this. "Baekhyun-"

"No, stop," Baekhyun cuts him off immediately, shaking his head slightly. "Don't try to talk me out of this. I know what I want." _I can see that,_ Chanyeol thinks, already knowing that it will be hard to change Baekhyun's mind when the boy is so dead-set on this. At times like this, Chanyeol really feels bad for himself for having to deal with a person so stubborn. "And don't look at me with that look, I know _exactly_ what you're thinking right now, and I don't like it, so stop," Baekhyun tells Chanyeol, and the soldier exhales deeply before looking away, this time it being him who breaks the eye-contact. However, Baekhyun doesn't seem to like it, and it's only a second later that the boy turns Chanyeol's head back, frowning down at the soldier. "Why won't you listen to me?"

"Because you don't know what you're talking about," Chanyeol says, letting go of Baekhyun's cheek and letting his hand fall on the mattress.

"I do," the boy argues with fire in his blue eyes. "I do know. I want you to-"

"Why are you so bent on having sex all of sudden?" asking in frustration, Chanyeol gets up into a sitting position , and since Baekhyun was lying on top of him the whole time, the boy is pulled up with him as well. However, in the midst of arguing Chanyeol forgot about a very important thing when he made Baekhyun sit up with him; that thing being that Baekhyun's back is still injured, and Chanyeol gets quite a cruel reminder of it in the form of Baekhyun letting out a loud hiss, the slender fingers clutching into Chanyeol's shirt as the pain strikes him. "Fuck, I'm so sorry," the soldier apologizes immediately, feeling like a complete asshole for forgetting. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's fine," Baekhyun dismisses, resting his head on Chanyeol's shoulder as he waits for the pain to go away. "I know you didn't."

"Still, I'm sorry," Chanyeol sighs, all the frustration from before leaving him all at once upon seeing what it can cause. His arms circle around Baekhyun's lower back, and he places a tender kiss on Baekhyun's temple before apologizing once more, feeling incredibly guilty for causing Baekhyun pain, even though it hurt only momentarily. Afterwards, it's quiet for a moment, the two of them just hugging and using this time to calm themselves down, but Chanyeol is unable to wait too long, and thus he's the one to break the silence first, asking again, "Why are you so determined about it?"

"Because I'm scared," Baekhyun whispers so quietly that Chanyeol wouldn't hear him if Baekhyun wasn't just a few millimeters away from his ear. "I'm scared they are gonna come back any time, and they'll do... _things_ to me." Upon hearing this, Chanyeol's jaw clenches, and he feels a painful pang in his heart. Because of how happy he was about Baekhyun reciprocating his feelings, Chanyeol completely forgot about Woohyun and Heojoon. He was stuck in a happy fantasy in which only him and Baekhyun existed, but now Baekhyun's words have brought him back to reality, tearing him out of his perfect dream, and Chanyeol starts to feel the weight of the situation downing upon him.

"I'll do something," Chanyeol says. "I'll stop them-"

"No. No you won't," Baekhyun cuts him off, his voice ringing with finality. It sounds like an order. "I won't forgive you if you step in again."

"But-"

" _Chanyeol, no,_ " Baekhyun interrupts him again, not letting Chanyeol talk. "You can't do this, because next time they won't simply walk away. If you didn't get in trouble for this, you'll get in trouble for kicking them out next time, that's for sure." Chanyeol hates that Baekhyun is right, he hates it really, really much, and it's exactly the cruel truth that shuts him up, Chanyeol suddenly feeling like he can't even breathe, much less speak. And so, Baekhyun takes it upon himself to continue, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's neck as he says, "The nightmare I had earlier... It was about them returning." Right away, Chanyeol's fists clench in Baekhyun's sweater. "It made me realize that I'm only safe for now, but they are definitely coming back, and I don't even know when. For all I know, they could come today in the evening, and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it."

"They won't be coming today," Chanyeol quickly assures Baekhyun, but truth be told, even he himself isn't one hundred percent sure anymore.

"Good to hear," Baekhyun chuckles humorlessly, and then, after a short pause, "Chanyeol... I'm a virgin."

Chanyeol shouldn't be shocked to hear this, but somehow, he is. Maybe it's because Chanyeol, for some reason, thought that Baekhyun has just never kissed his sexual partners and that's why he kissed messily - which he realizes was so damn _stupid_ , considering that Baekhyun's whole existence screams _innocent_ and _pure -_ or maybe it's because Chanyeol wished so badly for Baekhyun to be experienced because he wouldn't be able to live in peace while knowing that the first time Baekhyun has done something sexual, it was because he was forced to do so, and not because he wanted to do it.

"Have you ever done... _something_ , at least?" Chanyeol asks carefully.

"No," Baekhyun says, and Chanyeol's heart sinks. "I wanted it to be special, you know? I've never even kissed anyone before you. I thought that it would be better if I waited for someone I truly want to be with instead of just giving myself to anyone." Baekhyun might be trying hard to sound neutral, but Chanyeol can hear the sadness and misery in his voice way too clearly anyway, every single word that falls out of Baekhyun's mouth changing into an arrow that pierces Chanyeol's heart mercilessly. "That's why I'm so bent on sleeping with you, Chanyeol; because you're the special one I've been waiting for, and I want you to be my first. You might think I'm not ready - and maybe I'm really not - but I can't wait any longer, because the fear of them showing up out of blue and taking my first time is _killing_ me. It's- Chanyeol?" Baekhyun stops his monologue suddenly, attempting to pull away and look Chanyeol in the face, but the soldier doesn't let him, tightening his hold around the boy. "Are... Are you crying?" Baekhyun asks quietly, not sure if he didn't imagine the shaky inhale Chanyeol took a second ago.

"I'm sorry," is Chanyeol's response, but his strained voice is enough to answer Baekhyun's question. "I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, and that you can't take wait until you're fully ready."

"Don't be," Baekhyun tells him, and Chanyeol feels the smile in the boy's tone despite not being able to see it. "It's okay." _But it's not,_ Chanyeol thinks, feeling more tears coming when Baekhyun kisses his jawline and says, "I'm here with you, so I'm fine." Then, Baekhyun attempts to pull away again, and this time Chanyeol lets him, loosening his hold the tiniest bit - there's no use in hiding his face anymore, because Baekhyun already knows that he's crying anyway.

When Baekhyun looks at him, a sad smile appears on his bow-shaped lips. He doesn't say anything, only wiping away Chanyeol's tears while his own eyes water a little in the process, and Chanyeol feels like his heart is truly bleeding. It's only thanks to Baekhyun's presence that Chanyeol hasn't broken down completely yet, the man trying to keep himself together while his emotions are raging inside of him.

"You're my special one too," he whispers, staring into Baekhyun's eyes intensely as he says it. He feels like Baekhyun should know, and though it's pretty obvious, Chanyeol had the urge to say it out loud. "It might not be my first time sleeping with someone, but it's definitely going to be the first time it matters."

Baekhyun freezes for a moment, only holding eye-contact with Chanyeol without even blinking, but then a bright grin replaces the small smile that was on his lips until now, and although the storm hasn't gone away, Chanyeol swears he's been just blinded by the Sun - if not by the real one, then by his personal one. "I'm happy, then," the boy says, laughing a little when he starts crying as well after hearing Chanyeol's words, tears of joy rolling down his cheeks as he leans forward and rests his forehead against Chanyeol's.

"I'll give you the best first time," Chanyeol promises Baekhyun, dead-set on making his words come true, because Baekhyun deserves only the best.

"I look forward to it, then," Baekhyun tells him and pecks Chanyeol's lips, the kiss short but still managing to make all of Chanyeol's worries disappear. Just like always, even though it's just for the time being.

Chanyeol is assigned to take care of the new supplies, and thus he doesn't get to spend a lot of time with Baekhyun during the day. However, the boy is always on his mind even though they are not together, the conversation they had in the morning stuck in Chanyeol's head. It doesn't matter what he's doing, Chanyeol somehow always finds himself thinking about Baekhyun or things related to the boy; he thinks about how nice it was when Baekhyun told him that he wants to lose his virginity with Chanyeol, and he also thinks about how good Baekhyun's lips tasted when they kissed afterwards. The memories of the times spent with Baekhyun make Chanyeol's heart flutter, the soldier smiling without realizing upon remembering them, and the fact that the boy is waiting for him back in their building makes Chanyeol work faster, the man knowing that the sooner he gets the work done, the sooner he can go back to Baekhyun.

However, as he's bringing the new supplies from the truck to the storage building, Chanyeol has a lot of time to think, and it's a given that his mind wanders to bad thoughts as well as the good ones.

It's almost immediately after his lunch break - that he fortunately spends with Baekhyun, the two of them eating together - that Chanyeol realizes that Baekhyun asking him not to go and then asking him to be back as fast as possible every time Chanyeol went somewhere wasn't only because he was missing Chanyeol, but also because he was afraid that Woohyun and Heojoon would come for him when Chanyeol wasn't even there. This fact hits Chanyeol right in the heart, and then it goes from there; he thinks about how scared Baekhyun must be right now too, he thinks about how Baekhyun had to use his mouth to pleasure someone while he had never even kissed anyone in his life, he thinks about how Baekhyun will have to do much more when the two assholes come back again. It hurts him, both that Baekhyun has to go through this and that Chanyeol can't even help the boy because he doesn't have the power to change anything. All he can do is give Baekhyun a momentary feeling of safety, and then, when Baekhyun's hurt, Chanyeol can offer his arms for comfort.

Isn't that simply saddening, that Chanyeol can't protect the person he loves so dearly? He wants no harm to come to Baekhyun, but reality is cruel, and while Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to stay free of pain, pain is all that Baekhyun experienced since he came here, and it's also everything that awaits him. Chanyeol can make him feel fine for a while, can make him feel like it's not as bad as it seems, but it's exactly that - it's just for a while, and Chanyeol _hates_ it. He wants to keep Baekhyun away from pain for the rest of the boy's days, not only for the few following days.

Unfortunately, Chanyeol is unable to give Baekhyun safety that lasts forever, but - while it's not much - he is able to make the best of the time spent with the boy in those few days while Woohyun and Heojoon are away, and by that, Chanyeol also means giving Baekhyun the best first time the boy could ever imagine.

Taking Baekhyun's virginity is on Chanyeol's mind _always._ It excites him, just as much as it scares him - Chanyeol doesn't know which more. He is happy that Baekhyun thinks of him as his special one and trusts Chanyeol enough to give the soldier his body, but at the same time, Chanyeol is afraid that afterwards, Baekhyun will regret his decision. To be honest, Chanyeol doesn't think that something like this would happen, but still, this stupid worry won't leave Chanyeol's head, among other things.

Chanyeol truly wants to give Baekhyun the best first time, and not only because of this being Baekhyun's first sexual experience - Chanyeol won't count the blowjob he was forced to give Woohyun because it disgusts him too much and it's simply _wrong._ The soldier wants this to be amazing because it's _Baekhyun_ , and Baekhyun deserves only the best. Besides, the boy has waited for too long, saving his virginity for someone whom he thought of special, and if that person is Chanyeol, then Chanyeol will take full responsibility and take care of Baekhyun.

With that in mind, Chanyeol works fast during the day, wanting to have it done as soon as possible, his body present but his mind not so much. However, he is doing a good job at fulfilling his task, so he doesn't have to feel guilty for spacing out from time to time, and thanks to his hard work, he even ends sooner than he expected - that being also partly because the rain has stopped, making it much easier to move around. Still though, counting all the supplies and then the new ones after bringing them to the storage room takes quite some time, which is why Chanyeol is surprised to find himself finishing just before dinner, making his way to the general's office to let him know that he's done before going to the kitchens to pick up the meal for him and Baekhyun.

The general dismisses him with a simple _good job_ , and while it sounds rather cold, the look in the old man's eyes is neutral and disinterested, so Chanyeol doesn't worry about it too much. Besides, his head is too full of Baekhyun now, so there's no space for worrying about another thing.

When he picks up dinner, Jongin is already back in the kitchens, but he seems to have a lot of work to do so Chanyeol doesn't bother him too much, only giving his friend a greeting as he comes and then bidding him goodbye as he walks out of the building with food in his hands, hoping that tomorrow they'll be able to exchange more than a handful of words. He would really like to talk with Jongin for real, given rather interesting things happened to him, and his best friend should know about them.

While walking back to his and Baekhyun's building, it starts raining again. It's not too bad, but with the faraway lighting and thunder, Chanyeol expects the same terrible storm as yesterday, and while he's not too happy about it, he is glad that, at least, it wasn't raining during the day while he was walking back and forth between the supply truck and the storage building - Chanyeol swears that he wouldn't have stopped cursing if it truly rained all day, because not only he would get all wet again, but it would definitely take much more time to get the job done, and thus, he also wouldn't have finished early and wouldn't be able to spend the evening with Baekhyun. And he really, really wants to be with Baekhyun already, his desire to be in the boy's presence getting stronger with every step Chanyeol takes toward their building, almost exploding when he finally opens the door - with some effort, since his both hands are preoccupied with the food trays..

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun's voice calls out the moment Chanyeol steps into the hall, sounding a little high-pitched and... panicked. It makes Chanyeol think about how Baekhyun told him that he's afraid of Woohyun and Heojoon being the ones who will step through that door instead of Chanyeol, and his heart clenches painfully yet again when he realizes that Baekhyun was scared this whole time while waiting for Chanyeol to return. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me," Chanyeol answers as he walks into the room, finding Baekhyun sitting on the edge of bed. When Baekhyun sees him, his whole face lights up, and it eases the pain in Chanyeol's heart a little to see Baekhyun's lips stretched into that pretty smile.

"Welcome back," Baekhyun says, and Chanyeol can't help but think about how domestic that sounds. However, Chanyeol would be much more glad if Baekhyun was saying this to him in a different kind of place, welcoming him back somewhere that could be consider their home, and not... here. Just imagining Baekhyun greeting him with _welcome home_ with that lovely voice of his makes Chanyeol's heart flutter. "Are you going away again, or are you finished?"

"I'm finished, so I'm not going anywhere," assuring him, Chanyeol walks over to Baekhyun and places a tender kiss on the boy's forehead before putting Baekhyun's tray on the bed-side table - which is in this exact place since lunch, because Chanyeol didn't bother to put it back in place and just left it there in front of the bed where Baekhyun usually eats his meals. "Did you sleep today?"

"A little, but I kept waking up," Baekhyun tells him, and Chanyeol doesn't need to be told more, already knowing the reason behind Baekhyun waking up. _He must have really been scared,_ Chanyeol thinks as he sits beside the boy, his own tray on his thighs. He wants to say that it'll be alright, but he knows it won't be, and besides, Baekhyun is too smart to believe the lie anyway, the boy knowing that unless a miracle happens, there is nobody and nothing to save him from the awaiting hell. Unlike Chanyeol, he didn't let himself be fooled with momentary happiness; he only let it comfort him.

"Eat well," Chanyeol says, changing the topic, not wanting to ruin the mood. Baekhyun seems to be happy now that Chanyeol is here with him - and Chanyeol is just as happy - so why ruin it with thinking about Woohyun and Heojoon.

"You too."

They eat their dinner in silence, only the sound of upcoming storm heard in the background. To some it might seem awkward, but Chanyeol feels... great. Even though it's quiet between them, it makes Chanyeol feel at ease, Baekhyun's presence alone creating a calm atmosphere, and he thinks that Baekhyun feels the same, judging by the smiles he throws in Chanyeol's direction from time to time. After spending most of the time without the other, they both feel fine with simply being together, no need to talk. It's comfortable.

The time it gets awkward comes after dinner though, when their trays are put away and the two of them just sit together on the bed, Baekhyun biting his lower lip as he glances at Chanyeol from under his eyelashes, the silent question in his eyes - _are we going to...?_ With how embarrassed Baekhyun is, afraid to ask the question out loud, Chanyeol feels a little embarrassed too, and also rather nervous all of sudden. The whole day, really the whole day, Chanyeol has been preparing for this very moment, ready to give Baekhyun the best first time, but now when he's sitting there beside the boy, he somehow feels all the confidence and bravery leaving him as it all downs upon him - he is Baekhyun's first real sexual experience. This could go amazing, but it could also go horribly wrong, and Chanyeol can't help but be quite scared as well.

Gulping, Chanyeol reaches for Baekhyun's hand, deciding that waiting more will only make them both more nervous. Baekhyun gets startled when Chanyeol touches him, jumping slightly in place and turning his head to Chanyeol, but his eyes don't meet Chanyeol's. "I'm nervous," the boy whispers, gluing his gaze to their hands.

"I know," Chanyeol whispers back. "I am too, but it's going to be fine, okay? Don't worry too much." Inching closer, Chanyeol cups Baekhyun's cheek with his other hand, caressing Baekhyun's cheekbone with his thumb. Still, Baekhyun doesn't look at him, but Chanyeol understands, and decides that after Baekhyun was strong for him so many times before, he's going to get his shit together and be the one who's strong now. It's his job to take care of Baekhyun, and he's not going to disappoint the boy when he has put so much trust into Chanyeol. Yes, Chanyeol is nervous, extremely so, but Baekhyun must be nervous - and scared - so much more, and as Baekhyun's... lover, Chanyeol should take care of him. Baekhyun's been taking care of Chanyeol until now, after all.

With that in mind, Chanyeol shifts even closer and kisses Baekhyun, his lips moving slowly against the boy's, both to ease Baekhyun's nerves and to tell him that if he wants to, he can push Chanyeol away any time, no pressure there. Much to Chanyeol's delight though, Baekhyun kisses him back right after their lips meet - a little hesitantly, but still - and Chanyeol takes it as a sign to continue, the soldier squeezing Baekhyun's hand as if to say _It's okay._ It seems to help because soon, Chanyeol doesn't feel Baekhyun trembling underneath his fingertips anymore, and while it's clear from the kiss that Baekhyun is still very stressed about this, it's a little better than before.

Pulling away slightly, Chanyeol asks carefully, "How do you want to do it?"

Immediately, Baekhyun's face reddens, and the boy looks down on their hands again, stuttering out, "I-I don't k-know." Again, he seems to come back to his full-on nervous state from before. "I'm n-not sure how-"

"Hey, breathe," Chanyeol cuts him of gently, kissing the top of Baekhyun's nose and lifting the boy's head back up, staring into the panicked blue eyes. He smiles at Baekhyun reassuringly, this time pecking the bow-shaped lips as he says, "I'll take care of you, okay? I just asked because I wanted to know if you had some idea in your head, no need to get stressed." Then, he lets go of Baekhyun's hand and circles an arm around Baekhyun's lower back, giving Baekhyun another short kiss. Truly, he is addicted to Baekhyun's lips - or more like, he's addicted to Baekhyun. "You just need to tell me if you don't like something. And don't hold back, I want to know."

"I will," Baekhyun nods slightly, and this time, it's him who kisses Chanyeol, making Chanyeol's heart jump in his chest. Baekhyun has gotten rather good in this, Chanyeol has to admit as he kisses back just as eagerly, and the realization that the reason behind Baekhyun's improved skills is them sharing quite a lot kisses in the recent few hours is making Chanyeol feel incredibly happy.

Not breaking the kiss, Chanyeol decides to move things further, and so, carefully, he slides his hand lower, his fingers tracing the curve of Baekhyun's bottom. It makes him think of the time Baekhyun fell on him and Chanyeol's hand accidentally fell to the same place it is now, and the soldier smiles internally at the memory. Even then he was affected by Baekhyun but refused to acknowledge it, going as far as forbidding himself to think of the boy in a sexual way, thinking that it's simply wrong to have dirty thoughts about Baekhyun. It's quite funny, how a month or so ago he wanted to punch himself whenever a not-innocent thought about Baekhyun crossed his mind, and now he's pulling Baekhyun into his lap, kissing the boy as if there was no tomorrow.

When Baekhyun is seated on top of his thighs, Chanyeol licks the boy's bottom lip and slides his tongue into Baekhyun's mouth, tangling one of his hands into Baekhyun's hair and letting the other one rest on Baekhyun's hip. Being able to touch Baekhyun like this is driving Chanyeol crazy, and the fact that there is so much to look forward to tonight is enough to send him into overdrive. His want - no, need - for Baekhyun gets stronger with every passing second, with every kiss they share, with every touch, and Chanyeol feels his body trembling with excitement, no traces of previous nervousness left. He just finally wants to have Baekhyun, all of him. It's not just a desire for the boy's body though, it's a desire for Baekhyun is a whole, and it's a whole new experience for Chanyeol, since he has never felt this way about anyone.

Pulling away from the kiss, Chanyeol moves lower, his lips brushing over Baekhyun's smooth cheek, then Baekhyun's jawline, and then finally stopping on Baekhyun's neck, Chanyeol not being able to resist the urge to suck on the skin there, his ears catching Baekhyun's shaky sigh as he works on the hickey. When he's done, he kisses the spot and pulls away, letting himself admire how gorgeous Baekhyun looks right now, thoroughly kissed with Chanyeol's mark on his pretty, long neck.

"You're beautiful," Chanyeol says it out loud too, wanting Baekhyun to know. He will never be able to put into words how mesmerizing Baekhyun is because no words will do it justice, but he hopes that Baekhyun knows how ethereal he is, at least in Chanyeol's eyes - and if he doesn't know, Chanyeol will let Baekhyun see tonight, if not in words, then with actions. He will make sure that every time he touches Baekhyun or kisses Baekhyun, the boy will feel the pure adoration in Chanyeol's actions, and every time he looks at Baekhyun, the boy will see the raw love in Chanyeol's eyes.

Chanyeol expects Baekhyun to oppose him, say something like _no I'm not_ , but to Chanyeol's surprise, the boy only smiles shyly and licks his already wet lips, placing his pretty hands on Chanyeol's shoulders before diving in for another kiss. Baekhyun kisses him slowly but with a lot of passion, and Chanyeol feels his cock twitching in his pants when Baekhyun presses his body against his more, moving from the top of Chanyeol's thighs to Chanyeol's lap and squirming a little there to make himself comfortable. Chanyeol moans into the kiss, his fingers gripping Baekhyun's hip tighter as the friction sends an electric bolt through his whole body, and it's then that Chanyeol feels himself losing it for real, his body becoming too hot with all the clothes on and his mind going blank safe only for the thoughts of Baekhyun.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol says after breaking the kiss. "Are you really sure about this?" Despite his whole body itching to touch Baekhyun more, Chanyeol doesn't want to proceed without knowing that Baekhyun is truly okay with all this, that he wants it too. If Baekhyun said _no_ right now, Chanyeol would stop because he would never force the boy into anything, but he needs to know the certain answer now while nothing has happened yet.

"I am," Baekhyun tells him, voice laced with the same desire Chanyeol feels in his heart. "I really am," he repeats, moving his hand to Chanyeol's neck while his other hand slides down on Chanyeol's chest. "But are _you_ sure? Do you really want me?" he asks, surprising Chanyeol with such a question. "It feels a little like I'm forcing you."

"You're not." Chanyeol shakes his head. "I want you," he says before letting his hand fall on Baekhyun's ass again, squeezing it slightly as he adds, "So much. I want you so much, Baekhyun." To make sure Baekhyun doesn't doubt his words, Chanyeol tugs at Baekhyun's hair the tiniest bit, tilting the boy's head to the side and placing a handful of butterfly kisses there. He knows Woohyun did the same yesterday, but he doesn't want Baekhyun to remember Woohyun kissing him like this; he wants Baekhyun to remember only Chanyeol, and the soldier hopes that like this, he will chase Baekhyun's bad memories away and will replace them with new ones, better ones. "I have never wanted someone as badly as I want you."

"Okay," Baekhyun breathes out. "I'm glad to hear that."

When that is settled, Chanyeol releases Baekhyun's hair and lets his other hand fall to Baekhyun's hips too. However, it doesn't stay there long, the soldier sneaking it under Baekhyun's sweater only a few short seconds later, touching the warm skin under the clothing and feeling as if though his fingertips were on fire as they dance across the smooth skin. He avoids Baekhyun's scar, knowing it's still not healed and that it would hurt Baekhyun if he touched it, but he lets his hand roam everywhere else, Baekhyun even letting out another soft sigh when Chanyeol brushes his fingers over his nipple.

"Can I take off your-"

"Yes," Baekhyun answers, not even letting Chanyeol finish his sentence, and Chanyeol can't help but smile fondly at the boy. Without another word, he reaches for the rim of Baekhyun's sweater and starts pulling it up, Baekhyun rising his arms so Chanyeol can take it off completely. The soldier throws the piece of clothing away then, aiming for the other side of the bed but not really caring if it lands on the bed in the end or on the floor, too preoccupied with staring at Baekhyun's bare upper body. Baekhyun is... skinny. Not extremely much, but still skinny, and his collarbones stand out way too much - Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun's collarbones were always quite visible from the very beginning, but it's obvious that now they stand out way more due to Baekhyun losing a lot of weight since coming here, and the soldier can't help but feel sad about it. It's not that Baekhyun isn't beautiful like this, it's just that Chanyeol hates that even after he tried so hard to get Baekhyun more food, it still wasn't enough.

Chanyeol realizes that he's been wordlessly staring at Baekhyun for too long only when Baekhyun tries to hide his body in embarrassment, one hand coming up to cover his chest and the other one lower to hide the scar. "Don't," Chanyeol quickly says, grabbing both of Baekhyun's wrists gently and attempting to pull Baekhyun's hands away. When Baekhyun shakes his head no, Chanyeol sighs.

"You hate it," Baekhyun mumbles, and when Chanyeol looks into his blue eyes, he sees that they are glassy.

"That's not true," Chanyeol argues. "I adore every part of your body," he continues, pulling at Baekhyun's wrists again. Now, Baekhyun doesn't protest, letting Chanyeol uncover him, but there are still unshed tears in his pretty orbs, and Chanyeol doesn't like it. "I mean it."

"You haven't even seen every part of my body," Baekhyun mumbles again, biting his lower lip. Chanyeol notices that he does it a lot when he's nervous or sad, but he doesn't want Baekhyun to be either now.

"It doesn't matter. I know that there is not a single imperfect thing about you," Chanyeol tells him before kissing him, arms circling around Baekhyun's bare waist, loving the warmth that radiates from the boy's skin. "Because you are perfect. I've already told you so, angel." He uses the nickname, knowing that Baekhyun likes it. "You are flawless."

"But-"

"Those are not flaws," Chanyeol tells him before Baekhyun can point to all of his bruises, cuts and scars that he gained since being brought here. "Nothing that is a part of you is a flaw. You are beautiful, everything about you is beautiful."

"Aren't you disgusted? At all?"

"No," Chanyeol answers honestly, bringing both of Baekhyun hands to his mouth and kissing them. "How could I be disgusted?" Putting Baekhyun's hands into his lap and kissing Baekhyun's cheek fondly, Chanyeol smiles at the beauty in front of him, hoping that his eyes will mirror the same affection that is in his heart. "You are what comes to my mind when I think of the word _perfect_." After that, Baekhyun's tears fall out of his eyes, and Chanyeol wipes them away gently, kissing Baekhyun's cheek then and hugging the boy, arms around Baekhyun's lower back again.

"I really like you so much," Baekhyun cries, his head falling on Chanyeol's shoulder as he tries to collect himself. Chanyeol doesn't hurry Baekhyun, letting the boy take all the time he needs while the soldier caresses his lower back with large palms, hoping it will help Baekhyun at least a little. After all, Baekhyun finds comfort in physical contact, so Chanyeol hopes it will work this time as well. "Chanyeol.." Baekhyun calls out his name, voice muffled a little because of Chanyeol's shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Make me yours tonight," the boy whispers in a voice so soft that Chanyeol's heart melts. "I want to be yours." And Chanyeol wants that badly as well, so he doesn't need to be told twice.

When he is sure that Baekhyun is fine again, Chanyeol kisses him on the lips before moving lower and kissing every single centimeter of Baekhyun's bare upper body, biting down gently here and there, leaving a trail of hickeys across Baekhyun's neck, shoulders, collarbones and chest. As he promised himself before, he makes sure that every time his lips touch Baekhyun skin it's as tender and as full of love as it can be, the colorful marks on Baekhyun representing Chanyeol's endless affection. Like an artist paints on their canvas, Chanyeol paints on Baekhyun, using his lips instead of a brush and creating constellations on the boy's skin, basking at his work afterwards.

Chanyeol undresses himself first before undressing Baekhyun, having a feeling that Baekhyun would be embarrassed again if he was naked and Chanyeol was still completely dressed. However, in the end, Baekhyun still feels embarrassed and almost starts comparing their bodies, but Chanyeol shushes him with another deep kiss, whispering praises into Baekhyun's mouth between the kisses so Baekhyun would forget all about wanting to point out the differences between them. It seems to work, judging by how Baekhyun relaxes in his arms again, letting himself be kissed and touched without pulling away from Chanyeol's hands because of feeling ugly or not good enough, for which Chanyeol is glad because Baekhyun is not only good enough, but he's the best.

When they are both completely naked, Baekhyun gets shy. _It's adorable_ , Chanyeol thinks and takes time to appreciate the blush on Baekhyun's cheeks before deciding he wants to see more, sneaking his hand between Baekhyun's legs and taking the boy's cock in his hand, making Baekhyun moan loudly. "C-Chanyeol," he stutters, and Chanyeol gets even harder when Baekhyun says his name like that, voiced laced with pleasure and head falling on Chanyeol's shoulder. If this wasn't Baekhyun, Chanyeol would waste no time with such a long foreplay, but this _is_ Baekhyun, and Baekhyun deserves this. He deserves to have a long foreplay that will drive him crazy before they even move on to the real thing, and he deserves the best and kindest treatment that Chanyeol is trying so badly to give him.

"Does it feel good?" Chanyeol asks in a whisper, breath ghosting over Baekhyun's neck. When Baekhyun shivers, Chanyeol can't help but smile, inhaling the boy's scent and feeling his senses going numb from the beautiful scent.

"Yes," Baekhyun chokes out, moaning into Chanyeol's ear quietly. Chanyeol loves the sounds Baekhyun makes, truly; the soft moans creating the prettiest melody, just like Baekhyun's shaky intakes of breaths and then equally shaky exhales.

Not having enough even now because Baekhyun somehow always makes him thirsty for more, Chanyeol lets his hand work on Baekhyun's cock, pumping the boy's length agonizingly slowly at first before speeding up a little, spreading the pre-cum with the precise motions of his hand. Baekhyun's moans get louder, the boy digging his nails into Chanyeol's shoulders when the soldier circles the tip of his shaft with his thumb before pumping his cock again, and Chanyeol finds himself enjoying this way too much, which is quite surprising because he has never liked giving hand jobs to his partners, not really seeing the appeal since he himself was hard and needed attention. However, with Baekhyun it's so, so different. With Baekhyun, Chanyeol feels as if he was pleasuring himself despite his own cock being untouched, the heavenly sounds that Baekhyun lets through his lips making him feel like it's worth to give special attention to the boy and push his own painful erection aside for a longer while .

Since Baekhyun is a virgin, it doesn't come as a surprise when the boy warns Chanyeol that he's about to come merely four or so minutes later. "Then come," Chanyeol whispers in response, kissing Baekhyun's hair and moving his hand faster, whispering sweet nothings into Baekhyun's ear the whole time, Chanyeol's little confessions accompanying Baekhyun through his orgasm. Baekhyun digs his finger nails into Chanyeol's skin without knowing that he's already drawing blood as he comes, but Chanyeol doesn't mention it, not minding the pain. Just like he marked Baekhyun with hickeys, Baekhyun marks him like this, and Chanyeol is more happy about the marks than angry - or anything similar to it. As stupid as it sounds, Chanyeol treasures the nail-marks as much as he treasures the scream of his name that falls out of Baekhyun's mouth when the boy comes, painting both of their stomachs white.

Chanyeol holds Baekhyun close while the boy comes down from his orgasm, planting open-mouthed kisses on Baekhyun's shoulder and neck as Baekhyun clings to him, breathing heavily into Chanyeol's ear. The boy's heartbeat is so rapid that Chanyeol can feel it against his own because of their pressed-together chests, and when he realizes that he did this, that he made Baekhyun's heart beat so intensely, Chanyeol feels ecstatic and strangely proud of himself.

"How was it?" the soldier asks when Baekhyun stills in his hold a few seconds later, his hand caressing Baekhyun's lower back. Again, like so many times before, Chanyeol can't believe how smooth Baekhyun's skin is. "Was it good?"

"It was-" Baekhyun breathes out shakily, burying his head in the crook of Chanyeol's neck. "-amazing," he says in the end and nuzzles his nose into Chanyeol's skin. It tingles a little, but Chanyeol's whole body is tingling by now, so it's not like it's something new. "I hurt you," Baekhyun whispers after a beat of silence, his slender fingers carefully grazing over the marks on Chanyeol's shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Chanyeol tells Baekhyun. "I didn't even feel it."

"I'm still sorry," Baekhyun mumbles and pulls away a little, Chanyeol's heart doing a double flip inside of his ribcage upon seeing Baekhyun's half-lidded eyes and red, wet lips. Because of the sweat, Baekhyun's hair is sticking to his forehead a little and his face is glistening in the light, and Chanyeol finds himself unable to look away, eyes glued to the perfection in front of him. Like so many times before, Chanyeol thinks about how beautiful Baekhyun is, from inside out, and he hopes that Baekhyun sees the love in his eyes. He truly wants Baekhyun to see it.

Instead of saying anything, Chanyeol leans forward and kisses Baekhyun, wrapping both of his arms around the boy's waist again, not caring that his hand is dirty. Besides, they will get much dirtier tonight, so it doesn't really matter. "Do you want to continue?" Chanyeol asks after a while, wanting to make sure once more.

"Y-Yes," Baekhyun nods with determination and anticipation in his blue orbs. However, Chanyeol can also sense fear from the boy, and as he lays Baekhyun on the bed carefully - stomach down, because there is no way Baekhyun can lie on his back - Chanyeol pampers Baekhyun's shoulder blades with another dose of kisses, whispering into the boy's ears that he'll take care of him, to which Baekhyun nods again and lets himself be manhandled, putting his full trust into Chanyeol. "Don't you mind?" Baekhyun asks suddenly, slender fingers gripping the sheets when Chanyeol runs his hand up and down the boy's inner thighs, spreading Baekhyun's legs apart slightly.

Baekhyun tenses and bites his lip upon feeling too exposed, but soon relaxes again when Chanyeol pecks his shoulder and then licks a stripe up his neck, not stopping until he reaches Baekhyun's ear. "Mind what?" Chanyeol asks, not able to keep the desire out of his voice anymore. His cock is throbbing painfully by now, his whole existence itching to become one with Baekhyun.

"The scars," Baekhyun murmurs sadly. "They are all over me."

"I couldn’t care less," Chanyeol answers honestly. Yes, the sight of Baekhyun's scarred back - that's not even healed yet - is making Chanyeol feel a lot of things, but disgust is not one of them. He feels sorry that Baekhyun had to go through this, and he feels anger that Heojoon dared to hurt Baekhyun so much, but he doesn't feel disgusted, not by far. If those scars where healed, Chanyeol would even pamper them with kisses to let Baekhyun know just how much he doesn't care about them - if something, he loves them, just because they are part of Baekhyun, and Chanyeol could never dislike a single thing about the boy. "They don't make you any less beautiful." The answer seems to satisfy Baekhyun, the boy smiling slightly and closing his eyes, and Chanyeol feels a smile appearing on his lips as well upon the sight of Baekhyun's content expression. "Relax, okay?"

"Okay," Baekhyun says, taking a deep inhale and then exhaling just as deeply, listening to Chanyeol and making himself comfortable on the bed, relaxing his body completely. However, when he feels Chanyeol standing up from the bed, the boy opens his eyes immediately, alert. "W-Where are you going?" he asks, ready to heave himself up from the bed as well, but Chanyeol pushes him back down gently before Baekhyun can do that.

"I'm not leaving, don't worry," Chanyeol tells him, quickly walking over to the wardrobe and opening it with his clean hand, bending down to pick a small bottle of one of the healing ointments he used for Baekhyun's injuries before. It's not the best choice of lubricant, but it's the best choice out of the things Chanyeol has in his possession - it isn't a toxic substance that could hurt Baekhyun if used, and it will definitely help to minimalize the pain.

When Chanyeol turns around after closing the wardrobe again, he catches Baekhyun's eyes that are scanning him from head to toe, a deep blush on the boy's cheeks. It makes Chanyeol blush too, and it's so strange and new for Chanyeol because he has never felt nervous about his body before, always being pretty confident about his physique. However, now as Baekhyun is looking at him so intensely, Chanyeol starts to wonder if the boy likes what he sees, if he thinks of Chanyeol's body the same way as Chanyeol thinks of Baekhyun's, or if he expected something better and is now disappointed.

The shy smile Baekhyun gifts him with after finally meeting Chanyeol's gaze is enough to tell Chanyeol that his worries were unnecessary, because Baekhyun is definitely more than satisfied with Chanyeol's body.

As Chanyeol climbs back on the bed, he spreads Baekhyun's legs more after opening the bottle and asks, "Can you... like.." Chanyeol gulps, a little embarrassed to say the words out loud, and so instead of talking, he taps on Baekhyun's hip with his two fingers, indicating that he wants Baekhyun to push his ass up into the air a little. He would place a pillow under Baekhyun's stomach if Baekhyun wasn't injured there, but as it is now, it would only hurt the boy if he did that.

"Y-Yeah," Baekhyun does as he's told, bending his knees a little and heaving his bottom from the mattress, hiding his face into the pillow upon realizing that Chanyeol is right behind him and can see _everything._ However, Chanyeol eases the boy's worries again with sweet kisses, this time the soldier's plush lips worshiping the skin of Baekhyun's sides, traveling down until they are on the boy's thighs. Chanyeol loves how Baekhyun shivers the slightest bit every time Chanyeol kisses him, the soldier falling in love even more.

"It's going to be a little cold," Chanyeol warns Baekhyun, opening the bottle and getting some of the substance on his fingers. Then, he puts the bottle by the bed, not bothering to close it because he knows he'll be needing it soon again, and brushes his lubricated fingers over Baekhyun's hole, feeling his cock twitch and heart jump in his chest as Baekhyun moans quietly, tensing a little because of the cold before relaxing again. "Can I?" the soldier asks after smearing the substance around Baekhyun's hole, making sure no a single millimeter doesn't stay dry.

"Mhmm," Baekhyun only hums in approval, fingers gripping the sheets tightly.

"Tell me if it hurts," Chanyeol tells him before he starts inserting his middle finger inside the hole slowly, his throat going dry as he sees his finger disappearing inside of Baekhyun. However, he doesn't push it all the way, glancing at Baekhyun to see if the boy's fine. "Okay?" he questions, stopping his movement.

"I-It's just a little.. strange," Baekhyun chokes out. "But fine... You can g-go on."

And so, Chanyeol carefully does, letting his finger disappear deep inside of Baekhyun, the walls around his digit tightening even more and making Chanyeol feel like he's already about to come right now, untouched, just upon realizing that in a few minutes, it'll be his own pulsating length inside of Baekhyun instead of just his mere finger. The imagine arouses Chanyeol so much that he sees stars.

For a moment, Chanyeol lets his finger be still inside of Baekhyun, but then he starts pulling it out again before he pushes it back, careful not to go too fast. Baekhyun starts to tremble slightly again, his expression scrunched up into a grimace, and it's clear that he's trying to get used to the intrusion. Chanyeol decides to help, and while he wanted so badly to stroke his own cock with his other hand to ease the throbbing pain at least a little, he gets a hold of Baekhyun's shaft instead, telling himself that Baekhyun comes first.

Moving his finger in sync with the strokes of Baekhyun's cock, the walls around his digit slowly but surely loosen, giving Chanyeol an opportunity to insert a second finger. And so, just as carefully as before, Chanyeol adds another finger, pampering Baekhyun with kisses the whole time, knowing that Baekhyun likes it. However, it helps only a little, Chanyeol hearing Baekhyun whimper in pain a lot anyway, and he feels guilty for hurting the boy even though he is well aware that they can't have sex without it hurting at least a little, especially since Baekhyun is a virgin. "You're doing great," Chanyeol praises Baekhyun as he stretches the boy's hole, but when he gets only another whimper in response, he decides that he doesn't like the way Baekhyun squirms on the bed that much, and not because of the pleasure.

Letting go of Baekhyun's length, Chanyeol reaches for the bottle on the floor again, pouring a generous amount of it between Baekhyun's ass cheeks as he pushes his fingers in and out continuously. Baekhyun shudders because of the sudden cold, but the lubricant seems to work and while Baekhyun still doesn't look comfortable, he doesn't seem to be in that much pain anymore. "Are you in pain?" Chanyeol asks to make sure. If Baekhyun's answer was _yes_ , he would slow down more.

"A little," is Baekhyun's answer, and while Chanyeol would be much more happier if Baekhyun wasn't in pain at all, this is good enough as well. "You can go faster."

"Baekhyun..." Chanyeol sighs. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not hurting me. I just.. want more already. I want to make you feel good too," Baekhyun says, his voice breaking at the last syllable as Chanyeol twists his fingers inside of him. "Don't you want it as well already?"

"I want this to be as painless as possible for you. I can wait," with that said, Chanyeol twists his fingers again, hoping that this time it will be more pleasurable than painful. Much to his delight, his fingers finally find the bundle of nerves inside of Baekhyun's body that he was searching for, and the moment Chanyeol's digits brush over Baekhyun's prostate, the boy moans loudly, his body having a brain of its own as it pushes against Chanyeol's fingers, desperate to experience the feeling again. "You like it?" Chanyeol asks teasingly, moving his fingers again, loving the way Baekhyun's breath hitches. Finally, he hears something else than pained sounds coming out of Baekhyun's mouth.

"D-Do that again," Baekhyun begs, and Chanyeol is truly in love with the way Baekhyun turns his head to look at him with that needy glint in his half-lidded eyes. It's beautiful, especially in combination with the blush that is coloring not only the boy's cheeks, but also his ears and neck.

Not being able to resist such pretty pleas, Chanyeol listens to Baekhyun and does the same thing again, enjoying how the boy moans loudly and closes his eyes in pleasure, gripping the sheets and pulling on them. Just watching Baekhyun writhing on the bed like this makes Chanyeol aroused beyond belief, but those whiny moans are what's topping it all off for real, Chanyeol's already erect cock getting harder every time his ears catch even the quietest of sounds escaping Baekhyun's lips. It's painful how hard he is by now, but he refuses to let it sway him - this night is about Baekhyun, and there is no way Chanyeol will put himself and his needs first, even though these needs are killing him, his desire for Baekhyun being too overwhelming. However, he tries to ignore his cock that's begging for attention and focuses himself fully on preparing Baekhyun instead, adding another finger in after the walls around his two digits loosen.

Again, Baekhyun seems uncomfortable at first, the moans of pleasure mixing with occasional hisses of pain, but soon the expression that was scrunched up in discomfort disappears and changes into one of satisfaction - Baekhyun has his eyes closed, cheeks, ears and neck flushed, his mouth is slightly open, pretty pink lips sometimes even quivering from the pleasure, and Chanyeol takes it all in, memorizing every single detail. Baekhyun is simply mesmerizing, and Chanyeol can't help but lean in and kiss the boy, the urge to taste those lips again too great to ignore. Baekhyun kisses back messily but pulls away a second later when Chanyeol moves his fingers again, the soldier thrusting into the boy's hole and hitting the very spot that makes Baekhyun squirm, feeling blessed afterwards for being able to see Baekhyun like this. It's truly a sight to behold, and it makes Chanyeol kiss Baekhyun once more, then again, and then again, until there is no oxygen left in his lungs and he has to break the kiss in order to take a breath.

"If y-you want you can-... you know," Baekhyun stutters, looking away from Chanyeol in embarrassment. "I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" Chanyeol asks.

"I am," Baekhyun nods his head slightly, licking his lips before he finds the courage to glance up at Chanyeol again. "I can't be more ready." And Chanyeol believes him, the look in Baekhyun's unwavering eyes enough to tell Chanyeol that the boy is serious and is not just foolishly trying to be brave again.

"Okay," the soldier says, pulling out his fingers and helping Baekhyun sit up, careful not to stretch Baekhyun's back too much in the process. Then, he reaches for the bottle beside the bed and pours the semi-liquid in his hand, coating his cock with it afterwards and biting the insides of his cheeks to keep himself from sighing in pleasure. It's the first time today he touched himself after all, and his body reacts to it immediately, to nobody's surprise. "Come here." Chanyeol wraps an arm around Baekhyun's waist, pulling Baekhyun closer and seating the boy on his thighs again, just like in the beginning. "Promise me you'll let me know if you're in too much pain. Don't hold it in for whatever reason."

"I promise," Baekhyun swears, his pretty hands coming to rest on Chanyeol's shoulders. The touch sends a shiver down Chanyeol's spine right away, making the soldier's hate rate quicken. "Just.. let's do it already."

"Are you nervous?" Chanyeol questions, rubbing circles into Baekhyun's hip.

"...Scared," Baekhyun admits quietly, his head falling on Chanyeol's shoulder. "Not because I think you'd hurt me or something like that, it's just- I don't know... I'm sorry."

"You don't have to explain yourself, I get it." Kissing Baekhyun's neck, Chanyeol tells the boy, "It's okay to be scared. And besides, it's also your first time, so being afraid isn't that strange." Baekhyun doesn't say anything, only wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's neck and brushing his button nose over the soldier's jaw, heaving a sad sigh. "If you want to stop now, you can tell me. I won't be angry with you. We can always continue tomorrow-"

"No," Baekhyun cuts him off, voice ringing with finality. "I want it now, I really do. You said it yourself - it's normal to be scared, right?"

"But sometimes people are scared because they aren't ready," Chanyeol says. "And I don't want to do this unless you are hundred percent sure."

"I am sure." To prove his words, Baekhyun shifts closer, moving from Chanyeol's thighs to his lap, and Chanyeol moans lowly as Baekhyun presses against him, placing a soft kiss right under his jaw. "I want you to do this," Baekhyun whispers, perfectly aware of Chanyeol's erection as he grinds against the older, making Chanyeol bite the insides of his cheeks yet again. "I really want you to make love to me, Chanyeol." The words _make love_ make Chanyeol's heart jump in his chest, for he definitely didn't expect Baekhyun to phrase it like that. He expected Baekhyun to stutter again maybe, but this? It came as a complete surprise, leaving Chanyeol shocked. "So... can we just.. get to it already? Because I'll just get more scared the more we wait, I can tell."

And so, Chanyeol listens to Baekhyun, not bothering to ask once again if Baekhyun is sure about this or not, since the boy has stated his answer clearly multiple times. Instead of asking if Baekhyun really wants to do this, Chanyeol heaves Baekhyun up a little, saying, "Don't be afraid to tell me you need some time if it hurts too much." After seeing Baekhyun nod, Chanyeol directs his cock to Baekhyun's hole, his grip on the boy's hip tightening as pleasure strikes his whole body just from this mere physical contact. How will Chanyeol even be able to last, when he's already so out of it now?

Slowly, very slowly, Chanyeol starts pushing in, holding back the moan that was close to escaping his lips the very moment the tip of his shaft disappeared inside of Baekhyun. Baekhyun is so tight and warm that it makes Chanyeol's head spin, and while the soldier wants to push all the way in in a one quick thrust because his body is aching to do so, Chanyeol doesn't dare to listen to his needs, since it would definitely hurt Baekhyun. Instead, he doesn't move at all for a moment even though it's killing him, and then slides in deeper just the tiniest bit a few seconds later, stopping again right away when Baekhyun's grip on his shoulders tightens and the boy lets out a pained, quiet cry.

"Does it hurt too much?" Chanyeol questions, caressing Baekhyun's hip. "Should I go slower?"

"J-Just-" Baekhyun chokes out, breathing out shakily. "Just a little."

"Okay."

While whispering numerous praises into Baekhyun's ear and kissing the boy everywhere he can reach from this position, Chanyeol pushes in only a few more millimeters before stopping again and waiting for Baekhyun to adjust. It's true that it's difficult to hold back, but Chanyeol would never be able to hurt Baekhyun, and definitely not in such an intimate situation. Baekhyun has put all of his trust into Chanyeol, and Chanyeol will not disappoint or hurt Baekhyun at such a vulnerable moment.

When he's almost all in, he can hear Baekhyun sniffle a little, the boy burying his head in the crook of Chanyeol's neck and breathing heavily. Soon, Chanyeol can also feel wetness on his shoulder, and his heart hurts when he realizes that Baekhyun is crying, not being able to handle the pain even though Chanyeol is being as gentle as possible. "It's okay," the soldier whispers against Baekhyun's neck, kissing the skin there softly. "You're doing great, angel. Just a little more."

"It hurts," Baekhyun says quietly, sniffling again.

"Do you want to stop?" asking, Chanyeol caresses the boy's thigh, non-verbally telling him it's okay if he decides he doesn't want to continue.

"No." The boy shakes his head slightly. "I definitely don't want to." Baekhyun might be saying that, but Chanyeol has quite a hard time believing him, the strained voice not exactly matching his words. "Really," Baekhyun adds, probably feeling Chanyeol's hesitance.

"I'm hurting you," Chanyeol tells him sadly, hating the feel of Baekhyun's tear drops falling on his shoulder. He knew it was going to be painful, but he truly thought he prepared Baekhyun enough, and that he also lubricated himself enough for it not to hurt that much. Maybe he should have done more.

"But you'll make me feel good soon too, right?" Baekhyun asks, but it's more like he's reminding Chanyeol of the fact instead of asking for himself. "So don't stop," the boy orders, a hint of smile in his voice. "Let's get to the good part together."

The word _together_ at the end of Baekhyun's sentence makes Chanyeol realize that this night isn't only about Baekhyun - as Chanyeol thought it was - but it's about _them, together._ It's not simply about taking Baekhyun's virginity and giving Baekhyun a good first time, no; It's about them sleeping together, becoming one and enjoying it to the fullest - both of them, not only Baekhyun or only Chanyeol. That's what Baekhyun wants; he doesn't want to lose his virginity just like that, he wants to lose it with Chanyeol.

It's about the two of them, together, and somehow, the realization makes Chanyeol's heart flutter.

"...Continue?" Baekhyun offers after some time when Chanyeol just keeps quiet and unmoving, and he pulls away a little to look at the man and see if Chanyeol's alright, not liking the silence right now. However, the moment he pulls away, Chanyeol captures Baekhyun's lips in a deep kiss, and despite the subtle saltiness of the tears, the kiss tastes sweet, just like it always does.

"You're so amazing," Chanyeol whispers between the kisses, and as was requested of him, he resumes moving, letting Baekhyun down on his cock slowly, sliding deeper into the tight heat. Baekhyun breaks the kiss then and sighs shakily against Chanyeol's lips, resting his forehead against the soldier's when Chanyeol is all in, and Chanyeol wraps both of his arms securely around the boy's lower back, saying, "You're the best." Baekhyun chuckles, probably thinking that Chanyeol is just saying it, but Chanyeol truly means it - there is not a single person that is better in his eyes than Baekhyun. "Let's lie down, okay?"

"Mhmm," is Baekhyun's only response, the boy squirming slightly in Chanyeol's lap to make himself comfortable there, oblivious to the fact that this sudden movement of his hips is making Chanyeol go crazy.

Gulping down the moan that was threatening to escape Chanyeol's lips, the soldier carefully lies down on his back, falling to the mattress with Baekhyun on top of him. "Are you alright?" he asks, one of his hands coming up and tangling itself into Baekhyun's hair, fingers playing with the soft locks.

"Yeah," Baekhyun replies, snuggling into Chanyeol's chest. "Everything's... amazing." The way Baekhyun says it, with so much affection and content, makes Chanyeol smile, and he squeezes the boy in his arms more in happiness. "Try moving a little."

"So soon?"

"I can't wait anymore," Baekhyun tells him, and Chanyeol can't really oppose the boy, since he shares those feelings with Baekhyun wholeheartedly. He's been having a difficult time holding back all this time, but since Baekhyun is giving him a green light now, Chanyeol will gladly go ahead and finally make Baekhyun his for real. Until now, it was mostly painful for the boy, and Chanyeol can't wait to take Baekhyun up to cloud nine and make him feel good.

Carefully and slowly, Chanyeol starts moving, pulling out all the way before sliding back in, holding Baekhyun close as the boy clenches his jaw and tightens his hold on Chanyeol's shoulders. It must hurt, Chanyeol knows, but he also knows that later on this pain will be forgotten, and it's making Chanyeol feel a little less guilty about putting Baekhyun through this.

"You're so big," Baekhyun whispers after a few slow thrusts, and Chanyeol's face catches fire the very moment those words leave Baekhyun's mouth. Chanyeol has never felt insecure about his physical appearance or intimate parts - he has always been quite proud of his body - but hearing Baekhyun praise him like this boosts Chanyeol's self-esteem to the skies, the soldier feeling as giddy and aroused as he feels embarrassed after such a comment.

"Does it still hurt?" Chanyeol asks instead of addressing what Baekhyun has said, placing a kiss into the boy's hair.

"A little, but not too much," Baekhyun answers, and this time - to Chanyeol's great surprise - it's Baekhyun himself who moves on Chanyeol's shaft, pushing his ass down and taking in all of Chanyeol, moaning half in pleasure and half in pain as Chanyeol's length hits his prostate. Then, Baekhyun heaves himself up on his elbows, looking down at Chanyeol with half-lidded eyes and flushes cheeks, and Chanyeol swear he has never seen a face more ethereal. He has been struck by Baekhyun's beauty so many times by now, and yet, it is as intense as the very first time he looked at Baekhyun and felt his legs giving out at the sight.

Not being able to hold back any longer, Chanyeol adjusts his grip on Baekhyun's hip and holds on tight as he thrusts into the tight heat, moaning lowly in pleasure, his ears blessed by the pretty, surprised scream Baekhyun lets out of his mouth. "O-Once more," Baekhyun says immediately, his blue eyes shining with desire as he looks at Chanyeol, and Chanyeol listens to the request gladly, thrusting in once more with the same intensity, hitting Baekhyun's prostate and making Baekhyun scream again, the boy's voice echoing off the walls. For Chanyeol's ears, it's the best melody he has ever heard in his life. "Feels good," Baekhyun mumbles, his head falling on Chanyeol's shoulder again, the boy not being able to hold himself up.

"It'll feel even better," Chanyeol promises, moving inside of Baekhyun with precision, trying to hit Baekhyun's sweet spot with every thrust to get rid of any pain Baekhyun might still feel. It seems that it's working, since it only takes a few seconds for Baekhyun's voice to sound completely free of discomfort and full of pleasure, and Chanyeol loves it. He loves the way Baekhyun's moans are so long and sometimes even whiny, he loves the way Baekhyun's breath hitches when Chanyeol thrusts to deep, he loves the way Baekhyun exhales shakily when Chanyeol gives him time to take a short break to collect himself, the boy breathing on Chanyeol's lips and sending shivers down Chanyeol's spine - he simply loves _everything,_ and it would take too long to name all the little details that will be stuck in Chanyeol's head after this night.

"C-Chanyeol I- _ah_ ," Baekhyun manages to choke out, but his words change into yet another moan as Chanyeol pulls out completely before slamming in, not holding back now that he knows that Baekhyun isn't hurting and that his tight hole is welcoming every single one of Chanyeol's thrusts. Still though, despite his mind being clouded with the need to reach his peak and help Baekhyun reach another one too, Chanyeol is careful not to be too rough, being aware of Baekhyun's state and injuries. Baekhyun's walls might be loosened up around Chanyeol's cock by now, but there are still scars on Baekhyun's back that restrict the boy from moving too much, and while the other scar on Baekhyun's stomach is healing quicker than expected, it's still not healed completely and thus too much friction wouldn't help it. Taking all that into consideration, Chanyeol always makes sure that Baekhyun is alright before he moves again, sliding his length back into Baekhyun and enjoying the sound Baekhyun makes afterwards.

Chanyeol would say that he has a pretty good stamina and can hold it in long enough, but just like with everything else, even this is different with Baekhyun, the soldier feeling his orgasm approaching way sooner than expected. On one hand, Chanyeol is shocked by the realization, since he has always been able to last quite long, but on the other hand, he knows he shouldn't be surprised at all, given that he's with Baekhyun - of course his ability to hold it in won't be as good as usual.

Baekhyun's skin is smooth, velvety-like, and Chanyeol can't help but run his hands up and down Baekhyun's thighs, hips and lower back, going crazy because of the silky skin underneath his fingertips. This combined with the heavenly sounds Baekhyun makes and the way his pretty hands touch Chanyeol's shoulders and arms is enough to make Chanyeol see stars, but it's only a few seconds later that he sees the whole universe as Baekhyun's walls tighten around his cock, the boy stuttering out, "I'm a-about to- _ah-_ " but before Baekhyun can even finish, both of their stomachs are paint with white yet again, the boy coming for the second time today, Chanyeol's name on his lips.

With Baekhyun so incredibly tight around his length, it's impossible for Chanyeol to hold back his own orgasm, and it's only a beat later that the soldier follows Baekhyun's suit, reaching his peak and throwing his head back as he comes inside of Baekhyun. He knows that he should have at least asked if he can come inside, but Chanyeol's head was so filled with endless pleasure and just _Baekhyun_ that he forgot about asking first, not being able to last any longer, especially not when Baekhyun was whispering his name over and over again in that beautiful voice of his. He just hopes that Baekhyun won't mind, or even worse, won't be angry.

Judging by the needy and deep kiss Chanyeol receives the moment he turns his head back to Baekhyun, Baekhyun doesn't seem to mind though.

And of course, Chanyeol kisses back with the same passion, coming down from his high while being tongue-tied with the boy, his hands caressing Baekhyun's back and bottom because even after all of this, Chanyeol doesn't have enough of Baekhyun's smooth skin. "Did you enjoy it?" Chanyeol asks with a smile on his lips when he breaks the kiss, bumping his nose against Baekhyun's as he stares deeply into those ocean eyes.

Baekhyun returns the smile, his face flushed and hair sticking to his forehead, and Chanyeol's heart jumps. _What a beautiful sight,_ Chanyeol thinks, not being able to resist the urge to caress Baekhyun's cheek and kiss the boy once more when Baekhyun says, "I loved it."

This time, the kiss is slower, and Chanyeol lets himself melt into it, holding Baekhyun close by the boy's slim waist while his other hand is cupping Baekhyun's cheek, his palm - just like the rest of his body - on fire because of the warmth that's radiating from Baekhyun. It feels like he's holding his whole world in his arms, and maybe... maybe it's true.

 _...It's definitely true,_ Chanyeol corrects himself right away as Baekhyun falls on his chest, the boy placing a soft kiss there before he exhales deeply and relaxes, saying, "You're the best, Chanyeol."

Their hearts beat in unison, becoming one just like Chanyeol has been dreaming of.

They are both dirty, and while Chanyeol would very much like to let Baekhyun sleep like the boy is begging him to, they definitely can't go to sleep like this. They are sweaty and not only their bodies, but the bed too, is covered in their cum, and Chanyeol is definitely not falling asleep like that - and he's not letting Baekhyun do it either. However, he is well aware that Baekhyun won't be persuaded that easily, and so, he offers, "We could take a bath together if you want to."

Immediately, Baekhyun perks up. "Do you mean it?" he asks, his eyes sparkling prettily. Chanyeol can completely understand the boy's enthusiasm, since Baekhyun has been begging Chanyeol to let him take a bath for the past four days, his request not accepted by Chanyeol even once, the soldier always telling him that it's not safe because of his condition and injuries. Baekhyun was always sulky afterwards for a few minutes, but he too understood very well that if his wounds aren't healed, the bath would only hurt him - although knowing this still didn't stop him from asking multiple times a day, Baekhyun repeating his request every time after a meal despite being aware that he was going to receive the same answer.

"Yeah," Chanyeol says, stroking Baekhyun's hair. "Don't you think you need one?"

"I definitely do."

And with that, they both get up from the bed, leaving the mess and dirty sheets behind as they stand up. However, the moment Baekhyun stands up his legs give out, Chanyeol quickly catching the boy before he falls down on the ground. "Easy there," Chanyeol tells him with a smile, holding him up. At first, he wants to just help Baekhyun walk to the bathroom, but then an idea strikes him, and before Baekhyun can put up a fight, Chanyeol heaves him from the ground, only saying, "Hold on to me."

Baekhyun yelps and tells Chanyeol to put him down, saying that he feels like a child for being carried like that, but Chanyeol doesn't listen to him at all, even tightening his hold and adjusting his arms to make sure Baekhyun won't fall along the way - he moves forward only when both the arm around Baekhyun's lower back and the arm under Baekhyun's bottom are secure, the boy left with no other choice but to wrap his arms around Chanyeol's shoulders and his legs around Chanyeol's waist, holding on as Chanyeol told him to. "You're carrying me like I'm a toddler," Baekhyun mumbles, but despite his protests, he relaxes and lets is head fall on Chanyeol's shoulder, his nose brushing over Chanyeol's neck.

Only smiling in response, Chanyeol walks out of the room and makes his way to the bathroom, enjoying the feel of Baekhyun's warm breath on his skin - it tickles in the most pleasant way possible, and Chanyeol's knees almost buckle when Baekhyun whispers something about Chanyeol smelling good a second later, the boy inhaling his scent and then exhaling deeply. How can Baekhyun do this to him? Does he not realize how affected Chanyeol is every time Baekhyun as much as looks at him? His legs are feeling like jelly already because of the sense-numbing orgasm, and Baekhyun being like this definitely isn't helping. If anything, it only makes Chanyeol's heart race more, the soldier's face turning red after such compliments.

"I won't let you be in bath too long though," Chanyeol says as he steps into the bathroom with Baekhyun in his arms.

"Because it's not good for my condition," Baekhyun completes Chanyeol's sentence, and although Chanyeol can't see the boy's face, he knows that Baekhyun is either rolling his eyes or pouting. Or both. "I know, you've said it already... multiple times."

"You kept asking, that's why you always got the same answer," Chanyeol reminds Baekhyun, letting the boy down on a chair in the middle of the room. "I'll prepare the water, wait a little." That said, Chanyeol places a kiss on Baekhyun's forehead, ruffling the already messy locks before he turns around and starts preparing the bath, feeling a little embarrassed because of Baekhyun's gaze that's on him the whole time. As Chanyeol stated before; he has never or ashamed of his body, but now it's _Baekhyun_ who is staring at him, not some random one night stand, and that changes things quite a lot - in front of Baekhyun, Chanyeol feels shy like never before, even though they have both seen each other’s bodies already.

It takes a few minutes to fill the bathtub with water, but when it's finally done, Chanyeol walks over to Baekhyun again with a towel in his hand, saying, "I'll clean you up a little before we get in."

"Okay," Baekhyun nods, tilting his head to the side and continuing to stare at Chanyeol as the soldier starts wiping of the cum from Baekhyun's body, his face slightly red because of the intense gaze Baekhyun is gifting him with. "You know," Baekhyun starts suddenly, making Chanyeol look up, their eyes meeting. They stare at each other in silence for a while, Chanyeol anticipating Baekhyun's next words and wondering about what the boy wants to say, but never in his dreams would he ever expect Baekhyun to tell him, "You are really handsome."

Eyes going wide, Chanyeol stutters out in surprise, "W-What-"

"Why do you look so shocked?" Baekhyun questions. "You keep throwing compliments at me but when I do it, you're surprised. Can't I tell you you're good-looking, or what?" Baekhyun purses is lips, killing Chanyeol yet again. Truly, Chanyeol loves Baekhyun's lips so much, and he enjoys looking at them as much as he enjoys kissing them.

"Y-You can," Chanyeol gulps. "It was just quite... unexpected." As the shock wears off, there is only a warm feeling in his chest that stays, and Chanyeol smiles at the boy - or more like, he full-on grins, showing off his teeth. "I'm happy you think so, though." He gets up from his knees and leans in to kiss Baekhyun then, his breath knocked out of him as their lips meet even though it's not the first time they are kissing - not by far. It's not really surprising though, Chanyeol being aware of the fact that no matter how many times he kisses the boy or touches him, it will forever feel like the very first time because that's simply how Chanyeol's body reacts to Baekhyun. "Let's take that bath."

Baekhyun grins at him too after they pull away from each other, nodding happily, and Chanyeol doesn't know if he's imagining things or if Baekhyun is glowing for real. It might sound strange, and maybe Chanyeol _is_ crazy after all, but looking at the boy, Chanyeol can see a light around Baekhyun's body that only gets stronger the more Baekhyun smiles.

Baekhyun looks... happy. And so, Chanyeol is too.

After cleaning himself up as well and getting the leftovers of their love making out of Baekhyun's hole, Chanyeol walks Baekhyun to the bathtub, helping him in and making sure that the boy won't fall - or that they both won't fall, because that would be quite a mess. The water is hot just enough, and Baekhyun sighs in content as it touches his body, enveloping him in warmth as they lie down, Chanyeol leaning against the wall of the bathtub and Baekhyun coming to lie on top of him, stomach pressed against Chanyeol's. "That's so nice," the boy whispers, breathing out deeply, clearly enjoying himself.

"It is," Chanyeol agrees, but while the warm bath feels amazing, it's Baekhyun's presence that's making it so nice. "Was your waiting worth it?"

"Definitely," Baekhyun answers immediately, pretty hand trailing down Chanyeol's chest until it stops on Chanyeol's stomach, slender fingers dancing on the abs there - that used to be better a few months ago. "It was so worth it," Baekhyun adds, relaxing his body against Chanyeol's.

"Aren't you in pain?" Chanyeol asks, worried. This arrangement is really perfect, but the wounds on Baekhyun's back aren't healed yet and the water might make the huge cuts sting.

"Not really," saying that, Baekhyun moves his hand again, this time tracing the muscles of Chanyeol's arm. "I feel it, and it's not exactly comfortable but... I don't focus on it." A short pause, and then, "I focus on you."

Chanyeol could go on about how Baekhyun needs to tell him for real if he's in pain or not, but for just once, he decides not to. Baekhyun is careless about his health, yes, but now he seems to be okay, satisfied even, and since Chanyeol wants him to enjoy the moment to the fullest, he leaves all the interrogating for later - there will be time for another dose of questions when he's treating Baekhyun's wounds, after all.

For now, Chanyeol keeps quiet, the only sound heard in the bathroom being their breathing and the never-stopping storm outside. Chanyeol enjoys it a lot as well.

It's when Baekhyun is already asleep beside him on the bed that Chanyeol makes up his mind. _I have to save him,_ he thinks as he stares at the boy who is wearing nothing but moonlight and the love bites Chanyeol left on him today. _I have to get him out of here._

It's dangerous to even think about it, but Chanyeol can't help it. This time, he really means it, he's not just having wishful thoughts anymore, no; Chanyeol is very, very serious about this, bent on saving Baekhyun from this hell somehow. He has had enough of seeing the person he cares for so deeply hurt over and over again, and as Chanyeol shifts closer to Baekhyun, he promises himself that even if he were to die, he will get Baekhyun to safety in whatever way possible. To be honest, risking his life doesn't even seem that big of a deal when Chanyeol imagines that Baekhyun could live a happy life away from this place in the future, away from Woohyun and Heojoon.

He doesn't yet know how he'll do it, but there has to be a way, because Chanyeol is done watching Baekhyun getting beaten up, humiliated and used almost every day, and that's definite. He loves Baekhyun too much to be okay with seeing the boy suffer like that. Baekhyun deserves so much better.

And so, Chanyeol makes the decision; no matter the cost, he will help Baekhyun get out of here.

  
  


Waking up with Baekhyun by his side - _naked_ Baekhyun by his side - feels like a dream.

The storm has passed already, leaving only a strong smell of rain in the air, but still, the first thing Chanyeol smells in the morning is Baekhyun, the boy's hair right under his nose as Baekhyun lies on top of him, slender index finger drawing patterns into Chanyeol's chest. It's so pleasant that Chanyeol doesn't even focus on the loud wake-up call that echoes through the whole camp, his ears only catching the _good morning_ Baekhyun whispers before placing a kiss on Chanyeol's chest, lips perfectly soft against Chanyeol's skin.

"Good morning to you too," Chanyeol greets the boy, finally opening his eyes. It's still quite dark, the Sun not breaking the sky completely, but Chanyeol feels as if the room was completely bright when he looks at Baekhyun, the blue eyes shining more than any Sun ever could. "Slept well?"

"More than well," is Baekhyun's answer, making Chanyeol smile. "Did you?"

"Definitely," Chanyeol says immediately, kissing Baekhyun's hair. However, he soon gets to kiss Baekhyun's lips as well when the boy tilts his head up and slants their mouths together, most likely forgetting about the protests he had last time about morning breath - not like Chanyeol minds. He loves kissing Baekhyun, as he has mentioned so many times, not only in his head, but out loud too.

Mornings like this one are definitely what Chanyeol wants to experience every day, waking up to the smell of Baekhyun and seeing the boys angelic face right after he opens his eyes. Everything's so beautiful and Chanyeol feels as light as a feather with Baekhyun in his arms, the soldier forgetting all about the bad things in the world thanks to the kisses Baekhyun gifts him with. It's perfect.

  
  


This mood, this trouble-less mood, stays with Chanyeol almost the whole day, the reason for it being that he spends all those hours in Baekhyun's company, the two of them not being an inch away from each other and parting only when Chanyeol needs to go for the meals. Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun could be very clingy if he wants to be, but the day after their love making the soldier gets to experience a whole new level of Baekhyun's clinginess, and to be honest, he loves it way too much, always embracing Baekhyun lovingly when the boy snuggles up to him.

Baekhyun also loves kissing, as Chanyeol finds out throughout the day, the boy not being able to keep his lips for himself, pecking Chanyeol's mouth almost every second. Or, if it's not a kiss on the mouth, Baekhyun gives some great attention to Chanyeol's bare chest, arms, neck, and cheeks, pampering Chanyeol's body with kisses that radiate fondness and love. Chanyeol can't even begin to say how much he enjoys this, but he hopes that even without words Baekhyun is able to see the happiness in Chanyeol's eyes, the soldier's brown orbs sparking more and more with every kiss that Baekhyun gives him.

Before yesterday, Baekhyun was very shy - he was shy even _during_ their first time, which is also understandable - but today, there is not a hint of shyness in Baekhyun's behavior. It seems that now that Chanyeol has made Baekhyun his, the boy isn't afraid to show his affection, letting Chanyeol know exactly just how much he likes the soldier, and not only with actions, but also by words.

It was Chanyeol who had always sweet-talked Baekhyun, from the very start. At the beginning, there were no confessions of love, but Chanyeol still told Baekhyun something nice to lift the boy's spirits, showering Baekhyun with sentences and words that he knew would make Baekhyun feel better despite the horrible situation he was in. However, as they got closer, the things Chanyeol was telling Baekhyun became a window to Chanyeol's soul and heart, and then, after their first kiss, Chanyeol didn't have to hide anything from the boy anymore, being able to talk Baekhyun's ears off with compliments because Baekhyun knew about his feelings and Chanyeol didn't have to restrain himself in fear of scaring Baekhyun off anymore.

However, Chanyeol didn't expect that Baekhyun would do the same, verbally complimenting everything about Chanyeol that came to his mind before he kissed the soldier, or hugged him, or simply snuggled up to him. Every single time Baekhyun did one of those things, there was a pretty blush coloring his cheeks, the boy embarrassed by his own words and actions, and Chanyeol always found his heart thumping with endless love upon seeing Baekhyun like that. Even now, at this very moment, Chanyeol's heart is being lifted to the clouds when Baekhyun finds a home in the crook of Chanyeol's neck, his arms loosely circling Chanyeol's waist.

They basically spend the whole day like this, cuddling and exchanging sweet words, and Chanyeol finds himself forgetting all about the outside world once again. There are no problems, no violence, no war, nothing - it's only him and Baekhyun, alone on the bed in the small room, feeling warm despite the cold weather. Chanyeol wants to stay like this forever.

But it never works like that. Not in this world, not at times like this.

  
  


The perfect day Chanyeol was having ends the moment he steps into the kitchen building in the dead of the night, the soldier in need of more water because he has run out of it. Baekhyun told him it can wait till tomorrow, but Chanyeol didn't want Baekhyun to be thirsty, and so he made his way here with the intention of refilling the large bucket that has gone empty, not even bothering to dress properly for the weather, wearing only the sweatpants and a shirt.

He thought it would be quick. Just get the water and go back to Baekhyun, giving the boy a drink before they go to sleep - that was the plan. However, in Chanyeol's world, nothing ever goes according to a plan, which proves to be true when Chanyeol hears something he immediately wishes to un-hear as he steps into the building, a trembling voice of his best friend echoing in his ears as Jongin says, "I can't just leave with you, Kyungsoo. You have a home in the South, a life, but I-I don't- I... This is too much.” There’s silence for a few seconds, Jongin trying to find the right words to say, and then, “Y-You telling me you're the spy and then asking me to leave, it's all too much."

Chanyeol can't even move from the shock. His brain tries to process everything, but there are too many thoughts all at once, and Chanyeol can only stare ahead, the conversation between Jongin and Kyungsoo becoming a background noise as those many thoughts race inside of Chanyeol's head. _Does this mean... Kyungsoo is the traitor?_ Chanyeol questions although the answer is very obvious by now. It's just that... he somehow can't come to believe it.

Chanyeol should have known that Kyungsoo was the one everyone was looking for, though. Now when he thinks more about it, it wouldn't have been that hard to figure it all out if Chanyeol just tried, or at least put some suspicion on the cook. After all, Kyungsoo came out of nowhere, and if Chanyeol remembers correctly from Jongin's words, the doe-eyed man had never talked much or interacted with others. From the very start Kyungsoo took a job of an observer, not looking exactly suspicious because of the whole introvert-aura he had going on, making the others think that he just wasn't good with people - he even fooled Chanyeol completely, the soldier thinking the same thing as every other person who came into contact with Kyungsoo, which is that Kyungsoo simply doesn't enjoy... people, and that Jongin was the only exception.

Still, if Chanyeol thought about it a little more, he would have found out about Kyungsoo. He would have seen through the pretense, especially if he talked to Kyungsoo for more than two minutes every day, because now as the cook says, "Jongin please, just hear me out," Chanyeol can pick up on the foreign accent easily, the words being pronounced similarly as Baekhyun pronounces them. _No, I wouldn't have seen through it,_ Chanyeol tells himself a second later, realizing that Kyungsoo's accent was completely different when they talked together, having a short conversation when Chanyeol came for the meals. _He's talking in his true accent just now, because he's with Jongin._

"You don't _get_ it," Jongin whispers, stressed. "This- we can't-"

"Why?" Kyungsoo asks, looking up at Jongin with pleading eyes. "I have to go back, but I don't want to go without you." Chanyeol watched from distance how Kyungsoo places his palms on Jongin's chest, leaving only a little bit of space between them. "Please, come with me."

Jongin seems to be unable to keep looking into Kyungsoo's big eyes which is clear from the way he turns his head away only a second later, running a hand through his hair and then putting it over his mouth. "You've lied the whole time," Jongin says instead of replying to Kyungsoo's request, and Kyungsoo looks down in shame upon hearing the words. "When I was awake all night because I was worrying about the spy being able to kill me anytime while sleeping, you were there telling me it won't happen. When I was eating and mentioned the spy, you told me not to worry. Every time it came down to this topic, you were trying to have a conversation about literally anything else to make me stop talking about it," the tall man says, taking a step back from Kyungsoo as it all downs upon him. At that moment Chanyeol feels a little guilty, because as a best friend, he should have known that Jongin was worrying so much that he couldn't sleep... but Chanyeol didn't know, didn't even ask about the black circles underneath his friend's eyes. "It was you all along, and I-I never once suspected you."

"Jongin, I couldn't just tell you, you know that," Kyungsoo says, voice desperate as he tries to make his lover understand.

"Why are you telling me this now, then?"

"Because I have to leave soon, and I want to take you with me," explaining, Kyungsoo attempts to get closer to Jongin again, but Jongin takes a step back again, still not ready. "Please, Jongin," Kyungsoo begs, eyes glistening. "Come with-"

"The fuck is this," Chanyeol finds his voice suddenly, surprising even himself as the words escape his mouth. The bucket falls out of his hand a moment later too, making quite some noise as it falls to the ground, startling the two men that finally notice him standing there. Chanyeol wonders how could they not notice him when he entered, but honestly, it's the least of his worries now. "Are you fucking telling me that it was you all along?"

"C-Chanyeol-" Jongin stutters, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Kyungsoo beside him doesn't look any better. "Calm down, okay?" Jongin tries, coming to stand in front of Kyungsoo upon seeing that Chanyeol's stare is directed at the short man. "Let's talk."

"No, that's exactly what we can't do." Chanyeol shakes his head. "The longer we're here with him, the bigger is the chance of someone hearing us. You have to fucking distance yourself from him right now instead of wanting to talk." That said, Chanyeol turns around quickly and attempts to head back to Baekhyun, knowing that if someone saw him there it would create so much trouble. The three of them would be the main suspects, while Kyungsoo is the only one at fault. "I'm leaving, and you better do that too, right now."

"Wait!" Jongin calls out, getting to Chanyeol in a speed of light and grabbing the man's forearm. "Don't tell anyone, please," his best friend begs in a desperate voice. "Y-You can't tell anyone. You can't report it, _please._ "

Chanyeol has never snapped at Jongin before, not for real. They were friends for a few years, but they have never had a real, very serious argument, always being able to work things out before it got too out of hand. However, now, Chanyeol can't help but snap at his best friend for the first time in the years of their friendship. "How could I report it?!" Chanyeol whisper-yells, slapping Jongin's hand away. He feels frustration bubbling in his stomach, and he guesses that it's so intense because this is exactly what woke up Chanyeol from his trouble-less dream. "If I did, I would get myself in shit ton of trouble!" The soldier jabs a finger into Jongin's chest. "And I would cause trouble for you as well! Do you think I'd want that?" Chanyeol sees unshed tears in Jongin's eyes, the man in front of him averting his gaze to the ground as he bites into his lower lip strongly, Chanyeol's words clearly having an impact on him. Seeing his best friend like this is hurting Chanyeol, but it still doesn't make the frustration disappear. "What do you plan on doing now, hm? It doesn't matter what you do, what _we_ do; we will still end up dead the moment your lover disappears because it's a given they'd suspect us too."

"I _know_ , okay?" Jongin says, voice strained. "I don't know what to do either... b-but I'll figure it out!" the way Jongin desperately tries to be optimistic is making Chanyeol even more upset because he himself, out of all people, knows very well that there is no way to make this right, no way to avoid the problems. He has watched Baekhyun suffer for too many times now to be able to say that some things can't be helped, no matter how much a person wishes for it. _It's never getting rid of trouble, it's always postponing them_ is what Baekhyun said too, and while Chanyeol doesn't want to believe it, the boy was right when he said those words.

"There is nothing you can do!" Chanyeol raises his voice. It downs upon him that if Kyungsoo runs away, and if Jongin and Chanyeol himself will get in trouble for that, Baekhyun will be assigned to someone else, and this thought is making Chanyeol panic. That can't happen. Chanyeol has promised himself to help Baekhyun disappear and go back to his country, but he won't be able to do that if he dies before he can even think of a plan.

Letting out a shaky exhale, Chanyeol turns around and runs a hand through his hair, feeling his body trembling slightly. His heart is beating so hard that his ribcage is starting to hurt, and for such a cold weather and this night hour, Chanyeol feels way too hot, feverish even. "Couldn't you choose a different person to fall for," Chanyeol mumbles, more to himself than to Jongin, but Jongin hears it anyway, and it's when these words travel to his best friend's ears that Jongin frowns, offended.

"You're the one to talk," Jongin comments bitterly. "When you fall for the boy who is supposed to be the North's prisoner."

"Yeah, but he at least isn't a liar like your man who has gone mute!" Chanyeol turns back to Jongin, hand gesturing angrily toward Kyungsoo who has been standing at the same spot in silence the whole time, watching the friends argue. "Falling in love with Baekhyun might be one of the biggest crimes, but it was my decision to risk it for him, and I knew exactly what I was doing. But you? You though he is just another helping hand here, but instead Kyungsoo lied to you the whole time, dragging you into this mess while you unknowingly let him!" Then, Chanyeol walks past Jongin, pushing his friend aside and staring Kyungsoo down as he directs his words at the spy, "Or was it your plan all along? To make him fall in love with you so you could use Jongin when you need to disappear?" When Kyungsoo doesn't answer, his mouth sealed, Chanyeol raises his voice more. "So did you or did you not plan this out?!"

"Chanyeol-" Jongin tries, but Chanyeol doesn't let his friend hold him back.

"Answer me!"

"I didn't plan this," Kyungsoo answers, and if Chanyeol wasn't as angry as he is, he would notice the guilty expression on Kyungsoo's face as the cook realizes what he's caused for getting so close to Jongin. "I didn't plan this," he repeats, hoping that this time his honesty reaches Chanyeol. It does, but only fifty percent of it, Chanyeol still not being to believe Kyungsoo fully despite there being no hint of lie in his voice or expression.

"So what? You got carried away and dragged Jongin in your mess while knowing you're basically killing him in the long run?" Chanyeol jabs bitterly. "What now, then? Are you taking him with you?"

"I want to, yes," Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol truthfully, deciding to be completely honest. "If he agrees, I'm planning on taking him with me." Chanyeol snorts, shaking his head and slapping Jongin's hand that reaches for him once again. He doesn't feel like being touched right now, too angry to stand physical contact. "I know I did something reckless-"

"At least you're admitting it," Chanyeol interrupts.

"-But I can't take it back now," Kyungsoo continues anyway, careful with his words, afraid that one bad choice of phrasing could make Chanyeol mad. "I'm sorry, I really am," his tone is so honest that a bit of Chanyeol's anger disappears. The soldier thinks that it's also party because of the accent, Chanyeol not being able to keep Baekhyun off his mind when Kyungsoo pronounced words so similarly. "I didn't think, and I'm aware of what you think of me right now, but I've never intended to hurt Jongin. I lied, but I'm not lying now when I say that Jongin is important to me and I'd do whatever to keep him safe."

Chanyeol wants to say that this isn't an excuse for being stupid enough to start an affair in such situation, but he can't get the words out. _I'd do whatever to keep him safe,_ Kyungsoo said, and it reminds Chanyeol too much of himself, the soldier having repeated this sentence so many times in his head when he thought about Baekhyun.

"Yeah, do that; keep Jongin safe," Chanyeol says instead, turning around and walking away, picking the bucket from the ground. He doesn't know what more to say because no matter what leaves his mouth today, nothing will change; the moment Kyungsoo - and Jongin too, if the man agrees - escapes, Chanyeol will be blamed for it, deemed as the traitor that has surely helped the two flee. Nobody will listen to Chanyeol when the soldier attempts to say that he hadn't taken part in this, since he was Jongin's best friend, so he is as good as dead even now. "If everyone who has ever talked to you, Jongin or me will be punished without even knowing what happened, then at least Jongin will be safe."

"Chanyeol, please," Jongin runs to him, blocking Chanyeol's way. His friend's eyes are sad, misery as clear as day in them as he speaks, "I'm sorry too. It's all my fault. If I hadn't been so persistent with Kyungsoo, we wouldn't have gotten together and this wouldn't be happening. I'm sorry that I dragged you into this, that I created this mess."

Seeing Jongin crying because of all the guilt and sadness that's eating him up from inside does something to Chanyeol, and while one part of him is still angry, the other part starts realizing that Jongin didn't have a say in whom he fell in love with, just like Chanyeol himself, and just like Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol is blaming Kyungsoo for not thinking about the consequences of his actions and for knowingly involving Jongin in this mess, but Chanyeol kind of did the same with Baekhyun - there definitely are huge differences, like Kyungsoo's fake identity for example, but their cases are still similar, bound together by the fact that they both couldn't really do anything about their feelings. The unexpected emotions that started blossoming in Chanyeol's heart made it impossible for the soldier to keep himself distanced from Baekhyun, and Chanyeol guesses it was the same for Kyungsoo - maybe, possibly, even harder, since he knew he'd hurt Jongin in the long run.

Looking past Jongin and at Kyungsoo, taking in his guilty and devastated expression, Chanyeol realizes that Kyungsoo must have been suffering a lot this whole time, having to lie to the person he loves and smile at Jongin while knowing that the very same person he's smiling at at that moment could possibly hate him when the truth is revealed.

"It wasn't a choice, so I can't blame you," Chanyeol says softly when he looks back at Jongin, attempting for a comforting smile but failing miserably, the broken-looking grin having close to nothing that'd be similar to a smile. "It's alright." Slowly but surely, the anger and shock from before starts to disappear, being replaced by something even Chanyeol isn't able to name. There are too many emotions in his heart right now, it would be impossible to give them a name. "Decide what you want to do, and then... tell me, I guess," Chanyeol chuckles humorlessly. "I'm basically dead anyway, right? Whether you leave with him or not, they are going to point fingers at me, so nothing can really make it worse."

"Chanyeol..." Jongin starts, but doesn't really know what to say, and so he just looks down at their shoes, biting his lower lip.

"Be quiet when you talk, or you'll get caught sooner than you'd like. You two were lucky it was me coming through that door and not someone else," Chanyeol says, looking away from Jongin. "I have to go back, Baekhyun is waiting for me." With that said, Chanyeol turns away and walks to the door, his heart heavy in his chest and his legs weak. He wishes he listened to Baekhyun when the boy told him the water can wait till tomorrow, because then he wouldn't have walked in on this conversation. He wouldn't know about this, wouldn't-

_Wait._

With wide eyes, Chanyeol quickly turns on his heel, his gaze falling on Kyungsoo who blinks in surprise, the cook not expecting such intense eye-contact. After all, Chanyeol was already reaching for the doorknob before he turned back again all of sudden, so it's obvious Kyungsoo would be shocked. "When are you planning to escape?" Chanyeol questions, not even blinking as he asks, and it catches Jongin's attention as well.

"W-What?" Jongin gapes. "Why-"

" _When are you planning to escape?_ " Chanyeol repeats the question, walking past Jongin quickly and stopping only when he's a meter away from Kyungsoo who is looking at him with equally wide eyes, not understanding the sudden question.

However, Chanyeol doesn't look like he's joking or playing around, and so Kyungsoo gulps, answering, "In five days. Just minutes before midnight." After this, Kyungsoo's big eyes flicker to Jongin, the cook probably wanting to see the man's reaction. "There will be a car prepared for us," he adds, and Chanyeol doesn't miss the _us_ in the sentence. _He really wants Jongin to come with him,_ Chanyeol thinks, as if it wasn't obvious until now.

While Chanyeol's question came out of blue and surprised both Jongin and Kyungsoo, what comes out of the soldier's mouth now shocks them thousands of times more. "Take Baekhyun with you," Chanyeol says, voice serious and gaze unwavering even though Jongin and Kyungsoo whisper-yell _what_ in unison, the two men clearly not expecting something like this. To be honest, Chanyeol didn't expect this of himself either, but the idea came to him out of blue, and he didn't think much before requesting this of Kyungsoo.

"I can't do that," Kyungsoo tells him immediately while Jongin is still recovering from the surprise a few feet away from them.

"You know who he is. You'd get a reward if you managed to take Byun Baekhyun back to South," Chanyeol starts and wants to continue, but Kyungsoo cuts him off before Chanyeol can get out another sentence.

"We wouldn't even make it out of the camp if Baekhyun were to come with us. It'd be too complicated and someone would catch us for sure. Besides-"

"You don't understand," this time, it's Chanyeol who interrupts Kyungsoo, the tall man frowning down at the cook, using his height to look more menacing. "You are taking him with you, I'm not taking _no_ for an answer," Chanyeol sees Kyungsoo opening his mouth, and so he continues, not letting him speak. "You're the only chance I have if I want to get him out of this shithole, so you're not telling me you can't take him with you. You _have_ to help him get back to South."

"We are all going to die, there is not a chance that all three of us could-"

" _Listen to me!_ " Chanyeol raises his voice, taking the last step closer and coming to stand right in front of Kyungsoo, making Jongin running to the rescue, the man fearing that Chanyeol is getting ready to hurt Kyungsoo. However, Chanyeol isn't fazed at all by the hand that is trying to pull him away from the doe-eyed cook, Chanyeol not moving an inch. "I'm not letting him die here, and you're the only one who can help me. I'm not going to listen to your explanations of why you can't take him with you, no." Chanyeol points his finger at Kyungsoo warningly. "You will make it work, and you'll help him to safety."

"What are you talking about Chanyeol?" Jongin asks. "What about you? They will-"

"I don't care. If Baekhyun will be away from all this, I don't care what happens to me. Besides, I've already said it; I'm dead anyway the moment they find out you and Kyungsoo are gone," Chanyeol chuckles, wondering when did he start to be unfazed by the idea of being tortured mercilessly for betrayal and then being murdered in cold blood. The answer is easy though. "I'll do anything to save Baekhyun, and this is my chance." Kyungsoo's eyes soften when the raw emotion in Chanyeol's words gets to him, and Chanyeol sees an opening, so he uses it. "What if you were in my shoes and Jongin were in Baekhyun's?" the soldier asks. "Wouldn't you do the same?" _This is it,_ Chanyeol thinks when Kyungsoo glances at Jongin, most likely imagining the situation Chanyeol presented. _I've gotten through._ "So please, just take him with you."

Kyungsoo sighs deeply and puts some distance between them, rubbing his face with his hands. It's clear that the gears in his head are working like crazy right now, and he just hopes that, in the end, what Kyungsoo says will be exactly what Chanyeol wants to hear.

The idea to make Kyungsoo take Baekhyun with them and escape together was rather sudden, but Chanyeol knows that this is the only possibility if he wants to get Baekhyun to safety and help him escape from this hell. Chanyeol, as much as he would want to, wouldn't be able to escape with Baekhyun alone because that's just impossible. However, with Kyungsoo's help who surely has the escape planned already, people waiting for him on the other side, it is definitely possible. Yes, there is a chance of all of them dying, Baekhyun included, but honestly, there is nothing good waiting for Baekhyun here even if he stays anyway. In Baekhyun's case, death is not the worst case scenario anymore, and Chanyeol is aware of it well.

Dying in exchange for Baekhyun's life isn't a bad reason to die, and Chanyeol believes that if it truly came down to it, his death would at least have a real purpose. Some might say that dying while fighting on the fronts is a purposeful death, but not for Chanyeol - for Chanyeol, it has never been. But trading his own life for Baekhyun's? Trading his own life for someone whom he loves wholeheartedly? That isn't a bad reason to die at all, and Chanyeol is willing to go through this, willing to die or be tortured, if he knows that Baekhyun is safe.

He is already dead anyway, as he has said many times now, but Chanyeol would hate himself forever in the after-life if he were leaving this world without helping out Baekhyun.

"...He's not going to leave without you," Kyungsoo says in the end, being sure of it, knowing that if Chanyeol is not hesitating to sacrifice his everything for Baekhyun, Baekhyun is the same and would rather die than let Chanyeol get hurt. "Four people is too much. We would catch too much attention and-"

"I won't go," Chanyeol tells Kyungsoo. "It's just him. I would-"

"I'm not leaving you here either," Jongin cuts him off, tugging on Chanyeol's forearm and turning the man to him, frowning at the taller. "You won't take all of the blame for the three of us. I'm forbidding you from doing that."

Chanyeol smiles at Jongin sadly. "I appreciate your care and worry," the soldier says, hating the unshed tears in Jongin's eyes. He doesn't want to see his best friend cry. "But there is no other way."

"I won't go if you're staying. I won't leave you here," Jongin shakes his head, and Chanyeol can see Kyungsoo turning back to them from the corner of his eye, the cook reacting right away to Jongin's words. "You can't expect that I'm simply going to escape while knowing you'll in danger!"

"If you want to survive this, you'll have to leave," Chanyeol reminds him, as if Jongin didn't already know.

"Then I'll die!" Jongin insists. "I won't leave you here!" Then, his voice quietens, Jongin's head falling on Chanyeol's shoulder before his friend says, "You're my only friend, I'm not leaving you here, you stupid idiot. I wouldn't be able to live knowing that I ran away." The sadness in Jongin's voice makes Chanyeol tear up, the tall man feeling his eyes stinging, but he refuses to let the tears fall. He has to be strong and make Jongin understand that this is the only way they can do this, but his persuading won't work at all if he breaks down now.

 _If Jongin is like this, what will Baekhyun do when he finds out?_ Chanyeol thinks fleetingly, already being able to imagine Baekhyun throwing a fit and refusing to agree to this.

"Okay." Their emotional moment is interrupted by Kyungsoo's words, and they both look at the man standing a few feet away from them, expression unreadable. "I'll make it work." While Chanyeol says _thank you_ right away, Jongin says _I'm not going if Chanyeol has to stay_. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to be surprised to hear Jongin's protests though, nodding and making eye-contact with his lover as he tells him, "We're gonna leave, the four of us. I'll think of something."

"It's too risky, we'd get caught," Chanyeol is the one protesting now.

"It'd be too risky even without you. Our chances are small as it is now, but we have to try," Kyungsoo says, and Chanyeol doesn't miss the look Kyungsoo aims at Jongin - it's the look that's saying that Kyungsoo would do anything for Jongin, would die for the man and would risk everything to be able to leave with him. At that moment, Chanyeol realizes that it wasn't his pleas that made Kyungsoo come to this decision, but Jongin saying that he's staying if Chanyeol is staying. "I'll think of the plan, but you have to go already, or it'll be suspicious that you've spent so much time in here," Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol, turning his back at the soldier afterwards as he runs a hand through his hair, conflicted.

Chanyeol listens and untangles himself from Jongin, pushing his friend forward slightly, hinting that Jongin needs to be by Kyungsoo's side right now, that the two of them need to talk seriously, this time without Chanyeol interrupting them. "Thank you," Chanyeol says honestly. Kyungsoo only nods in response, not turning back, and Chanyeol only hopes that Kyungsoo knows how greatly appreciated the spy's final decision is. Chanyeol might not agree with himself escaping as well, knowing that it's too much of a risk to try and leave in a group of four, but he is also aware of the fact that Jongin wouldn't go without him, and Baekhyun wouldn't too. "I'm really grateful," Chanyeol adds, wanting to let Kyungsoo know verbally as well.

When Kyungsoo only nods again, Chanyeol realizes it's truly the time to leave, and so without another word and just a glance in Jongin's direction, Chanyeol picks up the bucket that has fallen out of his hand sometime during the argument and makes his way to the door, this time leaving for real. The last thing he sees before he closes the door after himself is Jongin coming up to Kyungsoo and hugging the short man from behind, whispering something into Kyungsoo's ear that Chanyeol can't hear, and the soldier smiles bitterly, thinking about how him and Jongin have both managed to find their special ones in the midst of all the chaos, but created even a bigger mess for themselves because of it.

Chanyeol will never regret falling for Baekhyun though, and by the looks of it, Jongin feels the same about Kyungsoo.

  
  


When Chanyeol returns back, Baekhyun sleepily asks why did it take so long for the soldier to come back. Chanyeol opens his mouth to tell Baekhyun about what happened, share the information and talk about the conversation he had with Kyungsoo and Jongin, but in the end, Chanyeol doesn't say anything about it. He decides that until there is a plan, he shouldn't talk about it with Baekhyun, since the boy would definitely have a lot to say about it, maybe even scolding Chanyeol for risking so much for him. They should have this conversation later. Save the trouble and - most likely - another argument for later.

And so, Chanyeol lies. He tells Baekhyun that Jongin was there and that they talked a little, and he lies again when Baekhyun asks what did they talk about. He then lies about why he came back with an empty bucket, and he lies when Baekhyun asks about the reason he looks troubled. He hates lying to Baekhyun, but right now, Chanyeol deems it as a good lie. What good would it be if Chanyeol talked about the escape now, at this hour? Baekhyun is clearly sleepy and was only waiting for Chanyeol to come so he can fall asleep with his lover, so starting such a serious conversation just feels wrong.

He should just let Baekhyun sleep.

And with this thought, Chanyeol undresses himself and slips under the covers, happily embracing Baekhyun when the boy climbs on him like he always does, his pretty hand and head on Chanyeol's chest. Baekhyun's body is warming Chanyeol up more than the blankets as they lie together on the bed, and Chanyeol is sure that the reason for it is because Baekhyun's presence isn't only making his body feel warm like the blanket does, but it's also making his heart warm.

"Goodnight," Baekhyun whispers, placing a kiss on Chanyeol's chest, and upon feeling the boy's soft lips on his skin, Chanyeol's eyes water. With Jongin, he was able to keep himself from crying, but now it's impossible.

"Goodnight, angel," he replies before a lump is created in his throat. The soldier tries hard to control his heart and breathing so Baekhyun wouldn't pick up on anything, but he fails miserably. After all, Baekhyun has always been very perceptive, and when Chanyeol exhales a little shakily, Baekhyun, instead of saying anything or asking about it, starts drawing patterns on Chanyeol's skin with his pretty fingers in a hope that it will calm his lover down.

It only makes Chanyeol cry harder.

  
  


Baekhyun falls asleep after some time, but Chanyeol doesn't. He stares at the ceiling with tired eyes, caressing Baekhyun's hip with his thumb, and thinks about how this could be one of their last nights together - last nights alive, even. Kyungsoo has said that the escape is planned for five days from now, and Chanyeol doesn't know if today's events will change the date or not, but what he knows is that he can't take even a single second with Baekhyun for granted because it might as well be the last second he gets to spend with the boy.

When Chanyeol finally does fall asleep, it's with the thought of _What could it be like, our life together, if it all truly worked out?_

  
  
  
  
  
  


To be honest, the days pass rather quickly from that conversation with Jongin and Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun never asks about why Chanyeol cried that night, and while Chanyeol knows Baekhyun's curiosity must be eating the boy up, he is glad that Baekhyun leaves it be - Chanyeol would hate himself more if he had to lie to Baekhyun about something again. He is already hiding so many things from Baekhyun, and even though one more lie couldn't possibly make it any worse, Chanyeol simply doesn't enjoy looking into Baekhyun's eyes and saying something that is untrue.

Aside from feeling bad for lying, Chanyeol feels many other things. One minute he's stressed, the next second he's relaxed again. Then he is happy, but he turns sad the very next second, his mind full of dark thoughts that are making Chanyeol's heart hurt. One time he is feeling nothing, but then he has many emotions at the same time. This goes on and on, same phases and emotions repeating all over again throughout the day, and by the time he slips under the covers at night, he is more tired than he ever was when he was fighting on the fronts.

The feelings that doesn't pass and stays with him twenty-four-seven is worry, though.

Chanyeol is worried - no, scared - most of the time. He has turned rather paranoid after it was set that the two of them will be escaping, and while - for example - a week ago he didn't care about suspicious looks thrown his way, now he cares way too much, always wondering if they _know_. Chanyeol tells himself to act normal, be the way he always was, but it's really hard; acting like he used to when the plan to escape hadn't existed yet, that is. While then Chanyeol didn't really think about his actions and words, now he does, wondering if something sounds or looks too suspicious, only to scold himself in the end for thinking about this once again. The first rule to acting normal is not thinking, but Chanyeol does a lot of it, which is putting them in danger.

Jongin is the same, though. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo might be the only ones noticing the change, but there definitely is a huge difference between a normal Jongin and this Jongin. It isn't surprising to see his friend in the same state as himself, but what _is_ surprising is seeing Kyungsoo acting different too.

Kyungsoo fooled everyone here - still _is_ fooling everyone - but Jongin and Chanyeol see through it now. Chanyeol might not know Kyungsoo, not really, but now that Chanyeol is aware of Kyungsoo being the spy, some of the things the short cook does or says are simply strange, out of character. Kyungsoo, from what Chanyeol has heard from Jongin, had never been exactly friendly, but now he is... not exactly friendly, but definitely not hostile. It's real luck that everyone thinks Jongin has made Kyungsoo like this, that Jongin is starting to rub off on Kyungsoo.

When it comes to their escape plan and arranging things about it, they communicate in various ways. Sometimes Chanyeol would drag Jongin out for a friendly chat like he used to do and they'd try to have a conversation as quietly as possible so nobody would hear, and sometimes he'd exchanges messages on a paper with Jongin or Kyungsoo, making sure nobody notices - at first, Chanyeol was afraid that someone would notice paper disappearing from the storage room because, well, he has become paranoid, but then he found a way to do it without being caught.

All the details of their escape are already thought through after three days, and although Baekhyun is one of the four involved in the escape, the boy knows nothing about it.

Chanyeol wanted to tell Baekhyun about the plan, about the escape, but in the end... he hasn't told the boy anything. Somehow, every time he looked into Baekhyun's pretty eyes or was embraced by Baekhyun's arms, Chanyeol decided to _leave it for later_ , and after so many _later_ s, Chanyeol started avoiding the topic like a plague. Chanyeol doesn't know why he did it. Maybe it was because he didn't want to ruin the moment, or a nice evening, or a nice day, and so the soldier didn't mention the escape at all, hiding the plan from Baekhyun though he knew very well that Baekhyun should know.

Baekhyun would protest, that much Chanyeol knows. If Chanyeol revealed the plan to him, Baekhyun wouldn't stop saying that it's too dangerous, too risky - but Chanyeol knows it all. He knows they could all die, that there is a bigger chance of someone catching them than there is a chance of them escaping and leaving this place, but... they have already decided; It's better to at least try to escape than wait for certain death. And when it comes to Baekhyun... Baekhyun might not really care anymore, but Chanyeol won't let the boy's life end in this kind of place. Baekhyun is too young and too good to die here, and Chanyeol refuses to let it happen.

So, to avoid an argument, Chanyeol doesn't tell Baekhyun and decides that Baekhyun will find out only at the time of the escape, which is tomorrow. Until then, Chanyeol will keep his mouth shut.

He knows it's not fair to Baekhyun and that it's also not the right thing to do, but Chanyeol truly can't find the courage to talk to Baekhyun about it. He's not afraid of the argument itself, no; he is more afraid that if their plan were to fail and they were to die during the escape, then the time that could be have been spent in warm embrace of the other would be uselessly spent with arguing instead. And so, when the secrets Chanyeol is keeping from Baekhyun are already on the tip of his tongue, Chanyeol kisses Baekhyun to stop himself from saying anything, or hugs the boy, bringing the blue-eyed beauty close to his chest, to keep the words from falling out of his mouth.

 _It's better this way,_ Chanyeol thinks, but doesn't really believe it himself. Or he does, but not entirely, because lying to Baekhyun is just _wrong_. Maybe, when Baekhyun finds out tomorrow, he will be angry at Chanyeol, and he will hold it against the soldier for a long time, but... for Chanyeol, it's better to be hated for lying than to see Baekhyun suffer here until the end of the boy's life. He can take Baekhyun's anger way better than he can take Baekhyun's pained whimpers that has been accompanying Chanyeol every day for such a long time now.

He just wants to finally give Baekhyun a life that the boy truly deserves, and he's just one day away from fulfilling this dream. Just one day. _So_ _close_.

And yet, in this short amount of time, everything goes to hell way sooner than Chanyeol would have expected it.

Chanyeol thought that if a problem was to come, it would be that they are caught. In his mind, there was nothing else that could go bad, and that's why the possibility of them being found out was all that Chanyeol was afraid of, all that he expected to go wrong. However, in the midst of planning the escape and handling the stressful things that came with it - such as trying hard to hide it from Baekhyun, for example - Chanyeol completely forgot about there being one more problem that could complicate things.

That problem being Heojoon and Woohyun.

The two men show up late at night, basically barging into the building and almost crashing down the entrance door as they step in, both of them clearly drunk but not completely wasted. Chanyeol, after hearing the loud noise of door opening and then shutting again, immediately freezes on spot, his eyes going wide as Heojoon calls out Baekhyun's name, laughing afterwards after adding something in a slur Chanyeol isn't able to understand.

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun whispers from the bed he's lying on, voice trembling and so silent that Chanyeol almost doesn't hear the boy from where he's standing in front of the wardrobe. "It's-"

"Oh, here you are, my beautiful boy." Woohyun is the first one to step into Chanyeol's room, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms on his chest. Chanyeol turns away from the wardrobe, his gaze falling on the two figures by the door, and his heart drops to his stomach the moment he sees the hungry look in Woohyun's eyes, the man's full attention focused on Baekhyun as if Chanyeol wasn't even here. It disgusts Chanyeol so much, the way Woohyun is staring at Baekhyun with so much desire.

Chanyeol is definitely in shock to see them here, but it wears off as soon as Heojoon walks past Woohyun, attempting to make his way toward Baekhyun. "You step away, right now!" Chanyeol yells, his surprise changing into anger. With fear pulsing through his veins, Chanyeol crosses the room quickly and stops right in front of the bed, shielding Baekhyun who has sat up from his lying position already. "Don't come any closer!"

Heojoon only sniggers, turning his head in Woohyun's direction to share a laugh together with his friend, seemingly way too amused by Chanyeol's attempts to protect Baekhyun. When he turns back to Chanyeol again, glassy eyes from all the drinks he has had - and by the smell, he must have had quite a lot - he smirks at Chanyeol lazily, saying, "You act like we haven't told you that we're be coming back." Heojoon's breath reeks of alcohol disgustingly, and Chanyeol scrunches his nose in distaste.

"You aren't supposed to be here today," Chanyeol tells Heojoon. "Thus, you _can't_ be here. So get your drunk asses out of here, right now. General wouldn't be happy if he knew that-"

"He knows we're here, don't worry," cutting him off, Woohyun pushes himself off the doorframe, running a hand through his hair as he comes to stand next to Heojoon. However, unlike Heojoon who is staring Chanyeol down, Woohyun has his gaze fixated purely on Baekhyun, successfully sending shivers down Baekhyun's spine. From the corner of his eyes, Chanyeol can see Baekhyun moving further away on the bed. "He granted us the permission because our plan won us the battle on the fronts yesterday, which is why everyone's celebrating tonight. And pretty boy here is our special reward, since we so nicely asked for it."

Chanyeol knew about some battle being won a day ago, but he didn't really pay extra attention to which front exactly protected the North's land from the South Korean soldiers. Now, he realizes that he should have had. "He didn't," Chanyeol refuses. The general isn't exactly a good person, but the old man isn't a monster either. Chanyeol has told the general so many times that Baekhyun is badly hurt when the man requested to know about the prisoner's condition, so surely, he wouldn't give the two assholes the permission to come here and hurt Baekhyun further, right? _Right?_ "He wouldn't-"

"He would. After all, he was so glad to hear that we have won the battle, especially when our situation is so bad at this moment. That's why he was so generous," Heojoon says this time, clearly enjoying how the color drains from Chanyeol's face. "Or did you really think that you can forever have him for yourself?" Heojoon asks, vaguely gesturing to Baekhyun who looks down and grips the sheets in fear of what's coming. "So fuck off. You have nothing to threaten us with anymore, don't even try, if you're thinking about that."

"I won't let you do this," Chanyeol shakes his head, hearing a faint _Chanyeol stop_ coming out of Baekhyun's mouth right away. It makes him remember the promise he gave to Baekhyun the other day, about leaving when it comes down to Woohyun and Heojoon coming the next time, but it wasn't a _real_ promise; Chanyeol only said yes because the two soldiers were supposed to be coming on Sunday, and by that time, Chanyeol and Baekhyun would be either dead or somewhere safe. If he knew that Woohyun and Heojoon would be coming so soon, he would have never given Baekhyun that promise.

This wasn't supposed to happen, at all.

"And who do you think you are to deny us our great prize, hm?" Heojoon asks, reaching for Chanyeol and grabbing him by the forearm, pulling him out of the way with a force Chanyeol wouldn't expect of a man who has had so much to drink today. "So get out."

"I'm not going- Fucking touch him more time and I'll kill both you!" Chanyeol screams, pushing Heojoon away and throwing himself at Woohyun who has climbed on the bed and cornered Baekhyun against the wall, the boy already crying and trembling as he desperately tries to move away, eyes shut because of how afraid he is to look up and face Woohyun who is so obviously enjoying this all too much. "I'll break your hands if you touch him, you asshole!" with that said, Chanyeol takes a hold of Woohyun's jacket and pulls on it so hard the Woohyun falls backwards, his back hitting the bed. "Don't you dare to even look at him!"

Heojoon is saying something, Woohyun too, but the only thing Chanyeol hears is the sob that escapes Baekhyun's mouth, and the soldier is by the boy's side immediately, cupping his cheeks and telling him that it's going to be alright, that Chanyeol is going to do something that will put a stop to this. However, Baekhyun only cries harder, shaking his head no because he himself knows that nothing can help him now, and the longer Chanyeol talks about saving him, the more hurt Baekhyun is.

"Go away, please," Baekhyun mumbles with a strained voice, his eyes shut tightly. "Please leave, please leave," the boy repeats frantically, but despite his words, his pretty hands are holding on to Chanyeol's shirt, not letting him go just yet. "You promised, so go." Taking a shaky breath, Baekhyun finally opens his eyes and looks at Chanyeol through the tears. "I don't want you to see this."

"I can't just-" but before Chanyeol can finish, he is pulled back by a pair of hands that drag him away from the bed, letting him fall on the ground afterwards. Chanyeol's breath is momentarily knocked out of him because of the fall, but seeing Baekhyun being yanked toward Woohyun hurts him thousands of times more than the lack of oxygen in his lungs. "Please leave him alone," Chanyeol chokes out, not caring that he's humiliating himself by begging the two to stop. "Let him go." But instead of listening to Chanyeol's pleas, Woohyun pushes Baekhyun down on the bed, ignoring how the boy lets out a pained yelp as his injured back makes contact with the mattress. Chanyeol feels his eyes water upon the sight of Woohyun taking a hold of Baekhyun's jaw and whispering something in Baekhyun's ear the very next second, but he still can't quite get up from the ground to put a stop to this himself, his chest hurting way too much. "I'll do anything, just don't hurt him."

When Chanyeol receives only a cruel laugh from both men in return, he knows that his begging is useless.

First comes panic. Chanyeol's heart is seized by fear, and thousands of thoughts fill his mind all at once, but, sadly enough, none of them provide a solution that would help Baekhyun. Instead, his head is full of horrible possible outcomes of this situation, Chanyeol tortured not only by what's currently happening right in front of his eyes, but also tortured with the images in his head. Plus, as if what he sees isn't enough, Baekhyun's sobs are so loud in Chanyeol's ears that he doesn't even clearly hear Heojoon mocking him as the older soldier holds him down, putting weight on Chanyeol's shoulders so Chanyeol wouldn't be able to get up and ruin the fun for Woohyun once again.

However, Heojoon isn't able to keep Chanyeol from getting up anyway, because when Chanyeol chases the bad thoughts away from his mind - or more like, pushes them aside for a moment - and tries to actually come up with the solution, he pushes Heojoon away easily, the man falling on his ass as Chanyeol stands up. Glancing at Baekhyun one last time, Chanyeol runs out of the building, determined to get help and save Baekhyun before the two assholes get to hurt him.

 _Kyungsoo, I have to get Kyungsoo,_ he repeats in his mind, running through the camp, trying to catch a glance of the short cook or of Jongin, knowing that the couple will definitely be together. Chanyeol is missing a real, actual plan, but really; there is nothing to lose anymore. He himself is unable to help Baekhyun, the general won't help either given that he's the one who gave Woohyun and Heojoon the permission to use Baekhyun in such a disgusting way, and thus, his only possible chance is going to Kyungsoo and beg him to do something - more specifically, beg him to reschedule the escape for today.

It doesn't make sense to Chanyeol either. After all, logically, there is no way they could escape today since the celebrations are going on in the camp and somebody would definitely notice them if they tried to leave, but with all the fear and panic that are getting bigger and bigger with every beat of Chanyeol's heart, logic isn't something that Chanyeol possesses at this very moment. Right now, with his panic-driven heart and brain that has stopped working properly the moment Woohyun and Heojoon stepped into the building today, Chanyeol thinks that them escaping today is the only way to save Baekhyun, to protect the boy he loves so much from getting hurt in such a way.

When Chanyeol doesn't find neither Jongin nor Kyungsoo outside, he makes his way to the kitchens, frantically looking around after barging. He catches the attention of many cooks in here, but right now Chanyeol doesn't really care, focusing solely on finding Kyungsoo in the number of kitchen staff. When he doesn't find the spy in the first part of the kitchen, he walks to the other part, and then other part, until he finally finds a short man with a buzzcut, Kyungsoo just about to leave the kitchen's storage room. Without hesitation, Chanyeol walks over to Kyungsoo and drags him back into the storage room, ignoring the alarmed looks of by-standers.

"What the hell!" Kyungsoo yelps when he is pushed back, but when he realizes it's Chanyeol, he lets himself be dragged back without another word, even taking it on himself to lock them from inside and let the key in the lock so nobody will unlock the door from the outside. "What is happening?" he asks, taking in Chanyeol's red and sweaty face. "Did someone-"

"We have to leave today," Chanyeol whispers hurriedly, urgently. He doesn't want any of the people outside the storage building to hear their conversation, but it's truly hard to keep his voice down when he knows that this very second Baekhyun is going through hell on the other side of the camp. "I know it sounds stupid, but we _have_ to," Chanyeol insists, ignoring Kyungsoo's shocked expression that is screaming with disagreement without Kyungsoo even saying anything yet. However, despite Kyungsoo's answer already being clear, Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol finish, not cutting him off just yet to tell him no. "Baekhyun is in danger, and if we don't escape today, he's going to get hurt. Badly. I can't let that happen." Chanyeol goes on and on without stopping or making a longer-than-one-second pauses between his sentences. He doesn't even bother to take a real breath, feeling like breathing would be a waste of time in such a situation where he has to explain himself as quickly as possible. "Please, _please,_ Kyungsoo. They- They came today instead of Sunday and they are going to rape Baekhyun if I don't do anything," Chanyeol begs, grabbing the short man by his arms, not only to put emphasis on his pleas, but also because he feels like his knees are going to give out any time now and he needs to support his body somehow. "Kyungsoo, I beg you. I-I can't let them do this to him, I can't-" and then, Chanyeol's voice breaks, the soldier letting out a sob as the tears start to roll down his cheeks.

For a moment, it's completely quiet. Chanyeol has the tiniest bit of hope that maybe Kyungsoo will allow this, that the man has a back-up plan, but when Kyungsoo apologizes after a short silence, Chanyeol breaks down completely, falling to the ground and unintentionally pulling Kyungsoo down with him. "Please, please, please," Chanyeol repeats over and over, his whole body trembling as it starts to down on him that his last hope starts to vanish into thin air. Still, though, he tries to persuade Kyungsoo somehow despite knowing the answer already. _I can't just give up. I can't!_ "I can't let them do it, Kyungsoo. Please help me," the soldier sobs, repeating his words, his head falling on Kyungsoo's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I really am," Kyungsoo apologizes again, and Chanyeol feels arms wrapping around him the very next second. He can see that Kyungsoo is really sorry for not being able to help, his voice and actions honest, but it doesn't ease Chanyeol's rapidly beating heart at all. "We'll definitely be caught if we leave today. Plus, the soldiers on the other side are expecting us to come tomorrow. If they saw us coming today, in the middle of the night, the soldiers would definitely shoot us down, thinking that we are attempting to attack them. We _have_ to wait until tomorrow." What Kyungsoo is saying does make sense, definitely, but it still doesn't change anything about the fact that Chanyeol feels like dying upon the realization that there is literally nothing he can do to protect Baekhyun from being raped.

"Why?" Chanyeol asks, shutting his eyes tightly as he continues to cry. It literally feels like his heart is being cut out of him, and it's hard to breathe with his chest hurting every time Chanyeol inhales. "I must do something," Chanyeol whispers brokenly, completely ignoring the knocks on the door and the voices that yell at him to unlock it and step out. Kyungsoo does the same, his attention fully on Chanyeol, the man trying so desperately to calm Chanyeol down even though his effort has been seemingly useless from the start. "They are gonna hurt him so much... How is there nothing that I can do to save him?"

"I know that it's going to be hard, but you have to be strong, okay?" Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol. "He'll need you afterwards." While Chanyeol cries, Kyungsoo raises his tone in order to be heard through the closed door and yells out that everything is fine, that Chanyeol is only drunk and has a mental breakdown over something. There is a short conversation between the people outside the door and Kyungsoo, but Chanyeol isn't listening, only hearing Kyungsoo saying a minute later that they are alone now and that nobody is going to bother them. "You have time to calm down now, use it," the man says softly, pulling away from the hug so he can look Chanyeol in the eyes. "Be strong for him. W-we... We can't do anything about this, but how you behave afterwards will have a huge impact on him."

"I don't want them to hurt Baekhyun," Chanyeol only says in reply, looking into Kyungsoo's big eyes as he tries to calm down. It doesn't work. Chanyeol is unable to calm down when he knows that right now Baekhyun is going through hell, being in so much pain that Chanyeol can't even imagine it. "We were just one day away from leaving, _just one fucking day_." It hurts so much more when Chanyeol realizes that Baekhyun was just one day away from being brought somewhere where it's safe for him. What kind of sick game is universe playing with Chanyeol? Why would Baekhyun deserve something like this? "It's so fucking unfair." Slowly but surely, he's not only devastated anymore, more also angry. Furious, even. And Kyungsoo can sense it too, if not from the look in Chanyeol's eyes, then from the soldier's words. "I'm going to kill them for this," Chanyeol says, not a hint of hesitation in his voice. "They are gonna die a slow, painful death for ever daring to hurt him."

"Okay," Kyungsoo agrees, serious. "They'll pay for this. I swear. But now, you have to collect yourself, alright? You can do it. And tomorrow, they'll get what they deserve." When Chanyeol still looks like he'd break again every moment, Kyungsoo takes a hold of Chanyeol's shoulders, shaking slightly with the man. "Baekhyun needs you," he says, frowning. "He'll be... in a bad condition after this-" Chanyeol looks down, taking a shaky breath and feeling another dose of tears coming, but Kyungsoo shakes him again, making the soldier look back up, "-You'll have to piece his broken pieces together, but you won't be able to do that if you're like this. You have to be strong for both of you now. And tomorrow, we'll leave."

"What if something goes wrong again? What if we get caught and-"

"We won't. Don't think about that now," Kyungsoo scolds him. "You have to focus on calming down." Then, thinking a little, Kyungsoo asks, "Should I get Jongin? Will it help you?" And Chanyeol wonders if it would, but then shakes his head no. Not because he doesn't think that Jongin's presence wouldn't help him, but because he is afraid that with Jongin by his side he would calm just momentarily, and then when Jongin would be gone again, Chanyeol would fall apart once more. _I have to do this on my own... for Baekhyun,_ Chanyeol decides, his heart bleeding more when Baekhyun's pretty smile flashes through his mind. He wonders if he will ever see Baekhyun smiling again after this. "Okay. Okay, that's a good decision," Kyungsoo comments, seeing where Chanyeol is coming from. "You're doing great. But if you want to calm down, you actually need to breathe, which you're doing a lousy job of right now."

And so, Chanyeol listens and tries to even his breathing, though it's hard when his whole chest hurts. He can't stop thinking about Baekhyun and what the boy must be going through right now after Chanyeol completely failed to protect him, leaving him in the hands of those two disgusting men. Hoping that they won't hurt Baekhyun too much is pointless, since not only are they horny but also drunk, and all Chanyeol can do - _again_ \- is just try to get Baekhyun together after everything's over. "Did you know Baekhyun?" Chanyeol asks to stop himself from thinking about bad things. "Had you ever met him before he was kidnapped?"

"I have never met him, no," Kyungsoo answers, going along with Chanyeol's method. "But I've heard of him." Kyungsoo chuckles before continuing. "Everyone has heard of him at least once, I'm sure. He was well liked among people because he was very kind. He had lots of secret admires too - or so I've heard." On one hand, Chanyeol is happy to hear that everyone was saying nice things about Baekhyun, but on the other hand, Chanyeol can feel himself turning a little jealous at the mention of the secret admires. He isn't surprised though - Baekhyun is beautiful from inside out, only a blind person would not be able to see it.

"Tell me more about him, please," Chanyeol requests, desperately trying to get his mind off the situation they are currently in. "Whatever you know."

With a sad but understanding smile, Kyungsoo nods. "Okay," he says before he starts, distracting Chanyeol the best he can.

  
  


After talking to Kyungsoo and calming down enough, Chanyeol has decided that he should wait for Woohyun and Heojoon somewhere near the building. Or more like, not wait for them, but wait until they finally exit the building, giving Chanyeol the opportunity to go back to Baekhyun.

Chanyeol doesn't know how long he aimlessly walks around a few meters away from his and Baekhyun's building, but every second seems like a forever. Maybe he's been waiting for a few minutes, maybe for a few hours - Chanyeol doesn't have a clue, but it's not like it matters. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, an eternity; it all blends into one when Chanyeol thinks about how hurt Baekhyun must already be, the occasional screams Chanyeol's ears catch even from this distance reminding Chanyeol of just how powerless in this situation he is. Baekhyun is suffering, and he can do nothing but wait until it's over. Just then, when Woohyun and Heojoon are done torturing the poor boy, can Chanyeol do something, and it pains the soldier incredibly much. Yes, he might be calmer and ready to be strong for both of them - as Kyungsoo has put it - but it doesn't change anything about the fact that Chanyeol's heart is bleeding, aching for Baekhyun.

It starts getting quiet after some time, the celebrations coming to an end as ninety-percent of the guys pass out from either too much alcohol or from being tired, but Chanyeol hates the silence that washes over the camp because now he can hear the cries and pained screams coming from the building a few meters away from him much clearer, Baekhyun's voice audible only faintly but still audible. It's horrible, to hear such sounds and not being able to do anything, and the only thing keeping Chanyeol away from barging in and killing the two assholes at this very moment is the fact that it would definitely ruin their escape plan, since the general would surely look for Woohyun and Heojoon and trouble would arise if he found his favorite soldiers dead. _Kyungsoo promised they'll pay for this_ , Chanyeol repeats in his mind over and over again to keep himself grounded when the urge to go save Baekhyun kicks in again, much stronger than before upon a loud, drunken laugh travels to his ears, the voice belonging to nobody other than Heojoon. Such disgusting laugh; Chanyeol would be always able to tell it apart from any other voice.

Chanyeol doesn't know how much time has passed, but somehow, even without any clock to tell him what time it is, Chanyeol feels like Heojoon and Woohyun are in there for far too long already. Chanyeol starts to get worried a lot, anxiously playing with his hands, hair and clothes, but nothing eases his rapidly beating heart. He knows that Baekhyun is hurt, of course he is aware of that, but Chanyeol hopes that neither of the two assholes have actually did something that could... cost Baekhyun his life.

Chanyeol doesn't want to even think about it, but with so much time passing and suddenly any sounds not being heard from the building, it's only obvious that the worst case scenario starts playing itself out in Chanyeol's head. After all, Heojoon is a sadist when he's sober, but what does the man turn into when he's drunk? Chanyeol doesn't want to imagine it. And then there's the case of Woohyun; Woohyun, who is first of all drunk as well, and secondly, he has been so obviously thirsty for Baekhyun from the very beginning. Getting what he wanted for such a long time, will Woohyun be able to hold back at least a little? Chanyeol doesn't know, but he hopes that while Baekhyun is hurt, he is still alive, or in a condition that doesn't include possible death in the upcoming hours.

God, the possibilities are scaring Chanyeol to death.

 _Stop_ , Chanyeol tells himself when he feels tears in his eyes again, his heart beginning to beat way faster than it should be beating. _Don't think like this. Just don't. It's-_

His train of thoughts is interrupted when Chanyeol can hear the entrance door of the building being opening loudly, and Chanyeol immediately turns in the direction of the noise, his eyes falling on Heojoon and Woohyun as the two step out. Chanyeol doesn't think, doesn't wait a single second before he breaks into a run, making his way to Baekhyun. "Hey Park, have you been waiting here the whole time?" Heojoon asks when he sees Chanyeol approaching them. "Weren't you cold, only in the shirt? You could have come inside."

However, Chanyeol isn't listening to the bullshit falling out of Heojoon's mouth at all, the soldier not sparing the two a glance as he pushes them out of the way so hard that Woohyun stumbles a little. Both of the men curse at Chanyeol, but Chanyeol doesn't listen to this either, simply shutting the door after himself the moment he steps into the hall, hearing his own heartbeat in his ears as he turns the corner, standing on the doorstep of his room.

All the preparing he has done until now, everything Kyungsoo has said to him and everything Chanyeol has said to himself, it's all forgotten when Chanyeol's gaze falls on Baekhyun who is lying on the floor on his side beside the bed, the wounds on his back open and bleeding, coloring the white blanket that is the only thing that's separating Baekhyun's body from the cold ground - and even that only partially, the blanket half under Baekhyun and half still on the bed. There are bite marks all over Baekhyun's neck, shoulders and thighs, mixing in with all of the scratches here and there as well as with the bruises that stand out way too much on Baekhyun's pale skin. Small bruises are on Baekhyun's legs and forearms, but they definitely can't compare to the large bruises Baekhyun has on his hips, and Chanyeol feels his body starting to shake when he thinks about how those bruises were formed. As if it wasn't enough already, Chanyeol's eyes soon catch the bloody wounds on Baekhyun's wrists, the skin here scratched raw, and it doesn't take a genius to know that the assholes have tied Baekhyun's hands together with something and weren't careful at all about how tight they tied it around the sensitive skin of Baekhyun's wrists.

However, what truly sends shivers down Chanyeol's spine and makes the soldier fall to his knees is the blood covering Baekhyun's inner thighs and the insides of the boy's ass cheeks, and although he promised not to cry in front of Baekhyun because Baekhyun needs support right now, Chanyeol can't help but break into tears, muting his sobs with the hand that he puts over his mouth. He tries to calm down and collect himself, he really does try, but it's so hard to even take a breath when he feels like dying every time he glances up and sees all of the injuries on Baekhyun's body.

Chanyeol knows he couldn't have prevented it. Baekhyun had told him that he won't be able to do anything before it even happened, and Kyungsoo spent quite some time talking sense into Chanyeol, but still, upon seeing how terribly hurt Baekhyun is, Chanyeol feels guilty beyond belief - among many, many other things. It makes him doubt himself, and for a moment he starts asking himself if there really wasn't anything he could have done to spare Baekhyun from this suffering, but his questions soon disappear into thin air when Chanyeol hears Baekhyun's quiet voice piercing the silence of the room. "Chanyeol...?" he calls out, whispering in such a strained tone that Chanyeol's heart breaks into more pieces. For a moment, Chanyeol can't move, only staring at Baekhyun's unmoving body that is covered in bruises and disgusting marks left on the velvety skin, but when Baekhyun calls for him again, Chanyeol knows that this is what Kyungsoo was talking about - Baekhyun needs him now more than ever, and Chanyeol needs to be strong despite feeling like dying.

"I'm here," the soldier says after gulping the lump that was in his throat. _Get a hold of yourself,_ Chanyeol orders himself as he stands up on his shaky legs, holding onto the doorframe for support. _You need to be here for him now._ "I'm here now," Chanyeol repeats, taking a deep breath and exhaling afterwards, clenching his fists as he lets go of the doorframe and slowly walks over to Baekhyun, feeling like the ground he's walking on is being taken away from underneath his trembling legs.

The closer he gets to Baekhyun, the better he gets to see Baekhyun's face, and he almost falls to the floor once more upon seeing the huge bruise on Baekhyun's cheek and a white trail of sperm dripping down the boy's chin - the realization of how it got here comes to Chanyeol right away, and his stomach turns uncomfortably, Chanyeol feeling bile rising in his throat when he imagines Baekhyun being forced to swallow the come. It makes Chanyeol as angry as it makes him sad.

Baekhyun's eyes are closed, as if Baekhyun didn't even have energy to open them, but Chanyeol is sure that the pretty blue orbs are puffy and red from crying, the tears that are wetting Baekhyun's eye-lashes and cheeks being enough of an indication. _What did they do to you?_ Chanyeol asks silently, biting his lips to keep himself from crying. Looking at Baekhyun's face and at Baekhyun's body, Chanyeol feels his blood boiling with fury because this _shouldn't have happened_ and he has the urge to find Heojoon and Woohyun right now so he beat them to death for this _,_ but the pain in his heart and the misery that envelopes him is taking away all the strength his body possesses, making it impossible for Chanyeol to as much as walk and talk, let alone fight. _They'll pay for this. I'll make them pay for this,_ is the last thing Chanyeol thinks before breathing out and letting all of his anger go for now, knowing that Baekhyun would feel his frustration, and all that Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to feel right now is love that Chanyeol harbours in his heart for the boy.

Kneeling down beside Baekhyun's body and slowly taking a hold of the boy's pretty hand, Chanyeol apologizes to Baekhyun. "I'm sorry for what happened," he says. He is aware that Baekhyun doesn't blame him, but it doesn't mean Chanyeol doesn't have to urge to apologize. Besides, it's not like Chanyeol saying this means that he is putting the blame on himself; he is simply... sorry that Baekhyun had to go through this. "I-I... uh-" _What? What do I want to say?_ Honestly, Chanyeol doesn't even know. What can he say and what he can't? In such a situation, Chanyeol doesn't have a clue what to say other than apology.

However, Baekhyun spares Chanyeol the trouble. "Are they gone?" he asks, his lips moving just barely when he talks. "P-Please... tell me they are gone."

And again, despite Chanyeol trying so hard to keep it in, tears start falling out of Chanyeol's eyes, the soldier not being able to keep himself from crying. "Yeah," Chanyeol nods, a broken smile forming on his lips as he reaches for Baekhyun, pulling the boy into his lap as carefully as possible. Baekhyun tenses and whimpers in pain when he is being moved, his body hurting even though Chanyeol is gentle with him. "They won't be coming back," assuring Baekhyun, Chanyeol grabs the part of the blanket that is still on the bed and throws it over the boy in an attempt to warm him up, thinking that Baekhyun must be cold if his body temperature is anything to go by - Baekhyun's skin is freezing-cold underneath Chanyeol's fingertips.

Upon hearing that Woohyun and Heojoon are gone for good, Baekhyun relaxes in Chanyeol's hold, his head falling to the side on Chanyeol's chest. For a few seconds it's completely quiet, Baekhyun breathing so shallowly that the soldier gets scared momentarily because of thinking that Baekhyun isn't breathing at all, but then the silence is pierced by Baekhyun coughing a little, the boy whispering _my throat hurts_ afterwards with a raspy voice. Then, however, Baekhyun corrects himself, saying, "My w-whole body hurts," and Chanyeol's heart clenches painfully, the soldier biting the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from letting out a sob. _Get a hold of yourself,_ he repeats the same thing from before to his slowly breaking self, being aware that him crying won't change anything and won't help anything either. He needs to take care of Baekhyun now, not cry over what's already done.

Chanyeol knows that, but it's still so hard to keep his composure when Baekhyun is in such a horrible condition, lying in Chanyeol's arms on the verge of passing out.

"You're going to be alright," Chanyeol chokes out, using the rim of his shirt to wipe Baekhyun's mouth and chin clean, getting rid of the left-over come there. "I'm gonna take care of you," he continues, brushing the hair out of Baekhyun's eyes and caressing the boy's cheek with his fingertips, making sure not to touch the bruise there. Upon the tender touch, Baekhyun opens his eyes just barely, looking at Chanyeol from under his eye-lashes for a second, but then his eyes fall shut again, Baekhyun having literally zero energy left.

It doesn't come as a surprise when Baekhyun passes out only a moment later, and though Chanyeol has never thought he'd say it, he is glad that Baekhyun has lost consciousness. At least this way Baekhyun won't be able to feel the pain that would come with Chanyeol treating his wounds and cleaning him up, and he'll get the rest he so desperately needs after such a horrible experience. In the meantime, Chanyeol will take care of him, and when Baekhyun wakes up - probably sometime in the morning - he will already have all of his wounds treated.

"I'm so sorry," Chanyeol whispers while knowing Baekhyun can't hear him and leans in to place a kiss on Baekhyun's forehead, gulping down the lump in his throat. Chanyeol, too, feels like he has zero energy, his strength being sucked out of him with every glance he chances at Baekhyun's tears-streaked face and skinny, bruised legs that are sticking out of the blanket. "I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything to protect you," the soldier says, regretful. He is aware that if Baekhyun could hear him he would muster all of his strength to tell Chanyeol that it's alright and that it's not his fault, which is why Chanyeol is saying these things now when Baekhyun can't tell him to stop, the soldier needing to let it out so the words won't weigh him down later. "I love you so much, and I'll forever hate myself for letting them hurt you. I will never forgive myself for how powerless I was." Running a hand through Baekhyun's dark locks gently, Chanyeol feels another dose of tears coming upon imagining all of the horrible things Baekhyun had to do today. "You deserved none of this, and I swear I will kill them for what they've done to you. I won't let them get away."

For a few minutes, Chanyeol just sits on the ground with Baekhyun in his arms, crying silently as he trails the bruises on Baekhyun's face, neck and shoulder with his fingers, hating how his mind immediately creates the images of how possibly the bruises has got here. It's all so unsettling, to look down at such an innocent boy and see the damage that was done to him, and Chanyeol truly has a hard time composing himself despite knowing that him feeling sorry for Baekhyun won't change anything about what happened. How can Chanyeol just be okay with this, though? It's impossible. His Baekhyun was used, raped without mercy, and while _be strong for Baekhyun_ plays on repeat in Chanyeol's head, it seems impossible to follow the voice telling him to get it together. Chanyeol feels all but strong. To be honest, he thinks that he has never felt more weak in his entire life.

It takes some time before Chanyeol is able to function again, but when eventually Chanyeol stops crying and collects himself, he wipes away his tears and heaves Baekhyun up from the ground, putting him on the bed afterwards, stomach down. He takes off the blanket and reveals Baekhyun's bare body, averting his gaze momentarily because another wave of anger mixed with sadness hits him upon seeing the again-opened whip wounds on Baekhyun's back, the multiple bites accompanying the bruises around Baekhyun's hips and legs, and the dry blood that's all over Baekhyun's inner thighs. Chanyeol doesn't even want to think about how much it must have hurt when Woohyun and Heojoon teared Baekhyun apart from the inside ruthlessly, not caring that Baekhyun's hole is obviously not used to intrusion. _Did they ignore it completely?_ Chanyeol wonders, looking back at Baekhyun and staring down at all the dried-out blood, placing a hand over Baekhyun's bruised hip gently. "Why did it have to be you?" Chanyeol whispers sadly. There are so many people that could have caught the assholes attention, but out all everyone, they laid their eyes on Baekhyun. On Chanyeol's Baekhyun.

Sighing, Chanyeol goes over to his wardrobe and pulls out all the medical supplies he hoped he would never have to use again, bringing them to bed and placing them by Baekhyun's unmoving body. Chanyeol decides to take care of Baekhyun's injuries quickly, not wanting the boy to freeze as he lies naked in such a cold weather, and so, he doesn't waste any more time pitying the boy and instead runs over to the bathroom and fills the two buckets he always uses during Baekhyun's treatment with water, returning back to his room with the buckets in his hands afterwards. They feel way heavier than they used to.

Firstly, he wipes off all the blood carefully, the tears in his eyes blurring his vision, some of them even falling out of Chanyeol's eyes when Chanyeol has to clean the insides of Baekhyun’s thighs and bottom. There is quite a lot of dried-out blood and it's clear that Baekhyun must be seriously hurt inside if he bled so much, but Chanyeol is no doctor and he is unable to treat the tear inside of Baekhyun's body; he can only give Baekhyun this pathetic excuse of a medical treatment, and nothing more. Chanyeol hopes that if they truly make it to South, Baekhyun will receive a real treatment by real doctors, by someone who would truly help him and not only put healing ointment on his wounds, patch him up and act like they did a great job. Baekhyun deserves more than this.

However, despite being far from a professional, Chanyeol tries his best, being as gentle as possible when he puts the mentioned healing ointment on Baekhyun's wounds despite knowing that Baekhyun wouldn't be able to feel it even if Chanyeol was a little rougher with him anyway. However, even if it takes more time to do everything tenderly and precisely, Chanyeol decides to go this way because the idea of not being careful with Baekhyun disgusts him, and he himself can't imagine himself not treating Baekhyun with utmost care.

It takes quite a long time before Chanyeol cleans Baekhyun up completely and treats all the small or big cuts and bruises, but when he's finally finished, he quickly takes Baekhyun in his arms again and takes him to the other room, putting the boy on the bed in the room that used to be his at the beginning. Chanyeol doesn't like bringing Baekhyun back here because it somehow feels way colder in here than in Chanyeol's room though the temperature should logically be the same, but there is no other way; Chanyeol definitely won't let Baekhyun go back to _that_ room and he will also not let him sleep in _that_ disgusting bed. Besides, it's just one night, so this arrangement will do. Plus, Chanyeol has even changed the sheets and blankets here although there was not really a need for it, since Baekhyun was sleeping with him in Chanyeol's room, and thus it's not like Chanyeol is putting the boy in a bed that's dirty - good thing he made the effort to put clean bedding on though, since now it comes in handy.

After putting Baekhyun in the bed and turning him to lie on the side instead of his injured back, he tucks Baekhyun in with at least three blankets to make sure the boy won't be cold. Chanyeol sits down on the ground beside the bed and takes a hold of Baekhyun's hand, putting his head on the mattress as he stares at the boy's sleeping face. It reminds him of the time he sat like this weeks ago when Baekhyun passed out, but the difference is that now it feels so much worse.

Chanyeol has treated Baekhyun's wounds the best he could, but the problem is; how is Baekhyun holding up mentally? Baekhyun has always been strong, the strongest person Chanyeol knows for sure, but the soldier doesn't think that Baekhyun has the power to get over this as quickly as he always does. Not this time. This time, it's so much more than his body that was hurt, and Chanyeol is so, so afraid that this horrible experience will change Baekhyun. It wouldn't be surprising at all, definitely not, but Chanyeol wishes so badly that Baekhyun would not close off and distance himself from Chanyeol because Chanyeol can't imagine a life without Baekhyun in it anymore. He has gotten way too used to Baekhyun's clinginess and morning kisses, the hugs and affectionate gestures - he doesn't know if he'll be able to lose all of that after getting a taste of what it feels like to be given such attention from the person he loves. However, while Chanyeol doesn't want Baekhyun to change, he also knows that it's inevitable that what happened today will have an impact on the boy; Chanyeol only worries to which extent. Will Baekhyun change completely, or not? Will he become afraid of physical contact even though it was the thing that was able to calm him until now?

How broken exactly Baekhyun is?

The questions and worries keep Chanyeol up all night, and when he does doze off, it's only for a few short minutes. Then, when he wakes up again, he continues to stare at Baekhyun, playing with the boy's slender fingers, kissing the small hand almost every five seconds, the smoothness of Baekhyun's skin easing his pained heart. He is so incredibly worried about Baekhyun that he doesn't let go of the boy's hand the whole night, holding on it as if it was his lifeline, squeezing it and pampering every millimeter with kisses, hoping that Baekhyun is able to feel Chanyeol's love from those kisses even in this unconscious state. After all, love is all that Baekhyun deserves.

When the night sky starts changing and the rising sun's first sun rays shine down on the land, Chanyeol impatiently waits for Baekhyun to wake up like the boy always does. However, Baekhyun... doesn't wake up. The boy's eyelids don't even flutter, the small body completely still like it was during the whole night, and if it wasn't for the heaving and falling of Baekhyun's chest, Chanyeol would already panic - more than he is panicking now. _Why is he not waking up? He always does,_ Chanyeol thinks, feeling his breathing becoming uneven. "Come on, Baek," Chanyeol urges, staring at Baekhyun's face as if his life depended on it. He has never thought that the first time he collects the courage to call Baekhyun by this nickname would be at a time like this - when Baekhyun is not waking up, worrying Chanyeol's already scared self. "Why are you still sleeping?" Chanyeol asks as if Baekhyun were to answer him.

Chanyeol knows he shouldn't be taking Baekhyun not waking up on time seriously, given that his body is tired and hurt, but he cannot _not_ take it seriously, because since Baekhyun was brought here, the boy has never failed to wake up with the sun, not even once. "Baekhyun... wake up," Chanyeol urges, squeezing the boy's hand tighter. Could it be that Baekhyun is way more hurt than Chanyeol expected? Is he really on the verge of not waking up again? Have Woohyun and Heojoon really hurt him so much that Baekhyun isn't able to recover?

Someone would call him a drama queen, or say that he is overreacting for the smallest of things, but after yesterday, Chanyeol can't stop himself from overthinking everything. After seeing Baekhyun in such a state the other day - or more specifically, this morning - Chanyeol has all of the worst scenarios in his head, and so it's a given that he is worried if even one thing is hinting at those possible bad outcomes.

"Baekhyun, don't play with me," Chanyeol whispers, his head falling on the mattress in dejection. The longer he waits for Baekhyun to wake up the more anxious he gets, and Chanyeol doesn't know for how long he can live with this growing worry in his heart. It's mind-wrenching, but there is nothing Chanyeol can do to wake Baekhyun up, and so, he waits. He waits for god knows how long, his head on the mattress in the same position the whole time, eyes closed so he won't be able to see the room getting lightened up by the sun because it would only remind him of how Baekhyun should have woken up a long time ago. Chanyeol is so worried that he also completely forgets to go pick up their breakfast, too busy to think about it as he plays with Baekhyun's hand, calming his unsteady beating heart this way.

 _Wake up, wake up, wake up,_ Chanyeol repeats in his mind, and maybe the thoughts have reached Baekhyun, because when Chanyeol says it for himself for the twentieth time, Baekhyun stirs on the bed, squeezing back Chanyeol's hand without even knowing. Immediately, Chanyeol looks up, wide eyes staring at Baekhyun as the boy slowly opens his eyelids, his eyes just gazing up at the ceiling for a few moments.

Now when Baekhyun is up, Chanyeol starts worrying about a different thing; how will Baekhyun react to seeing him? How will he react to Chanyeol holding his hand? Again, his head is full of new questions and his mind creates the worst case scenarios because that's just how Chanyeol is, but thank the higher powers, Chanyeol doesn't have to torture himself with his thoughts for too long this time because it takes only a few seconds for Baekhyun to avert his eyes from the ceiling, blue orbs gazing at Chanyeol firstly with confusion and then with recognition.

Chanyeol's breath hitches as he waits for a reaction, the soldier not even blinking.

And Baekhyun smiles. He smiles at Chanyeol with one of his beautiful smiles, but soon the smile changes into a grimace and Baekhyun's lower lip starts to quiver, his pretty blue eyes watering. The boy opens his mouth, ready to say something, and Chanyeol only stares at him with anticipation, preparing himself for the worst. However, what he says - or more like, asks - is, "Where is my _good morning_ greeting?" And that's all it takes for Chanyeol to break into tears, the soldier throwing himself at Baekhyun, hugging the boy and crying into the crook of Baekhyun's neck.

"Good morning, angel," Chanyeol whispers, shutting his eyes tightly and fighting the sobs that are threatening to escape his lips. He doesn't put his whole weight on Baekhyun, not wanting to hurt the boy more, but he still hold Baekhyun close to his chest, breathing in the scent he loves so much. "I'm so happy you woke up," Chanyeol sobs, not able to keep himself collected. "I feared- I feared that you wouldn't. I was so scared, Baekhyun." Chanyeol goes on, placing butterfly kisses on Baekhyun's bruised neck. "Don't scare me like this again, please." Baekhyun mumbles something in response, but Chanyeol doesn't catch it, and so he pulls away a little, looking into Baekhyun's glassy eyes as he requests Baekhyun to repeat what he said.

"Do you still like me?" Baekhyun asks in a quiet voice, doubt clear in his tone. "Even... Even when I'm like this, do you still like me?"

Chanyeol hopes the kiss he gives Baekhyun is enough of an answer. "How could I not like you?" Chanyeol throws a question of his own at Baekhyun, resting his forehead against the boy's, feeling his rapid heartbeat relax. Finally, he feels relief instead of fear and worry as he holds Baekhyun close, staring into Baekhyun's mesmerizing eyes and thanking the universe that Baekhyun has woken up in the end. For a moment, Chanyeol truly got the scare of his life. "How are you feeling?" Chanyeol asks, cupping Baekhyun's cheek gently.

Chanyeol sees emotions flashing in Baekhyun's eyes the very moment he asks - _Dirty. Used. Worthless. Disgusting. Ugly. Tired._ All of these words are so clear in Baekhyun's eyes that Chanyeol can almost hear them, but in the end, Baekhyun decides for only one word. "Bad," he replies, a broken smile on his lips. "I feel so-" Baekhyun's voice breaks and the boy has to take a shaky breath to finish his sentence. "I feel so bad, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol doesn't ask anything after that, he just pulls Baekhyun to his chest, his shirt catching every one of Baekhyun's tears as Baekhyun starts to cry. He holds Baekhyun close for yesterday, hoping that it will make up for the time he wasn't there when Baekhyun needed him the most.

  
  


Baekhyun has fallen sick. It becomes clear pretty quickly, and Chanyeol finds himself worrying about Baekhyun's condition even more, because now it's not only the physical injuries but also the high fever Baekhyun sports. His whole body is so hot that Chanyeol could boil water if he put it on Baekhyun's skin, the boy's coughing becomes more frequent than Baekhyun's intake of breaths, his cheeks are reddish and eyes glassy. "I'll be fine soon," Baekhyun had said in the morning, but it's after lunch now and Baekhyun still isn't any better - to be honest, he's gotten worse. Chanyeol had to help him eat too because Baekhyun's body was way too weak to even get up. Or, more specifically, he was so weak and in pain that he started crying when Chanyeol tried to get him into a sitting position, but still refused to give up, saying that he can do it and that he is also craving for some food.

Chanyeol hates seeing Baekhyun like this; not only incredibly hurt but also sick, his body weakened even more because of the high fever. The boy can't even move without Chanyeol's help, not having an ounce of strength left in him, and while Chanyeol has seen Baekhyun in a bad condition many times by now, this is by far the worst Baekhyun has been in the past two-and-something months since being brought here. Baekhyun's bad condition might not be surprising given the events that happened a few hours ago, but that doesn't mean Chanyeol has an easy time accepting that Baekhyun can't even inhale without feeling like dying, letting Chanyeol know about the pain he feels in the form of silent cries and whimpers.

Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to be well again, not liking the ragdoll state Baekhyun is in right now at all, but he knows that for that he has to do more than sit by Baekhyun's bed and pity the boy.

And so, instead of thinking about why nothing is going according to plan and why bad things keep happening, Chanyeol tends to Baekhyun the whole day, leaving Baekhyun's side only when truly necessary. He tucks Baekhyun under not only blankets, but adds both of his jackets on the top of the duvet to make it warmer, then adds all of the shirts he has in his wardrobe. He even goes to kitchens to beg for a cup of tea, purposely going after people that like him enough to nod to the request - while here, he also receives a message on a small piece of paper from Kyungsoo that tells him to meet him fifteen minutes sooner before the planned escape, and so Chanyeol doesn't return back to Baekhyun with only a cup of hot herbal tea but also with new orders. He understands perfectly what are those fifteen minutes for, and honestly, he can't wait to get his revenge. Him killing the assholes might not turn back time, but Chanyeol believes that Heojoon and Woohyun deserve to pay for what they did, and he'll have zero mercy when the time comes - they had no mercy with Baekhyun either, so Chanyeol doesn't see why he should be anything but ruthless with them. The world will be a better place without them, anyway.

The day goes by slowly, agonizingly so, and Chanyeol stays by Baekhyun's side the whole time as promised, giving the boy all of his attention and showering him with love, caressing his hand and cheeks, kissing him everywhere he can, and Baekhyun - to Chanyeol's initial surprise - doesn't shy away even once. It's the exact opposite, actually; Baekhyun always leans into the touch and seeks kisses just like he seeks physical contact, but there is a hint of hesitation in his blue eyes every time he does so, and Chanyeol wonders if it has got something to do with the question Baekhyun asked him in the morning about Chanyeol still liking him or not - Does Baekhyun think that Chanyeol will leave him now or something? Does he think that Chanyeol doesn't love him anymore after what happened?

Chanyeol doesn't know what is going on in Baekhyun's head, doesn't know whether there are thoughts of Chanyeol not feeling the same about him or not inside of the boy's skull, but Chanyeol makes sure to clear all the doubt Baekhyun might have, not proving his love with actions only but also with words, whispering confessions into Baekhyun's ear throughout the day, feeling his heart jump in his chest when Baekhyun smiles at him prettily despite the pain he's in. Baekhyun is truly the prettiest when he smiles, and Chanyeol wishes to see more of the boy's beautiful smile instead of the pained expression Baekhyun has on his face most of time.

Chanyeol tells a lot of things to Baekhyun during the time they are together, but what he still doesn't reveal is the fact that they are leaving today. It's not like Chanyeol is being oblivious to the fact that him keeping this from Baekhyun is a bad thing though - actually, he is very well aware of his lying being unfair to Baekhyun - it's just that he has been avoiding this topic for so long that now there's suddenly no time to address it. The past five days, Chanyeol has been waiting for a good time to tell Baekhyun about the escape plan, but it always ended with him saying _later_ and then adding more _later_ s as time passed, and while he definitely feels guilty for not telling the truth to the boy, he would feel more guilty about telling Baekhyun now, stressing Baekhyun out when he's in this horrible condition, and so, Chanyeol decides to just not mention it at all. Only a few hours are left anyway, and if Baekhyun will be angry at him for lying afterwards, then the few more hours won't make a difference.

And by _few hours_ Chanyeol means four hours, to be exact.

Honestly, he's starting to get nervous - or anxious would be a better word. They are so close to finally leaving this shithole, but with happiness and anticipation also comes another dose of worry because after everything that has gone wrong in just one day, Chanyeol can't expect the escape to go smoothly - even his optimism has long disappeared, and the forced positivity doesn't really help. However, as Kyungsoo said, Chanyeol shouldn't think about the bad outcomes for it will only worry him more, and so, while it's pretty hard, Chanyeol tries to imagine how will a life with Baekhyun in a better place look like instead of thinking about how big is the chance of the escape failing. It helps, at least for the time being.

And then, suddenly, Chanyeol doesn't have space to worry, because the time he has been waiting for for the past five days comes.

"Where are you going?" Baekhyun asks him quietly when Chanyeol kisses the boy's warm cheek before letting go of Baekhyun's pretty and hand standing up from the ground.

Again, Chanyeol has to lie, but this time it's partially true as well. "I promised to see Jongin," he says. Technically, Jongin is supposed to be there as well according to what Kyungsoo has said. "I'll be back quickly, okay?" Baekhyun nods after a while, but Chanyeol can see the words _don't leave me here alone_ all over his face. "I promise nobody's other than me will come. And I broke my promise only once, so don't doubt me," saying that, Chanyeol leans in and kisses Baekhyun once more, adjusting the dump towel on Baekhyun's forehead. "Don't worry too much or you won't get better."

Of course Chanyeol feels bad for leaving Baekhyun alone, but no there is no other choice. Besides, now he is at least sure - as sure as he can be in a world where everything keeps screwing up Chanyeol's plans - that nobody will come in here, since Woohyun and Heojoon should already be with Kyungsoo, and nobody else can enter the building or a punishment will await them.

With one more kiss to Baekhyun's button nose, Chanyeol leaves the room with one last glance at the boy. _I'll make them pay for what they did to you,_ the soldier thinks as he closes the door, letting the single bulb on the ceiling lightening up the room so Baekhyun won't be left in darkness.

Until now, Chanyeol feared that something might go wrong, but now as he is on his way to meet Kyungsoo, Chanyeol only feels the thirst of revenge. His hands are balled in fists and his face is scrunched up into an expression full of darkness and fury, brows furrowed and the look in his eyes deadly, and Chanyeol feels more powerful with every step he takes toward the kitchens where Kyungsoo is supposed to be already waiting for him along with Jongin. And along with Woohyun and Heojoon.

Chanyeol is careful as he makes his way to the back door of the kitchen building, making sure no night guard would see him. It takes some time to get to the place of meeting because Chanyeol purposely goes around the buildings to hide himself, but to be honest, Chanyeol is glad it takes a minute longer to get to the kitchens - that way all the anger and hatred has time to turn into strength that Chanyeol will gladly use to teach the fuckers a lesson before he sends them to hell.

When Chanyeol finally gets a hold of the doorknob and opens the back door, he feels powerful.

The first person he sees is Jongin who is leaning against the table in the middle of the room, his friend looking up at the sound of door opening. The look in Jongin's eyes is full of pity and his voice isn't any different as he says, "I'm sorry for-" then, he thinks of the phrasing for a second. "-I'm sorry for what happened to Baekhyun." Jongin looks genuinely sorry, sad, and Chanyeol's heart clenches painfully at the mention of Baekhyun.

"Me too," Chanyeol replies with, closing the doors after himself and looking around to find Kyungsoo. The whole day he had zero energy because even the little strength he possessed, he wanted to give it all to Baekhyun, but now when he knows he's just a few seconds away from taking his revenge, he is overflowing with power. "Kyungsoo is-"

"Here," Kyungsoo appears out of nowhere, almost startling Chanyeol. "They were stupid enough to fall for the lie, idiots," the short man comments glancing to the side, and when Chanyeol follows Kyungsoo's line of vision, his eyes fall on Woohyun who is lying on the ground with hands tied behind his back and mouth filled with a cloth that makes it impossible for him to talk. Heojoon by his side looks the same, and Chanyeol chuckles darkly when Heojoon looks up from the ground and meets Chanyeol's eyes. _Not so great to be on the receiving end all of sudden, huh?_ Chanyeol thinks, walking past Kyungsoo and squatting down in front of the two. Heojoon looks like he desperately wants to say something, like he wants to scream, and Chanyeol has so much fun upon seeing the man only writhing on the ground without being able to actually say anything.

"Ten minutes, then you'll have to go back," Kyungsoo tells him, handing Chanyeol a knife which Chanyeol gladly takes. He has never liked violence - he hates it, actually - but this is something he needs to do, something he wants to do. At least for ten minutes, he will put them in Baekhyun's shoes and will gloat when he sees them begging for mercy.

"Fine," Chanyeol says, gripping the knife tighter in his hand. "More than enough."

The first thing Chanyeol does is reminding Heojoon of the time the asshole cut Baekhyun's stomach, and he doesn't have the words to describe how amazing it feels to see Heojoon writhing in pain under him as Chanyeol pulls up the man's shirt and craves _dirty rapist_ into Heojoon's skin. "Why all the fuss?" Chanyeol asks mockingly when he puts the knife on the table beside him afterwards, looking down at Heojoon with taunting eyes. "It's just a superficial wound, right?" he repeats Heojoon's own words, thrilled when Heojoon trashes with his body, attempting to push Chanyeol away. However, all that Heojoon manages to do is anger Chanyeol more, and the punch Heojoon gets only a second later is entirely his own fault. Not like he'd escape it, but he called it on himself sooner.

The thing is, Chanyeol is not able to stop after just one punch. His body seems to have a brain of its own as all the memories of what Heojoon has done to Baekhyun flood his mind, and after another punch comes another, and another, and another, until Heojoon's face is all bloody, the man attempting to move away. "What?" Chanyeol asks, furious as he punches Heojoon again. "You enjoyed hitting Baekhyun, so why aren't you enjoying it now?" Of course Heojoon can't answer, and that's why it's all even better - Chanyeol can say whatever, and Heojoon won't be able to get anything out of his disgusting mouth. "Why aren't you looking at me, hm?" Chanyeol questions further, remembering how Heojoon always demanded Baekhyun to keep his eyes open even though Baekhyun was on the verge of passing out. And just like Baekhyun, Heojoon receives another hit for not being able to look at Chanyeol, the young soldier asking afterwards, "How does it feel, asshole? That's what you deserve for being a fucking dick." To be honest, Heojoon deserves even worse, but Chanyeol doesn't have that enough time to show the asshole just how big of a beating he deserves, and so when Kyungsoo tells him _five minutes left,_ Chanyeol doesn't waste more time on the fucker, taking the knife in his hand and slitting the man's throat without hesitation, not averting his gaze and looking directly into Heojoon's eyes as the light fades away from the man's orbs. It's satisfying.

When he's sure Heojoon is dead, Chanyeol turns his attention to Woohyun who has been watching the scene the whole time. "Enjoyed the show?" Chanyeol asks in a voice that doesn't even sound like his. "Because you're next." Woohyun has a lot more courage than Heojoon though, because unlike Heojoon, Woohyun has the nerve to glare at Chanyeol, no fear in his eyes. As if he was expecting this to happen, as if he was expecting Chanyeol to take revenge on him.

When Chanyeol punches him, it feels great beyond belief. Maybe even better than when he punched Heojoon, the reason for it being that no matter how badly Heojoon had beaten Baekhyun, he had never actually thought of sleeping with him. It was only after Woohyun mentioned Baekhyun's beauty that Heojoon started thinking about it for real, the asshole planting the idea of raping Baekhyun into Heojoon's stupid head. And for that, for looking at the innocent Baekhyun in this light and acting upon the disgusting desires, forcing the boy into giving in, Woohyun is so much more deserving of Chanyeol's fury and hatred.

Chanyeol punches the asshole, kicks him, cuts him with the knife, but somehow it still isn't enough. By now he should be satisfied at least a little, so why isn't he? With Heojoon, Chanyeol was already feeling lighter at this point, but with Woohyun, he feels nothing. He feels empty, and though the hits he gifts Woohyun with are satisfying on their own, they don't make Chanyeol feel better in the long run. _Why?_ Chanyeol asks himself over and over again, every one of his silent _why_ s followed by a hit. _Why doesn't it feel good?_

Perhaps it's because Woohyun isn't struggling at all, taking it all while looking Chanyeol with a mocking glint in his eyes as if the pain isn't fazing him at all. It makes Chanyeol even angrier because he wants the jerk to suffer, to feel the pain and beg for mercy so Chanyeol can ignore the pleas wholeheartedly, but Woohyun does none of it.

"Chanyeol," Kyungsoo calls out after some time. "Time's up." But Chanyeol doesn't listen, only punching Woohyun more, desperate to get a real reaction. " _Chanyeol,_ " Kyungsoo's voice pierces the room again, this time with more urgent and serious, but Chanyeol ignores this as well, too caught up in hitting Woohyun to listen to the doe-eyed man that's trying so hard to catch his attention.

It's only when Jongin squats down beside him and grabs his forearm that Chanyeol finally stops, the soldier breathing heavily and glaring down at the piece of trash underneath him but not punching anymore. "We have to go," Jongin says softly, squeezing Chanyeol's forearm. "He's had enough."

Chanyeol shakes his head. "No, he hasn't," he says, grabbing a fistful of Woohyun's shirt and pulling him up slightly. "He deserves so much more for what he did." Swayed by hundreds and hundreds of emotions, Chanyeol gets rid of the cloth in Woohyun's mouth before he asks angrily, "Did you enjoy it, you shitty excuse of a human being?" Spitting the words, Chanyeol shakes with Woohyun furiously. "Did you enjoy forcing yourself on Baekhyun?"

Woohyun is quiet for a while, and after coughing a little and spitting out the blood in his mouth when Chanyeol lets his body fall to the ground, Woohyun smirks. "It was the best fuck of my life, to be honest," he says, looking at Chanyeol intensely and waiting for the young soldier's reaction with an amused spark in his eyes. When Chanyeol only punches him again and curses at him, Woohyun continues, "He was tight like a virgin, it was amazing." Then, Woohyun dares to laugh before he coughs violently again, his breathing becoming shallow. "However, it was really off-putting when he started thrashing around when I wanted to come in his mouth." A short pause, and then, "Not like he had a choice."

"You fucking-"

"Chanyeol, we have to _go_ ," Jongin attempts again, trying to pull Chanyeol away. "Do you want to make it out of here or not?" That breaks him out of his trance, Chanyeol finally coming back to reality and taking the knife he put away in his hand again.

"Of course I do," but not because of himself, because of Baekhyun. Baekhyun needs to get out of here, and Chanyeol won't screw up his chances on giving Baekhyun a better life for an asshole who doesn't deserve to breathe on this planet. And so, without another thought, Chanyeol stabs Woohyun with the knife, twisting the weapon in Woohyun's stomach - he could slit the jerk's throat like he did with Heojoon, but no. Chanyeol wants Woohyun to die slower. "The fuck are you mumbling?" Chanyeol questions when he sees Woohyun's lips moving but doesn't hear any words coming out. "Say it louder."

As a trail of blood drips down Woohyun's chin, the man smirks once more and looks directly at Chanyeol. For a moment, he just stares into Chanyeol's eyes, but then, when he feels the last bits of life leaving him, he stutters out, "W-When I fucked him-" a cough, "he c-called for help." _Of course he did,_ Chanyeol says in his head. _Who wouldn't be?_ "He called- He called for you," Woohyun finishes his thought with a cruel laugh. "He w-was calling f-for you the-the whole time."

"You _bastard_ ," Chanyeol growls, plunging the knife deeper in Woohyun's stomach, ending it. However, there is still not any satisfaction as Woohyun breathes out for the last time, the man's head falling to the side, his lifeless eyes staring into distance. "You fucking asshole," Chanyeol doesn't stop cursing even when Woohyun's already dead, hitting the man's chest as tears start to prickle his eyes. Hearing that Baekhyun was calling for him, begging for help, and Chanyeol wasn't there is one of the things Chanyeol surely didn't want to hear. It's not like he would be able to help Baekhyun if he was there and heard the pleas, but _still_. How alone, how hurt, and how afraid must have Baekhyun felt?

"Chanyeol, come on," Kyungsoo urges him this time, placing a hand on Chanyeol's shoulders. "You need to get Baekhyun. I'll take care of the guards but you have to hurry."

"Fuck you," Chanyeol curses at Woohyun one more time before finally picking himself up from the ground, wiping his bloody hands to the towel Kyungsoo hands him. "I won't be late, don't worry," the soldiers says with certainty. After all, he wouldn't risk Baekhyun's life, knowing that the boy would be in great danger - just like all of them - if they were caught because of Chanyeol getting too carried away now. Throwing the towel on the ground beside the two dead bodies, Chanyeol exhales deeply to calm himself. He can't return to Baekhyun in such a state. "I'll be careful, but you must be too. Don't let anything happen to you," Chanyeol tells both of the cooks, but his gaze focuses on Jongin unconsciously because his friend looks as scared as Chanyeol felt the whole day.

Feeling that Chanyeol sees right into his soul, Jongin attempts to shake his worries off, saying, "It's going to work out. Everything's going to work out." But his voice trembles slightly, and it's not until Kyungsoo intertwines their fingers that Jongin relaxes a little, running a hand through his dark hair and exhaling deeply, using Chanyeol's calming-down method. "Go already if you don't want to be late," Jongin says then, giving Chanyeol a small smile. "You're always late, so try not to be this time."

The sudden reminder of their young times when Chanyeol never made it anywhere on time makes Chanyeol chuckle in amusement, and when he exits the kitchen building a second later, he feels the slightest bit lighter because of the comment even though Woohyun's words are still on his mind. However, he tries not to care so much because all that he should focus on right now is Baekhyun and how the boy will be finally out of here if the plan succeeds. And Chanyeol will fucking make sure that the plan succeeds - or, at least, he'll do his best to make it work.

Chanyeol follows the path he used to get here to return to Baekhyun, wary of where the night guards are so he won't run right into them. It's harder to hide now since the guards are changing shifts around midnight and there is quite a possibility that someone will see Chanyeol running around on the way to their specific building if Chanyeol is not careful enough, but Chanyeol has always been good in being subtle - even though his height could fool one - so he doesn't worry _that_ much. Or so Chanyeol thinks, but he finds exactly how afraid of being found out he was when he finally steps into his and Baekhyun's building, feeling incredible relief washing over him when he walks through the door and makes his way to Baekhyun's room.

"I'm back," Chanyeol says after opening the door to the room, quickly walking over to Baekhyun and kneeling down in front of the bed. For a second, Baekhyun doesn't react and Chanyeol begins to think that the boy is sleeping, but then Baekhyun slowly opens his eyes, glancing at Chanyeol from under his eye-lashes. "I'm sorry I took too long," Chanyeol apologizes and smiles at Baekhyun, brushing the boy's sweaty hair away from his forehead and getting rid of the towel, throwing it on the ground carelessly. He initially wanted to ask Baekhyun if he feels better, but one look at Baekhyun tells Chanyeol that the answer wouldn't be the one he'd want to hear, and so instead of asking pointless questions, Chanyeol says, "I need you to trust me right now, okay? Don't be afraid."

"...What?" Baekhyun whispers, his eyelids heavy. "I don't understand-"

"I'll explain later, we have to hurry now," Chanyeol cuts him off gently. "Trust me, angel. I'm doing what's best for you, but I don't have time to explain." With that said, Chanyeol takes the covers off Baekhyun and carefully heaves the boy from the bed, hating how Baekhyun starts whimpering in pain upon being moved. "I'm sorry," the soldier apologizes, knowing that this is unpleasant and painful for Baekhyun. However, there is no other way than to pick Baekhyun up and carry him, since it's impossible to run away with Baekhyun lying on his bed, and so, as much as it hurts Chanyeol to cause pain to Baekhyun, he pulls Baekhyun up to a sitting position, taking two of the blankets in his hands and covering Baekhyun with them before he picks Baekhyun up. He can't carry Baekhyun bridal style because of the wounds on his back, but he also can't carry Baekhyun on his back because Baekhyun doesn't have enough strength to hold onto Chanyeol, and so, being aware that it will hurt Baekhyun but having no other choice, Chanyeol carries him toddler-style like the times before, helping Baekhyun put his arms around his own neck and standing up after putting one arm under Baekhyun's thighs and wrapping the other arm securely around Baekhyun's lower-back.

"It hurts, Chanyeol," Baekhyun says with a trembling voice, and Chanyeol has to gulp down the guilt before taking the first, testing step forward. When Baekhyun doesn't fall, Chanyeol re-arranged the blankets he has thrown over Baekhyun, and just then, when everything seems alright - or at least the best it can be - Chanyeol makes his way out of the room, opening the main door that has closed on its own with his leg. "W-What are you doing?" Baekhyun asks when Chanyeol walks out of the building, his voice confused and scared, but not doubtful. It's clear that he trusts Chanyeol but is still afraid of the unknown.

"I'm getting you out of here," Chanyeol explains simply, looking around the camp from the distance. He sees one guard walking around the Fourth Building and waits until the man disappears from the sight before he speed-walks to the row of building on the other side, whispering apologies to Baekhyun's ear every time the boy lets out a pained sigh.

Before, when he was going back to get Baekhyun, Chanyeol was worried - as he later found out, it wasn't as stress-less as he thought - but now that Baekhyun is with him, Chanyeol is scared shitless. If someone sees them now, even catches a glimpse of them, they will be dead in one second, and while Chanyeol doesn't really care about his own life, he definitely cares about Baekhyun's. Baekhyun is the only reason that made him want to escape, and Chanyeol would never forgive himself if this didn't work out in the end - it would haunt him even after his death, guilt not letting him rest even in the afterlife if he died knowing that Baekhyun didn't get to a better place.

"Have you gone crazy?" Baekhyun questions, gasping. "Y-You can't-"

"I told you not to worry," Chanyeol talks over the boy, placing a short kiss on his neck before he runs to the next building and then to the next, looking all around cautiously. When he sees nobody in sight, he heaves a sigh of relief - they are halfway through the camp and nobody has noticed them so far, which is quite an accomplishment. Chanyeol hopes it will continue like this, without any problems, and after re-adjusting his hold on Baekhyun, he continues walking forward, his long legs moving quickly across the grass.

"You're doing something stupid," Baekhyun whispers, his hot breath matching his current body temperature. "Of course I'd be worried. I-"

"Shhh," Chanyeol shushes Baekhyun the second he hears approaching steps. "Don't say anything now," he adds shortly after, taking a few steps back and hiding against the wall of the building. Chanyeol feels Baekhyun's body tensing immediately, and despite his own heart beating like crazy because of the fear that washes over him, he still attempts to ease Baekhyun, rubbing calming circles into his lower back with his thumb. "It's okay," he whispers right into Baekhyun's ear while he himself forgets how to breathe for a second. _Fuck, this isn't good,_ Chanyeol thinks, biting his lip as he tries to think of what to do. He can't fight because he is holding Baekhyun, but if he doesn't fight, they will most likely die at this very place. _What the fuck should I do?_ asking himself, Chanyeol takes a shaky breath when the sound of footsteps get even more audible, meaning that the person is getting closer to them.

Chanyeol is ready to put Baekhyun down for a minute and fight, but then, "Hey, the fuck are you doing there?" an unfamiliar voice screams from distance, scaring the shit out of Chanyeol. However, the voice that replies to the question a second later scares Chanyeol much more, since the person talking must be right around the corner. "I thought I saw someone there," the person that is one second away from catching them answers. Chanyeol feels his blood run cold at the words, and he knows Baekhyun shares the emotion because the boy wraps his arms around Chanyeol's neck tighter, pressing their cheeks together and shutting his eyes tightly.

"Idiot, there's nobody there. I was looking around literally a minute ago."

"But I really-"

"Are you doubting me?" a beat of silence. "If not, then go back to your place. Stop uselessly walking around."

"...Fine." And then there are footsteps heard again, but they get more and more distant every second.

Chanyeol waits an extra minute to make sure that there's nobody here anymore, and when nothing but the sound of their own breathing is heard, the soldier slowly sticks his head out a little and looks around, exhaling in relief when he doesn't see anyone - or more like, doesn't see anyone who is close to them. The two men whom Chanyeol heard talking are quite a distance away from them now, and after Chanyeol makes sure that the air is clear, he quickly runs to the next building and continues walking in fast pace toward the entrance of the camp. His heart is still in the state of calming down, but Chanyeol doesn't think about it - or at least tries not to - and instead focuses on his surroundings and path ahead, knowing he can't give into the fear or he'll make a mistake.

"Why are you doing this?" Baekhyun asks quietly, keeping the volume of his voice as low as possible. "You're risking your life, Chanyeol." As if Chanyeol didn't know that.

"I'm doing this for you," Chanyeol answers with the same quiet voice. "Because you deserve better than this, angel."

"...Stupid," the boy mumbles eventually, but there's no spite in his tone, and Chanyeol's lips are tugged upwards in a smile when he feels Baekhyun hitting his shoulder lightly, the boy clearly touched but still angry at Chanyeol for doing something so dangerous. "You've really gone crazy." After that, Baekhyun doesn't say anything more, probably running out of energy, which doesn't really surprise Chanyeol, since the short conversations they have had since leaving their building a while ago were longer than all of their conversations today combined.

Chanyeol has known what he's doing when he decided to go along with this plan. He knew exactly what he was risking and what he could gain with this. However, it all becomes _really_ real, the weight of the realization crushing down on Chanyeol, only when Chanyeol gets through the whole camp and stops a few meters away from the entrance, hiding behind the last building in this row and waiting impatiently for Kyungsoo and Jongin to show up. It's not the _I should have thought about this better_ kind of realization though, but more of a _If this works out for real, I'll start a new life with Baekhyun_ kind, and instead of feeling only anxiety and fear, Chanyeol feels anticipation, joy even. Honestly, it's a mix of all possible emotions and Chanyeol is overwhelmed to say the least.

When a minute passes and Kyungsoo and Jongin are nowhere to be seen, Chanyeol starts to panic. For a second, he wonders if something happened to them but then quickly banishes the thought, not wanting to think about such a possibility because if something really were to happen to the two, Chanyeol and Baekhyun would be screwed to put it lightly, since not only there would be no way to get Baekhyun out of here without Kyungsoo, but Chanyeol would be also considered a traitor and would be taken away for interrogation with no chance of seeing Baekhyun ever again - which is definitely one of the worst case scenarios that Chanyeol was trying so hard to ignore, pushing it to the back of his head with all of the other possible bad outcomes. But, honestly, how can Chanyeol stop himself from thinking negatively? After all, every passing second that he spends waiting is one second too many in this situation, and every intake of breath could be his last one.

Luckily enough though, Kyungsoo and Jongin finally show up, Chanyeol hearing them coming before he sees them.

According to the plan, the couple is supposed to play drunk and get close to the guards that stand by the entrance, and when they are close enough, they are supposed to kill all four of the soldiers there. Then, when there is nobody to guard the said entrance, they will all run as fast as possible, and by Kyungsoo's words, there is to be a car waiting for them not so far away from there, parked right at the end of the small forest that is all around the camp - when Chanyeol asked about the car and how it will get there, all Kyungsoo said was that he had never been the only spy around here and that things are taken care of; all they need to do is get to the car. "And if we don't?" Chanyeol asked. "Then we die," was the simple answer, Kyungsoo laying the cold truth out there, not sugar coating anything.

Chanyeol was a little doubtful about the plan at first - or quite a lot doubtful - but, to his surprise and joy, so far it's working.

Kyungsoo and Jongin are walking toward the gate hand in hand, the two glued together and giggling 'drunkenly', successfully catching the attention of all four guards who at first only stare at the couple in shock before they start whispering to each other, clearly confused. "The fuck are you doing?" one of the soldiers asks, taking a step forward and narrowing his eyes at the two cooks. He asks the question loud enough for Chanyeol to hear, but when Jongin gives the guard the answer, Chanyeol doesn't catch it from this distance, because not only Jongin talks quieter than the guard but his friend is also slurring the words, making it impossible for Chanyeol to understand. And so, not being able to hear the conversation, Chanyeol only watches the exchange, tightening his grip on Baekhyun.

"Chanyeol.." Baekhyun whispers in Chanyeol's ear upon realizing that it's about to go down now.

"Mhmm?" Chanyeol mumbles in response, re-adjusting his hold on the boy once again, getting more anxious. _It's really happening,_ he thinks, biting his lip as he stares ahead, focusing on Kyungsoo and Jongin, knowing that he will need to start running the very moment the two men kill the guards and clear the entrance.

"I- uh," Baekhyun starts but stops himself, and Chanyeol can feel how the boy gulps, shifting the tiniest bit as he too tightens his arms around Chanyeol's neck, holding on with all his strength. "...I love you, Chanyeol," Baekhyun confesses, tone quiet but full of affection, raw emotion making his soft voice even more beautiful than it already is. "If something goes wrong, I want you to know that," the boy continues, not even realizing that Chanyeol has gone completely still because of the shock after hearing Baekhyun's words. "Remember that, okay?"

Chanyeol's eyes widen and his mouth fall open, the soldier not knowing what to say. This... This is the first time that Baekhyun told him that he loves him, saying the words Chanyeol has been longing to say for such a long time, and Chanyeol is too surprised to react immediately. He gapes like a fish without water instead while his brain processes the sudden confession, wondering if this is reality and not only his imagination, but when Baekhyun pulls away a little in order to kiss Chanyeol's temple and then returns to his previous position, Chanyeol knows that this must be reality, because no dream can make Baekhyun's lips feel so good on his skin. Only the real Baekhyun has such soft lips.

"B-Baekhyun I-" but Chanyeol doesn't get to finish because suddenly there is a scream, and it's only then that Chanyeol comes back to reality, realizing that now is not the time to talk. Now is the time to run.

And so, Chanyeol does. He holds Baekhyun tightly and starts running for his life, not looking back once, being aware that it might be the last look around he ever takes if he does that - he doesn't even glance at the soldiers lying on the ground by the entrance, sparing himself the guilt he would feel if he found out that he had actually been on good terms with the people Kyungsoo and Jongin have just killed. After all, another dose of guilt isn't exactly what Chanyeol is in a need of, especially not now when he has to be completely focused on running as fast as he can, making sure to use his long legs well because if he tripped over something and fell, it could be fatal.

Chanyeol is close to the forest, very close. Just a few more steps and he'll be in, and then all they have to do is run through to get to the clearing on the other side, getting in the car and driving off. So far it looks good; they have gotten through the entrance of the camp alive and now they are running away, on a way to a new life - hopefully a better life. It's the middle of the night and the forest might be dark, but they can do it. They can get to that stupid car and escape because that's the only choice they have left, no turning back at this point. After four of the soldiers were killed, nobody would be merciful with them here, so they _have_ to make it, otherwise something much worse than death awaits them if they get caught.

 _We can do it,_ Chanyeol thinks with determination. _We are close. We are so close. We can-_

The sound of gunshots pierces the air, echoing in the quiet night, and it's only a millisecond later that a heart-wrenching scream follows, the loud " _No!_ " making Chanyeol stop dead in his tracks, the man turning around immediately even though he has sworn Kyungsoo that he will not look back and nor will he stop running no matter what.

What he sees makes his heart fall into his stomach, and if he wasn't holding Baekhyun, Chanyeol's legs would have definitely given out by now upon seeing his best friend, his only friend, falling down and hitting the ground. Chanyeol refuses to believe his own eyes though, because this simply can't be happening. No, it definitely can't be. This is just a joke. Or just Chanyeol's tired mind making up things. It has to be. It has to be, because Chanyeol will not accept a reality without Jongin being a part of it.

But Jongin doesn't stand up from the ground even when Chanyeol continues to stare at him, the soldier's eyes that are glued to the unmoving body on the grass having no effect on the condition of his best friend. No matter how intensely and no matter how long Chanyeol keeps looking at Jongin, his friend just isn't getting up, not giving away any hint of being alive. He just... lies there, with a screaming Kyungsoo by his side, the short man falling to his knees and shaking with Jongin's lifeless body as if it was supposed to help.

It doesn't help.

Chanyeol can't move. He can't hear anything either, and his vision is focused only on Jongin, everything else blurred out. It feels like the time has stopped when the realization that his best friend is dead sinks in, and the pain that follows seizes his whole body, making Chanyeol think for a second that he was the one who was shot instead of Jongin. However, when the pain subdues, Chanyeol begins feeling empty, as if his heart was tore out of his chest and thrown away, leaving nothing but a gaping hole there.

 _Why?_ Chanyeol asks in his mind, not having enough strength to say even this single word out loud. _Why?! Why Jongin, why-_

The gunshots that follow don't startle Chanyeol - they don't even make him flinch. However, it's the loud, high-pitched scream that brings him out of his trance, Chanyeol coming back to reality only when Baekhyun yells in pain and almost falls down from his arms.

"-un! Don't stop, run!" Chanyeol then catches faintly in the distance, but he isn't really listening, the sound of Baekhyun's crying resonating in his ears and taking over his attention. "Chanyeol!" his name is now called out louder, but Chanyeol still doesn't move, his body simply not cooperating yet. "Fucking _run_!" Then someone is turning him around and pushing him, giving Chanyeol a real wake up call, and when the soldier is pulled into the forest, his steps accompanied by more screaming and gunshots in the background, Chanyeol realizes that the person who is tugging him along is Kyungsoo, who have left Jongin's side without Chanyeol even noticing it.

Everything happens quickly afterwards, Chanyeol in too much shock to even process it fully. One second they are running through the forest, Kyungsoo telling him not to stop and keep on running, and the next second they are already at the clearing on the other side of the forest, Chanyeol moving without knowing where he's really going as Kyungsoo guides him. "Don't stop!" the short man yells, looking back every two seconds to make sure Chanyeol is behind him as they run. "Keep running, no matter what!" When they get to a medium-sized truck that's parked in the middle of the clearing, Kyungsoo pushes him to the back of it and quickly secures the wooden door before getting to the driver's seat and starting the car, flooring the pedal as he drives away.

The first few meters are horrible - to say the least - but when they finally get to an actual road, it's better. Of course, it's still shaking with Chanyeol because of the road being bump-y, and sometimes he is even thrown to the side as Kyungsoo takes a turn, but it's definitely not as bad as it was at the beginning. Or more like, it's not that bad for Chanyeol who doesn't have a single scratch on him, but Baekhyun who has been injured since yesterday and who has also fallen sick certainly doesn't share the sentiment, which is clear by the way the boy struggles to breathe, his hot tears wetting Chanyeol's cheek and shirt as Baekhyun cries silently with his head on the soldier's shoulder. "You're going to be fine, Baekhyun. Just a little longer," Chanyeol tries to soothe the boy, but he isn't all that sure that his poor attempt will work. After all, how can Chanyeol help Baekhyun when he himself is so shaken, the soldier not being able to keep the memory of seeing Jongin's lifeless body falling to the ground out of his mind, the image of his best friend lying unmoving on the grass flashing before his eyes.

It hurts. It hurts so much that Chanyeol can't breathe when he thinks about it, and that's why he tries so, so hard to avoid it, knowing that now isn't the time to mourn - he has to take care of Baekhyun, doing the best he can to distract the boy from the pain he's in, and Chanyeol certainly can't do that if his thoughts lie elsewhere. However, trying not to think about Jongin is a task too difficult, and Chanyeol feels tears forming in his eyes after a while when the shock starts wearing off and is replaced by sadness that seizes Chanyeol's heart upon the realization that he will never see Jongin ever again.

His only friend is gone forever.

"C-Chanyeol," Baekhyun stutters out. "I-I don't feel well."

"I know, angel," Chanyeol says in response. He hates that Baekhyun is in pain, and he also hates that he can do nothing about it. "But it'll be better, I swear. You'll be taken care of when-" Chanyeol stops abruptly when he feels warm liquid on his fingers after running a hand up and down Baekhyun's side in a soothing manner. "What...?" he whispers in confusion, pulling away a little and looking down at his right hand, his eyes widening at the sight of his fingers being covered in red, the blood glistening in the moonlight. "No," the soldier whispers, craning his neck and trying to find the source of blood. At first, Chanyeol thinks that one of the wounds on Baekhyun's back has re-opened and the blood simply seeped through the blankets that are thrown over the boy hastily, but Chanyeol only sees small dots of red there. It looks painful, but definitely not serious enough to explain all of the blood on Chanyeol's fingers.

However, then Chanyeol looks lower and sees a huge, dark stain on the white blankets, his whole body freezing completely at the sight. "No," the soldiers whispers as his hands begin to tremble. "No, no, _no_ ," he repeats then, panic finding its way to Chanyeol's heart. _How could I not notice?_ Chanyeol wonders, cursing himself for forgetting to check on Baekhyun's condition. Yes, he heard Baekhyun's yelp back there, but he thought that- now that he thinks about it, Chanyeol doesn't even know what he thought. He doesn't remember at all, but it doesn't really matter, because it's not important. What _is_ important though is that Baekhyun has been losing blood all this time and god knows how much more of it is okay for him to lose before it will be fatal. "Shit, this can't be happening," Chanyeol mumbles, taking a shaky breath.

What can he do, for real? He can't lay Baekhyun on his back because Baekhyun it would hurt the boy too much; he can't let go of him either, because Baekhyun is not strong enough to hold himself up in this condition - especially not when Kyungsoo is driving at this speed on the winding lane; and he also can't just ignore it if he doesn't want to risk Baekhyun dying on him. Then... what? There is not a single option that doesn't have a huge flaw that can be simply overlooked, and Chanyeol is running out of time.

Which reminds him; the last thing that Baekhyun has said was that he didn't feel well, but that could have been minutes ago already - since Chanyeol doesn't know for how long he had had his inner freak-out, he can't tell if Baekhyun has been bleeding for ten seconds or ten minutes now, and it makes him scared even more. "Baekhyun, talk to me," Chanyeol tells the boy after looking back up at Baekhyun's face, wanting to make sure that Baekhyun is still conscious even though his eyes are closed. However, when Baekhyun doesn't respond, Chanyeol's heart skips a beat, but not in that nice, pleasant way it sometimes does when Baekhyun kisses him - now his heart skips a beat in fear. Very, very intense fear. "Baekhyun...?" he calls out the boy's name once more, but again, there is no reply. "Please, angel, say something. _Please._ " Nothing. "No, no, don't- don't do this to me. You scared the shit out of me this morning and you're doing it again now, I- Baekhyun, _come_ _on,_ " Chanyeol doesn't know what else to say because his mind gets flooded with all those horrible thoughts again, making him unable to use his brain to create coherent sentences, and so Chanyeol just begs, cupping Baekhyun's cheek with one hand and using the other to messily fold some part of the blanket that is on top, putting the folded bit over the wound afterwards and applying pressure. Chanyeol is unable to see the injury from this angle and with the moon as the only source of light, but his limited medical knowledge is telling him that right now the only thing that matters is stopping the bleeding, and that's what Chanyeol attempts to do. "Baekhyun, give me a sign. Give me _anything_."

And finally, Baekhyun listens to his pleas.

The boy says nothing, but his lips move and his eyelids flutter the tiniest bit, and while it's not much, it still manages to calm Chanyeol down a lot, since the soldier was already thinking of the worst and seeing that Baekhyun is still alive is a huge relief. "You have to hold on, okay?" he says, now knowing that while Baekhyun doesn't have enough energy to talk, he can still hear Chanyeol. For now. "Just a little bit longer. Then someone will take care of you for real, I promise. But you have to pull through, angel. Just one more time," whispering, Chanyeol tries not to cry, but it's difficult not to break down when he becomes painfully aware of the fact that not only he has lost Jongin tonight, but that he can also lose Baekhyun soon.

If Baekhyun dies too, Chanyeol will have no reason to continue living. None at all. What's the point of a new life if he doesn't have Baekhyun to share it with? Chanyeol doesn't want a new life if Baekhyun is not a part of it, and especially not in a country that will surely never accept him - after all, the saying goes; _once a traitor, forever a traitor._

"I need you, Baekhyun," Chanyeol starts, and despite his voice breaking on the last syllable of Baekhyun's name, Chanyeol doesn't give up. He needs to let Baekhyun know about the secrets he has been hiding in his heart, needs to tell him everything there is to tell, because if this is their last moment, Chanyeol can't hide anything from the boy, otherwise the regrets of never saying some things out loud would eat him alive. "I-I love you too," Chanyeol finally gets to say it back, but since he isn't sure if Baekhyun heard him with the engine making so much background noise, he repeats it. "I'm so in love you, Baekhyun. I've been for quite some time now, and I-I can't imagine losing you. I can't imagine a life without you." As Chanyeol speaks, he feels a lump being created in his throat, but he gulps it down before it can stop him in his confession. He takes a sharp exhale in order to get himself together at least a little, and with tears streaming down his face, the soldier continues, "I love you so much, and I love you even more for all the things you hate about yourself." And Chanyeol knows there is a lot the things Baekhyun loathes about himself. "I never once thought of you as dirty or disgusting, I want you to know that. For me, you have always been everything good, and if you just gave me more time, I'd prove it to you. I'm going to make you see how much I love you, and how much you mean to me, so stay with me, okay?" Chanyeol doesn't know why he puts it as a question when he knows that no answer can be expected. "Don't leave me. _Please_ don't."

Chanyeol chances a glance at the wound on the side of Baekhyun's stomach, and he almost faints upon seeing the amount of blood there. Objectively, it isn't _that_ bad, but subjectively from Chanyeol's point of view, it is way more blood than he would like to see - Baekhyun was in a horrible condition to begin with, so even if there isn't a shitton of blood, it's still too dangerous and it's scaring Chanyeol way too much. Kyungsoo told him that it will take approximately forty or so minutes to get to wherever the hell they need to, but Chanyeol isn't sure if they have that much time left. "I can't live without you- I don't _want_ to live without you, Baekhyun, so don't give up just yet," Chanyeol says, sniffling as he looks back at Baekhyun's face only to be taken aback upon seeing that Baekhyun has opened his eyes again. It's just barely, but they are still opened, and that's what counts. "Yes, you are amazing. Keep it up, love," the soldier praises, his eyes producing even more tears as he attempts for a smile, not wanting Baekhyun to see the expression full of misery Chanyeol was having on his face until now. "You can't give up now. You are stronger than that, Baekhyun, I know it. You are the strongest person I've ever met."

Baekhyun returns the smile - Chanyeol sees it, even though the corners of Baekhyun's lips are tugged upwards just barely, almost invisibly. It's only a parody of Baekhyun's real, bright smile, but in this situation it's more than Chanyeol could hope for. "You are the prettiest when you smile," Chanyeol says, caressing Baekhyun's cheek. "When you get better, make sure to smile at me a lot. I'm even giving you permission to laugh at my accent if you promise me you'll hold on now," he attempts to go for a joke, but he is very serious about what he has just said - Baekhyun has always enjoyed pointing out _mistakes_ in Chanyeol's accent before he would laugh at them and try to mimic the way the soldier pronounced words, so he is sure Baekhyun wouldn't pass on such an offer... or so Chanyeol hopes.

  
  


From that moment on, Baekhyun keeps his eyes open, but there are times Baekhyun's eyelids fall and stay down for a second too long which always manages to scare the shit out of Chanyeol. It's horrible for the young soldier's heart, but he still thinks it's better now than it was a few minutes ago, Chanyeol preferring being shocked to death once in every four minutes when Baekhyun lets his eyes rest to being completely unaware of Baekhyun's condition - like he was before when the only sign of Baekhyun being still alive was the boy's shallow breathing. Of course, it's stressing and many times Chanyeol even thinks that _this is it_ , but Baekhyun is a fighter and always opens those beautiful eyes again, breathing a new dose of hope into Chanyeol. And so, Chanyeol decides that he'll do the same; just like Baekhyun is giving strength to Chanyeol, Chanyeol will give strength to Baekhyun.

What Baekhyun needs the most right now - aside from medical help, obviously - is definitely a distraction, which Chanyeol very willingly provides. In order to make Baekhyun think of other, more positive thoughts and help him deal with the pain he's in, Chanyeol decides distract the boy with talking. It might seem stupid, but it was Baekhyun himself who told Chanyeol that the soldier is good with words, and so Chanyeol deems this as a good-enough way to help at least a little if he can't do anything else for Baekhyun. Perhaps his confessions will truly do something, and there's nothing to lose anyway, which is why he tells Baekhyun everything that is on his mind.

He reveals how much he loves when Baekhyun kisses him or hugs him; he says many things about how meaningful the lovemaking with Baekhyun was for him; he praises every detail about Baekhyun's appearance and personality to get rid of Baekhyun's toxic doubts; he admits how much he wants to hear Baekhyun sing once because it has been on his mind since Baekhyun mentioned it, and so on. But most importantly, Chanyeol tells Baekhyun about how he needs the boy in his life and that there is no life worth living if Baekhyun is not by his side.

Kyungsoo might have said that it will take around forty minutes to get to the place of meeting - and of course Chanyeol believes him, since Kyungsoo must know the best - but while forty minutes didn't seem like much before, it definitely seems like a terrifyingly big amount of time now as Baekhyun tries to keep himself from passing out - or worse, from dying - and all Chanyeol can do is watch Baekhyun struggle during the endless ride. He feels completely powerless yet again, because even though his words are able to distract the boy from the pain at least a little, it's all they can do; they are not enough to heal Baekhyun's wounds and nor are they enough to help with the fever that's weakening Baekhyun's body even more. _With all of the injuries and fever on top of that, will Baekhyun be able to last?_ Chanyeol wonders as he tries to count the remaining minutes, hoping that Baekhyun can hold on a bit more.

"You're going to be fine," Chanyeol says, but he doesn't really know if he's assuring Baekhyun or himself, desperately wanting to believe that Baekhyun will be alright because it would kill him to lose both his best friend and his lover on the same day. "Everything's gonna be fine," the soldier whispers as he lets his head fall on Baekhyun's shoulder, holding the boy close. He desperately needs to feel Baekhyun's heartbeat against his own right now or he'll lose his sanity. "We're going to make it together," that said, Chanyeol takes a deep inhale with his nose, breathing in Baekhyun's scent and folding the blanket once more before pressing the clean folded bit on Baekhyun's wound that has not yet stopped bleeding.

  
  


Maybe it was Baekhyun's sweet scent that has numbed his senses for a while, or maybe he got too caught up in his thoughts, but Chanyeol realizes that they are finally at the place they were supposed to be only when the car stops, Kyungsoo turning off the engine and raising his voice as he announces Chanyeol that they have arrived. Upon hearing the driver's door opening and shutting close, Chanyeol opens his eyes and raises his head up from Baekhyun's shoulder, his eyes scanning the surroundings after he pulls away from the boy a little.

The first thing he sees are multiple rifles aimed at him and Baekhyun, and it truly isn't a good sight.

Immediately, Chanyeol starts panicking, his eyes jumping from one armed soldier to another, his arms wrapping protectively around Baekhyun as he searches for Kyungsoo. He could frown at all of the soldiers, attempting to scare them off with a glare, but it wouldn't help him at all because Chanyeol wouldn't be able to protect Baekhyun from the shots with just his glare if it came down to it, which is why he calls out Kyungsoo's name with a strained voice, hoping that Kyungsoo would show up and help, since Chanyeol is far from enjoying being the target of all the weapons.

After a few seconds, Chanyeol hears Kyungsoo before he sees him coming. "I need a doctor," Kyungsoo says to no one in particular, and right away, some of the soldiers start calling for doctors and medics, listening to Kyungsoo's request. "And stop aiming at them; they are not dangerous," he orders shortly after, and again, the soldiers listen, even though more reluctantly now. They do step away upon Kyungsoo telling them to do so, but the doubtful looks are still present, making Chanyeol feel uncomfortable, and so instead of staring back at the multiple men standing around the car, Chanyeol looks back at Baekhyun.

"We've made it, angel," Chanyeol whispers, caressing Baekhyun's cheek and waiting until the boy opens his eyes. "We're here," Chanyeol adds. He doesn't know at all how did they get here, how was it possible to drive through the fronts on the battlefield and get to this place that looks very much like a camp, but it doesn't matter. Chanyeol doesn't care now; he only cares about the fact that they are here, wherever the hell _here_ is, because Baekhyun can finally get the help he so desperately needs. The only problem is that unlike other times, Baekhyun doesn't open his eyes, his face still and not giving away any hint of Baekhyun being still alive. "Baekhyun...?" Chanyeol calls out, his heartbeat getting faster as a wave of fear washes over him. "Baek-"

"Chanyeol, the medic team is here," Kyungsoo tells him but Chanyeol only shakes his head, continuing to talk to Baekhyun who is not responding in any way. _No, please no,_ Chanyeol thinks, gulping down the lump in his throat as he begs Baekhyun to give him a sign that he's still here, that he hasn't left Chanyeol. "They'll help him," Kyungsoo speaks up again, trying to catch Chanyeol's attention. "But you need to give them a chance to do that, okay?"

"He just passed out for a while, right?" Chanyeol asks instead, not averting his eyes from Baekhyun's face and brushing away the sweaty locks of hair from Baekhyun's forehead. As he does so, he notices that his hand is trembling.

"Yes, he's going to be fine," Kyungsoo assures the soldier, but Chanyeol notices the doubt in Kyungsoo's voice despite Kyungsoo trying hard to mask it. "But they have to help him first," the short man tells him, and Chanyeol hears the wooden door being unlocked behind him. "They _will_ help him, I swear."

Chanyeol doesn't like the idea of letting Baekhyun be taken from his arms - or taken away from him in general - but he understands that Baekhyun needs the medical attention which Chanyeol can't provide himself, and so the soldier listens in the end, standing up with Baekhyun in his hold and stepping down from the back of the truck slowly, ignoring the looks of the medic unit and every other person around as he puts Baekhyun on the stretcher and takes a step back after making sure that Baekhyun is covered by the blankets and his bare body is not visible. Chanyeol's vision is blurred by the tears that are in his eyes yet again, but despite the unclear vision, his eyes catch the huge blood stain on Baekhyun's side that is accompanying the now-bigger red stains on Baekhyun's back from the opened whip wounds, and his heart clenches painfully at the sight. In the dark of the night he wasn't able to see how great the damage was, but now, with all the artificial light that the camp provides, Chanyeol can see it clearly, and he isn't taking it well.

"Wait," one of the medics says, and Chanyeol glances at him right away. His gaze falls on a boy with huge eyes and a youthful face, and Chanyeol wonders if Baekhyun and this guy could be in the same age. "Isn't that-" the medic hesitates, but then his huge eyes widen and he finishes his thought, "Isn't that Baekhyun?"

"Who?" another one asks, frowning in confusion.

"Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun," the huge-eyed boy says, tone shocked as he recognizes Baekhyun. Chanyeol only stares at him with wide eyes, not knowing why is he so surprised that one of Baekhyun's own people has recognized the boy. "H-He was on the camp near Pohang two months ago."

"But didn't they kill everyone there?" this time it's one of the soldiers that are standing all around them that asks. "I've heard nobody has survived."

"But I'm sure this is Baekhyun!" the same medic that has recognized Baekhyun insists. "I know him," he claims. "I-I thought he died, but this is definitely him. He-"

"He needs treatment," Kyungsoo interrupts, his voice strict. It's so different from the voice Kyungsoo had always used back in North when he was in the Hyesan camp, and it's even more different from the soft voice he had used when he was talking to Jongin. "Take care of him." The whole medic unit quickly disappears after the scolding, their pace fast but steps careful as they go away, and all Chanyeol can do is follow them with his eyes as he stands alone, circled by men who start whispering among themselves and then start staring at Chanyeol with all kinds of looks. "Let's go, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo says as he comes to stand in front of Chanyeol, tugging at the taller one's shirt but avoiding Chanyeol's gaze like a plague.

"Where?" Chanyeol asks quietly, but lets himself be led away from the judging eyes. He never gets a verbal answer, but he doesn't need one, since it only takes a few minutes to find out for himself where they are going.

Firstly, they go to the general of the camp, where Kyungsoo talks the whole time and Chanyeol just stands one step behind, not even listening - not because he doesn't want to, but because he simply can't, his mind full of Jongin who is no longer with him and Baekhyun who might soon not be here with him either. He wonders how can Kyungsoo behave like everything's fine, like his lover didn't die during the escape, the short man reporting his mission without stuttering even once while Chanyeol is unable to give a normal, coherent answer the only time he is asked a question by the general.

It takes some more talking and some more questions Kyungsoo answers instead of Chanyeol before Chanyeol is accepted by the general and both him and Kyungsoo are dismissed for today, given some left-overs from dinner from one of the cooks. However, nor him or Kyungsoo touch the food, both of them only sitting side by side in silence in front of the medical tent, waiting for the information regarding Baekhyun's condition - or maybe, Kyungsoo doesn't care about Baekhyun at all but would feel guilty about leaving Chanyeol alone in this condition and in a place that the soldier isn't familiar with.

Whatever the reason is though, Kyungsoo stays with him, providing company in this dark night, even surprising Chanyeol when he finally decides to speak. "It's your birthday today, right...?" Kyungsoo asks, but his tone indicates that he already knows the answers. Still, Chanyeol nods. "Jongin told me," the short man smiles sadly, and it's the first time since they have gotten here that Chanyeol sees a crack in Kyungsoo's seemingly unbothered mask. "He really wanted to celebrate with you."

And that's all it takes for Chanyeol to start crying, all of his emotions catching up to him now that there is finally time to mourn. "I know he did," Chanyeol says, his voice muffled by his hands with which he has covered his face. Jongin wasn't able to celebrate Chanyeol's birthday with the man last year so he promised to make it up to Chanyeol this year, but that will never happen now.

"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo apologizes, and at first Chanyeol thinks that Kyungsoo is just sorry for Chanyeol's loss of best friend, but then when Kyungsoo mumbles something about Jongin's death being his fault, Chanyeol can't help but uncover his face, his hands falling to his lap as he looks at Kyungsoo in confusion. He doesn't even have to ask what Kyungsoo means before Kyungsoo starts explaining what exactly happened. "I thought everything is going fine," Chanyeol hears Kyungsoo say in a quiet voice, and the soldier chuckles humorlessly, remembering how he himself thought the same thing. "But then suddenly Jongin pushed me and I fell down, a-and I was so confused because, why would he do it?" Kyungsoo continues, and Chanyeol's eyes fall on the man's trembling hands for a second before he looks back at Kyungsoo's face, seeing how Kyungsoo is furiously biting at his plump lips, drawing blood. "For a second I thought that he was trying to get me caught and that the whole time he was just pretending-"

"He would never," Chanyeol cuts Kyungsoo off, certainty lacing his voice. Jongin was too in love with Kyungsoo to ever backstab the man.

"I know, of course I know," Kyungsoo says, his voice beginning to tremble just like his hands. "He didn't push me to get me caught; he pushed me to save me." Then, Kyungsoo's voice breaks and the man sobs, his fingers gripping the fabric of his pants tightly as the first tear falls out of his eyes and slides down his cheek. "H-He took the bullet for me, that's why he died." Kyungsoo sniffles loudly, clenching his jaw. "It's my fault. I killed him." Chanyeol lets it all sink in, his brain processing Kyungsoo's words as Chanyeol only stares at crying Kyungsoo with wide eyes, shocked to hear this information. "I'm sorry, Chanyeol. You best friend died because of me," Kyungsoo apologizes once more, not daring to look at Chanyeol as if he was afraid to see hatred in Chanyeol's eyes. "I'm really sorry, and I know that it's not enough, but please know that I would do anything to bring him back. I-"

"It's not your fault," Chanyeol interrupts Kyungsoo, shaking his head. He wants to say more, make Kyungsoo understand that he definitely didn't kill Jongin, but Kyungsoo is faster than him.

"But it _is_ ," Kyungsoo insists, taking a shaky breath before he continues. "If he didn't push me away and took my place, he wouldn't die and-"

"If he let you get killed, none of us would be alive by now," Chanyeol cuts him off again. As painful as it is to admit it, Jongin has saved them all, and if he didn't sacrifice himself back there then they would have never gotten this far - hell, they wouldn't get anywhere at all if Kyungsoo died. Jongin has always been smart, and Chanyeol is sure that he knew too that without Kyungsoo no escape would be happening, which is why he took the bullet for the man. It wasn't only out of love to Kyungsoo, it was also out of love to Chanyeol. "If you are blaming yourself for his death, you can blame me and Baekhyun too."

"It's different." Shaking his head, Kyungsoo looks up at the starry sky, his doe-eyes glistening with tears in the moonlight. "You had to take care of Baekhyun, but it was my task to look after Jongin, and I failed," he whispers brokenly, his chin quivering, and Chanyeol can't help but feel sorry for the man - Kyungsoo behaved composed the whole time in order to give a report and get the general's approval so Chanyeol can stay here while all of these thoughts were eating him up from inside, his heart hurting as he blamed himself for his lover's death. "I should have been more careful. Jongin was my responsibility but I wasn't paying enough attention."

"No matter what you think, it's not your fault," Chanyeol tells him seriously, but Kyungsoo only chuckles and looks back down at the ground, reminding Chanyeol of Chanyeol himself; He too never believed Baekhyun when Baekhyun said that him being hurt isn't Chanyeol's fault. "Jongin d-" it's too soon for Chanyeol to say the word _dying_ and _Jongin_ in the same sentence, and so Chanyeol decides for a different phrasing, "Jongin saving you was his choice, and he did it because he knew that we would all die if you got the shot."

"There would have been no shot fired if I was more careful, which-"

"You won't change it now," Chanyeol says. "It's already done, and Jongin isn't coming back." His words are harsh, but reality isn't any different. Jongin is gone forever, and nor Kyungsoo or Chanyeol will ever be able to see the man smile, and will never be able to talk to him either. Chanyeol has lost his only real friend, Kyungsoo has lost his lover, and both will now have to continue living in this world without the person they have treasured so much. "Don't blame yourself for this. Jongin wouldn't like it."

"How can I not?" Kyungsoo asks, laughing, and the sound breaks Chanyeol's heart. It's the same kind of laugh that Chanyeol was hiding every time Baekhyun was hurt beyond belief and still used his last bits of strength to tell Chanyeol the exact same words Chanyeol is trying to get through Kyungsoo's thick skull. _It's not your fault._ "As you said, Jongin isn't coming back, but he would be still here with us if I didn't screw up."

"Do you want to blame yourself till the end of your life, then?" Chanyeol asks. To be honest, if Kyungsoo said yes, Chanyeol would understand, because he himself will always have on mind how he let Heojoon and Woohyun do all of those horrible things to Baekhyun, and it doesn't matter how many times Baekhyun told him there was nothing Chanyeol do anyway.

However, instead of a simple yes, Kyungsoo says, "I don't want to live at all." It shocks Chanyeol, but not too much, since Chanyeol would be saying the same if Baekhyun died. He too can't imagine a life without the person he loves so much, which is why he prays that Baekhyun will survive this and won't leave Chanyeol completely alone. After all, Chanyeol has promised Baekhyun a better life, and he wants to fulfill that promise. "You know, the reason I agreed to go on this mission was because I had nobody here, had nothing to lose. If I died, nobody would really care," Kyungsoo reveals, gulping the lump in his throat as he wipes off the tears that wet his cheeks. "Without Jongin, I have no one. I'm alone, just like I was before... Maybe I should have just refused him, and he wouldn't have to die."

Chanyeol would say _I'll be here for you_ , but he knows that it's a bad thing to say to a man who has lost his lover. Kyungsoo doesn't need him; he needs Jongin. And so, instead of saying that he'll be there for Kyungsoo, Chanyeol decides to leave that topic. "Jongin loved you a lot," he tells Kyungsoo. "He talked about you the very first day you arrived - he was smitten by you completely even then." Chanyeol still remembers how Jongin talked about Kyungsoo as they stared at the sky together, his best friend and him finally having time to have a conversation. It was one of the memories Chanyeol will treasure forever now that Jongin is gone. "You were his first love, just like Baekhyun is mine, and we were both very afraid to act upon our feelings," Chanyeol says, wondering if Jongin has ever confessed this to Kyungsoo. "He was very happy when you got together, and I'm sure he had never regretted getting involved with you, just like he definitely didn't regret taking the shot for you. In fact, I'm certain that he would do nothing differently even if he had known that it was going to end like this." Jongin was a shy man, but Chanyeol knows that it would never stop him from chasing Kyungsoo even if Kyungsoo refused him in the beginning. After all, Jongin was a huge believer of fate, and if he thought that Kyungsoo was his fated one, nothing would stop him from acting upon this conviction. "What I'm trying to say is," Chanyeol finally gets to the point. "He definitely didn't hesitate for a second before taking the bullet for you, and he surely wouldn't want you to blame yourself for this. He _loved_ you."

Kyungsoo is silent, only staring at the ground as tears roll down his face and fall on his hands that have finally stopped trembling. What Chanyeol also notices is that Kyungsoo is not biting his lip anymore, for which Chanyeol is glad because there are already enough bite marks that must surely hurt. _Jongin wouldn't be glad to see that_ , Chanyeol thinks, remembering how Jongin mentioned how much he loves Kyungsoo's plump lips once or twice. "I love him too," Kyungsoo finally speaks up after a few minutes, a sad smile on his lips, but it's different from before. Now, Kyungsoo looks just the tiniest bit more in peace, which also shows on the man's expression. "And I really, really want him back."

"I know," Chanyeol says, shifting closer to Kyungsoo until their shoulders touching. "I do, too."

And then, they both cry together, one mourning the death of his best friend and the other mourning the death of his lover now that there's finally time. Somehow, it's better to cry with a company, Chanyeol finds out later as Kyungsoo's head falls on his shoulder, the shorter man sobbing quietly into Chanyeol's shirt, his body shaking slightly. Chanyeol doesn't think for a second before he throws an arm around Kyungsoo's shoulders then, knowing that Jongin would want Chanyeol to console Kyungsoo, and in the midst of all the crying, blaming and regretting, the two find themselves sharing stories in the dark night, smiling at some precious memories of Jongin.

Chanyeol feels lighter afterwards, and Kyungsoo seems to be a little bit better too, but despite the subtle smiles on their tears-streaked faces, there's a still a huge hole in their chests that will never be filled again, half of Chanyeol's heart missing while Kyungsoo's whole heart is long gone.

  
  


The medics interrupt their mourning around what might be two in the morning, telling Kyungsoo all of the information about Baekhyun's condition while wholeheartedly ignoring Chanyeol's presence. It feels uncomfortable to be completely overlooked, having his questions regarding Baekhyun's condition unanswered until Kyungsoo asks the questions himself, but Chanyeol doesn't care _that_ much, because as long as he gets the information about Baekhyun in whatever way, he couldn't care less about being ignored. 

When Chanyeol says that he wants to see Baekhyun after the medics are done talking, his request is denied right away. He protests, insisting that he needs to be with the boy, but the answer is still the same, and it's not until Kyungsoo tells them that it's okay that Chanyeol is let through and into the tent, his steps accompanied by nasty glares as he walks past the men. "I'm sorry they are like that," Kyungsoo tells him when they walk in, leaving the medics behind them. 

"It's fine," Chanyeol says, and it's half true and half false - for one, Chanyeol understands that they don't trust him, that they maybe even think Chanyeol was the one who hurt Baekhyun like this, but on the other hand it hurts to be so intensely remained that he is not welcome here. 

"It'll get better," Kyungsoo tries to lift his spirits, but Chanyeol has a hard time believing it.

When he walks up to Baekhyun who is lying on the bed unmovingly, it becomes hard to breathe upon the sight of Baekhyun's face, the boy's skin so pale that the bruise on his cheek stands out way more than before. Chanyeol wants to see how Baekhyun's other injuries were handled, but he can't see the rest of Baekhyun's body because it's covered by multiple blankets that should be doing the job of keeping him warm in this cold weather, but after Chanyeol searches for Baekhyun's hand under the covers and takes a hold of it, he decides that the blankets are doing a shit job of shielding Baekhyun from the cold upon feeling the freezing temperature of Baekhyun's fingers. 

"He's here only temporary," Kyungsoo tells him. "When he wakes up, they'll move him to a camp further away from the fronts so it'll be more safe."

" _If_ he wakes up," Chanyeol corrects Kyungsoo, squeezing Baekhyun's cold hand tighter under the blankets. Why is it that Baekhyun's whole body is scorching hot because of the fever, but only his hand is as cold as snow?

"No. _When_ he wakes up," Kyungsoo insists, stepping closer to Chanyeol and looking down at Baekhyun as well. "He'll be alright." Oh, how Chanyeol wishes for it to be true - after everything that has been done to the boy, Baekhyun deserves to be alright at the end of this painful road, and so if not for Chanyeol, than Baekhyun has to wake up for himself, continue living until he finally fulfills his dream of being truly happy at one point in his life. "Just give it time and don't give up too soon. From what they've said Baekhyun's body is weak from loss of blood, but his fever is making it all worse, which means that the healing and the regeneration process are longer than they would normally be. Give it time. He'll wake up eventually, I'm certain." Apart from the farewell, these are the last words Kyungsoo tells him before walking away, leaving Chanyeol with Baekhyun in the tent, knowing that both of them need some alone time.

The chair Chanyeol is sitting on is small and uncomfortable, but he still sits on it for hours as he waits for Baekhyun to wake up by the boy's side. He stands up from it only when his back and bottom start to hurt too much or when his panic kicks in again, Chanyeol having to walk around a little to calm down and push every negative thought to the back of his mind, but aside from these two reasons, Chanyeol truly spends the whole night sitting on the terrible, rock-hard chair, his eyes glued to Baekhyun's face and his hand holding on to Baekhyun's. 

Chanyeol doesn't even realize that it's already morning until a medic slips in through the entrance of the tent, a tray with food and water in his hands. Immediately, Chanyeol identifies him as the guy from yesterday who has recognized Baekhyun the moment Chanyeol put the boy on the stretcher, and just like a few hours ago, the medic shoots him a strange look as he comes closer, putting the tray on the small bedside table before turning his attention to Baekhyun. It's not exactly a glare, but it's still not a really nice look either.

"I need to check on him, could you please step away?" the medic asks, glancing at Baekhyun's and Chanyeol's intertwined fingers that come to view after the boy takes off the blankets. Although Chanyeol doesn't want to let go of Baekhyun, he listens, not wanting to look uncooperating in front of the only person who hasn't been glaring at him from the moment Chanyeol stepped out of the truck with Baekhyun in his arms. "Thanks," says the medic when Chanyeol untangles his fingers from Baekhyun's and gets up from the chair, standing a meter away from the bed as he wonders if this distance is considered good enough. 

When the blankets are pulled down all the way to the curve of Baekhyun's bottom, Chanyeol finally gets to see Baekhyun's bare back and the whip wounds there that look much better now that they've been treated by someone who actually knows what they are doing. Chanyeol did the best he could when he was taking care of Baekhyun; he put healing ointments on the wounds and disinfected them, then patched them up, but that's all he was able to do with his limited knowledge. However, now the huge cuts on Baekhyun's back are taken care of by a professional, and it definitely looks very different from Chanyeol's lousy treatment, since those of the wounds that have re-opened got stitches instead of some ointment. 

The gunshot wound on Baekhyun's side also got stitches, and despite how much it was bleeding on the way, Chanyeol was told that it isn't as serious as it looked, since the bullet only grazed Baekhyun and didn't do any serious damage aside from the loss of blood. When Chanyeol asked if the loss of blood could be fatal - and when Kyungsoo asked the question a second later instead of Chanyeol for it to be answered - the doctor said that he can't say with certainty because it's Baekhyun's overall condition that is a problem here. Given all of Baekhyun's injuries and also him getting sick, it was said in the end that if Baekhyun doesn't wake up in the next twenty-four hours, the possibility that he will die is very likely.

"There is... a thing on Baekhyun's stomach," the medic says all of sudden while looking over the wounds on Baekhyun's back and the cut on Baekhyun's side. He doesn't look up from Baekhyun to check if Chanyeol is paying attention to him, because he knows that Chanyeol is definitely listening. "But it healed nicely... Did you do it?" the boy asks. "His other wounds were are also patched up... Did you take care of him?" While waiting for the answer, the medic changes Baekhyun's bandages, touching Baekhyun's hand carefully as he wraps a new, clean roll bandage around the injured wrists. 

Chanyeol is a little taken aback by the question, not expecting it, mostly because of the treatment he has gotten from everyone here since he came After all the judging eyes, glares and whispers, he didn't think that anyone would ask him if he took care of Baekhyun instead of asking if he was the one who hurt Baekhyun, which is why Chanyeol is quiet for a while, shocked speechless. However, when the medic glances at him after a few beats of silence, Chanyeol nods, saying, "I was assigned to..." what, guard Baekhyun? The boy would never get past the locked metal door. Take care of him? He failed completely in that. "I was assigned to keep him alive," Chanyeol decides to say in the end.

"Well, until now you've been doing a pretty good job," the medic tells him, and Chanyeol gulps down and looks down on the ground in shame. _He didn't only fail when it came to taking care of the boy, but in the end, he failed to keep him alive as well._ "It wasn't meant to be ill-minded. Sorry if it came out wrong," apologizing, the medic pulls the blankets back up and covers Baekhyun. "I'm actually very grateful that you helped Baekhyun," the doe-eyed boy tells Chanyeol, scratching his neck as he looks away, seemingly having a hard time saying this to someone whom he considers an enemy. "If he survives, it's only thanks to you. So, uhm... thank you."

"How did you know Baekhyun?" Chanyeol asks before he can stop himself, curiosity taking over him. 

He thinks that the medic won't answer, but to Chanyeol's surprise, the boy says, "At one point, we were together in one camp, but then he was re-assigned elsewhere - to Pohang, more specifically." Then, the medic's face falls. "But only one week later, the area around Pohang was ambushed and it was said that nobody from the camp Baekhyun was in had survived. I thought that Baekhyun had died as well..." he trails off, sadness lacing his voice. "Baekhyun was well-liked by many, many people. He was a really good person."

"I've heard," Chanyeol nods. Kyungsoo told him some things, after all.

"While I'm glad he didn't die, I'm sorry for the torture he had to go through," the medic tells him, knowing that there was way more wounds on Baekhyun's body in the past three or so months than is visible at this moment. "But I guess you were there for him, so at least he wasn't alone." That being said, Chanyeol is left speechless again upon seeing that this boy does not only acknowledge Chanyeol - unlike others who ignore the soldier wholeheartedly if they aren't glaring - but also acknowledges Chanyeol as someone who is obviously there with Baekhyun as a lover, not as someone who wants to hurt him. "Well, I have to go or people might think that something is wrong, so... bye- uh.."

"Chanyeol," Chanyeol provides. "I'm Park Chanyeol."

"Kim Minseok," the medic introduces himself as well. "Bye, Park Chanyeol. And eat something."

But Chanyeol doesn't. There is no space for food in his stomach even though he has not eaten anything since yesterday's lunch, the extreme stress and fear making Chanyeol feel sick at the sole mention of food, and so Chanyeol only drinks the water after returning back and sitting down on the uncomfortable chair, taking a hold of Baekhyun's hand once again. The boy's hand isn't colder than before, but it isn't any warmer either, which makes Chanyeol even more disheartened as he continues to sit by Baekhyun's side, waiting for the boy to open his eyes and stop torturing Chanyeol like this. 

Time passes, and Chanyeol slowly starts losing his mind, all of his worries getting to him slowly as Baekhyun continues to lie unmovingly on the bed for more hours. The weather must be nice today, Chanyeol guesses, because even though he didn't go out and see for himself, holed up in the tent with Baekhyun since the time he first entered, he can feel that it's much warmer than it was yesterday or the few days before. _It's only good, since Baekhyun will feel warmer too_ , Chanyeol thinks as he strokes the back of Baekhyun's hand with his thumb, his head resting on the mattress. 

Because of the silence in here, Chanyeol is able to hear voices from outside pretty clear, same as the faraway faint sound of gunshots. By what Chanyeol's ears catch, the word about a North Korean soldier being here in the camp has spread pretty quickly, and although Chanyeol doesn't want to listen to what people say about him coming here, he can't simply mute it out when the voices are so clear, the people that talk about him too close to the tent. The things said about him are hurtful, but not because they are shaming Chanyeol's pride, calling him a traitor who definitely can't be trusted if he betrayed his own country, no; The words are hurtful because they all talk about how sure they are that Chanyeol is a bad person who has definitely taken part in torturing Baekhyun, that Chanyeol has even forced himself on Baekhyun. He knows he shouldn't be listening to others' mean gossip, but it's impossible when the voices are so loud, even louder than Chanyeol's thoughts. 

Again, Chanyeol only realizes it's lunch when Minseok walks through the entrance of the tent, carrying another tray with food and water - Chanyeol made sure to remember the medic's name, since the boy is the only person aside for Kyungsoo who doesn't take him for a rapist here. "You haven't eaten anything," Minseok comments with a sigh, putting the new try on the edge of the bed, since there is no space on the bedside table. "You have to eat." 

"Sorry," Chanyeol apologizes simply. "You've wasted food on me, I apologize."

"It's not about that - although you shouldn't waste food, really" Minseok scolds him. "You have to take care of yourself, or you'll die before Baekhyun even gets to wake up. Baekhyun wouldn't appreciate that."

"He's not waking up, though. And he always wakes up early in the morning."

"Oh yeah, that strange habit of his." With a smile, Minseok looks over to Baekhyun. "Everyone was wondering how it's possible, but nobody knows until now. It's just Baekhyun's thing." When Chanyeol glances at the medic, he can see memories flashing in front of Minseok's eyes, the look unmistakable. It's a look familiar to the one Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had yesterday as they were sharing stories about Jongin - _familiar_ and not _the same_ because there is a spark of hope in Minseok's eyes, and there was nothing like that in Kyungsoo's or Chanyeol's. "Some of the people around the camp started saying that Baekhyun rises with the Sun because he himself is the Sun, so everyone starting calling him _sunshine_ instead of _angel_ \- he liked the new nickname way more." Chanyeol chuckles, his lips forming a fond smile as he looks back at Baekhyun. He wonders how a bright and happy Baekhyun looks like; how does a person who was called _sunshine_ look like. What Baekhyun showed Chanyeol were just the left-overs of his past self, but it's not like Chanyeol can blame the boy, since it wasn't Baekhyun's fault that his past self started shattering to pieces after everything that was done to him in the past three months. Chanyeol hopes that he can mend the broken pieces back together once Baekhyun wakes up, though. "Anyway," Minseok then says, changing the topic. "Him not waking up today doesn't have anything to do with his habit; Baekhyun is hurt, of course he wouldn't wake up so soon. It takes time. Just be patient." 

And then, after ordering Chanyeol to eat something and threatening the soldier with saying that he will tell Baekhyun about his lover not eating if Chanyeol doesn't take at least one bite of the food, he leaves. Being aware that Baekhyun wouldn't be too glad to hear such a thing, Chanyeol listens, and tries to at least eat a little while having literally not desire to do so, the food tasting not even half as good as it should. However, on the brighter side, eating distracts him for a while, making time go faster as Chanyeol forces himself to eat, the voices of people talking ill about him outside serving like a background noise. 

Distracting himself with food is good enough for half an hour, but then Chanyeol is back to staring at Baekhyun intensely in a hope that Baekhyun will feel his gaze and will finally, _finally_ wake up. In the eyes of medics it might be normal for Baekhyun not to wake up so soon after such injuries and fever on top of it - _it takes time_ , as Minseok said - but for Chanyeol it's truly a torture to wait another minute, and another, and then another, when every one of those minutes that pass makes Chanyeol's heart break a little more upon the sight of Baekhyun's still closed eyes. 

Kyungsoo comes to see him in the evening, eyes red and puffy. "I've heard you're not eating," Kyungsoo starts as he comes up to Chanyeol. "You have to eat." His voice is strict, as if he was ready to beat some sense into Chanyeol if the soldier doesn't listen despite how obviously weak he is right now, all the crying and sadness taking a toll on the short man. 

"I already have, don't worry," Chanyeol tells him. _You should worry about yourself._ "Have you slept some?"

Kyungsoo smiles sadly, not even answering, knowing that Chanyeol can read the answer from his expression. "Have you?" Kyungsoo asks instead, and Chanyeol snorts, the question sounding almost absurd. Now, he understands the stupidity of what he has asked - Chanyeol couldn't get a blink of sleep himself, so Kyungsoo would definitely not be any better. "You should come out for a few, clear your mind. It's not good to be holed up the whole time."

"I really don't-"

"Come on. I'll tell Minseok to watch over him," Kyungsoo says, but Chanyeol still doesn't think it's a good idea. _What if Baekhyun wakes up and I won't be here?_ Chanyeol thinks, not liking the idea of not being the first one who Baekhyun sees after opening his pretty eyes. "You cannot forget about hygiene, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo reminds him. "Baekhyun wouldn't like a stinky guy." When Chanyeol doesn't move an inch, Kyungsoo frowns and takes a hold of Chanyeol's arm, pulling the man up. "Come on," he repeats, his voice ringing with finality, and Chanyeol has no other choice than to agree.

Dragged away by Kyungsoo, Chanyeol only gets to kiss Baekhyun's hand before he is led out of the tent, his eyes slightly widening in surprise when he sees Minseok standing right outside of it. "I'll take care of him," the medic promises as he goes to take Chanyeol's place on the uncomfortable hair. Chanyeol doesn't even get to say anything back before Kyungsoo tugs at his shirt again, continuing to drag him away. 

Chanyeol notices that Kyungsoo isn't all that familiar with the place, but after looking around a few times with furrowed brows, he eventually finds a way to the bathrooms, leading Chanyeol in and telling the soldier to take a shower while he goes get a towel and some clothes for Chanyeol to wear. Kyungsoo then leaves without bothering to wait for Chanyeol's reply, pointing out the soap and one of the showers as if Chanyeol couldn't see it before he disappears. Chanyeol sighs and decides that he'll take a quick shower - not that he has a choice - because the sooner he is done here, the sooner he can go back to Baekhyun. 

There are two other guys showering on the other side of the room, but they don't seem to mind Chanyeol, neither of them even sparing Chanyeol a glace. Chanyeol is definitely happy for that, but not because he is too shy or something, but because he simply doesn't want to listen to insults anymore, gossip that isn't even true. 

He takes off his clothes quickly and puts them on a wooden bench in the middle of the room, stepping into of the showers and turning on the water immediately, not wasting time. At this moment he doesn't even care about standing barefoot in a shower corner with questioning cleanness and about the water not being as hot as it should be with a boiler turned on; he only tries to be as quick as possible as he covers his body with soap, getting rid of the smell - Kyungsoo was right, Baekhyun wouldn't like a stinky guy. 

It's shortly before Chanyeol is ready to turn the shower off that he hears a, "Wait, isn't that _that_ guy?" Right away, Chanyeol freezes on the spot, biting his inner cheeks as he hears the other guy answer, "I guess it is. I can feel the smell of a shit from North all the way here." When they start talking about him as if Chanyeol wasn't even there, Chanyeol starts wishing for Kyungsoo to be here already, hating how the short man is already taking so long. Since Chanyeol doesn't have a towel here either, only his old probably not-smelling-the-best clothes, he simply stays under the shower while waiting, acting like he is still enjoying the water instead of desperately praying for Kyungsoo to come back soon. 

"Hey, what's your name?" one of the two guys call out, but Chanyeol ignores it. "Are you deaf or something? Or are you scared?" A round of laugh. "We just want to befriend you, so-"

"I'm back," Kyungsoo's voice cuts through the noise, and suddenly the two guys in the back are silent as if they've never spoken. "I hope there wasn't any trouble," Kyungsoo adds, and after Chanyeol turns off the shower and turns to him, he sees the short man staring pointedly at the two persons on the other end of the room, the look in his big eyes screaming with warning. 

"No, nothing," Chanyeol says, not wanting any trouble. Kyungsoo doesn't seem to believe in Chanyeol's answer but lets it go eventually, turning away from the two and handing Chanyeol a towel so the man can dry himself first. "I took one of the larger ones, so I hope they'll fit," Kyungsoo tells him before putting the new clothes on the bench and announcing that he'll wait outside, but that Chanyeol can call him in if there is _trouble_. After getting a nod from Chanyeol, he leaves again, Chanyeol hearing the main entrance door opening and shutting. 

Quickly, Chanyeol starts putting on the clothes that surprisingly fit him perfectly, wondering for a minute what he'll do with the old ones but then deciding that he should just throw them out. He starts drying off his hair too after he is dressed, and he is surprised that no other word is not only aimed at him, but that the two men don't exchange as much as a glance either between themselves. _It's quite fascinating_ , Chanyeol thinks; how such a short, nice-looking man can be so menacing, shutting everyone up and throwing around orders without being questioned at all. However, if Chanyeol was from the South and heard of a man that had gone for basically a death mission and came back, he would most likely have a huge amount of respect for Kyungsoo too. Good thing that Kyungsoo is on his side. 

After getting dressed, drying his hair at least a little and going to toilet that he finds in the room next to this, Chanyeol finally walks out, meeting Kyungsoo there and walking with him back to Baekhyun's tent. "Do you think he has woken up?" Chanyeol asks as they walk. 

"I don't think so, no," Kyungsoo answers carefully. "Minseok would definitely send someone for us if yes."

For one, Chanyeol is glad that Baekhyun didn't wake up when Chanyeol wasn't there, but on the other hand, he really wants Baekhyun to come back already. It's noon, dinner time. The twenty-four hours are almost up - keyword being _almost_ , but Chanyeol doesn't care about exaggerating right now - and Baekhyun is still not giving any sign of waking up anytime soon. 

"But I'm sure he'll come back to us soon," Kyungsoo says while side-glancing a soldier who glared at Chanyeol in warning. "It's your birthday. He wouldn't miss it." Somehow, these words truly lift Chanyeol's spirit, the man's heart suddenly filled with hope as well as with sadness upon realizing that Baekhyun might wake up until Chanyeol's birthday is over, but Jongin isn't here to celebrate together with him. 

When they get back, Baekhyun is still lying in the same position and Minseok is searching for something inside the bedside table, the frown on his face disappearing only when he finds a small bottle of something which is probably the thing he was looking for. Upon noticing Kyungsoo and Chanyeol coming in, he welcomes them back and pulls out the bottle, closing the drawer, and as Chanyeol comes closer, he hands the tall man the bottle. "Put this on Baekhyun's back and... down there. It should speed up the healing. But don't put it on that gunshot wound, it's still too fresh and it wouldn't do it any good," he explains. "I wanted to do it myself when I remembered that the ointment is here but I couldn't find it until now."

Chanyeol nods and inspects the bottle, turning it around in his hand, though there is not much to see, since it's only a regular white bottle with a liquid inside. "Should I just-"

"With this," Minseok cuts him off, knowing what Chanyeol wants to ask. "You pour it on these and carefully pat the area that is injured. You can wet the pads with it all you want - the more the better, even." Chanyeol looks past Minseok and focuses his eyes on some type of pads that are lying on the small table, nodding in understanding. "Okay, then I should go, since you are already back. Dinner won't wait for me," he says, walking past Chanyeol and asking Kyungsoo if he is coming with. When Kyungsoo tells him that he'll stay with Chanyeol for a bit longer, the medic only nods and makes his way out, his last words being, "Let me know when he wakes up, even if it's in the middle of the night, okay?" And then he's gone. 

"Do you know each other well?" Chanyeol asks as he opens the bottle and takes the pad in his hand, wetting them. "You seem to be close."

"We aren't close. And we don't know each other either - I only met him yesterday, but since he knows Baekhyun, he is nice to me. And to you too," Kyungsoo tells him, sitting on the edge of the bed again, staring into distance.

"Do you know if Baekhyun and him are close, then?" Chanyeol pries further. "They seem to be the same age, so maybe-"

"They aren't," Kyungsoo chuckles, glancing at Chanyeol as if Chanyeol was an idiot for thinking so. "Definitely not. Minseok is twenty-eight."

"No."

"Yes."

"B-But he looks so young," Chanyeol says, not believing what Kyungsoo is saying. Kim Minseok can't be more than twenty-five at most, definitely not older than that. "Are you sure?"

"I asked him today during lunch. That's when he also told me that you are not taking care of yourself. So I'd be glad if that didn't happen again." The look Kyungsoo gives him is full of warning too, but it's different from the looks Kyungsoo gives others when he is bothered by their behavior; this look is holding warmness too, making it clear that Kyungsoo just wants what's best for Chanyeol. Chanyeol wonders if Kyungsoo cares for him so much because Jongin would want that - both of them looking after each other as the two persons Jongin loved the most, that is. "Before you take care of Baekhyun, you need to take care of yourself."

"I will," Chanyeol promises. Kyungsoo might be caring for Chanyeol because he is a good person and feels the need to be Chanyeol's friend in a time like this, but he is also doing this for Jongin, and Chanyeol wouldn't want Kyungsoo's efforts going down the drain. 

Kyungsoo stays for a while longer while Chanyeol puts the ointment on the wounds on Baekhyun's back, but the short man takes his leave when Chanyeol gets ready to put the ointment on places lower than Baekhyun's back, excusing himself. "I'll bring you dinner later," he says before going away, leaving Chanyeol alone with Baekhyun again, and Chanyeol, to be honest, is glad that Kyungsoo left now, but not because he doesn't enjoy the man's company, definitely not; it's because Chanyeol might be okay with people seeing him naked, but he isn't all that okay with people seeing Baekhyun naked, which is why Chanyeol is happy that Kyungsoo left before Chanyeol got to applying ointment on such an intimate part of Baekhyun's body. 

As promised, Kyungsoo brings him dinner after some minutes, threatening to punch Chanyeol if the soldier doesn't eat the food, and despite the harsh words - _eat it or I'll hit you so hard that your jaw will open by itself, and then I'll feed you -_ Chanyeol finds Kyungsoo's attention and care sweet. And also, he finally gets to see the _a bit violent but still full of love_ behavior Jongin mentioned to him once - at that time, Chanyeol was confused by how can violence be full of love, but now he sees what Jongin meant. 

Kyungsoo stays to look after Chanyeol as the soldier eats, making sure that he truly eats everything - or at least a part of it - this way. Afterwards, when Chanyeol eats as much as he possibly can in a mood like this, Kyungsoo bids him goodnight and tells Chanyeol to search for him when Baekhyun wakes up, describing where he's going to be so Chanyeol can easily find him without waking the whole camp up. Chanyeol nods, returning the _goodnight_ even though that nor Kyungsoo or him are going to sleep tonight. 

And so, again, Chanyeol waits after he is left alone, holding Baekhyun's hand like he has been doing for hours now, squeezing it and kissing it, playing it with and hoping that Baekhyun can feel the touch of Chanyeol's hand or lips on his skin - maybe if he felt the love in Chanyeol's touches, he'd wake up sooner. However, Chanyeol soon realizes that it was only his foolish thinking - or _desperate_ can be an appropriate word too - because even though Baekhyun's hand is not as cold as it used to be and his face has more color than it used to have before as well, Baekhyun is still not waking up.

Time passes, but since there is no clock and no people to remind him of what part of the day it is, Chanyeol doesn't know if he's been waiting for minutes or hours now. It doesn't really matter though; all that is important that no matter the time that has passed, Baekhyun is still unconscious. Chanyeol would start panicking, thinking that Baekhyun could already be dead, but the slight heaving and falling of the boy's chest is enough of an indication that Baekhyun is still alive and fighting. 

The whole day, Chanyeol at least tried to be patient, but he has ran out of it it seems, because at one point, Chanyeol starts crying again, begging Baekhyun to come back to him just like he was begging the boy to open his pretty eyes when they were on their way here. "Come on, Baekhyun," Chanyeol urges, holding Baekhyun's hand with both of his own now, kissing it as he stares intensely at Baekhyun through the tears that are blurring his vision. "I need you with me, so just come back, angel," the soldier's pleas might repeat, but why should it matter if they all hold the same wish, same purpose. "I refuse to live without you. I can't even imagine a reality where you aren't with me anymore." Or more like, Chanyeol can imagine it well, but it's so scary that he'd rather not do it. "You swore to sing for me, so you can't leave without fulfilling your promise. You hate breaking promises, after all," Chanyeol says, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand "You said you'll teach me Japanese too, since you know it so well. And that you'll show me the sea once," Chanyeol reminds Baekhyun as if the boy could hear him. "And you have a wish too, you can't die without making it come true. You said you don't want to go before you are happy at one point in your life, and you'll have a chance now, Baekhyun." Chanyeol takes a pause to catch his breath, realizing that he somehow forgot to take one, and then he adds, "I'll make you so happy, angel, but just stay with me. I'll make it alright. I'll be with you forever. I swear to love you all my life, _so come back already._ "

But Baekhyun doesn't, and Chanyeol cries more, hope slipping away with every passing second. His heart hurts so much that it makes his whole body hurt as Chanyeol's sadness turns into frustration, the urge to just hit something becoming too strong to ignore. And so, to vent it out, Chanyeol stands up from the chair, letting Baekhyun's hand fall down on a mattress as he turns around and kicks the ground, holding the frustrated scream inside because it would attract too much unwanted attention if Chanyeol started yelling curses in the middle of the night. Still, Chanyeol is free to whisper the curses and so that's what he does, whispering profanities under his breath to his heart's content. 

However, it all just makes Chanyeol sadder, the man returning to Baekhyun's side after abusing the ground with a few kicks and taking a hold of the pretty hand again as he continues to beg Baekhyun to come back to him. "I'll kill myself if you die, Baekhyun," Chanyeol tells the unconscious boy. "I won't live without you. Jongin is gone, and if you follow him, I'll have nobody." Yes, him and Kyungsoo could become good friends, but it would still never fill the hole in Chanyeol's chest that would be left after his heart shatters. "I'll be the best lover for you, angel. I will do everything for you. I will love you with all of my heart and more, I swear. Just don't do this to me."

Chanyeol's head falls on the mattress, his forehead resting on top of Baekhyun's hand, the coldness of it against Chanyeol's skin almost taunting the soldier. As much as Chanyeol wanted to hold Baekhyun's hand to keep himself from going crazy, by now he isn't sure if it's keeping him grounded or if he's losing his sanity even faster.

Chanyeol is starting to lose hope. He isn't sure if it's been twenty four hours now or not, but Baekhyun sure doesn't seem to be waking up anytime soon, and Chanyeol is _tired._ The fact that he has slept for roughly four hours at most these past two nights is definitely making him sleepy, but Chanyeol doesn't want to sleep, not really; what he feels is a different kind of tired. It's the kind where Chanyeol is so emotionally weak after so much crying and thinking that he just wants it all to end already, his heart and mind way more tired than his body. 

Despite being tired, Chanyeol refuses to give up though. What kind of a liar would he be if he gave up on Baekhyun now, anyway? After telling Baekhyun all these things about loving the boy til the end of his life with everything he has, it would feel like Chanyeol is betraying Baekhyun if he let go of the last bits of hope just because Baekhyun isn't waking up yet. _He'll come back to me,_ Chanyeol tells himself, refusing to believe in anything else. After all, Baekhyun was strong enough to live through the torture that lasted close to three months, which is quite unreal considering all of the things they did to him, and the only thing Chanyeol wants now is one more miracle from Baekhyun. 

Just one. 

And Baekhyun seems to hear his pleas, because it's shortly after Chanyeol sniffles and begs Baekhyun to wake up already once again that Baekhyun finally stirs on the bed, Chanyeol's heart skipping a beat when Baekhyun squeezes his hand back weakly. Immediately, Chanyeol lifts his head up, looking at Baekhyun's face with wide eyes, needing to see if Baekhyun has really woken up or if Chanyeol's mind is playing games with him, making him imagine things that aren't really happening. However, when Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun's face, Baekhyun's eyes are open - even though only barely - and the boy is looking right back at him from under his eyelashes, blinking slowly, his eyelids still feeling heavy. His mouth moves too, Baekhyun probably attempting to say something, and though no sound comes, Chanyeol can make out his own name on Baekhyun's bow-shaped lips. 

Chanyeol's eyes water with another dose of tears because of the wave of happiness that washes over him.

After finding out that he can't really talk, Baekhyun licks his lips and gulps, squeezing Chanyeol's hand tighter, his long, slim fingers tanging themselves in Chanyeol's ones. "H-Hi," the boy whispers in the quietest voice in the end, mustering all of his strength to say just this one word, and despite the low volume, Chanyeol hears the greeting clearly, Baekhyun's hoarse voice traveling to his ears with ease. 

It takes less than a second for Chanyeol to start crying, the soldier's face that was wearing an expression full of misery the whole day now split in two with a wide grin that radiates joy, Chanyeol not being able to hide his delight in the slightest. "Hey there, angel," he greets back, a rejoiceful laugh escaping his lips as he wipes away the tears from his cheeks and eyes, wanting to see Baekhyun clearly. Upon the sight of Baekhyun's open eyes and the tiniest hint of smile on Baekhyun's pink lips, Chanyeol suddenly forgets all of the sadness and pain he was feeling during the day, his heart and mind only filled with happiness that leaves no place for any other emotion. "Welcome back," the soldiers says, his chin quivering, and he doesn't hesitate for a second before he leans in and captures Baekhyun's lips in a slow kiss, pouring all of his emotions into it, knowing that Baekhyun will understand Chanyeol's feelings this way. 

God, Baekhyun's lips taste good like never before now, and Chanyeol wants to continue kissing the boy for at least one lifetime if not even more, but he knows that now it's not a good time to kiss Baekhyun senseless. "I love you," Chanyeol whispers against Baekhyun's lips after he pulls away, one hand holding and the other cupping Baekhyun's hot cheek with utmost carefulness as he stares into the half-lidded ocean eyes. They are beautiful, just like they have always been, and Chanyeol can't describe in words how glad is he that he has got the chance to see them again. "I love you so much, Baekhyun. Please never scare me like that again." 

Chanyeol knows that he should go get Kyungsoo and Minseok, but the soldier can't let go of Baekhyun so soon, and so he lets his head fall into the crook of the boy's neck for a while instead, just breathing in Baekhyun's scent that is still so strong despite the multiple ointments and disinfection that have been applied on his skin. Baekhyun attempts to say something again while Chanyeol's head is resting on his shoulder, but his voice sounds so strained at the very first word that Chanyeol cuts him off gently, telling him to rest now and save up energy for later. Then, he kisses Baekhyun's bare shoulder to let him know that him not being able to speak just yet is alright, because knowing Baekhyun, the boy would definitely be frustrated with himself even in this state. "You have to rest now, okay? You'll tell me whatever you want later."

"Okay," Baekhyun whispers in response, and Chanyeol can't help but chuckle as Baekhyun's stubbornness shows itself only a few minutes after Baekhyun waking up.

"I missed you, angel. I missed you so much," Chanyeol says, placing another kiss on Baekhyun's shoulder, and then another one on the bruise on Baekhyun's neck. _I had missed you for all the time we could have lost if you didn't wake up._

As much as Chanyeol would like to stay like this with Baekhyun forever, he is aware that Baekhyun needs a checkup from a medic, and since Minseok is the only one who doesn't hate him, then Minseok it is. He tells Baekhyun that he'll be right back, that he just needs to get Minseok to take a look at him, and after kissing the boy on the lips one more time, Chanyeol promises he'll be as quick as possible before exiting the tent, already feeling the urge to just turn on his heel and go back to Baekhyun. It feels like a sin to leave the boy's side, to be honest.

Chanyeol gets Kyungsoo first because he is not really in a mood to be glared at as he tries to search for the medic unit's tent, and then they get Minseok together - Chanyeol still gets nasty looks, but they are for sure less than the number of glares he would have gotten if he walked around the camp alone. When Kyungsoo hears the news of Baekhyun waking up, it's obvious that he is genuinely happy for Chanyeol, his smile warm as he tells Chanyeol _See, I told you so,_ but Chanyeol can also see a glimmer of envy in his big eyes as well. However, he doesn't hold it against Kyungsoo; Chanyeol is sure that he would have the same look in his eyes if he were in Kyungsoo's shoes. 

When Minseok hears about the news, he is ecstatic, jumping out of his bed in a second while, too, telling Chanyeol _I told you so._ Chanyeol would be frustrated by hearing two _I told you so_ s in such a short amount of time, since he really, really hates it, but now his mind is only filled with Baekhyun, and so Chanyeol doesn't think much of it - to be honest, for once in his life he is even glad to hear it. 

After getting back to the tent, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo stand one meter away from the bed as Minseok checks Baekhyun's condition, asking Baekhyun multiple yes-or-no questions so the only thing Baekhyun has to do is nod or shake his head. In the meantime, Kyungsoo talks to Chanyeol to make the time passes quicker for the soldier, the short man knowing very well that Chanyeol is dying to go over to Baekhyun and snuggle up to him, needing some alone time with his lover now that Baekhyun is awake. As Kyungsoo tries to distract him, Chanyeol also can't help but wonder about how broken Kyungsoo must be underneath all of the warm smiles, the man being happy for Chanyeol while knowing that his own lover is never coming back like Baekhyun did. "Don't look at me like that," Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol, somehow finding out what Chanyeol is thinking about. "I'm-.. I'm just fine," Kyungsoo says. "And I'm happy for you. I really am."

Chanyeol still feels guilty. 

It takes maybe fifteen minutes for Minseok to get all the information he needed from Baekhyun, and it takes five minutes for Chanyeol to understand all of Minseok's orders regarding taking care of Baekhyun that come afterwards. "It's not really safe to be here, because we are expecting a counter attack this week, which is why we'll need to move Baekhyun to a camp that's further away from here. However, it all depends on Baekhyun's condition; if he is visibly better tomorrow, we can move him, but if he is still too weak, it would be risky." Chanyeol nods, understanding that no matter if it's dangerous here, they will have to stay until Baekhyun is better - which Chanyeol hopes will be soon, because it hurts the soldier to see the very Baekhyun that was smiling at him so brightly not being able to even talk. 

Minseok leaves after repeating Chanyeol what to do if Baekhyun is in pain during the night, announcing that he will be back in morning to do another check-up, and Kyungsoo leaves only a minute after the medic, not forgetting to remind Chanyeol that he shouldn't feel bad for Baekhyun being here while Jongin isn't. "Don't ever feel guilty for that," Kyungsoo tells him, shaking his head at Chanyeol, back again with that passive-aggressive, threatening-but-warm look in his eyes. "You can't feel guilty about your lover coming back to you, you idiot." After scolding him, Kyungsoo bids him goodnight, telling him to actually sleep today if he doesn't want to be a living corpse tomorrow, and then leaves too. 

Chanyeol heaves a sigh, still feeling a little bad despite Kyungsoo's words, but the guilt soon leaves him when he turns his head to Baekhyun, making eye-contact with the boy who is now lying on his non-injured side, staring at Chanyeol with tired eyes. At that moment, when Baekhyun attempts to give Chanyeol a small smile as if he was proud of himself for making it and coming back to his lover, Chanyeol realizes that while he feels sorry for Kyungsoo, he wouldn't have it any other way; happiness from seeing Baekhyun alive is much greater than the guilt in his heart, after all. 

With a smile of his own, Chanyeol walks over to Baekhyun and sits on the bed carefully, running a hand through Baekhyun's hair. "You've made it," he whispers, leaning in and kissing Baekhyun's cheek. It's still hot, but Chanyeol's lips are at least not burning at the contact anymore, which is good enough for now. "But you scared me a lot." Chanyeol continues to stroke Baekhyun's hair as he talks, his chest blooming with affection when Baekhyun closes his eyes in content. "You've been so strong, angel. You are amazing." Baekhyun might be proud of himself for fighting the odds and waking up, but Chanyeol will forever be prouder. "I'm really happy that you came back to me."

Chanyeol might have not slept much in two days, but - surprisingly - he doesn't feel tired. Now that Baekhyun is up, the boy's slender fingers drumming against Chanyeol's thigh as Chanyeol sits on the bed and strokes the boy's hair, Chanyeol feels way too happy to be able to fall asleep just yet, the soldier so joyful that he can't even close his eyes, let alone sleep. It still feels like a dream, to be honest, since only a few hours ago he was drowning in misery while looking at Baekhyun's motionless body, and now he is able to look into Baekhyun's ocean eyes again, admiring the beauty of them like so many times before. It's strange; how Chanyeol felt all those horrible emotions so intensely until just a few minutes ago, and now, as he stares at Baekhyun's beautiful face, a subtle smile playing on the boy's pretty lips, Chanyeol remembers the feeling of hopelessness and desperateness only faintly - Chanyeol believes that it's like this because the incredible joy that washed over him after Baekhyun woke up was much stronger than the misery that he had felt before, making him forget all about the sadness that was seizing his heart during the long hours he had spent by Baekhyun's side. 

"I'm tired," Baekhyun whispers after some time, his fingers now lying still on Chanyeol's thigh. 

"Go to sleep then," Chanyeol tells him, caressing Baekhyun's cheek. "You need rest." 

"Together," the boy says simply, blue eyes fixated on Chanyeol's. "Let's... Let's go together." _You must be tired,_ Baekhyun wants to add but doesn't get to it, an ugly cough cutting him off. However, Chanyeol understands, so it's okay. He has always been able to understand Baekhyun, even without words. 

"There's no enough space on the bed, but I'm fine like this," Chanyeol assures Baekhyun as he makes himself comfortable on the chair - as comfortable as possible, that is. Baekhyun gives him a look, not liking the idea of Chanyeol sleeping like that, but Chanyeol shushes him with a short but nonetheless sweet kiss, saying that it's alright. "Goodnight, love," he tells Baekhyun, giving him a smile. His cheeks are honestly starting to hurt from so much smiling, but Chanyeol can't seem to stop the corners of his lips from being tugged upwards in happiness - and he doesn't really mind such kind of pain either, so it's fine. "Sleep well." 

It doesn't take long before Baekhyun falls asleep, and Chanyeol isn't surprised - with Baekhyun's condition it was a miracle that the boy was even able to keep himself awake for so long. Seeing Baekhyun drifting off makes Chanyeol quite sleepy too though, and while the soldier didn't feel like sleeping until this moment, he definitely feels like it now, and so he lets his eyelids fall down, deciding to join Baekhyun in the dreamland. The last thing Chanyeol's eyes catch before closing is Baekhyun's face, the boy's button nose, long eyelashes and pink lips bidding Chanyeol goodnight, and Chanyeol feels great despite the horrible position he chose for sleeping. 

In the midst of falling asleep, somewhere between reality and dreams, Chanyeol wonders if Baekhyun coming back to him is a birthday gift from Jongin, his best friend making Baekhyun wake up when he saw from wherever he is right now that Chanyeol is losing the last bits of hope. Maybe it's just a completely foolish thought that Chanyeol's tired mind produced, but Chanyeol still wants to believe that it's true, no matter how stupid it is, because the idea of Jongin looking after him even after his death from somewhere is comforting, putting Chanyeol's heart at ease and bringing peace to Chanyeol's conflicted soul. 

_The best birthday gift,_ Chanyeol thinks as he squeezes Baekhyun's hand more subconsciously before drifting off as well. 

  
  


Baekhyun's recovery isn't fast, but it isn't slow either, and Chanyeol is with him the whole time, not leaving Baekhyun's side. The fever is making the process of recovery longer than it would have been without it, true, but it's still good - as Minseok and other medics said, among other things - and after the temperature of Baekhyun's body returns to normal again on the second day, they are given a green light to move him to a camp that's further away from the fronts, deeming Baekhyun stable enough to endure the car ride. At first it is said that only Chanyeol and Baekhyun are leaving, but after Chanyeol talks to Kyungsoo about many of his worries, Kyungsoo decides to ask the general for permission to go with them at least for a few days, and while it seems that Kyungsoo's request is going to get refused at the beginning, it all works out in the end - for which Chanyeol is extremely happy, because he definitely feels calmer knowing that he won't be alone in the new camp. According to what Kyungsoo tells him after meeting the general, they are going to one of the bigger camps near Pungsan, but nobody knows for how long they will stay here, since it all depends on how well the soldiers will do on battlefield. 

Just like during the escape, Chanyeol is in the back of the truck with Baekhyun - while Kyungsoo is sitting on the passenger seat beside the driver - but now their positions are different and more comfortable than before - after all, the ride to Pungsan is long, and it would be hell to be stuck in a painful position for the whole duration of the ride, which is a few hours. They spend the ride mostly in silence, with Baekhyun's head resting on Chanyeol's thighs and Chanyeol stroking the boy's hair lovingly, but there are times when they talk too, sharing a handful of words every few minutes when Baekhyun isn't feeling too tired. The thing is, Baekhyun's wounds are healing fine, but Baekhyun is still weak, his body not cooperating as good as the boy would like, and though Baekhyun wants to initiate a conversation or wants to touch Chanyeol, he gets tired easily, which cuts all the conversations and kissing sessions short. However, while Chanyeol would love to talk to Baekhyun until they can't talk anymore just like he would like to kiss Baekhyun senseless, he understands that Baekhyun needs to rest, and so he is completely okay with the comfortable silence they have going on, assuring Baekhyun of it too in case Baekhyun would think that Chanyeol is annoyed or something. "We'll have plenty time to talk, angel," Chanyeol tells Baekhyun as he continues playing with the boy's black locks. 

They make a few stops along the way in other camps, but Chanyeol only pays attention to Baekhyun, not even registering where they are. He looks up to see their surroundings only when Baekhyun says that he is a little thirsty, and since they've run out of the water they had with them, Chanyeol asks if Kyungsoo could get some for Baekhyun when they stop at yet another camp. However, that's roughly the only time he looks around himself to see where they are. Aside from that, Chanyeol only keeps his eyes on Baekhyun, his gaze glued to Baekhyun's face. Maybe it's because Baekhyun is too beautiful and Chanyeol can't tear his eyes away from such pretty features, or maybe it's because he is afraid that something would take Baekhyun away from him again. 

Despite Baekhyun being awake for two days now and healing just fine without any complications, Chanyeol is still afraid that something will go wrong and that Baekhyun will disappear from his sight again. Someone would say that he is simply thinking negatively, but it's not like Chanyeol can stop, even if it was true; after everything that has happened, Chanyeol can't seem to shake off the feeling that something will go wrong any second if he lets his guard down. And so, afraid that something bad could happen whenever, he processes to watch Baekhyun the whole time. 

He notices that Baekhyun seems strange after staring at him for hours. There is a glint in Baekhyun's blue eyes that's making Chanyeol wonder if there is anything troubling the boy, because while he knows that Baekhyun is tired and weak, the look in his orbs is something else than tiredness. After a moment of hesitation, Chanyeol decides to ask, "Baekhyun?"

"Mhmm?" Baekhyun averts his eyes from the sky and looks at Chanyeol. 

"Is something wrong?" He knows the answer to his question the very second Baekhyun's eyes widen a little in surprise before the boy bites his lip and looks away, as if ashamed. "You can tell me," Chanyeol assures him, pulling up the blanket that has fallen from Baekhyun's shoulders. "You know you can."

Baekhyun is silent for a while, his front teeth nibbling on his lower lip. He looks nervous, even afraid to say the things that are on his mind, but Chanyeol gives him the time to think it through, waiting patiently. He adds _You don't have to tell me if you don't want to_ to assure Baekhyun that he is not trying to force the boy into anything, because he really doesn't want to do that. Of course Chanyeol would like to know what's troubling Baekhyun, but not making Baekhyun uncomfortable is more important to him, and so if Baekhyun doesn't feel like talking about it, Chanyeol won't pry. 

It could be minutes later, when Chanyeol already thinks that Baekhyun won't tell him anything, that Baekhyun speaks up. "I feel guilty," Baekhyun says. Chanyeol doesn't ask why; instead, he thinks about what could have made Baekhyun feel like this. However, nothing comes to his mind, Chanyeol not being able to fathom why would Baekhyun feel guilty, of all things. "I-I... I lied to you, and I feel really bad for it, but it seemed like a right thing to do at that time, you know?" Baekhyun continues, talking fast. It's clear that he is stressed. _And afraid,_ Chanyeol adds in his mind upon feeling Baekhyun squeezing his hand tighter, slender fingers wrapping around Chanyeol's as if he thought that Chanyeol is going to let go of him. "I'm really sorry, but it was hard for me too, I-I never wanted to lie to you-"

"Hey, calm down," Chanyeol cuts him off softly, squeezing Baekhyun's hand back to make it clear that he is _not_ letting go. Baekhyun visibly relaxes, but the - as Chanyeol found out - guilty glint in his eyes stays, still present in Baekhyun's eyes. "Firstly; I lied to you too, didn't I?" Chanyeol says. "I was planning the escape behind your back, never said a thing about it. You only found out when it was already happening." Chanyeol chuckles at the memory of Baekhyun's utter confusion when Chanyeol announced that he is taking Baekhyun to a better place. "So really, I'm not the one who could judge you, stop worrying. Just tell me what you lied about. I won't get mad, I promise." Chanyeol wonders how many times he has said _I promise_ or _I swear_ since he met Baekhyun. 

"...I made you promise to leave when the two come for me, do you remember?" Chanyeol nods, clenching his jaw without realizing - that promise was one of the things he regrets the most in his life. "I told you that it's because I don't want you to see me like that." Another nod from Chanyeol. "And it was true; I wouldn't be able to look you in the eyes if you've seen me... in such a situation. I would be too humiliated." Baekhyun gulps and licks his lips, visibly collecting the courage to finally reveal his secret. "But that wasn't the only reason. I-I wanted you to go because... because I wanted them to kill me, and I knew you would never allow such a thing."

"...What are you saying?" Chanyeol asks, brows furrowing. 

"I wanted to die," Baekhyun repeats, and while he looks troubled because of the revelation, he also seems more at ease at the same time. "I was in so much pain, Chanyeol. Every week, they would come and do things to me, and at one point, when I thought about it more, I realized that this will keep on happening - this was what my life had become," Baekhyun starts explaining, his eyes watering. "I didn't want that, Chanyeol. It scared me." Chanyeol knows. Of course he knows. He could see with his own two eyes how scared Baekhyun was every time, even though the boy tried to mask it. "I wanted it to be over."

"I-"

"But then you kissed me," Baekhyun continues, looking back at Chanyeol again, a fond smile on his lips. "You kissed me, and I wanted to stay again. I thought I could live through the torture if you were there for me afterwards." Chanyeol's chest feels warm, so warm, but it also hurts so much, Baekhyun's confession causing him joy just the same as it is causing him pain. "And then we... we slept together. It was the best night of my life." Baekhyun chuckles. "Momentarily, I got lost in a fantasy I shared with you, and it was perfect, but then the nightmare came, and brought me back to reality, reminding me that nothing is as good as I thought it was." Yes, Chanyeol remembers that night when he woke up in the middle of the storm, seeing Baekhyun so out of it as he sat on the bed, crying. "I started to think that you would never want me again after they touch me, because I'd be too disgusting, too dirty. After all, I would be touched by other men, tainted by other men. And with that in mind, I made you give me that promise, thinking that I'd just spare you the trouble."

"I've never once thought about that," Chanyeol says immediately, the urge to let Baekhyun know that he would never think of him as disgusting too strong to ignore. "I was afraid that you'd be hurt, afraid that it would change you. I was even wondering if you'd let me touch again, or if you'd be scared of physical contact. I thought about many things, but I never, never thought of you as disgusting... I always thought of you as beautiful, strong, pure, too good for this world, and so many other things." Chanyeol moves his hand from Baekhyun's hair to the boy's cheek, his fingertips touching the smooth skin as he slides his hand lower and lower, stopping only when it grazes over the bruises - that can't be from anything else than choking, judging by the look of it - and hickeys on Baekhyun's neck. "And I still haven't changed my opinion in the slightest; For me, you're the best thing in this whole world, angel." 

Chanyeol would feel bad for making Baekhyun cry, but seeing the boy's bright smile as tears of happiness roll down his cheeks makes the soldier think that after all, he didn't really do anything wrong. "You too," Baekhyun chokes out through the tears, his blissful laughter the most beautiful melody for Chanyeol's ears. "You're the best thing in the world for me as well." Chanyeol's heart explodes with love the very moment those words leave Baekhyun's mouth, and the soldier can't resist the urge to kiss Baekhyun any longer, bending down despite the pain in his neck and back and tasting the salty tears on Baekhyun's lips.

It's strange; how Baekhyun's lips taste salty and so, so sweet at the same time. 

  
  


Chanyeol hates the camp in Pungsan, he decides after the first week. It's not even the camp itself - because the camp itself is quite amazing, truly - it's more the atmosphere of it here that Chanyeol can't stand. 

Again, the word about Chanyeol betraying his country and fleeing North Korea spreads, and just like before, there are tons of gossips that follow Chanyeol everywhere he goes. However, the only difference is that now it's much, much worse, since now he isn't holed up in a tent with Baekhyun like he was then, but he is also going out. 

There are some people that are keeping the gossiping on down low, only staring at Chanyeol as he walks by and whispering about the man when Chanyeol is gone. Then, there are the ones who are encouraged to address the topic of Chanyeol even more when they see Chanyeol approaching, and they don't have any problem with talking loudly about the soldier right in front of him, not caring if Chanyeol hears it or not. And, lastly, there are also people who not only don't care at all about Chanyeol hearing them; they also _want_ Chanyeol to hear them. It's the worst type of all, since it's exactly them who make up things that aren't true, spreading them while knowing that they can say whatever they want because Chanyeol can't stand up for himself, since - quoting- _nobody would believe the words of a traitor._

Chanyeol, of course, knew he was going to be unwelcome here, that he'll be labelled as a traitor, and he also expected some insults - it is a given that he'd be hated, and thus it didn't bother Chanyeol that much when someone started talking about him, screaming around about him being a disgusting betrayer. However, what did bother him - and what hurt him too - was when people started making up things about him, whispering disgusting lies about Chanyeol and even going as far as forcing those lies on Chanyeol afterwards.

One of many things people around here made up about Chanyeol is that he was one of the ones that were torturing Baekhyun during Baekhyun's imprisonment, that he was the one who gave Baekhyun the scars. Then, after one of the medics mentioned that Baekhyun had an anal tear accompanying all the cuts and bruises, they start accusing Chanyeol of using Baekhyun for sex and being rough with the boy, saying that Chanyeol definitely couldn't keep his hands off Baekhyun, forcing Baekhyun into the act when Baekhyun refused. Some even think that Chanyeol is using Baekhyun even now, having a fake relationship with the boy so he could get into South and infiltrate the territory. And then, to top it all off, there are people who believe that Chanyeol is cheating on Baekhyun, sleeping with Kyungsoo behind Baekhyun's back while the boy is recovering.

It hurts to hear such accusations, and it's making Chanyeol shiver every time because the mere image of himself doing even one of those things makes him want to puke. He would never hurt Baekhyun, would never even look at the boy if Baekhyun said he doesn't wish for it. 

But nobody really cares. 

Even now, when he's going to the toilet, people whisper to one another about him, the more daring and rude ones even stopping Chanyeol to ask something completely out of line. It's not that Chanyeol is bothered because he can't take the hateful remarks, definitely not; he's bothered because those comments are about Baekhyun as well, and Chanyeol is frustrated that they would drag Baekhyun into this too. 

They all think they are defending Baekhyun, that they are not doing anything wrong, but they are mistaken - they are just making it worse.

If Baekhyun wasn't spending all of his days lying on the bed in a room that is pretty much isolated from other rooms in the hospital building - Kyungsoo's request - and got the chance to hear the gossips that are going around about Chanyeol and him, he would definitely start feeling guilty. He would be sad because he would think that it's his fault that Chanyeol is harassed like this, and Chanyeol would never be able to make Baekhyun believe that it isn't his fault, and that it's alright.

It would hurt Baekhyun so much to hear such things, Chanyeol knows, which is why he doesn't mention it in front of Baekhyun, asking Kyungsoo not to say anything about it either. Surprisingly, Kyungsoo agrees to it without much protests, he too being aware that it would just cause Baekhyun pain in which the boy is definitely not in a need for. 

_It'll get better,_ Chanyeol tells himself.

But it doesn't. And even Kyungsoo can't help it, though the man tries very hard.

Another week passes, then another, and it doesn't get any better - a good thing is that it doesn't get any worse either, though. Or maybe, it's just Chanyeol who stops caring after some time, only focusing his attention to Baekhyun whose recovery is going simply great. All of is wounds are healing without problems, there is not a sign of any bruises on his body either after three weeks, and his body has regained all of the energy and strength again. Just like before, Baekhyun is talking a lot and smiling a lot, touching and hugging Chanyeol every chance he gets, enjoying the closeness of his lover. 

With Baekhyun in his arms, the boy kissing him and smiling at him with so much affection, Chanyeol couldn't care less about gossip, his ears only catching Baekhyun's soft voice instead of the ugly insults and eyes only seeing Baekhyun's beautiful eyes instead of the glares he gets so often. 

He's fine like that. All he needs is Baekhyun. 

  
  


"I didn't celebrate your birthday with you," Baekhyun says all of sudden on a friday night, his index finger that was drawing patterns on Chanyeol's bare chest stopping. "It was on 27th, right? I... wasn't exactly there then."

Chanyeol is a little surprised that Baekhyun would mention his birthday now without having any reason for it, but if Baekhyun wants to talk about Chanyeol's birthday, then that's what they will talk about. Baekhyun jumping from one topic to another has never been a surprise, so him suddenly starting a conversation about Chanyeol's birthday might have been unexpected, but Chanyeol isn't completely taken aback either. "Yes, it was on 27th," Chanyeol simply says, not knowing where Baekhyun wants to go with this.

"I've never given you a gift." 

"You woke up," Chanyeol reminds him, placing a kiss into Baekhyun's hair. "That was the best gift I could have gotten." It might sound sappy, but it's the truth.

"It doesn't count," Baekhyun stubbornly says, getting up into a sitting position and staring down at Chanyeol. The moonlight that gets to the room through the window lightens up some parts of Baekhyun's face, making the boy's eyes shine in the dark room, and just like many times before, Chanyeol's breath is taken away upon the sight of the beautiful man in front of him. "I-I have an actual gift for you now," Baekhyun stutters, visibly turning nervous. 

Attempting to ease those nerves, Chanyeol reaches out from where he's lying on the bed and takes a hold of Baekhyun's hand, caressing the back of it. "Do you?" Chanyeol smiles at the boy, wondering if Baekhyun is able to see the pure adoration in Chanyeol's eyes as the man stares at him. 

"I do," Baekhyun whispers, nibbling on his lower lip. "And I hope you'll like it, even if it's probably going to be bad."

"What is it?" Chanyeol asks curiously, furrowing his brows in thought. Baekhyun didn't even leave this room since they've come here, so there was no way he could have actually gotten a gift for Chanyeol - and besides, there is not much Baekhyun could have gotten around here, aside from medical supplies and weapons. Did Kyungsoo help him get it, perhaps? Nobody else would help. Maybe-

"You once said you wanted to hear me sing," Baekhyun interrupts Chanyeol's train of thoughts, looking away in embarrassment when Chanyeol's eyes widen, the soldier not believing what he has just heard. "A-And I thought I could sing for you now...? I guess.." Baekhyun mumbles, gulping audibly. "I was waiting until I got better so it wouldn't sound too bad-"

"I'm sure it isn't going to sound bad."

"-and I even practised a little while you were out," Baekhyun finishes, talking over Chanyeol. It's clear that he is not only nervous but insecure too, afraid of embarrassing himself in front of the person he likes, but Chanyeol doesn't understand why - by now, Baekhyun should know that there is nothing he could do to make Chanyeol like him less. And besides, Chanyeol is sure that Baekhyun's voice is beautiful. 

"I'll love it," Chanyeol says with certainty, heaving himself from the bed in order to kiss Baekhyun, hoping that it will help Baekhyun calm down at least a little. "I know I will."

Licking his lips, Baekhyun rests his forehead against Chanyeol's. "I haven't sung in a long time," he warns. "It could be horrible."

"It won't be."

"How can you know?"

"Because I like you too much," Chanyeol tells him, kissing Baekhyun again shortly, not being able to resist. He loves Baekhyun's lips too much to hold back. "And whatever you do, I'll always think it's the most perfect thing."

"...What are you saying." Baekhyun shakes his head, but there is a smile on his lips as he pushes Chanyeol away, the man falling backwards, his back hitting the mattress. "You say the most embarrassing things, I swear," he says, covering his blushing face with his hand. _A very beautiful hand,_ Chanyeol thinks. _Everything about you is so beautiful._ "Close your eyes."

"Huh? Why?" 

"Because I can't sing when you're looking at me like that. It makes me nervous," Baekhyun explains, and if Baekhyun's bashful behavior isn't the cutest thing ever, than Chanyeol doesn't know what is. "...So?" Baekhyun insists. "Could you close your eyes?" Without another word, Chanyeol does as he is asked, relaxing on the bed and closing his eyes. "Thank you... And don't open them." Baekhyun orders, then adding a soft _please_. 

"I won't."

For a few seconds it's completely quiet in the room, safe for the sound of Baekhyun shuffling on the bed. However, Chanyeol doesn't mind waiting, because he knows that Baekhyun needs to calm down first, and so, without saying anything, Chanyeol blindly searches for Baekhyun's hand again, placing his on top of Baekhyun's. Baekhyun's hand is warm, and upon touching it, Chanyeol remembers how cold it was on the day of his birthday, when he didn't know if Baekhyun was going to make it or not.

Oh, how happy Chanyeol is that it all worked out. 

Just when Chanyeol thinks of how lucky he is that Baekhyun came back to him, Baekhyun starts humming to a tune Chanyeol doesn't know, and soon, he starts singing too, the first words of a song Chanyeol isn't familiar with filling the air. 

It only takes Baekhyun to sing the first few lines to make Chanyeol's heart jump in his chest. 

  


_As if I just made a song, I am trying to say it now_

_Just listen, I'll sing for you_

_Today I will be brave and say it_

_Just casually listen, I'll sing for you_

  


As expected, Baekhyun's voice is beautiful. It's very soothing, the notes Baekhyun sings calming Chanyeol as he listens to the song though he wasn't even stressed before, and it's also incredibly warm, making Chanyeol think that today is the hottest day of summer instead of a cold winter night. 

It's simply taking Chanyeol's breath away.

  


_The way you cry, the way you smile_

_I wonder how much they mean to me_

_The words I wanted to say, but missed the chance_

_I will confess, but just listen_

_I'll sing for you_

  


It's back again; that feeling where Chanyeol feels excited beyond belief but he feels calm at the same time, his heart beating at a normal pace while his mind is racing. The song is pretty - just like Baekhyun's angelic voice - but the words of the song are what truly gets to Chanyeol. _It's a confession song,_ Chanyeol realizes, a smile forming on his lips. _He's confessing to me._

  


_Just listen to it once and smile_

  


But why is it Chanyeol who is so nervous while Baekhyun is the one singing?

  


_It's a little funny right? For me, there's only you_

_Every day, I'm thankful that you are with me_

_My present given from god_

_After today, I might act awkward again_

_But today, I want to say it for sure_

_So just listen_

  


And Chanyeol does. He listens to the song, enjoying every second of it and taking in every word, Baekhyun's captivating and unique voice hitting the notes perfectly, making Chanyeol wonder how could he ever doubt himself. With a voice like this, Baekhyun should be nothing else but sure of himself. 

It's amazing; the song, the voice, the words, simply everything. It's a confession so beautiful that Chanyeol thinks about he doesn't deserve for a second, but changes his mind right after, knowing that Baekhyun wouldn't like if Chanyeol had these thoughts like that. And so, instead of thinking about not deserving of such a confession, Chanyeol thinks about how lucky he is to receive it, because out all the people in the world, it's him that Baekhyun is singing the song to. 

When the chorus comes again, Chanyeol feels like he's drowning in the beauty of Baekhyun's voice - or more like, he feels like he's floating in the air, carried on a cloud high in the sky, going higher with every note Baekhyun carries out perfectly. It's simply... an experience to hear Baekhyun sing, and he can see why would people want to spend their last seconds alive listening to Baekhyun singing. However, when it comes to Chanyeol, the soldier would rather listen to Baekhyun's gentle voice his whole life, not only the last few seconds of it. 

He doesn't know at what point his eyes start to water, but he knows that the first and only tear rolls down his cheek exactly when Baekhyun ends the song, adding a quiet, "Happy birthday, Chanyeol." And then, before Chanyeol can even open his eyes, there are soft lips on his own, Baekhyun kissing him slowly and with so much emotion that Chanyeol's heart is ready to jump out of his chest. "...I love you."

"I love you too," Chanyeol whispers, his arms wrapping around Baekhyun's body, holding the boy close. He can't describe in words how touched he is, how in love he is, and so instead of talking, he just hugs Baekhyun and kisses him again, and again, and again, not being able to stop. "Thank you," he says. "Your voice is truly beautiful." Another kiss. "Please sing for me more often."

"If you wish for it." 

And Chanyeol does. He wishes for Baekhyun to sing for him every day til the rest of his life. 

  
  


The next day, Chanyeol ignores all the glares, insults and screaming that's directed at him. Wherever he goes, whether it's toilet or kitchens, he isn't fazed in the slightest by the nasty remarks, not letting anything negative get to him today. "You seem quite unbothered today," Kyungsoo comments on his behavior when he notices the change too as they walk together to the kitchens to get their meals. To Baekhyun, the food is always delivered by the medics, but Chanyeol has to go for his meal by himself, always having to be accompanied by Kyungsoo if he wants to get something edible on his tray - without Kyungsoo, they would give him a round of laughter at best, leaving him with an empty tray. 

"Baekhyun confessed to me yesterday," Chanyeol boasts, a huge grin on his face. 

"Huh?" Kyungsoo looks at him with confusion. "But... you already were together before..?"

"It's different now," Chanyeol says, as if it was supposed to be obvious. "He sang for me. And he has the most beautiful voice." And then, he tells Kyungsoo everything that happened yesterday, too happy to keep it to himself. If Jongin were here, Chanyeol would definitely tell him about yesterday's events, but sadly, his best friend is no longer here with him, and Kyungsoo is the only person whom Chanyeol can consider as a friend, so it's only understandable that Kyungsoo will also have to listen to Chanyeol's story. 

"I'm really happy for you, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo says genuinely, smiling at the taller man. "I'm glad things are working out." 

"I am, too."

After talking to Kyungsoo a little bit more, asking him how he's holding up and things similar, needing an update on Kyungsoo's condition, Chanyeol returns to Baekhyun's - and Chanyeol's too, though only Baekhyun and Kyungsoo acknowledge the fact - room, eating his lunch together with the boy. He wanted Kyungsoo to come with, so they could all eat together, but Kyungsoo refused the offer, telling Chanyeol that he should spend the lunch with Baekhyun alone. "Why?" Chanyeol asked then. "I don't want you to eat alone." But all Kyungsoo says is that according to what Chanyeol has said, Chanyeol and Baekhyun just took another step forward in their relationship yesterday, and he would only feel like intruding a special moment if he came. 

"We can see each other during dinner, I have some job to do during the day anyway," and with that he bid Chanyeol goodbye, wishing him good luck with Baekhyun once more before disappearing behind the corner. 

The rest of the day passes in a flash, but Chanyeol isn't all that surprised, since time spent with Baekhyun always seems to pass fast, hours feeling like minutes and minutes feeling like seconds - the exact opposite of what it normally is like for Chanyeol. However, Chanyeol doesn't really mind that the day is ending in a blink of an eye, especially not when he was able to spend the whole day with Baekhyun, the two of them lying on the bed with their legs tangled and smiles on their faces. Basically, it's just a day like every other, but for Chanyeol it's still special, because Baekhyun's presence alone is making today a day to remember. 

Everything is so nice. It feels like a dream. 

And Chanyeol is woken up from that perfect picture he had in front of his eyes when he least expects it. 

Chanyeol was just going for a bit of water, but this time not for Baekhyun, but for himself. It was supposed to take one minute at most, just get to the water tank and back - Chanyeol didn't think there would be any problem with that. But he should have known that something would happen, he should have known. After all, nothing ever goes according to Chanyeol's plan, and the universe always decides to fuck with him just when his guard is down momentarily, the man too happy to register the world around him for once. 

It all happens quickly. One second Chanyeol is asking the man in front of the water tank to step away, and the next second he is already lying on the ground, receiving a kick to his stomach. "Wha-" but Chanyeol doesn't even have time to ask, because another strong kick comes, this time not to his stomach, but to his leg. _It hurts,_ is all Chanyeol thinks as another series of kicks follows, and Chanyeol doesn't know in the slightest how to get out of this situation. He is a good fighter, always has been, but it's hard to fight against someone he doesn't even see, the dirt in his eyes making it impossible to open his eyes. 

"That's what you deserve, you shit," a deep voice says, laughing. 

"We don't need a traitor here," another yells. 

"You deserve a good beating after torturing Baekhyun for so long."

Chanyeol doesn't even know what the men around him are saying because they are all screaming all at once, but he can understand what point they are trying to make. _You aren't_ _welcome here_. 

It hurts, every kick hurts, and Chanyeol at least tries to shield his head from the hits. However, even despite him covering his head, one of the men manages to punch him in the mouth, making Chanyeol gasp in pain. Immediately, he feels blood on his tongue, and Chanyeol feels like puking - he has always hated the taste of blood. However, the blood in his mouth is the least of his problems, now.

"What are you doing?!" Chanyeol hears faintly, finally a voice that is familiar. "Stop!" the familiar voice yells again, but despite the order, the kicks don't stop, Chanyeol still feeling the hits coming from everywhere. In the midst of all the pain, Chanyeol thinks of Baekhyun, realizing that his lover had to withstand this - and so much more - every single week for almost three months, and his heart hurts much more than his body. "Fucking I told you to stop! If you don't step away from him I'm gonna get you all killed!" 

Someone screams something. Someone kicks him again. Someone calls out his name. Some kicks him again. Someone takes a hold of his neck and starts to choke him. Someone calls his name again, louder this time. Or is that person just closer to him, that's why Chanyeol hears the voice clearer now?

Chanyeol wants to opens his eyes, at least try to despite having dirt in them, but he doesn't get to do that, passing out before he can register what's happening. 

  
  


When Chanyeol opens his eyes again, the first thing he sees is a white, cracked ceiling. He frowns, not remembering falling asleep- but then, he realizes that he doesn't really remember anything. 

"Chanyeol?" a soft voice calls out his name, and Chanyeol turns his head to the side, following the sound. His head is spinning slightly and it hurts when he turns his neck, but when his eyes focus on ocean eyes, button nose and pink, bow-shaped lips, his pain is eased the tiniest bit. _Baekhyun,_ he says, but then, when he doesn't hear his own voice, realizes that he didn't _say_ anything, even if he wanted to. But why is there no sound? He knows that he was saying something. And why does Baekhyun look so worried? Why does his lover have cheeks wet with tears? "Oh, Chanyeol," he breathes out in what sounds like relief, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm so sorry." _Why?_ But again, there is no sound, and Chanyeol frowns more, not liking the state he's in. Why can't he talk? He needs to talk. He needs to tell Baekhyun to stop crying. 

Deciding that if he can't talk then he will just pull Baekhyun close and comfort the boy this way, Chanyeol attempts to heave himself from the bed he's lying on, but the moment he attempts to do so, he cries out in pain, falling back down on the mattress and breathing heavily. His body hurts so much. What is this?

"Don't!" Baekhyun yelps, eyes wide in fear as he places both of his hands on Chanyeol's chest gently, keeping the soldier down. "You're hurt; you can't move around just yet. So lay still okay?" 

_Hurt?_ Chanyeol questions in his mind. _But when did I-_

Suddenly, all of the memories come back to him, Chanyeol starting to remember what happened and why exactly he can't move or talk. _I was jumped,_ he realizes with horror, and as if on cue, the images of legs all around him flash before his eyes, but then there's only darkness. He remembers someone calling him for him too, but he doesn't know if he actually remembers it or if it's just his imagination, and so he leaves it be for a while- _but no, there had to be someone,_ Chanyeol is sure now. Otherwise, who would have brought him back there? Baekhyun wouldn't be able to carry him, then who? Kyungsoo comes to his mind, and the voice even matches with the one in his faint memory, but Kyungsoo wouldn't have the strength to carry him either. 

How did he get back? 

"I'm sorry that I was so ignorant and didn't see what was happening the whole time," Baekhyun apologizes once more, and Chanyeol feels his hand being squeezed. It feels nice. _Baekhyun's hands are so soft._ "If I just paid more attention, I would have noticed. I'm a terrible lover."

 _No, no, what are you saying?_ "No," Chanyeol chokes out, and it comes out so strained and hoarse that Chanyeol himself has a hard time recognizing his own voice. "Don't say-" Chanyeol has to stop in the middle of the sentence, because even though he managed to get the words out, his throat is hurting too much. However, he still continues, even despite the agonizing pain, "-things like that. You- You are great." After Chanyeol's pathetic try at speaking Baekhyun starts crying even more, his head falling on the mattress as he keeps squeezing Chanyeol's hand, wetting it with tears. Chanyeol's doesn't mind having his hand wet, but he minds seeing Baekhyun cry. He hates it. Crying like this doesn't suit Baekhyun; happiness suits him way more. 

"How long has this been going on?" Baekhyun asks, hiccuping. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have done something, you idiot." Chanyeol wants to tell Baekhyun to stop crying, but he can't get the words out, only gaping like a fish. "I could have done something... I would have told them to stop, I would have- I would have-" Baekhyun, too, doesn't seem to be able to speak, and so he only cries more, his trembling fingers wrapped around Chanyeol's hand.

Chanyeol has never thought that things could change so quickly. How is it even possible? Yesterday, Chanyeol was falling asleep as the happiest person on Earth, holding Baekhyun in his arms as Baekhyun hummed a pretty tune of a song Chanyeol didn't know in Chanyeol's ear, and Chanyeol felt so blessed that he could cry. And now, only a day later, Baekhyun is crying by his side, and Chanyeol is so weak that he can't even comfort his lover.

  
  


Baekhyun is the one who takes care of Chanyeol after the incident, not letting anyone else - aside from Kyungsoo - as much as look at Chanyeol. It's strange for the soldier, how the tables have turned, now it being him unable to move and Baekhyun the one who takes care of everything, feeding Chanyeol and showering him with kisses in a hope that Chanyeol will get better sooner. Sometimes though, Baekhyun gets a little too caring - if it makes any sense - and Chanyeol thinks that it might be because the boy still feels guilty about what happened, blaming his _ignorance_ \- as Baekhyun likes to call it - for what happened even two weeks later. But Chanyeol doesn't blame Baekhyun in the slightest, he never could, especially when it wasn't even Baekhyun's fault. Why would he feel bad when it had nothing to do with him? 

Now, in these two weeks that he tries to get Baekhyun to understand that he is not the one to blame for this mess, Chanyeol finally realizes how Baekhyun must have felt back in Hyesan camp when the roles were reversed. At that time, no matter how many times was Chanyeol told that it wasn't his fault, Chanyeol still believed it partially was, and now it's the same with Baekhyun. It's a horrible feeling; not being able to make the person you love understand that it wasn't their fault that you have gotten hurt, that is. 

It's after two and a half weeks that Baekhyun's behavior changes out of blue. At first, Chanyeol doesn't mention it even though the change is very, very obvious, but when Baekhyun gets too smiley all of sudden in just one day, Chanyeol decides to ask about it before they go to sleep. "Baekhyun? Can I ask you something?" he starts when Baekhyun climbs under the covers and snuggles up to Chanyeol, careful of the man's injuries - it might have been two weeks, but it doesn't mean that Chanyeol is alright now just because he can move and talk. 

"Of course," is Baekhyun's reply as he rests his head on Chanyeol's shoulder, kissing Chanyeol's neck in the process. How is Chanyeol even supposed to ask, though? _Why are you so happy suddenly?_ Isn't it exactly what Chanyeol wanted Baekhyun to do? He told Baekhyun to cheer up and forget about what happened, or at least forget the stupid idea that he was to blame for Chanyeol getting hurt, so what's wrong with Baekhyun actually doing that? "Chanyeol?"

"I-" Chanyeol starts, trying to quickly think of the phrasing. "You seem... different. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing, of course not!" he adds quickly. "It's just that... it was pretty sudden. But I'm happy you're happy."

Baekhyun chuckles, his pretty hand placed on Chanyeol's bare chest. It's pleasantly warm. "Do you want to know why I'm like this?" Baekhyun questions, and there is a mischievous undertone in his voice that makes Chanyeol curious. "I will tell you if you want to know."

"I do want to know, definitely," Chanyeol says. Of course he wants to know, that's why he started this discussion in the first place. Why is Baekhyun teasing him? Is it even teasing, or is Chanyeol mistaking the playful tone? 

"Oh really?" Baekhyun questions, feigning innocence as he kisses Chanyeol's neck again, and Chanyeol swears that his heart is once going to burst with all those butterfly kisses Baekhyun loves to gift him with so much. 

"Baekhyun... don't play with me."

"Why not?"

"I don't like it."

"...Are you sure?"

" _Baekhyun,_ " Chanyeol sighs deeply, making Baekhyun laugh. Chanyeol might be a little frustrated because of Baekhyun's teasing, but the boy's adorable laugh is definitely making up for it. "Just tell me, so we can go to sleep. You said a minute ago you're tired, or didn't you?" For a moment then, Baekhyun is quiet and unmoving, and Chanyeol wonders for a second if Baekhyun took it the wrong way and now thinks that Chanyeol is annoyed with him. "Angel.." he starts, the apology already at the tip of his tongue, but then Baekhyun finally speaks up.

"We're leaving tomorrow," he says, heaving himself up from Chanyeol's chest in order to look at him and see the reaction on his lover's face. "In the morning," Baekhyun adds.

"...What?" is the only thing Chanyeol manages say, his brain not quick enough to process the information. "Leaving... where?" Leaving the hospital wing, Baekhyun means? It's true that they have been occupying this room for quite some time now, but-

"To Mokpo. We're going to Mokpo. It's on the Southwest of South Korea, if you don't know," Baekhyun explains, smiling brightly, clearly amused by Chanyeol's shocked, utterly confused expression. "I talked to Kyungsoo, and he talked to some people, and we are leaving, Chanyeol," as he talks, his smile softens and his eyes sparkle with joy, and Chanyeol falls in love with the boy all over again. 

"B-But how...? Isn't it too abrupt?" Chanyeol asks as it all starts sinking in. Besides, Baekhyun said that Mokpo is Southwest of South Korea, which is extremely far from Pungsan that is the center of the North Korea - how does he want to get there? Nobody will drive them such a distance, and Baekhyun certainly doesn't know the way either.

"Not really," Baekhyun says. "It was planned a few days ago, and everything is prepared. _Everything._ I just didn't tell you." Baekhyun doesn't have to explain why he didn't tell Chanyeol sooner, because Chanyeol knows very well; this is a payback, Baekhyun doing the very same thing to Chanyeol that Chanyeol did to Baekhyun back in November. _That cheeky brat,_ Chanyeol thinks, but he can't help the smile that appears on his lips a second later upon seeing how satisfied with himself Baekhyun is. "I was actually waiting for you to ask me," Baekhyun reveals. "If you didn't ask today, I'd wait until tomorrow."

"Good thing I asked then," Chanyeol chuckles, and while he doesn't really understand how Baekhyun managed to plan such a thing, he feels happy, his whole body embraced by anticipation. Some part of him is still doubtful though and doesn't believe that Baekhyun is saying the truth - despite knowing that Baekhyun wouldn't tell such a lie - but Chanyeol ignores that part wholeheartedly because the look in Baekhyun's eyes is telling that the boy is telling the truth and only the truth. 

_They are leaving this place._

It makes Chanyeol think of all the possibilities, of their future away from this mess. 

It feels like it could be a new beginning, and this time for real. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**_epilogue_ **

**** _August 1951, Mokpo_

  
  


Chanyeol waits for Baekhyun patiently in front of the hospital building, looking up at the blue, cloudless sky. The Sun is shining brightly even though it's already around seven in the evening, and while it has definitely been a pretty day, Chanyeol isn't enjoying the all-day long, extremely hot weather that makes him sweat when he simply stands without moving. However, Chanyeol doesn't mind _that_ much, knowing that Baekhyun likes this kind of weather a lot.

It doesn't take long before Chanyeol feels someone's arms wrapping around his body from behind, and a smile forms on his lips right away, Chanyeol not even having to see the person who is back-hugging him, knowing very well that it's his lover. "How was work?" Chanyeol asks as he turns around, looking away from the sky and looking into Baekhyun's eyes that sparkle prettily in the sun. "I expected to wait for you longer."

"It was alright," Baekhyun answers shortly before tilting his head up and standing up on his tiptoes, pecking Chanyeol's lips in a greeting. "And I was sent home a little bit sooner because Jihyo came sooner too. But don't get used to it, it's only for today."

"I'm already used to waiting for you forever, so don't worry," Chanyeol smiles, leaning in and capturing Baekhyun's lips once more, this time for a kiss that lasts longer than one second. Baekhyun doesn't like getting long kisses right in front of the hospital building because - according to what Baekhyun says - the other doctors are making fun of him afterwards for being too lovesick, but despite his protests at home, Baekhyun never protests at the moment Chanyeol kisses him. _Doesn't like it, my ass,_ Chanyeol thinks before he pulls away. "Let's go home."

Their small house is a twenty minutes long walk from the hospital if they take shortcuts, but Chanyeol and Baekhyun never do. Instead, they walk by the sea side side the whole time, even though it takes longer - maybe around forty or so minutes - the two of them looking over the horizon with their fingers intertwined and smiles plastered on their faces. Usually, they share stories from work, Chanyeol telling Baekhyun about the kids at his kindergarten while Baekhyun tells him about his patients at hospital, but today they are quiet, both of them content with the silence as they walk home. On sunny days like these, it's normal for them to just enjoy each other's company without saying much.

When they get home, Chanyeol tells Baekhyun that he'll do the dinner tonight and that the boy can just rest in the meantime. Baekhyun says that he can do it, that he even bought ingredients for Chanyeol's favorite the other day, but Chanyeol insists that he'll take care of it. After all, Chanyeol wants his lover to take a breather and rest, since he's been in the hospital more than he was at home for the past week. It's strange how there are times when Baekhyun doesn't have more than a handful of patients for the whole day, and then comes a period when he doesn't know of whom he needs to take care of sooner, and Chanyeol can just imagine how stressing it must be for his lover. 

"Can we go to sleep early today?" Baekhyun asks an hour later as they dine. "I feel somehow tired today."

"Definitely," is Chanyeol's immediate answer, since he too felt quite sleepy the whole day. However, he would have said yes even if he wasn't tired at all, because their habit of going to sleep together can't be broken. 

Just like every day, they wash the dishes together after dinner and wash themselves as well, enjoying the cold water in the hot weather - it's refreshing, but it still doesn't chase the sleepiness away from neither of them. Then, when they are clean and not sticky from sweat anymore, they dress into the most casual, old clothes and walk out of their house as the Sun starts to set, the two sitting down on the two pillows on the floor to witness yet another day ending; It's one of their oldest habits, the two of them watching the sunset together since the very first evening they spent there, not being able to resist the sight. However, now it's definitely more pleasant than it was in January, since at that time it was quite cold outside and now it's just... perfect, and they spend a longer amount of time chatting as they watch how day changes into a night, going inside only when the stars start to be visible on the sky.

They make their way to the bathroom afterwards, washing their teeth before Chanyeol leads them the bed, the two of them slipping under the covers together. Baekhyun snuggles up to him right away just like every night, getting into his position on Chanyeol's chest and bidding his lover goodnight, placing a kiss on the exact spot as always. Smiling, Chanyeol wraps his arm around Baekhyun's back, his fingers grazing over the now-healed scars there, and he whispers _goodnight_ to Baekhyun as well, kissing the top of the boy's head.

The healed whip wounds on top of which Chanyeol's hand is placed are reminding Chanyeol every night of what Baekhyun had to go through back in the Hyesan camp, and although Chanyeol feels guilty for running away from the war that's still raging on on the borders, he also doesn't regret that he chose to live this comfortable life with Baekhyun instead of continuing in his duty as a soldier. After all, his wish to fall asleep with Baekhyun in his arms every night until the rest of their lives wouldn't come true otherwise, since the dangerous possibility of one of them dying any day would be too big if they fought on the battlefield, and Chanyeol definitely wouldn't be able to get himself back together if his lover died - Kyungsoo might have been strong enough to keep on living even after Jongin's death, but Chanyeol doesn't think he would be able to do the same. 

He can't imagine a life without Baekhyun, not now when he has tried how wonderful it is, just the two of them away from all the trouble. Just like Chanyeol wished. 

"Chanyeol..?" Baekhyun mumbles sleepily.

"Mhmm?"

"I'm... I'm really happy," the boy says, and Chanyeol squeezes Baekhyun tighter in his arms, drifting off to sleep with a smile on his lips. 

Just like Chanyeol himself, Baekhyun, too, has fulfilled his wish; he is finally happy, and Chanyeol is glad that out of all the places in the world, Baekhyun has found happiness in his arms. 


End file.
